I'm learning German and I have a bit of a random question (mostly because of your Klavier posts lol)... Which pronoun would you use to refer to someone who is nonbinary? Would it be es/it? Is referring to a person with 'es' feel as dehumanizing/disrespectful as in English? Is there maybe a neo-pronoun that's gaining some traction for this?
Or if you have a link/book to recommend to read up more on this, I'd love that as well/instead!
(Also, I'm enjoying learning German. I need to grind more on it but it's also great for getting me to refresh/relearn English grammar. lmao)
hello!!
first off, yes the german "es" is equivalent to the english "it", so definitely don't use it for people unless you know it's their actual used pronoun! (like it is in my case 😎)
we do not yet have an officially recognized gender neutral pronoun for people. i know several german nonbinary people who use no pronouns at all, many (again like me) who just use the gendered pronouns we do have, but i also see more and more neopronoun users!
the first neopronoun i remember seeing in german spaces was xier (possessiv xies, dativ xiem, akkusativ xien). lately i have also seen a Lot of "dey" users, inspired by the english "they" and then adorned with german grammar rules: possessiv deren. dativ denen, akkusativ demm.
bottom line is there is no official nonbinary pronoun in german, nor is there a classic that most would go for. whenever i personally don't know someone's pronouns but need to talk about them, i try to just use their name.
but! things are in motion. http://neopronomen.nrw/ is a website provided by the state of north rhine westphalia (our most populated and also gayest) (also im here), it's an in-browser unity-powered duolingo-style practice application to learn neopronoun grammar. i really like it :]
and im always happy to hear people have fun learning german <333 viel Erfolg und weiter so!
Is Klavier Gavin German? Is he just pretending? Who knows! I’m not here to tell you your headcanons! But I am here to say that Klavier’s in-game German (at least in AA4, I’m not touching the other games) is nearly entirely correct, so he must have some knowledge of the language. You don’t? Well I’m here to help! I’m German from a mostly German family, I have lived here for 27 of my 30 years, and I work with GER-ENG translations.
I’ve put together a whole bunch of either things I’ve seen around the fandom and would like to correct, or things I just figure might be useful for fic writers, comic writers, et cetera. If there is anything else you would like to know that isn’t in this post, feel free to drop me an ask! I’m by far not an expert on all things German, but I’ll answer to the best of my abilities.
Lastly, if this seems like way too much effort for writing about gay lawyers and you’d rather keep using Google Translate, I genuinely, wholeheartedly, cannot and do not want to stop you. German is a silly and difficult language and fanworks are supposed to be fun. If any snooty German ever gets on your case about whatever Klavier said in your work, eat them.
Now! The rest of this post will be under the cut, but here is a quick summary of what I’ll be getting into:
basics and useful phrases
du oder Sie? informal versus formal you
pet names for everyone
ways to say I love you
swearing
the thing about lederhosen
other fun things for writing German Klavier
basics
“Herr” – You’ve seen Klavier use this, and he uses it correctly. Herr means Mister and is used for any male adult you’re being formal with. It’s paired with last names (or shiny foreheads).
“Frau” – The female equivalent for Herr.
“Fräulein” – Sigh. You’ve seen Klavier use this as well. It means Miss. He... uses it correctly, I guess. The thing is, German women do not like being called Fräulein. It sounds immediately condescending. I call my cat Fräulein when she misbehaves. Klavier gets away with it in Japanifornia because nobody knows but if he called a German woman Fräulein she would punch his teeth out. I’m telling you. He can do it, he does do it, I write him doing it, but I just want you to know. If you ever meet a German woman. Do not call her this.
“ja/nein” – yes/no. Easy! An English “yeah” could be “joah” or “jaah” and “nah” would be “nee” or “nö.”
“nicht?/nicht wahr?” – You can put this at the end of sentences you would end on something like huh?, hm?, eh? “Nicht” means not, “wahr” means true.
“richtig?/oder?” – Kind of the same idea. “Richtig” means right, “oder” means or. Goes on the end of sentences when you’re checking something.
“keine Ahnung” – No idea!
“hallo” – Take a wild guess!
“guten Morgen” – Good morning.
“guten Tag” – Literally good day, used as a more formal greeting than “Hallo” during the day.
“guten Abend” – Good evening.
“gute Nacht” – Good night.
“schlaf schön/gut” – Both mean sleep well.
