To Jungkook you smell like home. Always have probably always will. Sweet. Your scent is sweet not an overpowering sweet but not an underwhelming one either it’s just right, just you. Before you and him even thought about getting an apartment together you still smelt like home to him. Like he said you always have. The very first dorm that the group moved into you and Jungkook were actually roommates. Although he didn’t talk to you much, given he didn’t talk to anyone that much during those times, He enjoyed hearing you babble about everything and nothing from the bottom bunk each night, he enjoyed sharing the confined space with you. So when you had to move into your own room for “privacy reasons” or whatever Namjoon said he was upset, understandably so. And to add insult to injury they had given you the room furthest from his. Your presence, well lack of presence in now just his room was unsettling. He felt as if he couldn’t relax in his own room like something was missing-well you were missing but it’s not like you had moved out of the house completely you were just down the hall yet Jungkook felt so…. uncomfortable. In his own room, his own space, his own home. Uncomfortable. It wasn’t until two weeks later when Jungkook had finally worked up the courage visit your room, pathetic he knows, he understood why. As soon as he opened the door the sweet smell of you overtook him. Home. Here Jungkook officially named the smell of you home.
TOUCH
With everything you handle you do it with love, care and delicacy physical or not. It may not always seem that way to others but Jungkook knows, hell he’s experienced it himself more times than he can count. So when Jungkook reaches to touch you he only hopes it radiates the same level of love, care and delicacy you show to him and others. In fact he prays his touch radiates those same traits and more. Jungkook prays that through his touch you can feel his passion, desire, his need for you. Your skin soft in Jungkook’s palm, he thinks about all the times you’ve held your hand to his face looked him deep in the eyes and tucked his loose hair behind his ears. He repeats the same actions on you, your cheek warm, he hopes you feel the same butterflies he does when your the one holding him, hopes you want to kiss him as bad as he wants to kiss you in these moments. Everything about Jungkook’s touch on you is warm every high five, every hand hold to every kiss fuelled by nothing but love and admiration. Physical touch Jungkooks preferred love language solely because of you. He lives for your touch no doubt about it deep down he prays you live for his.
SOUND
The sound of your voice is calming to him, sometimes it scares the shit out of him and on occasion (many) it makes him feel…. things. Ultimately Jungkook likes the sound of your voice scratch that he loves the sound of your voice. Since trainee days he’s loved the sound of your voice. You talk a lot,much to his delight, you know being the shy kid and all he didn’t always talk much as he does now so having the sound of your voice was really a blessing. Your voice allowed him to be included provided him comfort and gave him friendship. The sound of you alone could has and will continue to stop him dead in his tracks every time. He enjoys the sound of you in all forms anger, happiness, joy, sadness, pleasure don’t get it wrong by no means does Jungkook enjoy when your angry or sad in fact if you’re crying he’s crying right alongside you but there is a small part of him that does enjoy that he’s able to hear the sound of you in these moments. Reminds him you’re actually real that you’re actually here with him. The sound of you grounds him. The sound of you is calming.
TASTE
Obsessed. Jeon Jungkook is obsessed with the taste of you. Unapologetically obsessed. From the taste of your lips to the taste of your… uh well…. lips. Much like the smell of you, you taste sweet but unlike the smell of you Jungkook could write a 14 paged essay on what exactly the taste of you is. Honey sweet honey you taste like what he imagines the shiniest star is the sky tastes like warm life changing just so fucking good. Call Jungkook an addict he would take the title with no shame whatsoever having the taste of you on his lips and on his mind constantly worth any title they threw at him although he would prefer ‘the luckiest man alive’. Now the first time you kissed Jungkook, yes you willingly kissed Jungkook, he swears that he was reborn died right there on the spot died again and was reborn. The kiss no joke was the best kiss he has truly ever had in his life as soon as your sweet warm honey star life changing lips came in contact with his he could of cried well, he did cry but not in front of you, no in front of you after the kiss he gave you a quick bow and a small “thank you” with a extremely red face before running off, again Jungkook DID NOT CRY (in front of you). However first time Jungkook got to taste you again, if you know what i mean, admittedly he did cry in front of you, how could he not? If kissing you was him being reborn this was like getting murdered. Shot in the back of the head close range no warning with a wife a house a dog and a newborn on the way. He was in heaven, had to be, a babbling fucking mess in heaven. The taste of you too good unreal almost. So yeah that time Jungkook did cry in front of you so what? You were into it anyways he thinks… he hopes, whatever 10/10 would do again. When it comes to the taste of you Jungkook doesn’t play the taste of you makes him unapologetically feral.
SIGHT
No phrase in any language no word in any dictionary could accurately describe the sight of you. Not breath taking not pretty not cute not sexy none of those words are you because you’re all of them and more, you’re just so… beautiful. He settles on beautiful, still it lacks the kick that he needs it to have, the warmth, the love, appreciation the everything but he’s fighting a loosing battle at this point so as much as it hurts him to he settles on beautiful. From the hairs on your head to the tip of your toes, inside and out. You by far the most beautiful sight Jungkook has ever seen.
“What, the group chat has been that boring without me?”
“You’ve been ignoring everyone”
“I’m talking to you now aren’t i?”
Hoseok rolls his eyes at the younger man. Whe he watches from the kitchen doorway as Jimin aggressively scrubs at his counter tops.
“Barely i had to force my way in here”
“Which i can still call the police for by the way” Jimin turns his back on Hoseok to now scrub the counter top closest to his sink.
“You’re upset”
“No i’m not”
“You’re aggressively cleaning right now”
“I am so no-“ Jimin pauses and looks down at the sponge that’s is practically being chocked out by his right hand he loosens his grip, lets out a sigh then lightly continues scrubbing his counter top “I’m normally cleaning, like any normal unupset person would maybe you’re-“
“Jimin”
“Go away”
“You like her”
Jimin sharply inhales.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“It’s okay if you like her you k-“
Jimin quickly turns to face Hoseok “OKAY?!” He throws the wet sponge he had been using to ‘lightly’ clean his countertops in Hoseok’s direction.
“What the fuc-“
“YOU like her, Jungkook likes her, Tae likes her, Jin likes her, Yoongi likes her and fucking Namjoon likes her what part of that is OKAY?!”
“Woah first of all calm down-“
“Me and her are freinds” Jimin’s eyes are stern and his body tense.
Hoseok shoots him a look of confusion “…okay?”
