an in-character letter from avernus to amethyst
You don't realize it, but you have given me many reasons to thank you. Ever since we've met (well, not we, more of the future Top 1 contenders and half of the current Top 10), I've been more...inspired, to say. There really is this charm of finding someone that feels like an equal match.
It might be too early for me to pour my heart out to you, and for that I apologize in advance. However, I also believe that we have laid ourselves bare (metaphorically, of course! I could never!) when we had that small conversation in that meetup.
You asked me something- you! You, a future Top 1, conversing with me? Something truly unbelievable! Anyway, you asked me something about whether we should support players (challengers, you called them) who wanted to bet on who would be the next levels to enter the list.
I had to disagree with you there- it really shouldn't be a bet! Betting makes it seem like levels are objects to trade, not their own beings. I disagreed with you, and we really duked it out! I'm pretty sure we kind of resigned ourselves to one corner just to discuss that!
And you know what? That meant something to me. I once asked myself who would notice the garbage in the corner. It was you. You saw the garbage in the corner and in it, you found your treasure. You took the time to talk to me.
That conversation really stuck with me. It was as if finally- finally! I felt like a level equal to all of you. I know how great you are; I am even intimidated by it. Yet in this intimidation, I pause and remember how patient you were, even when we disagreed. I remember how considerate you were to talk to me when I tried to hide in a corner and shrink myself.
It's ridiculous, I know. It's probably just a regular meeting to you, but to me? It really did prove my worth. You might not believe it, but you became such a source of inspiration for me.
And when I saw you happy about the fact any of you could be Top 1 or at least on the list? I didn't feel threatened. I wasn't scared. I saw your pure, unbridled joy amidst everyone else's, and it clung to me, that sweet sound of your laughter and your "yes!".
That's growth. In the past, I would be threatened by that. I would try to overtake anyone who matches me, yet you taught me not to do that. Such a small conversation, and it changed me so much.
I wonder now, what kind of things change you? What moves your heart and fills you with warmth? That is a story for another day, another letter, if we interact more. For now, please have this, and maybe this can be the start of a bond.
ooc tagging: @yumewayuki beloved irl mutual, you know what inspired this
