#gentle polyam affirmation

[polyamproud]

Hi, we’ve missed you 🖤 Here’s a think for our fellow polyam lovelies: the notion that you’re desiring or practicing polyamory in “the wrong way” or that you’re not “truly polyamorous” is a deeply monogamous notion. A “right/wrong” approach to relating is a subjective binary imposed on us by mono-normative thinking and systemic monogamy. Throw this thinking away. You’re relating “right” if you and your partner(s) are consenting to the relationship and doing your best to be open and honest with yourselves and each other. That applies in monogamy, polyamory, and everything in between. Throw away every other script you’ve been taught to follow and write your own.  Instead of binary questions, ask yourself questions that live up to the dynamic approach to life and love you’re experiencing. For example: “What do want and what do i have space for?” “What am i doing to show my partner(s) i care about them?” “How can i ensure my intentions are understood?”

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[Image Description: A single square image with a white background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. Black text highlighted in pink reads “gentle polyam affirmation: ”, followed by bold black text which reads “trust yourself. the style of non-monogamy that”, directly followed by italicized black text which reads “feels”, directly followed by more black text which reads “best to you”, directly followed by italicized black text which reads “is”, followed by more black text which reads “best for you.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin pink line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in black. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in pink.

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[polyamproud]

Ask yourself—if you were monogamous, would you be holding yourself to the same unsustainable standard of perfection to which you’re holding yourself now? Your polyamory certification card won’t be revoked because you can’t be in two places at once. Your enm pedigree isn’t at risk if you’ve made a choice that caused someone in your polyam constellation to feel hurt. You’re still polyamorous if you’re too exhausted to manage your emotions. Even if it’s hard to believe it today, you are worthy of the love you seek. 

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[Image Description: A single square image with a pink background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. Black text highlighted in white reads “gentle polyam affirmation: ”, followed by bold white text which reads “you won’t always be able to meet your and your partners’ needs.” Followed directly by bold black text which reads “that doesn’t mean you’re bad at polyamory.” Followed by bold white text which reads “it means you’re human.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin black line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in black. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in black.

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[polyamproud]

Give yourself permission to recharge your emotional batteries. You may need to take a break from emotional conversations today to be a better, more compassionate partner tomorrow

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[Image Description: A single square image with a pink background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. Black text highlighted in white reads “gentle poly affirmation: ”, followed by white text which reads “it’s okay that you don’t have the space to be your partners’ emotional support system today.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin black line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in black. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in black.

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[polyamproud]

Prioritize your comfort. You do not owe a partner access to anything simply because of another partner’s access.

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[Image Description: A single square image with a white background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. Pink text highlighted in black reads “gentle polyam affirmation: ”, followed by black text which reads “you are absolutely allowed to have different boundaries with different partners.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin black line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in black. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in black. 

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[polyamproud]

Replacing your jealous feelings with compersion isn’t just a simple swap. As children, we had to learn what each emotion was as it came up. It took us years to be able to recognize them, identify them, name them, parse them. Most of us still struggle to do it. If you only just learned about compersion, how can you expect yourself to recognize it or even access it at all? Treat yourself with the compassion with which your partners treat you. You’re worth the effort.

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[Image Description: A single square image with a pink background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. Black text highlighted in white reads “gentle polyam affirmation: ”, followed by bold white text which reads “compersion is a skill. it takes practice, but you’ll get the hang of it.” Followed directly by bold black text which reads “be patient with yourself while you learn.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin black line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in black. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in black.

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[polyamproud]

Your polyamorous identity doesn’t make you a how-to guide for anyone. If you have the space to talk friends, family, or the bozo you just matched with on tinder about your experience, that’s awesome. Just consider this a peaceful reminder that you’re allowed to decline questions about your identity. In fact, feel free to send them our way instead and let us do that work for you.

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[Image Description: A single square image with a black background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. White text highlighted in pink reads “gentle polyam affirmation: ”, followed by bold white text which reads “you are not responsible for teaching people about non-monogamy.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin pink line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in pink. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in pink.

End ID.]

[polyamproud]

The only people in your life that need to know you’re polyamorous are yourself and your partners. Disclosing and displaying your polyamory to others is absolutely your choice. And tomorrow? Out or not, it’s your day. you’re with us. You are not alone! ~image description below~

[Image Description: A single square image with a black background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. White text highlighted in pink reads “gentle poly affirmation: ”, followed by pink text which reads “it’s your choice whether and how quickly you share your polyamorous identity with acquaintances, friends, and family.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin pink line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in pink. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in pink. End ID.]

[polyamproud]

Relationships are hard work. go easy on yourself today! No one is a perfect partner! We know the dangers of comparison—that comparing yourself and your metamour/soso won’t serve anyone. Comparing yourself today to a past self or imaginary future self is no different. We are dynamic creatures. We have good days and bad days. Comparisons like these are reductive and unkind to the most important person in your life—you. instead of punishing yourself for a mistake you made today, show yourself kindness, grace, and compassion. Recognize that you’re doing your best. And don’t be afraid to ask for the same from your partners. They’re on your team, too. ~image description below~

[Image Description: A single square image with a black background. All text is in lowercase letters and left-aligned. White text highlighted in pink reads “gentle poly affirmation: ”, followed by white text which reads “doing your best in your relationships doesn’t mean doing the best you’re capable of on your best day—it means”, and pink text which reads “doing the best you’re able to today.” In the bottom right corner is a short, thin pink line for aesthetic purposes. Beneath the line is the “@polyamproud” watermark in pink. Beside the watermark is the polycule symbol in pink. End ID.]