“tschüss” – Bye, fairly informal.
“auf Wiedersehen” – Kind of an “until we meet again,” used as a more formal goodbye.
“auf Wiederhören” – A formal goodbye for phone conversations! Until we hear each other again.
“bis gleich/bis bald” – see you soon; the first is for short periods of time. We all constantly argue over what that means of course, but generally it should still be on the same day. In the second one, “bald” literally means soon, so it’s... whenever.
“guten Appetit” – I’m so sad English doesn’t do this. Every day. The tragedy. It’s German bon appetit! It’s sweet. Klavier should say it.
“danke” – Thank you. “Danke sehr/vielen Dank” then mean thanks a lot, “tausend Dank” is a thousand thanks, but that’s. A lot.
“bitte” – Please, and also, you’re welcome. “bitte sehr” only means you’re welcome, not please.
“gern geschehen/gerne” – You’re welcome. Again.
“Entschuldigung/Verzeihung” – Sorry for quick apologies, also excuse me.
“(es) tut mir leid” – I’m sorry, a more proper apology.
du oder Sie?
So. German has two versions of “you,” one is informal and one is formal. “du” is the informal you. It’s used for children, for friends and for family. “Sie” (always capitalized!! lowercase “sie” is the pronoun she) is formal you. It’s used for people older than you, strangers, and generally in the professional sense. Technically, we are not supposed to just call strangers “du” unless they specifically allow us, usually also allowing us to use their first name instead of their last name.
I... am constantly fighting with myself on whether or not Klavier would use du or Sie for people. He is laid back and cool, but still professional. The thing is, when I, a 30 year old German adult, walk into, for example, a tattoo parlor, or maybe a guitar store, a place where I expect people to be cool, I personally would use du. Not everybody would though! I overuse du because I have very poor manners lol and I do get in trouble with people for it sometimes.
What I believe is that in court, Klavier would still use Sie. Because using du for a judge would be VERY, very bold. And since he calls Apollo Herr Forehead in there, he should use Sie. Because du + Herr/Frau XY just sounds clunky. As soon as they become anything resembling friends though, if you’re going to have him address Apollo directly, please use du. Please. Google Translate will often give you Sie on default, don’t let it tempt you. It’s so awkward.
Pet names
If you’ve ever tried to translate “my love” into German, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry we are so complicated. Look. “Mein Lieb” doesn’t exist. That’s nothing. That’s not anything. I can’t translate it because it means nothing. Mein is possessive and Lieb I guess is the word stem for love. But it doesn’t mean anything like this.
I have seen “Meine Liebe,” which is technically a better translation, because that does literally mean “my love.” However, regrettably, German is one of those languages where everything is gendered. Why is every chair male? I don’t know. But they are. And so, unfortunately, “Meine Liebe” is feminine. You would not say this to a man, unless that man is explicitly cool with it.
The male version then would be “mein Lieber,” but the connotations for that aren’t as romantic as “my love.” It actually can come across condescending, though maybe that’s just me. Here are some alternatives:
“mein Liebster” – this is my favorite alternative for my love. It’s a superlative, like “my most beloved.” It’s unbelievably corny, but not unnatural. Especially not for Klavier Gavin. It’s the kind of shit the medieval bard outside your window would call you. The female version would be “meine Liebste”
“Schatz” – Literally treasure. Easy, simple. Very common for lovers in Germany, also used within families, and I call my dog Schatz lol. It’s definitely valid for romantic use, it’s just not that special. It’s gender neutral, and if you want to add a possessive, the correct form is “mein Schatz.” (This is what Gollum says in German, though, so... lmao people here use it but we also clown on people using it)
“Liebling” – This is just a good solid romantic pet name. On the level of honey, I’d say. Go ahead. Also gender neutral, correct possessive is “mein Liebling.”
“Süßer” – “süß” means sweet and/or cute! Süßer is a cute male person, Süße would be the female version. Using this for flirting while not dating yet is kind of thin ice, it can seem sleazy fast. Once together though, this is fine to use. Possessive is “mein Süßer” or “meine Süße.”
“Kleiner” – speaking of thin ice...... “klein” means small or short. Kleiner is a short male person. So... Use at your own peril, Klavier. It CAN be used as a pet name. I’m just saying. “mein Kleiner” or “meine Kleine” for the female version.