“That’s it”
“Well that’s not it because you like her”
Jimin stares at Hoseok for an awkward amount of time before promptly turning away from him once more.
“You know what i have other things and people to worry about right now”
“What like Taemin?”
“Yeah. like Taemin”
“Taemin is a distraction”
“I-” He pauses “like Taemin”
“Yeah? You can’t even say that shit confidentiality get real Jimin”
“You—”
“He messages you back every other month at most”
“You know nothing”
“I know that he’s a pretty shit distraction and that you feel left out”
“Left out?” Jimin can feel the anger build in him “Stop talking like you know what i’m thinking and feeling because-“
“You feel left out, they argue less about her flirt more openly and comfortably subconsciously they’re forming a dynamic. a dynamic you’re not apart of”
“And you are?”
“Just ‘cuz i don’t flirt like the others do doesn’t mean i’m not apart of anything. i’ve talked to her that’s something you should do too”
“Wait when did you—” Curiosity finally allowing Jimin to face Hoseok again.
“You’re scared of being left behind but actively do nothing to prevent that worry about yourself right now Jimin you feel like you’re running out of time fix that”
“That’s easier said than done you know that”
“Not really the way i see it is that you’ve put yourself in the friendzone no one is holding you back except you Jimin”
“You can’t jus—”
“Anyways i’m gonna go now this was….yeah also please call Namjoon back before he goes insane and tell Jungkook you’re alive so he can stop crying good talk bro”
With that Hoseok turns on his heels and leaves a dumb founded Jimin standing in his kitchen.
“Good..” The front door slams “…talk?”
—
don’t ask me how i got yellow just know i had to kill some people heart emoji skull emoji praying emoji
“You know….” Jin looks over to Yoongi he’s sprawled out on a black couch thats sits in middle of the room they’re both in mindlessly scrolling through his phone. “It’s almost time to renew our contracts”
“So?” Yoongi replies his full attention still being held by his phone.
“Well, don’t tell her” Yoongi pauses “I told you this but y/ns been kinda on the fence about it all”
“About renewing her contract?”
“About being in the group all together”
Yoongi’s phone falls flat to his chest. Jin bites back a smirk.
“What?”
“Again don’t tell her i told you this but she said being in the groups gotten a little suffocating that we all argue too much and tha—”
“Bullshit”
“I’m not joking you know she comes to me about stuff why would i lie?”
Yoongi pauses for a moment. Why would Seokjin his good friend of over 10 years lie to him?
There are many reasons actually like that one time he took that sandwich out the fridge that was clearly labelled “JINS DO NOT EAT” and ate it right in his face or that other time when he tripped Jin up during rehearsals for no reason at all or that time—
“Trust me she was like really serious about it and—”
Yeah Yoongi doesn’t believe him, not one bit.
“So why are you telling me this shouldn’t you go talk to Joon about this stuff?”
“You know how Namjoon is can’t say no to her like… ever she would be gone before we know it and i thought about bringing it up with Jungkook but you also know how he is..”
“What about Jimin? Hobi? The fucking company, why me?”
“It’s just ‘cuz she said- never mind it’s not important forget i mentioned this”
“What did she say?”
“Nothing… i just i- i don’t want you to think it’s your fault or anything”
“So it’s my fault”
Yoongi now sits fully up right on the couch he was once slouched on with his eyebrows furrowed and gaze locked on Jin.
Jin bites back another smirk.
“No! not at all she just said some… stuff don’t worry about it!”
“What did she say” It’s not a question anymore.
“Well just that maybe you could uh.. be nicer or something?”
“Nicer?” Yoongi is now fully stood up one fist clenched and a head full of questions.
“Me? …Nicer?”
“That’s what she said” Jin shrugs.
Yoongi knows he isn’t the best to his fellow members often rejecting their various displays of affection and saying somewhat mean things to them on occasion. Sure he might of ‘lovingly’ punched a few of them a couple times called them some unkind names but not you! well he did call you a bitch once … or twice but you knew he was joking right? And he says sorry… sometimes, so Yoongi’s not even that mean, not at all, like it’s tough love or whatever. Yoongi can be nice. Yoongi is nice.
Yoongi stares back at Jin.
“Do you… think i could be nicer?”
There’s a pause.
“Well…”
Oh. Ok maybe Yoongi isn’t as nice as he thought he was. But it wasn’t that bad.
“…just considering she wants to leave the group because of it…”
Right. It’s is that bad.
Yoongi’s gaze drops the floor momentarily. He notices his phone that once held his attention now resides ontop of the fluffy carpet beneath his feet, but that’s the least of his concern right now. He feels a little sick and a whole lot embarrassed.
“Did she uh say anything else… about me i mean” He looks everywhere but Jin another wave of embarrassment taking over him as the question leaves his mouth.
Jin cocks his head at Yoongi in clear amusement, Not that Yoongi could catch onto it anyways too caught up in his own mind at the moment.
“How about we discuss this over coffee my treat! I think there’s a way we can sort this all out”
Relishes in knowing he’s your favourite. Yoongi has always carried this certain smugness to him because of it. Yoongi imagines you hold him on a pedestal in your mind. Above Namjoon above Jungkook above them all because Yoongi is your favourite always has been always will be.
Your first.
Your favourite.
Yoongi was 25 when he first realised he was your favourite. You had kissed him the night before you were set to move in with Jungkook on the rooftop of your shared dorm building the sun set and the air cool.
“Yoongi i’m sorry i—”
“Don’t apologise” He tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear your cheeks dust a pretty shade of pink.
Cute.
Yoongi moves his hand away from your face and turns to lean over the balcony eyes now taking in the view of Gangnam after hours.
“How come you’re here? didnt Namjoon want to speak to you or something?”
“Oh uh yeah!”
You’re flustered by the sudden question.
Cute.
“-he did but uh Namjoon can wait… right?”
You play with your hands as you speak your tone of voice anything but confident.
“Right” Yoongi confirms.
Namjoon can wait.
Namjoon will wait.
Sure Yoongi feels a little guilty on keeping Joon waiting but his ego is way too high right now pride practically overflowing.
“You picked me over Namjoon”
He’s giddy body warm with emotion.
“What?”
Yoongi doesn’t respond. He can’t. Not that he heard you anyways, too many thoughts consume him in this moment. He wishes he could stop time. Wishes he could take a photo of this moment wishes he could replay this scene over and over again wishes he could write down the exact words the exact touches you had just exchanged on a piece of paper and hang it in a museum for all to see. Call him psychotic call him insane he’s way beyond caring at this point because this moment right here means everything to him. So long of silently fighting to be at the forefront of your mind and finally an opening.
