Not always a warrior
3/16/15
Yesterday was a hard day. It was day two after chemo and that is usually the day I feel just horrible. Add to it that my period should be here (though no sign of it, but was very emotional none the less). I also made the mistake of showering that morning and seeing just as much hair in the drain as the other day, which literally defeated me.
My sister-in-law called and I literally broke down when she asked me how I was doing. Her words to me, "I knew this part would get you." because she has a co-worker who said the hair issue is horrendous and she also said, "You do not have to be strong all the time." How well she knows me. I feel like I always need to be strong. I literally apologize for crying when it gets me down.
My mother-in-law was next to me as I was talking and I saw her silently tearing too. Because I think she knows how hard I try to stay positive and strong... but I don't always win that battle.
I hate how much this process makes you cry... not over fear of dying, but the process. This is so not fun. Please do whatever you need to do to stay healthy. Get mammograms, get physicals, do not ignore warning signs... this struggle was me catching it early... me not ignoring my intuition. What would this journey be like if I ignored it?