So much..
Guess I never really saw the delusions for what they were. I couldn’t see so many things. Just how much can I daydream, without seeing the hear and now. Maybe I live to tell about it. In this vastness that I know is out there, all I have is this window. And through the distance of all that's before me. I guess I begin to lose sight. I can’t make the tree lines, from the clouds, from the buildings. It’s just a haze. I’ve always seen everything this way. To some lesser degree. I don’t know if this is making any sense. I’m alone. That I can see.This much. I know. Your alone. Right here, right now. In my thoughts with me, alone, single, just you. It’s cold away from the sun. In this moment that you're alone. The subtle shades of the void start to inthrowl and crowd over you. Till they caress, and suck all that you feel with it. You're right, it doesn’t make any sense. Somehow I don’t think it has to. It won’t even matter after the moment has past. Funny how things are so. Funny how having nothing, and no one can make you feel. It’s amazing. Everyone should feel this. Comfort. So foreign to me. Embrace, warm. Wrapped away in all its good intention. It’s been so long. From younger days. A childhood of running, laughing and playing. Just where have those days gone. Just where are the former times. Where have they all gone. Is this are perception? Is it an innocent heart. Not yet plucked and toiled. Corrupted by all, so very much, and all, that our eyes do see. If a tide would rush in, just cover me. If out of me, a tide would come. I’m not sure of these things that I feel. So much. So little. To only be sure, that I am uncertain of everything. Is it time? As if disfigured and fragmented into what it was once before. That time has grown older, that it has forgotten former days. Longer summers. School yards. Is it the sun? Perhaps rushed. The moon? Sleepless it has become. The stars, forgetting the distance from my hands to theirs. So far above. I just want to be honest, and I hope thats me, just being honest. I can’t tell anymore. One way, or the other. Coming, or going? Trying to find so many reasons, that it matters. A clean heart. A boundless mind to sail.. to fly.. to run and play in all my daydreams. To ride the fence lines, searching for some meaning. Meaning in something so small. So distant. So confused. So much, - me.
- Geo Rodriguez.