An opening you had gone out of your way to create for him.
You had picked him.
Yoongi.
Right now over Namjoon.
But Yoongi knows this is just the start. If he plays his cards right, which he will, and successfully roots himself as your first and your favourite.
In his peripheral watches the way you slightly bounce on the balls of your feet.
He knows you’re nervous and he knows he has to take advantage of that. He knows he has to get you hooked to solidify his place as your favourite. He knows he has to-
“Listen Yoongi, if i made you uncomfortable or…”
He turns to face you again.
“Let me kiss you for real this time”
—
6 Months after your shared kiss and one or two (definitely more) ‘casual hookups’ Yoongi is aware you’ve slept with Jungkook that you actively sleep with Jungkook.
Yoongi actually found out you were fucking messing with Jungkook from you yourself. The guilt of sleeping with another man behind Yoongi’s back eating you up so bad that you just had to blurt it out over your shared chinese at 3 AM. Yoongi had assured you that it was fine. I mean it was Jungkook…. Jeon Jungkook like loser Jeon Jungkook who had been telling you he loved you since he was 16 yet the relationship between you unchanging.
Oh, right…
he guesses it has changed now you know, you mess around and stuff. But it’s not like Jungkook is your boyfriend or- …okay so maybe it’s not completely ‘fine’ in Yoongi’s mind that you’re messing around with Jungkook he might be a little jealous but admittedly Yoongi sleeps with other people here and there too he can’t be a hypocrite now!
And it was inevitable, well that’s what he tells himself. You’re both the same age, live in the same house and Jungkook is clearly into you and you—
it doesn’t matter because it was inevitable.
Inevitable yet unchanging of Yoongi’s position as your favourite. That he wants to be is sure of. Because from 9 to 5 to 10 3 or 12 Yoongi is the one you call, work hours he’s the one you bother and after work hours he’s the one occupying your time. Not Jungkook not anyone else just Yoongi, your favourite.
—
When you became close with the members of seventeen Yoongi still stood confident in his position as your favourite. When you went on that date with Mingyu, when those pictures of you and Sungcheol got leaked when you wouldn’t stop talking about that Woozi guy, Yoongi was certain he was still your favourite. Sure he did get into a couple of fights broken a few bones but it was all within reason and definitely not because his position as your favourite felt as if it was being threatened.
Yoongi has always been your favourite
from the moment you gave him the opportunity to be
from the moment you kissed him
from the moments you’ve chosen him over someone else
from Minho to the Seventeen guys to Jungkook you’ve always come back to Yoongi.
Always.
So those 4 1/2 months,not that he was counting, you were with Jaehyun Yoongi for the first time was admittedly worried.
Worried.
So fucking worried.
You suddenly like sand in his hands 4 1/2 months of torture.
Slipping through his fingers.
4 1/2 months of waiting.
Right in front of his eyes.
4 1/2 months of wondering.
Unsure on what to do.
4 1/2 months of doubt.
4 1/2 months of regret.
4 1/2 months of cheap alcohol.
4 1/2 months of unsent messages.
4 1/2 months you sand slipping through his fingers. Yoongi unsure on what to do.
The day you a Jaehyun broke up Yoongi was already one foot out the door but Namjoon told him not go and then Hobi sent a text saying you were with him and then 30 minutes later another saying you were on your way to see… Tae?
You still sand slipping through his fingers but it shouldn’t be like that no not now because Yoongi is your favourite. Your first your favourite and you’re not in a relationship so things should be back to normal but you, still sand slipping through his fingers no- Days pass he thinks about you going to Tae he thinks about you Taehyung and Namjoon, he remembers Hoseok punching Jaehyun sand NO he thinks about valentine’s day you, Seokjin Taehyung slipping through his fingers. Jungkook and you but he is your first so why are you still—
Sand.
Slipping through his fingers.
Why?
It’s not a question of why anymore, is it?
Yes Min Yoongi your first.
But your favourite?
False.
Min Yoongi was never your favourite
but you,
definitely his.
—
some overall context this is from yoongi’s pov so if like points contradict and shit if just representation of how his mind is atm and all that like yeah idk if it translated well lmk :3
Your voice scarily calm and slightly muffled due to the locked door that seperates you both.
“Can we just tal—”
“No. Leave”
“Just let me expla—”
“Don’t make me get Jungkook”
Taehyung scoffs.
“Jungkook? And what’s Jungkook gonna do?”
“Get you to leave. By force. Extreme force”
“He wouldn’t”
He would. Taehyung knows for a fact he would. Jungkook, much like an obedient puppy would do anything you asked of him given the command.
“He couldn’t”
Again Taehyung knows he could. Knowing that his junior, when he wasn’t kissing ur ass and following you around like a loser, spent pretty much most of his free time in the gym. Jungkook would, could and probably will forcefully remove him off your shared property have you say the word.
This time you’re the one to scoff.
“Yeah right”
It seems like you’re aware of that fact that Jungkook would, could and probably will too.
Cool.
Well not cool for Taehyung for.. obvious reasons but cool, he should probably choose his next words wisely before you actually do go and get Jungkook.
cool so…
um…
Actually-
Yeah no…
It’s Blank. His mind is blank.
Fuck. How is he supposed to choose his next words wisely if there are no words, let alone wise ones, to choose from.
Think Think Think
His phone buzzes in his pocket. He ignores it.
“Taehyung”
His frown is immediate.
“Go. home”
See hadn’t you addressed him as Taehyung he might of caught on to the slight saddens in your tone the small waver the hesitance but you had addressed him as such therefore he didn’t.
Instead he replays you saying “Taehyung” over and over in his mind. His frown deepens.
Taehyung. His given name at birth yes. It’s not like he hates his name or anything it’s a nice name he likes it, likes when you say it too just not after fights, never after fights or in your super serious voice either. He much prefers “Tae” The nickname from your lips is like a language only he can understand. From your lips the nickname one thousand words in one.
Sometimes (most) you’ll say it in warning like when he’s taken a joke with Jungkook too far the younger man practically on the verge of tears you’ll give him a pointed look a tight lipped “Tae” and a kick to the shin for good measure. Immediately he’s spewing apologies Jungkook’s way while hopping on one foot in pain.
