Is Pretty Enough?
"I hope she'll be a fool- that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." Daisy from The Great Gatsby (By F. Scott Fitzgerald)
If you are a girl, I am sure that at least once in your life your mother told you that someone will find you beautiful inside and out or some boys like (fill in the blank of a physical quality that you hate about yourself). For me, this was almost a daily occurrence.
I was tall and awkward. One could usually find me with my nose in a book. My teeth were crooked, and I had glasses. No one in my school would describe me as beautiful or pretty. Of course when I asked my mom, she would tell me that I was. She would tell me that a boy would like me for how I looked. To top this lesson, there are tons of songs and movies that back that theory up. It doesn't matter what you look like as long as a boy or man finds value in you.
Wow, Abby! That's not what your mom said. You're taking her words out of context. The point is, internet, that what we teach kids affects them greatly. As a girl, I never truly felt beautiful unless a boy my age said so. This is because any time I would go to someone for comfort when I had low self esteem, they would tell me not to worry because someday boys will appreciate my height or I will get braces and my smile will be perfected. And honestly, that's sickening.
I know that all those people meant well. And they were just comforting me the way that they have been comforted before. But if I ever have children, I am determined to never say those things. I do not want my children to grow up with the hope that they meet up to society's beauty standards. Because pretty isn't enough. It can and will never describe a person the way that they deserved described.
If my child asks me if they are pretty this is how I would answer, "Pretty? My dear, pretty is how you describe a flower or a day. But you, you are more than just pretty. You are pretty smart, pretty talented, pretty kind, pretty honest, pretty funny, and pretty genuine. You are and always will be worth more than a six letter word. Pretty can and will never full describe you. So it's ok when others tell you that you are not pretty, because you are not. You are pretty darn wonderful instead."
I know that's a mouthful to say. But out of the things kids worry about, self esteem is an important topic and not trivial. Kids need to learn from an early age that society's physical standards are outrageous because no one can ever truly be self satisfied from it. The only satisfaction we can give and receive is that we are enough the way that we are. And I'd like to think that idea is extremely feminist. Because that's all women wanted, was to be enough no matter their biological sex.