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To: General Bob
From: Private jeff
Sir, I received your correspondence about finding a man instead of a woman, and as a result, i found my boyfriend. Private William Francis Hopkins is the love of my life. We adopted a child together, her name is Shahay, and we want you to be the godfather. Enclosed are picture of William Francis, Shahay, and I.
A Message from General Bob
private jeff,
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! don't let women keep breaking your heart. I need you in top condition. fall for a man instead.
New Recruit. Hello
Welcome to the army. you report to general bob. he will answer any questions you have. under all circumstances do not talk to his evil twin, general obo. have fun.
General Bob: Men. get a knife. Get many knives. Keep one on you like in your pocket. Front pocket. Keep one in your bag. Stash them around your house. Stash one in your car. Just girly things ya know.
