Hazel sat in the empty prison cell of a small waiting room as he anticipated a verdict that would change his life irreparably. And irreparable it was, as it was explained to him that she didn’t make it. The dose was too high? Or maybe there were other, stronger drugs mixed in? They wouldn’t know until her labs came back. That was just the risk of doing illegal drugs, you could never be sure what was in them, a Russian roulette with every injection. And this time she lost. Everyone lost.
He only prayed that it was painless, they use opioids as pain medication right? He forced himself to believe she didn’t suffer and remembered the relief in her eyes when she saw him in some of her last moments. Now, he has to pick up the pieces. And some of those pieces were Atom and GG bursting through the door to find out what the hell was going on. There was no one else to tell them.
@danger-tits-lute
Fate was truly cruel to the man. The woman he loved, gone in a blink of an eye, his whole world shattered in an instant when the Doctor broke him the news. His ears shut off after the moment he’s informed of her passing, his head swam, light headed, taking a seat as everything became so muffled around him. A touch to his shoulder goes unnoticed, unfelt as he stares into his hands as if they were sullied with her blood.
He should have gotten her help, real help, not trying to play hero and pretend that what she was going through could be handled by someone with no experience. Tears streamed from his eyes as he asked himself in his head, what was the last thing he said to her? What was the last thing she heard? What was her last thought? Did she see him? Was she in pain? How could he have been so stupid! She was so important to him, so incredible, so beautiful and had so much to say and do…. But she was gone.
What were his last words to her?
Hazel would have to live his life experiencing new things and questioning if Lute would have liked it, what she would say, what she would want to do.
What was the last thing he said to her?
“I…It’s all my-“
Then the doors opened to the waiting room and two men walk in, frantic.
“Where is she? What’s going on??”
“Hazel! What the fuck happened?? Where’s Lute??”
Hazel looked up to the two of them and realized… They’ve known her for so much longer than he has. He should have… involved them, not kept it a secret… why the fuck did he keep it to himself???
“Lute…. Lute had been struggling for… a long time…”
“The fuck does that mean??”
Hazel shakingly stands, hands at his sides, he couldn’t meet their gaze as more tears slipped down his eyes slowly. A true waterfall of slow tears as he spoke “She’s… She’s gone. I thought I could help her, I thought that maybe, given time…”
Smack!!
Suddenly Hazel was punched, he stumbles back and everyone in the room now looked to the group, some nurses whispering among themselves, probably to start calling security. But when Hazel looked up, the culprit of who threw the punch was his band leader himself.
“You… You fucking asshole!” GG grabbed Hazel by his collar, pulling him up. “What did you keep from us?! Why?! What makes you the authority over her?! You didn’t even know her for more than a year! She was our friend! Our family!!! You had no right! No right at all!” GG’s cheeks were damp with tears, his teeth clenched down tight, pained angry whines coming from his throat as the woman who was the closest person he had to a sister was gone and he didn’t even have a chance to stop it.
Hazel bit back anger but some slipped out as he grabbed the man’s wrist, tight. “If you would have let her just play her fucking music then she’d still be alive!” He snaps. “But your reputation and control made you blind to how much pain she was in!! I was trying to help while you made the problem so much worse with your selfishness!”
GG let Hazel go, hands falling to his sides, but Hazel wasn’t done. “She was passionate about the music she made and you took it for granted, used her for some quick and easy music so you could get ahead of what? Your other best friend that you have some silly rivalry with? If you took a minute to grow the fuck up then maybe she’d still-“
“ALRIGHT!”
GG yelled, unable to take a deep breath, huddling in a seat and covering his ears, rocking slowly. “Please… I’m…. I’m sorry. I didn’t know… I would have let her if I knew… I would have… fuck… Lute…” he sobbed in his seat.
Atom moves and puts a hand on GG’s shoulder, he too was to blame. He looked to Hazel, his eyes filling with tears. “…I guess I’m next huh? Yea. I know we’ve been growing apart, I just… had my own shit going on. But if you would have told us….. what the fuck Hazel?? What were you thinking?” His tone is awfully quiet for the normally loud lead guitarist but the was a new growing void within him, all the years spent with Lute, all the holidays, her smile, her kindness. How could he not feel defeated? Like a failure. What was he gonna tell his dad…?
Hazel moved and leaned his forehead against the wall nearby. Just… trying to breathe, wishing he could hear her voice one last time, that this was all a prank and she’d walk out to see them and laugh that they were being so dramatic but… that wouldn’t happen. He… won’t ever get to hear her voice again. Won’t even get to hear her sing… They all failed her, she was in need of so much help and none of them took the right road to heal her…
All they could do now is just… Stand and wait in silence.
