I know you're using the tumblr as well, so Thomas, if you're reading this:
Whatever your "high visionary" tells you, it's not true. You were a good boyfriend, and a good husband, and then a good father. Tommy misses you still. You're a good man, you're funny, and cute, and one of the kindest people I've ever met. Why else would I love you, if you're not good and kind?
You don't need to be fixed! I did want you to go to therapy, I did think it could help you, but that's only because I see how much [redacted] is still troubling you. And that's fine, Thomas. We all have demons to fight, there's no shame in getting help, I'm looking into therapy too. But if your leader is giving you panic attacks, that's not good, that's not normal. If he really loved you, he wouldn't be hurting you like this. Anyone deserves better than that, you deserve better.
You don't have to reply, just– come back, darling Thomas. It's never too late, our porch light's always on. There are still people who love you outside, waiting for you.