Other times you say it in concern. Like that one time the group went out for drinks after the release of Butter. He was like 10 shots? in maybe more…. probably more, cheeks beyond flushed staring into space. He can hear everyone happily chatting around him. Are they as drunk as he is right now? He hopes they are he cant be the only one fuck up. But is he really even that fucked up? What does it mean to be fucked up? God knows. Who is God? What is God? Wow life is crazy. Life is great. Taehyung loves life sosososo much actually. Life is good his life is good. He’s so grateful for everything his band mates his life God… maybe God. Wow that was emotional. He could cry right now… is he crying right now? Or is he just really fucked up— “Tae?” It’s like he sobers up almost immediately well… not really but really. Your face in his vision all he now cares about, he puts the drink he didnt even realise he was holding on the table in front of him and nods his head at you answering all the questions you had not outwardly asked.
He likes it when you say it in neediness in want. Your pupils blown, breathing heavy, hair a mess, body bare simply… fucked out if you will. Namjoon, who is sitting behnind you is almost completely forgotten by Taehyung when you without breaking eye contact, voice all whiny and lust ridden call out for him “Tae…” His hands seem to move on their own to eager to comply with what you had so clearly asked from him.
Not that he will admit it but his favourite is when you say you say it in praise. Like that one time you asked him to paint your toenails he had tried to decline not confident in all in his nail painting abilities but you insisted and he can never really say no to you. So when he had finished painting and you went to look your excited “Tae!” and small claps told him everything he needed to know a sheepish smile and a massive sene of pride taking over.
In his most vulnerable moments the nickname from your lips has always been his reassurance. You’ve always said it at the perfect times all the right moments. So that is why Taehyung has never doubted that you most definitely understand the weight the nickname carries he’s 110% sure that you understand that he understood when you had said the nickname when he was 10 shots deep you were asking him if he was ok or when you had that debate about water being wet he understood you said it to let him know that you don’t actually hate him because he thinks it is.
And just now you had called him Taehyung.
In a moment he needed you not to.
You did. On purpose.
The use of his name makes him realise how serious this all is. How upset you really are. How badly he’s fucked up.
“Please call me Tae” He has no right. He knows it too.
He hears movement on the other side of the door. Hope bubbles up in his chest. But as quickly as it comes it goes the feeling of hope is torn from his body as soon as realises that the sound of movement from you on the other side of the door is getting fainter. You’re walking away from him.
“I need you to call me Tae” His voice is louder now. Desperate. You need to hear him.
He needs your reassurance.
He needs to know he can fix this.
That you don’t hate him.
“I need you to call me Tae—”
“Taehyung” No this is the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now. “Taehyung you’re just not—” No. He’s over this. He swears he’s over this. “Taehyung, you’re just not what i thought you’d be” No. His phone buzzes in his pocket a second time. He closes his eyes. He’s in a fancy hotel room in Paris Jennie opposite him. She looks him straight in the eyes. His chest feels tight. “Taehyung” He could throw up “You’re just not what i thought you’d be” Her hand moves to cup his face he jerks from her touch immediately his eyes snap open.
A door.
no
Your door. His eyes flicker to your doorbell. He goes to push it.
buzz
His phone again
buzz
again
buz—
He huffs and pulls the device out his pocket he could have sworn he had put it on dnd.
buzz
The time 8:47 AM and a bunch of mesages from Jimin is what he’s met with.
JIMIN🕴🏻
0/10 ur not wearing a suit
girls dig suits
What?
JIMIN🕴🏻
watching u through the ring app btw :P
don’t ask how i have access to theirs i just do
JIMIN🕴🏻
this would be going better if you wore a suit I’m telling you
wow ur like major loser rn
JIMIN🕴🏻
ok im watching u have a mental breakdown in real time
this lowkey kinda scary do i need to call joon????
JIMIN🕴🏻
DO NOT RING THAT DOORBELL OHMUGOD
THINK ABOUT THIS
WAIT
nvm do it
want to see what happenes
NO DON’T ACTUALLY
oh im gonna throwupppp
UR SO EMBARRASSING DCDHNCKLDHNCED
HELLO
oh u stopped
ur looking at ur phone now
heyyyyy hiiii
TAEHYUNG 🤢
stop watching
JIMIN🕴🏻
i might have to in a second this is kinda a painful watch
maybe you should go home like she asked you to???
tomorrow is another day!!!!
i know i said think about what you have to say but something tells me you haven’t got shit in that head of yours
TAEHYUNG🤢
fuck you
JIMIN🕴🏻
??????
rude
idk why you didn’t just show up in a suit and sing that fucking sappy song you wrote for her
girls go crazy over that kind of stuff
TAEHYUNG 🤢
this is why you get no girls
JIMIN 🕴🏻
that coming from you right now is beyond crazy
TAEHYUNG 🤢
go away and stop fucking watching
JIMIN🕴🏻
no
anyways there’s a key under that flower pot to ur left
very dangerous might i add
but its there
TAEHYUNG 🤢
??????
JIMIN 🕴🏻
idk i like drama
borahae 💜🫰🏻
Before locking his phone Taehyung ensures he puts it on dnd. He looks to his left. The flower pot, the key. He’s conflicted. You had just told him to go home so letting himself in with your spare key probably isn’t the best idea right now. But how else is he going to talk to you? You won’t be opening the door for him again ….but opening it himself is only going to make you even more pissed and thats the last thing he wants right now.
His eyes find the doorbell once more.
He presses it.
Please please please
….
Yeah that didn’t work. He presses it again. That also didnt work. Should he knock? He sighs who is he kidding the only way the door is opening is if he uses that key. At least he tried to be moral about things. He pictures Jimin laughing at him through the camera he shoots the doorbell the middle finger before turning to his left and retrieving the key from underneath the plant pot. Jimin’s right it is dangerous that you a key just laying here. he’ll scold you about that later. he brings the key to the keyhole.
It’s now or never
He unlocks the door.
It’s quiet. That’s the first thing he notices. He closes the door behind him and bends over to take off his shoes. It’s really fucking quiet. Strange. It’s never this quiet in you and Jungkook’s home. He’s walking down the corridor now. The smell of sweet tropical fruits and vanilla takes over his senses. A mix of you and Jungkook, oddly enough he doesn’t hate it. It’s still quiet he’s in your living room now the tv is off and the couch empty. He moves to the kitchen. Again empty, he’s about to leave to check the other rooms when a blue sticky note plastered on the fridge, alongside a picture of… Mingyu? he’s not too sure, catches his eye.
