I DID NOT TELL HER TO KILL HERSELF. I WAS SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING MYSELF. ANYTHING. I TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS BUT IT ALL CAME BACK LIKE A WAVE. ALL THE MEMORIES, THE OLD PATTERNS, EVERYTHING.
OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS BORDERLINE ABUSIVE. I DID NOT FEEL LOVED. I DID NOT FEEL LISTENED TO. AND OUR FRIENDSHIP, IF YOU COULD CALL IT THAT, WAS NOT MUCH DIFFERENT.
SHE NEVER LISTENED TO ME, SHE NEVER ONCE TOOK MY ADVICE, AND EVERY TIME I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF SHE IMMEDIATELY SAID I HATED HER.
MY HEART HAD BEEN PRODDED AND TORN OPEN ENOUGH WITH MY ALL MY EXES ATTEMPTING SUICIDE. I DIDNT WANT HER TO BE ANOTHER "CRAZY EX". I WANTED HER TO LEAVE HAPPY, CHANGED.
BUT SHE NEVER LISTENED TO ME AND WHAT SHE SAYS ABOUT HERSELF TRIGGERS ME.
SO TRY SENDING ME TO JAIL, TRY.