#gettingoutofthevalley

[gettingoutofthevalley-blog]

I sometimes wonder if words are all that I have left. At least they are the only things there for me. The last thing in my life that I ever expected to be reliable. 

I've been so uncertain about life, the future mostly. College; to go or not to go, that is the question my friends. What would it all be for? A lousy degree in Creative Writing that I can't put for to anything?

A part of myself keeps nudging the other, telling it that it doesn't matter what I decide to do as long as I continue with these stories, but the other half has itself off on tangents.

I'll just let what happens, happen. Let the world take me in its wind, and away from the iron grip of the expectation of other's I often get wrapped up in.

Anyways, Prom's tomorrow and I'm tired and ultimately confused. I tend to think less when I sleep. Goodnight to all who read these. 

[gettingoutofthevalley-blog]

I stand before you, with a lump in my throat, and knots in my stomach.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words cannot form. I am bewildered by this.

I am not one that is able to share my deepest thoughts to anyone. Even you, my great friend. When the small talk comes down to silence and tears.

It’s just a simple three word sentence. I am gay.

But when I write it the meaning becomes mangled. It loses the purpose and self grievance behind them.

But that’s not important. That is in the response that I hope in return. Three words come to my mind.

I and Love and You.

Because after all, the rest doesn’t matter; age, sex, ethnicity, religion, physique, and wealth.

Love is simple. Humanity is the complicated part.

[gettingoutofthevalley-blog]

You told me to take your hand and hold it tight to my chest. You looked me in the eyes and thanked me.

With choked back tears, I asked you why.

You turned and looked out the window to the setting sun. Then you quietly replied, “Because you just are.”

I didn’t understand at the time, but I think I do now.

I recall you looking at the faces of people in your last days. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I think you found peace on my face.

The kind of peace where one just fades into the pinks and oranges of the sunset. Colors that have no business there, but always find their way next to the setting sun.