“Großer” – groß means big or tall, so same deal! “mein Großer” or “meine Große”
“Hase” – THIS IS MY FAVORITE. For Klapollo specifically. Hase means rabbit, and it’s a very common pet name here for family or lovers. And it’s just... you know, because of his hair... I think it’s cute. “mein Hase” if you wanna go there
“Häschen” – diminutive of Hase. :) If you wanna go even cornier. “mein Häschen”
“Mausi” – Maus means mouse. This is common I guess but not in my generation and probably not in yours. If someone called me Mausi or Maus I would probably call the police.
“Hübscher” – hübsch means pretty/handsome! Hübscher is a handsome guy. The female version is “Hübsche.” Definitely fine to use when together and when flirting.
“Herzchen” – Diminutive of “Herz” which means heart. REALLY corny. The sort of thing only Klavier Gavin can get away with. Gender neutral, “mein Herz(chen)”
And, just so you know...
forehead = “Stirn”
justice = “Gerechtigkeit”
Both of these words are grammatically female, but if you were to pair them with, say, Herr, you could totally get away with that.
;)
how to say I love you
“ich liebe dich” – you probably already know this one.
“ich liebe dich auch” – I love you too
“ich dich auch” – Can also be used as a response to “I love you,” but it’s that little bit lackluster. Like if you said “me too.”
“ich liebe dich so sehr” – I love you so much
“ich bin (in dich) verliebt” – I am in love (with you)
“(ich) hab dich lieb” – This is kind of a... Like when you say “love you” as a quick goodbye to loved ones? I say this to my sister and friends. It’s sweet but it’s not romantic.
Swearing
HERE WE GOOOOO. Now, I don’t believe Klavier swears a lot. But a well placed swear can work wonders. And anyway, I love swears. Do with these what you want.
“oh mein Gott” – Yes. We do say this. All the time. I say it like a hundred times a day. “Mein Gott” and “(oh) Gott” alone also work, pretty much just like the English version.
“(gott)verdammt” – One more blasphemous one. This is just the German (god)damn. Literally same thing.
“Scheiße” – extremely important!! Everybody loves Scheiße!! It means shit, but it’s used more like fuck. I say this about as much as I say Oh mein Gott. Probably more.
“Arschloch” – Literally asshole, very common. “Arsch” means ass, also works on its own.
“Arschgesicht” – Ass face. We love combining Arsch with just about anything.
“Arschgeige” – One of my favorites and great for Klavier: ass violin! Why is this a thing? I don’t know! But we say it.
“Wichser” – pronounced wixer, means wanker. Very good swear as in satisfying to say and does pack a good punch.
“Idiot” – You know this one. It’s pronounced ee-dee-oht here but it’s the same thing.
“Dummkopf” – dumb head. Doesn’t pack as much of a punch, but it’s common and natural. You can even use it affectionately if the situation calls for it.
“fick dich” – Fuck you. Literally the same.
“leck mich am Arsch” – Literally lick my ass. It can be used like “kiss my ass”, but it’s also used as a kind of exasperated “oh fuck me” when everything is going wrong.
“verpiss/verzieh dich” – Get lost. “verzieh dich” is a little bit tamer, you may have guessed that “verpiss dich” pretty literally means piss off. “Hau ab” is the tamest version of telling someone to get lost.
The thing about lederhosen
Listen... I don’t know how to say this. But we don’t wear these. Most of us don’t. Neither Lederhosen nor Dirndl. If you still want to draw them, I mean, be my guest, of course. But if you’re looking for German formalwear, something traditional that we would wear for special occasions? I am genuinely sorry to say this, but we don’t have any. I can’t get into the death of German fashion culture here because it makes me sad and rabid, but it is what it is. We wear suits and dresses to formal events. The only people I’ve ever seen in Lederhosen/Dirndl were headed for the Oktoberfest, waiting tables at Bavarian restaurants, or 90 year old bearded men back when I lived in the deepest Bavarian alps.
… That said, if you want the Gavins to be old Bavarian farmers, then go ahead and put the boys in Lederhosen. Put a cow somewhere too. And then please @ me. Danke.
Various fun facts
I’ve paid attention to capitalization in this whole post, please use it like this! It’s important, see the “Sie/sie” thing. As a general rule of thumb, all nouns are capitalized.
And please use ß. Please. Copy-paste it. If you can’t, you may use ss (not single s) instead. Don’t... Don’t use B. I don’t see it often, but I see it sometimes. Please. Scheiße means shit, but Scheibe means slice. Like a slice of cheese.