BAM ATE A LEGO (I THINK?) SO GOING TO THE VET WE DIDN’T GET KIDNAPPED PROMISE BE HOME LATER LOVE YOU :D XXXXXXXXX
The handwriting is messy and so obviously Jungkook’s.
“HOLY SHIT-”
Taehyung turns around instantly. He’s met by the sight of you. He takes in your appearance, you wear a white vest and a pair of oversized dark blue sweatpants a pair of black headphones sit on top of your slightly messy hair and you hold a empty bottle of water in your right hand. Now Taehyung is no cannibal but right now he could so eat you—
“OUT GET OUT”
The water bottle that you once held in your had is now thrown in Taehyungs direction. It hits his shoulder with no real force and falls to the ground with a hallow thump.
This was enough to snap Taehyung out of the of temporary trance just your presence alone had put on him.
“H-Hi can we—”
“How the FUCK did you get in? did you kick down our door? PLEASE don’t tell me you kicked our door down”
“What?! no of course i didn’t i used the key”
“What key?”
“The spare one under the—”
“We don’t have spare key”
“What?”
“What?”
“So what is thi—”
“Leave”
“Wait please can i just explai—”
“No leave”
“Can i just—”
“No go home”
“Please I’m begging—”
“Don’t care leave before i get kook”
“Ok well he’s not even here so-”
“He’ll be here soon so you should leave now”
“I’ll leave when he gets here”
“He’s one minute away”
“Then i’ll leave in one minute”
“Fuck you”
With that you turn on your heels and make a b-line to your room.
“Hey can i just—”
Taehyung clumsily follows behind you in an attempt to explain himself.
“How about no”
“Please i just want to apologise and explain i’m sorry and—”
“You made me feel and look like a fucking idiot Taehyung” You stop just outside your door.
He mentally and physically winces and the use of his name in this current situation. He goes to speak but you beat him to it.
“A whole month a stupid fucking song and now more of your weightless words? You can go fuck yourself actually” You turn to face him and to add to insult you jab your finger into his chest before turning back around and walking into you room making sure to slam the door behind you.
Alright a lot to unpack there. Taehyungs first instinct is to follow you into your room knowing there is no lock on you door but the thought is quickly dismissed Taehyung figures since he’s already practically forced himself into you house forcing himself into your room will definitely be the end of him.
So given this realisation Taehyung decides to sit cross-legged facing your door.
He decides to think over the words you had said to him in the last minute, if it was even that, in hopes of planing his next to you.
Get out.
Go home.
Something about a key.
Jungkook.
Stupid fucking song.
The door.
A month.
That’s crazy it really has been a month it took him a whole month to come here and apologise. He leans over a bit so he’s able to rest his elbow on this thigh and his palm over his mouth. A month. He gets your anger he really does.
…..
But wait hold on-
His eyebrows furrow. Stupid fucking song?
“My song wasn’t stupid” It comes out mumbled.
Silence.
“My song wasn’t fucking stupid” He sitting up straight now his voice more confident more certain. “It’s about you, about how i feel about you about us… that isn’t stupid”
“There is no us therefore it is stupid”
Your voice surprises him your soft tone and volume despite your harsh words not something he expected to hear just yet.
“Now you’re lying?”
“What it’s only okay when you do it?”
You got him there he’ll admit it.
“So there is there an us is what you’re saying”
Just not out loud. He knows that you know that he knows you got him there so he guesses it works out anyways.
“Not the point Taehyung”
“I’m sorry”
“Ok”
Yikes.
This is really bad.
He takes a breath.
Deciding to be serious once again.
“You know i’m uh just- so fucking sorry like with the whole lying thing and you kno—”
“STO-”You pause. You hadn’t meant to shout or interrupt his words just making you angrier as he continued.
“Stop” You try again “Stop saying i know, stop assuming i know. I don’t know anything ok? about you about us i think i do and then you just show me how little i know about you about everything”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“Just stop, see had you of just told me Jennie was you ex i would of been fine had you told me Tan was with her it would of been fine”
“No you wouldn’t of-”
“Kissed you? Slept with you a few days after? That’s what you were worried about?”
“No of course not i’m saying that you wouldn’t of realised it was more than that, that you wouldn’t of realised i felt more than sexual feelings for you”
“More than sexual feelings? More? I mean you had me convinced at first i’ll give you that your a good liar”
“I’m not a liar”
“You’ve done nothing but lie to me. if you wanted to get back at your ex you could of just said that”
Taehyung stands at your door now. His fists clenched. In rage? In sadness? In embarrassment? He’s not sure. Emotions of all types practicality race round his body. He once again fights the eurge to enter your room.
“I didn’t use you to get back at her” His voice is soft, calm but in your eyes condescending.
“YOU DI- you did. Taehyung you did and i don’t see any reason for you to lie to me like you did- like you are if you hadn’t used me. AND- and when i asked you in the groupchat after i told you i didn’t use you to get over my ex you couldn’t give me a straight answer if it wasn’t because you wer-ARE using me to get to her what is it?”
“I-I”
“Yeah that what i thought”
“NO-no just give me a minute….”
Be honest just be honest.
“….I couldn’t tell you then and there because i was scared ok? I was scared and it was in front of everyone and i just panicked ok? And since then i’ve mostly just relied on you knowing things… like you knowing what i’m thinking or what i’m feeling, on what i need or want to go from that to having to say i want you, that i love you seriously for once was really fucking scary and i’ve never really been good with words in serious situations so-so i took some time and i wrote the song to say the things i couldn’t then. I-i don’t expect you to just forgive me cuz i wrote one for you but i want it to be a start to let you know i’m serious when it comes to you”
“You… are?”
“Always. I know it might not seem that way cuz of how i am but i swear i am so serious about everything that concerns us…
And about the Jennie stuff this is really silly to admit out loud but i wanted to use her to make you jealous… I didn’t know Jaehyun and you were gonna break up that day or that you were gonna come over but i had planned it out giving Tan to her and casually just dropping into into conversation just to see how you would react to see if i had a chance shitty i know but i was desperate and stupid. I was gonna tell you but then things with us were going so well and i kinda just go caught up in it all i didn’t want you to hate me and i didn’t want any of this to end. Still i that isn’t a valid excuse and despite my fears i should of just told you i’m sorry”
The door clicks open and you step out.
“Taehyu-“
“Call me Tae…” Let me know you don’t hate me “…please”
“Tae”
He smiles.
