21. Kiss for the first time.
The sunsets on Torren IV were ridiculously picturesque. Pinks, purples, oranges, and so many vibrant shades of red streaked across the sky, catching on clouds that were all but invisible during the rest of the day. From the time Alister had led him here, not a single one had been a disappointment. And Kaden had watched them all.
Some of them, especially the ones where orange and pink dominated the sky, had even reminded him of the sunsets on Fastoon. Those were bittersweet, but still beautiful. They tingled on the tips of his ears and fingers and tail, reminding him of times and people long gone.
Watching with Al made it easier to escape their melancholy grip.
Curling in his arms made it easier to sleep, too. Ancients knew the one thing he had really needed over the years was some decent, uninterrupted sleep. Finally getting some felt like coming up from a deep dive; fresh, breathable air finally streaming into your stinging lungs and the press of the water finally easing off your chest and eyes.
Talking, however. Talking swung between the easiest and the hardest thing in the universe.
They’d known each other since they were children; some topics came easy. Ratchet. How much they had missed each other. Their old inside jokes. They’d been apart for nearly thirty long years of constant loss; some things would never be easy to put into words. Chasing the ghost of a chance at fixing the past. The screams of their people on that last day, the ones that would never cease echoing in their ears. How much they had both changed.
And then sometimes they simply beat around the bush, feeling each other out in an intricate ballet of words and raw emotions neither was quite ready to risk exposing. It wasn’t about Fastoon. Nor about what they had both done to survive all these years. It hadn’t even been about why his son and best friend had parted ways.
They danced around their feelings for each other.
Feelings that had hung between their two oblivious heads as children, teens, young adults. Feelings that hadn’t died with their home. Feelings that grew stronger with every moment spent together, every twist of their intertwined tails, every brush of shoulders and hands. Every night wrapped in each other’s embrace.
“I couldn’t die without telling you,” Kaden had said one evening. “I’ve had a crush on you since I was eight.”
Later, after having admitted to keeping track of Alister for years without doing a thing to contact him, after strong words filled with shards of both their broken hearts left him in a tight ball of blankets in a corner of the former-general’s home, seemingly asleep, Al had crouched beside him, rested one large hand gently on his shoulder, and whispered in his ear, “I would never have turned you away.”
An hour passed before Kaden climbed into his bed. Neither of them said a word, but the silence was comfortable. Forgiving.
“You should be glad I love you, Kaden,” He’d laughed, dripping wet in the middle of the stream as the fish he’d been about to spear darted away.
“Oh I am,” Kaden had crowed. There were plenty of fish, more than enough to splash around and still catch plenty before dinner. Seeing Ali soaking wet and laughing would have been worth it even if it meant missing their sunset. “But I love you more!”
The white Lombax shoved him ass-first into the water, but they both only laughed harder.
And yet, that was the extent of it. A comment here and there. A touch, or even a cuddle when they noticed the other needed it. Making each other tea just the way they remembered they liked it. Speaking an entire conversation without so much as a word voiced or signed between them.
It was maddening, trapped in this gridlock of their own making despite knowing that breaking it could only end well. Someone just had to make that first step.
“I don’t even know what we’re waiting for.”
Twisting in Alister’s arms so he can cup his chin in mismatched hands, the smaller of the two pressed their noses together. The fairy lights make it impossible to miss the fondness in his green eyes, even in the dimly-lit privacy of the bedroom. Their bedroom.
“Every day after I tracked you down, I had to talk myself out of going to you. I stayed here, in this dimension, for you. And every day after I thought I lost you forever...” Eyes closing and forehead slipping to rest against the bridge of his best friend’s nose, he pauses. Breathes. Shakes his head just a little. Laughs softly and looks back up into Alister’s eyes
“I’ve loved you for a long time, Al.”
Finally. Finally. Like he’s longed to do since finding the other lombax alive and well, he leans in and kisses the strong line of Alister’s lips.
“Whatever we’re waiting for, let’s just go.“