In the same vein, please use the Umlauts ä ö and ü when appropriate. They change pronounciation and meaning of a word! If you can’t use them the workaround is ae, oe and ue.
@heinkel was kind enough to write up a guide for how to access umlauts and ß (it’s called Eszett)! (linking my own reblog of it in case they change their url so the link won’t break) thanks! :^)
The name Gavin sounds like the German word “Gewinn” which means win or gain.
Gavinners, then, sounds like Gewinners! Grammatically correct if you’re trying to say winners, plural, would be Gewinner, but that would have been strange for a band with several people. Anyway I think this is a very clever pun and I love that Klavier thought of it.
As you guys probably know, Klavier means piano. And as I’ve already mentioned, German is unfortunately a gendered language. However, the noun Klavier is neutral in German! Fancy that, huh?
Just in case you’re wondering, guitar means Gitarre, and Gitarre is female.
A.... “popular” German language conundrum is that we don’t really have words for boyfriend/girlfriend. Male friend and boyfriend both mean “Freund,” female friend and girlfriend both mean “Freundin.” You can add “fest” to it, which means firm/solid/steady, implicating that you’re, you know, firmly together. That would be “fester Freund” or “feste Freundin.” Most of us only do that when asked to specify though. I don’t have a solution for this or anything. I just wanted to say it. Do with this information what you will.
And one last thing. If you want to write an authentic German? Just make them obsessed with bread. We fucking love bread. We have so much bread. There are three different types of bread in my kitchen right now and I live alone. I eat all of them. I love bread so fucking much. It’s good and it’s cheap here. And if I had to live in America the bread situation there would make me never shut up about it. Have Klavier talk about bread, he will instantly seem more German.
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This is all I could think of today and already pretty long! Again if you have any questions or even requests for more, just let me know! And have fun!!
And one quick plug: If you wanna read more of my silly musings on the German language, stop by @weirdgerman!
hi hello i hope its okay to ask but i was wondering what would be some good german terms/nicknames for platonic expressions of affection and/or endearment? specifically for klavier and trucy if that context helps bc their friendship means everything to me. thank u very much in advance !! <3
YEAAAAH KLAVIER TRUCY BESTIES AGENDA 2023
uhhh. ill be honest with you anon im the kind of guy who calls his friends babe so im never really sure where people would draw a distinction between romantic and platonic terms of endearment. and not to dig my "tumblr user crplpunkklavier is a full-time klavier gavin larper" grave any deeper but i feel like hed be the same
"Schatz" is definitely versatile though, people use that for everyone. i call my sister Schatz, i call my partner Schatz, i call my dog Schatz. id call my friends Schatz. variants are mein Schatz, Schätzchen, Schatzi. gender neutral. go buckwild with this one
for trucy specifically "Kleine/s" would work. klein means small/little. meine Kleine or just Kleine is the feminine version, but in german the neutral form (mein) Kleines can also be used as an affectionate term for any gender. this is also something i call my sister, despite her being 6'10".
(meine) Süße is like sweetie? that would work. Süße is feminine, if you wanted it masculine it would be (mein) Süßer. it CAN come off as flirty, but it doesnt HAVE to be flirty, so as long as theyre established as friends and we all know klavier is not a freak he can totally call trucy that
if you want something thats more bro speak adjacent, essentially our equivalent of "DUDE" is "Alter." its actually been on my list of words to write about for a while lol. Alter means "old one" which is a very funny translation because it sounds so mystical in english. (it can also just mean "age" but trust me thats not what it means in this context.) it is masculine but it very much has that "dude" status of being fine to use on anyone so long as that person is okay with it. think of it as if you were to open conversation with a friend à la "dude youll never believe this", "Alter" is a natural way to go in german
those were the ones i could think of? but honestly again any "romantic" petname is probably fine so long as its not explicitly sexual, which, few are. german is not a sexy language.
if any of my german followers have additions with what they call their friends, sound off!
About the "GERMAN CHEAT SHEET FOR KLAVIER WRITERS" Do you have a Favorit german word?^^ I think my favorite german words are "Teufelsbraten" which means "brat"(I think?) and "Schnauze" which means "shut up" X'D
hahahaha those are very good words. Teufelsbraten is for little rascals getting up to no good, yes. It's a compound word from "Teufel" (devil) and "Braten" (roast) and comes from the old christian idea that the devil will literally roast you if you're bad. Satansbraten also exists. Brat is a pretty good translation! Although now that I've thought about it calling someone the devil's roast is SO much better.