“I just wanna clarify that i’m not mad that Jennie is in the picture or anything that would be hypocritical of me”
“Hypocritical or not you could be mad… are you mad?”
“Shut up be serious please” You playfully shove him.
“You so are” He giggles “That’s hot”
“No i’m mad you lied about it”
“I know and i’m sorry”
“For stuff like this…. i’m trying to be open and honest with everyone involved you know?”
“I know”
You breathe out a sigh of relief glad that Tae knows where you’re coming from without having to explain any further.
“Ok”
“Ok” Tae’s boxy grin on full display.
He hesitates for a second before saying fuck it mentally and cupping your face with both of his hands.
“Can i kiss you now?”
“I thought you’d never ask”
—
long story story having their relationship being built on pure vibes not words catches up to them and they realise it sorry ending kinda meh but i wasn’t gonna finish this any other way also the whole tae in paris bit at the door is him remembering what jennie said to him #flashbsck i hope you all got that idk if i did that well or not wow this is like the longest offline post yet go me!?
You stare up at the white ceiling. The room is dark you can barely see it.
It’s late. How late?
You turn your head to the left a small digital clock now in view.
11:45 PM
It’s late.
The moment doesn’t feel real.
It’s like you’re here but you’re not here.
Your gaze is on the ceiling again. Your laying on your back, fingers intertwined resting on your stomach. Your mind thinks back to the clock.
The clock, there’s a shift in the covers next to you, that’s not your clock. Your eyebrows furrow, there’s another shift.
Oh
right.
That isn’t your clock. This isn’t your bed. You turn your head to the right. His back is to you. This isn’t your house.
“Jin?”
“Mmh?”
His response is instant. He turns around and cuddles into the side of your body. His head now rests in the crook of your neck. You can feel his breath on your skin. His right arm wraps around your torso.
Suddenly you’re hyper aware of everything. The clothes you wear despite being Jin’s and way too big for you, feel as if they’re tightening around your skin. The room feels busy. Your body is hot. The part of Jin’s body that rests ontop of you feels as if it’s burning.
You tell yourself this is normal. The sharing a bed part, the cuddling part. Ten years of friendship makes this normal, for you guys anyways too many secrets shared too many embarrassing moments witnessed to freak out over such trivial things.
Ten years of friendship.
Friendship?
Today felt like anything but ten years of friendship. He had cooked for you
just for you
on valentine’s day. No questions asked no plans made he just did.
He didn’t know you were coming but still did. For you.
Just for you.
You laughed, danced a little, drank a little, cleaned together, watched a movie and now you’re in bed together.
Just as friends?
No. There was too much tension in the air today, way too much tension. Sure Jin has never really shown any outward romantic interest in you like say Jungkook and Taehyung have but then again not everyone is Jungkook and Taehyung and not everyone shows affection and like Jungkook and Taehyung do.
Maybe you’re overthinking this. No you’re definitely overthinking this. You shouldn’t even be thinking about this.
Not even a full week ago you—
Guilty.
You feel guilty now, real fucking guilty.
You breath quickens. Your mind spiralling.
Taehyung and you just— and what about Jaehyun? Would Yoongi be mad? Is Hobi really ok? You should call Jimin but have you been ignoring Kook? what about Joon?? Isn’t it Jaehyuns birthday today? And Jin—
“Hey”
His voice gentle
concerned.
It brings you out of your spiral almost instantly.
“I’m here, don’t cry i’m here”
You were crying? You hadn’t even noticed.
Jin now sits up on his side, one arm supports his weight the other gently wipes your tears away.
“Breathe with me baby, breathe you can do that f’me can’t you?”
You nod your head not trusting your voice in the moment. Tears cloud your vision. You breathe.
Nothing feels real.
“There you go, doing so well let’s slow down a little yeah? It’s just you and me i got you nothings gonna hurt you i promise”
You wordlessly nod once more and attempt to slow down your breathing.
A few “Good girl”’s and “I’m here”’s later your tears stop and your breathing is back to a somewhat normal pace.
You’re embarrassed.
“I’m sorr—”
“You don’t need to apologise”
Your hands cover your face.
“What’s on your mind?”
It’s such a simple question but it almost brings you to tears once more.
What’s on your mind?
What isn’t?
Who isn’t?
You feel disgusting. Like a whore.
It’s ironic really. You’ve been called a whore for practically your whole career by fans, friends the media sometimes as a joke other times not. But you’ve never really felt like a whore sure you’ve done your fair share of sleeping around couple dates here and there but you’ve never felt as gross as you do now.
What’s on your mind?
You think back to Jin’s question.
“You” Its partly true.
“Me?”
“Yeah”
There a beat of silence.
You’re the one to break it.
“Do you think…
i’m a bad person?”
“I could never think you’re a bad person”
He pauses.
“We could never think you’re a bad person”
“We?”
“The remaining 6 of us i don’t need to name them do i?”
He smiles at you.
You frown, you’re not convinced.
“You don’t know that though”
“I know”
“Even if—”
“Even if. Especially if.”
“What?” You’re caught off guard by his answer.
“You don’t even know what i was gonna say”
“I have my theories”
“Which are?”
“How about we got theory for theory?”
“You’re the one with the theories i’m the one with the facts”
“I guess you’re right”
“I normally am”
“Normally?”
“Yeah…don’t really know if i’ve been doing things right lately”
“Why?”
You sigh.
What do you have to lose?
You look him in the eyes.
now or never
“I-i slept with Taehyung”
“And that wasn’t right?”
“Well it was. It-it felt right it was right but i didn’t just sleep with him it was more than that and-and now i’m here with you...”
“Being with me isn’t right?”
“No! i’m not saying that i’m just saying being with you feels right too and that isn’t right”
Jin doesn’t speak.
“Like i’m feeling things for too many people and that isn’t right”
You’re met with silence again. You feel defeated. You feel stupid. You feel exposed.
“Says who?”
You look at Jin puzzled.
“Well technically no one? but thinking about everyone’s feelings tells me it’s not right”
“Now that’s not right, personally i see no wrong in you feeling right with Tae and me”
“Really?”
“Really”
“You know when i say right i mean feelings? like i mean romantic feelings“
“I know”
He caresses your face.
“I’ve known”
His last sentence hits you hard for some reason. He’s known? He’s known that you were talking about romantic feelings? Or he’s known it’s not just him and Taehyung? Maybe he had known that you never really liked Jaehyun as much as you should have? Perhaps he had known you feel guilty? Known you can barely look yourself in the mirror anymore? Or is it that he had known you almost found yourself at Jimin’s apartment today?
“You don’t owe anyone anything you know that right?”
Your eyes sting. He continues.
“You shouldn’t feel like you have to choose. I would never make you choose. I know you need the other members as much as they need you as much as i need you. If being with them feels right as much as it feels right being with me who am i to deny you?”
There’s so much you could say right now. So many things you want to say, to ask. You open your mouth to speak but the words don’t seem to find you.
You bite your lip, tears spot your vision once more. You’ve cried an awful lot today first tears of guilt and now tears of sadness? Or perhaps it’s relief? You’re unsure.
Just like you’re unsure on whether this moment is real or not. Unsure if you’re even here. Unsure if this is right.
You can barely make out Jin’s figure between your watery vision and the darkness of the room. His hand now strokes your hair.
“Thank you” The only words you’re able to say. You don’t even know what you’re thanking him for or if you’re even thanking him.
“Thank you” You repeat. The only words that feel right to say in this moment.
He kisses your forehead “Let’s get some sleep yeah?”
—
1.3k words of pure shit my fault guys 😅🤗
if it wasn’t clear this was valentine’s day here for context
!gc namjoon who has never experienced peace since joining the group
!gc namjoon who feels like being in the group has aged him 50 years
!gc namjoon who despite this would rather drop dead than have not met all of you
!gc namjoon who knows every single member like that back of his hand
!gc namjoon who often worries his members find him boring
!gc namjoon who forced everyone to download life 360 while on tour because you all wouldn’t stop getting lost and it was stressing him out
!gc namjoon who has a fun fact about everything like fr everything its kinda crazy
!gc namjoon who still to this day checks the life 360 app (that thank god none of you have deleted) every morning afternoon and night to make sure everyone is safe
!gc namjoon who has now reconsidered his position on having kids if parenthood is anything like looking after his members you can count him out actually!
!gc namjoon who on one random night in 2017 went to an equally random art gallery on his own “impulsively” and definitely NOT because you briefly mentioned you needed “artsy guy” in your life
!gc namjoon who after the “impulsive” art gallery trip which he actually did enjoy way more than he expected to seemed to have a complete personality shift finding interest and beauty in the smaller and simpler things in life
!gc namjoon who won’t admit this out loud but one of the reasons he hasn’t learnt how to drive yet is because he enjoys the fact that you drive him everywhere, you’ve even given him the silly little nickname of “number one passenger princess” that makes him feel all giddy inside
!gc namjoon who always puts his members first
!gc namjoon who wouldn’t of minded having you as his roommate but when 21 year old jungkook came to him all puppy eyed and nervous asking namjoon if you would like the idea of living with him all joon could do was smile “that’s a great idea kook! i’m sure she’d love it”
!gc namjoon the most patient man you know
!gc namjoon who buys you flowers for every single major holiday without a fail
!gc namjoon who once set you and jungkook’s kitchen on fire
!gc namjoon who has almost asked you to be his girlfriend a total of 5 times so far
!gc namjoon a true gentleman and romantic at heart
!gc namjoon who gets so upset when you refer to him as RM whether it’s a joke or work related it’s joon to you always and forever
!gc namjoon who for every piece of artwork in his home from paintings to poem books can relate said artwork to one of his members, he finds comfort in collecting pieces that remind him of his favourite people
!gc namjoon who genuinely freaks out if the group chat isn’t active at least once everyday
!gc namjoon who went through a really intense gym phase and would genuinely force all his members to wake up at 6 am and go on runs with him. however the whole group run thing only ended up lasting around 3 days turns out yoongi is really not a morning person and jimin surprisingly was (at the time) and that does not mix well !! long story short yoongi punched the shit out of jimin while tae recorded, you and jin laughed, hoseok was on the brink of passing out, jungkook was crying… for some reason? and namjoon was stressed safe to say group runs or work outs never happened again after that and namjoons intense gym bro lifestyle slowly mellowed itself out
!gc namjoon the groups designated decision maker no matter how small all large the issue what joon decides is right and final an unspoken agreement between the members
!gc namjoon who often wonders how you all put so much trust in his words and decisions honestly it scares him a little a LOT
!gc namjoon who hates boba
!gc namjoon who allows you to meal prep for him, he thanks the lord you do this for him actually saving him from having to cook for himself most days
!gc namjoon who is really good a board games
!gc namjoon who talks in his sleep
!gc namjoon who is quite a traditional man
!gc namjoon who doesn’t believe in hookup culture, flings and friend’s with benefits
!gc namjoon who prefers cute dates, long walks and sharing interests
yet !gc namjoon who lets you lead him into an empty room away from the obnoxiously loud party thrown for jungkooks 24th(?) birthday
!gc namjoon who from then on lets you steal kisses from him
moments with him
!gc namjoon who doesn’t believe in “casual”
!gc namjoon who can’t do “casual”
!gc namjoon who is aware of his feelings and of everyone’s feelings
!gc namjoon who knows his members like the back of his hand
he knows their realising their own feelings
each others too
he knows jaehyun was a wake up call not just to him but to everyone
!gc namjoon who knows he’s running out of time
!gc namjoon who wishes he was selfish
wishes he was an asshole
a self serving piece of shit
who wishes he could just shout from the rooftops how utterly obsessed and fuck he’ll admit it at this point in love with you he is
he wishes that he could love you without hurting others
!gc namjoon who has become a casual in your life
a casual kiss
a casual fuck
a casual dinner
casual moments
!gc namjoon who has become accustomed to being your romantic casual because despite initially not believing in the concept namjoon is more than willing to throw away all his morals and beliefs if it means he gets to have you hold him for a night, kiss him for a night, be with him for a night
namjoon is willing to do pretty much anything and everything to be a part of your life, a temporary go to, name it and he’ll fill that role no questions asked
“No” You’re lying and you’re pretty sure Namjoon knows you’re lying too but he hums in acknowledgment anyways.
It’s late like past 12 AM late yet you find yourself laying on the grass of Mr Kim Namjoon’s not so surprisingly large garden with the main man himself. You don’t know how long the both of you have been laying there and quite frankly you don’t even want to know today’s been- well correction yesterday’s been an… off day a unproductive day a useless day. You blink up at the stars that decorate the pretty black sky and you could swear they blink back.