Schnauze is also super funny to me. Literally it just means snout, it's like a normal noun to use for animals. However directly telling someone "Schnauze!" does mean shut up, yeah! "Halt den Mund" means hold your mouth and is another tamer way of saying shut up. Then a ruder version is "Halt die Schnauze," so you've replaced mouth with snout. And then if you want to be even ruder you can just reduce it to "Schnauze." Because we LOVE being rude.
(Fun fact, this also works with "Halt die Fresse" > "Fresse." Fresse has nothing to do with animal mouths and is just a rude way of saying face or mouth. Kind of like mug.)
Sorry I still haven't actually answered your question bfshdf I'm just amused that your favorites are curse words. German is so much fun.
And as much as I love our swears, one of my all-time favorites is actually Brötchen, which is our word for bread rolls! See, "Brot" means bread, and Brötchen is the diminutive of that. So we see bread rolls and say these are little breads. Breadlings. I just think that's cute.
A classic is also our word for mullet, which is Vokuhila and comes from "VOrne KUrz, HInten LAng" which means short in the front, long in the back. We're funny sometimes :]
btw Fräulein is rude because, as the German feminist movement has correctly pointed out forever ago, having Frau/Fräulein for women but only Herr for men reduces women to their marital status. much like miss/mrs! today, Frau alone assumes nothing about someone’s marital status, while Fräulein implies 1) that the woman is seen as youthful in a negative light, ie inexperienced in life, even incompetent, and 2) that the speaker thinks women need to be categorized into married and not married. if you are speaking formally with a woman the correct form to use is always Frau Lastname
I headcanon Klavier as the office gossip! Is there any german slang for like "spill the tea" or busybody, things like that?
ooo fun. i don't have a lot of vocabulary for this myself, so if any of my german speaking followers know any more of course feel free to reply to this so anon can see it!
but i can very much give some basic translations
"Klatsch", "Tratsch", "Klatsch und Tratsch" = gossip. yes, these are exactly as fun to say as they look. they're pretty much just the noun gossip, our gossip magazines for example are called "Klatschzeitschrift", with Zeitschrift meaning magazine
"tratschen" = to gossip. that's ur verb. my translator tool tells me "klatschen" can be used in the same sense, but i'm not sure if i've heard it used like this, because "klatschen" actually means clap lol. "tratschen" is safe though
"(alles) ausplaudern" = this would be the equivalent to spilling tea or beans, i think? it's not quite as colorful. "plaudern" is just once again a verb for talking a lot. “aus” means out, and “alles” means everything
"Raus damit!" = lit. "Out with it!"
"Wichtigtuer" = busybody, lit. meaning a person acting important
"Klatschweib/Klatschmaul" = a person who gossips! you could call this derogatory of course, due to the nature of the topic and all lol but it's not a terrible insult or anything. if you tratsch you're a klatschmaul. "Weib" is an archaic term for woman, "Maul" is an animal mouth, so Klatschmaul is the gender neutral way of calling someone a gossip.
i was inspired by your German cheat sheet for Klav writers to send this but yeah because of Klavier i considered learning German for funsies. and for a period of time my nickname in several discord servers was either unehilche Hörnchen or unehilche Vogel.
i leave you with the headcanon that Klavier uses Kirsche and Sonnenschien (or is it Sonnenchen??) as nicknames for Apollo.
SONNENSCHEIN......... 🥺 that's really cute. hc approved
for the record:
"Sonne" = sun
"Schein" = shine
"Sonnenschein" = sunshine :)
Sonnenchen is nothing BUT "-chen" is our most-used diminutive so you could also say Sonnenscheinchen for extra cute!
i have never heard anyone use Kirsche (this means cherry) as a nickname but honestly it's not like that would stop klavier. is it because of polly's hair......... cute.......
I AM UHHH not going to question why ur nickname was "bird born out of wedlock" but. u do u wehjfsnm
just for my own peace of mind: the correct spelling of born out of wedlock is "unehelich"!
"Ehe" = marriage
"un" = a prefix english speakers also use!
"lich" = a suffix
"unehelich" = unmarriageish :)