“Think it’s about you”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm definitely”
“Cool”
There’s a pause. Silence. Not comfortable but not awkward either. Just silence. You’re tired Namjoon’s tried you know you should head inside Namjoon knows you should head inside yet you both remain unmoving from the grassy floor. You don’t need to turn your head to know he’s deep in thought
thinking
realll fucking hard at that, and at this point he might as well be thinking out loud. It’s like you can hear the cogs turning in his mind hear the questions he’s yet to ask.
You itch to turn and ask him to verbalise his thoughts you have answers of course you have answers. Answers you’ve been sure of for a while now, answers you’ve practiced giving, answers you’ve gone over and over in your head, answers you once tried to deny, answers that no matter how far you try and push them away they come back stronger and truer than before answers you just want to scream out.
The itch to ask grows and grows and after a several moments you find yourself almost taking up the screaming out option but
breathe
it’s like the silence interrupts you. Not comfortable not awkward. The silence you’d both created tells you to wait.
You close your eyes and rest you hands on your stomach.
Silence.
You let out a deep sigh.
The air is thick.
Silence.
You swallow.
Silence.
You begin to heat up
Silence.
You fidget.
Silence.
You’re still.
Silence.
You feel his eyes on you.
“Is it?”
The silence no more. “Your ex wrote a song about—”
“Us”
“Us?” His eyes widened yours remain closed.
“Valentine’s day you brought me roses early in the morning he was there”
“What?”
“Not physically, of course, but on the phone was talking about collecting our things from each other when you knocked”
“On valentine’s day of all days?”
“His timing has never really been the greatest”
“Is that why you didn’t ask me to come in?”
“I don’t normally ask, you just come in”
“Yeah but… that day. I wanted you to ask” it’s a loaded answer so loaded it’s practically overflowing with meaning.
“That day. I wanted you to ask”
“Oh….
A pause
“If i had kno—”
“You couldn’t of”
“But if—”
“You couldn’t of simple as that a fault on both our parts it’s in the past now”
“But- right… You’re right”
“It’s rare when i’m not”
“You sound like Jin”
“Or does Jin sound like me?”
He lets out a small laugh and you finally open your eyes and face him.
Namjoon smiles and blinks at you twice endeared you can’t help but blink back. The crinkles by his eyes is what you notice first, genuine admiration behind them your eyes flicker down to his plump pink lips you imagine how they feel slotted against your own. From what you can remember out of the handful of times you’ve kissed Namjoon you know that his kisses are slow. Namjoon likes to savour his kisses, his kisses are perfect… well almost perfect they lack…. commitment per say it’s like he doesn’t give himself fully in the moment he hesitates holds back. You wonder if you were to press your lips onto his in this very moment he’ll hold back like he’s done many times prior or this time will he surprise you? Perhaps he’ll give you everything he has to offer and more. You peel your eyes off of his lips and look at his face again fully. The moonlight paints him blue.
Blue.
Namjoon has always been blue to you. When you had first met Namjoon he had been blue like the ocean. So big, so scary, so exciting, so much you didn’t know but so much you needed to. Then for a major chunk of your life Namjoon was sky blue day or night Namjoon was the sky. He was the support that helped the sun like Hoseok shine bright and the canvas that allowed the stars like Jungkook to twinkle just that extra bit lighter. But in 2021 the year you felt his soft lips on yours for the first time, the year you looked at Namjoon with more than just curiosity and awe Namjoon became moonlight blue. Seeing Joon in this light was different. Seeing Joon as more than support was different seeing him as more than a guide, a leader was different a good different. Seeing Joon as moonlight blue allowed you to see him. Kim Namjoon openly, honestly and truly. Painting him as the moon made you feel things. Having seen him unclothed, bare vulnerable made you feel things. Having seen Namjoon up close, having seen the small and the big things first hand makes you feel things. You only wish you had painted him as the moon, as moonlight blue, much sooner because fucking hell moonlight suits him, very much so.
“Roses”
His voice reels in your wondered mind.
“Hm?” You’re dazed you almost forget what he’s even referencing.
“You knew the song was about roses but didn’t listen to it?”
Ah the song. Jaehyun.
You bite back a smile “Maybe i lied”
“Could of fooled me”
“Now you’re lying”
“Learnt from the best didn’t i?”
This time it’s you who laughs while Namjoon watches just as amused.
But the moment is short lived and as quickly and his smile finds him it leaves you notice almost instantly and bring your airy laugh to an end. Namjoon looks at you charming eyes full of question you raise you eyebrows in return.
“I know it’s in the past like you said but had i asked what would of happened”
“A lot on your mind tonight huh?”
“How could there not be… but please”-he swallows-“humour me this once”
“Humour you?” you go to tilt your head but seeing as you’re now laying on your side facing Joon it’s a bit awkward to do so.
Namjoon says no words in reply but looks at you with hopeful eyes.
“Ok i’ll humour you, had you of asked i would of let you in”
“But didn’t you have plans with Jin? I would have gotten in the way” He says matter of factly.
“I would of invited you”
It’s subtle how his face falls but you notice it all the same.
“Ok but what if- what if i asked you to cancel on Jin”
“Namjoon…”
“Humour me… please” The desperation in Namjoon’s please is almost overbearing. You know the answer he wants.
“I-I would call Jin and ask if we could reschedule if he was ok with it we would done what you wanted”
“And if he wasn’t?” He’s holding onto hope.
You take a deep breath.
“With or without you i would gone to see him like planned”
Namjoon’s eyes flash hurt he goes to speak but his words don’t seem to find him.
“Namjoon-”
“I thought we were-” Having a moment. Getting somewhere.
“And we are! We are but it’s…. all of—”
“I just thought that- nevermind”
“I’m sorry”
“You don’t have to be” he whispers “You don’t have to be i just think… that i need time to think you know about… that”
Your chest tightens as you nod.
“Yeah okay no i get that we-“
“But right now- and sorry if this crazy to ask and sorry to interrupt you but could- can i just.. take this moment for me? can i um…kiss you?”
Your throat is dry as you nod.
“Yeah” Your voice almost a whisper “Of course you can”
His eyes widened like he wasn’t expecting you to say yes and that upsets you a little.
“But this.. isn’t goodbye right?” The words leave your mouth before you can even begin to process them.
“I—”
Too ebarrassed you cut him off “Never mind i just- i didn’t mean to- you can-kiss me just.. kiss me” Your eyes feel as if they are burning staring back at his “…please”
And as much as you try to push it to the back of your mind as Namjoon places his warm palm to you cheek and leans in you can only wonder if this is the last time you get to witness him in the colour moonlight blue.