Eventually GG left with Atom to go call his dead. It left Hazel alone. Sitting in a chair within the waiting room trying to Remember everything about her so he wouldn’t forget. Her laugh, her smile, her favorite food, artist, composer, coffee… anything he could cling on to so he would never forget the one girl he’s loved with all his heart.
Hey GG, think your guitarist would go on a date with me? She’s hot, I could show her a real good time! 😉😉😉
“Eat shit and die bastard, it I see you around her I’ll make sure to shove Neo’s drumsticks up your ass so you have something to remember is by.” He tosses the signed picture at the guy. “Now fuck off.”
Lute had fallen asleep soon after being given food after her father left, not talking much in between but gratefully accepting the love offered to her by both males of the Constantine household. When she woke up she was hungry and made her way upstairs to see if anyone was still awake. She was surprised to she the light on in GG’s room, having been asleep when he arrived.
Biting her lip she softly knocked and pushed open the cracked door, hoping her father hadn’t made his way to bother her other friend’s household before she got to him.
“GG? Can I come in?”
@danger-tits-lute
After GG had told his parents details of what happened and after a brisk “tough love” moment from his father, he was thrown outside, told that if Atom’s house was so much better then he might as well go live with them. He didn’t plan to go, but the tent outside in the backyard where he normally went when his parents tried to make him learn a lesson had collapsed from a recent storm that passed by.
He had no choice but to walk and when he did get there, Adam cleaned him up, fed him and gave him some time to relax. He didn’t tell Adam what happened but Atom had since he knew.
When he heard Lutes voice, he turns in bed and sits up. His lip was cut, his cheek bruised and a black eye had finally came down from being swollen and once she came in he moved to share room on the bed.
Send a ❤ and my Muse will confess one thing they find attractive about yours. (Accepting)
He stammers a little, playing with his hands over and over, he's nervous. Any boy would when faced with such a question. Does he tell the truth or does he lie? It's hard to even think up of a good answer when the girl in front of you made you feel like someone actually important.
"I uh... Think your... Dresses are pretty on you." Good one. Certainly one for the history books. His cheeks are beet red and his hands had gotten clammy. His feet scream for him to run but he holds where he is, he's already let it out, no sense running now. She knows, its out there, but damn does he feel like he's about to explode.
Sounds like GG had a crush on Lute for a long time. What would sinner GG tell his high school self about finally getting to be with her?
Wow, he was so young, and stupid. Well, GG’s always been a little dumb, but seeing his younger self who no doubt looked up at him like he had hidden secrets to all his dreams. He already knew what he’d ask in that moment, cause it always was on his mind “Did we make it big? Did we make a ton of friends? Are we famous??”
If only GG could see himself from where his younger self saw him. Taller, longer hair, tired, hiding so much misery behind those eyes.
The truth… Was something he’d lie to himself with. “Yea. Totally! Just. You know… Lute? Yea. Our feelings for her in High School is kinda superficial, but… There is a lot of love down there, it may not be romantic but it’s strong and something to hold onto tightly. I guess, one day we get her, sure. But the cost? I don’t know. It might feel worth it sometimes but then you’ll remember when you’re alone of all that’s happened and feel like it isn’t earned. You know?”
He pauses, stammers and looks away from his younger self that’s both curious and full of concern. But he tries to rebound with a grin “Hey, it’s a hell of a ride after High School, you both change a ton, especially Lute. But… Just remember uh… The bands meant to be shared, you know? It’s ok to give the spotlight to others sometimes, you won’t fade into the background and be forgotten, not with the people you’ll meet, especially not Lute. So just remember that and you’ll make it big, I promise.”
He had been driving for hours, texting her over and over. Once his anger subsided his texts went from furious mashings of “Come back I just wanna talk” to “Lute, seriously, you’re scaring the shit out of me” and “where are you??”
Well, that last question would be answered in due time as he’d find her slumped on a tire swing in an empty park. One that was familiar to the both of them as this was the spot he had taken her many times over when she felt awful after a day of school so long ago. Screeching to a halt, GG got out of his van and sprinted towards her.
“Shit, what are you doing out here? It’s cold as hell, you’re gonna catch your death!” It’s not till he’s right up on her that he sees somethings wrong, very wrong. Her eyes dilated, jaw slacked half open, her eyes didn’t meet his when he moved her upright to look at him. “Oh my god! Lute!” The pit of despair his stomach turned into caused him to double over and heave. She looked dead. It wasn’t till he heard her tiny voice crack out a heavy “Geeg…” which caused him to stand and grab onto her.
“Yea, yea! I’m here! We gotta… I gotta… fuck!” What did she do? What had he done?? “Fuck I’m so sorry! Please stay with me, I can’t lose you!” When his hands met her arms, a couple of spotting of blood peppered his hand and he looked to see it was her blood from a puncture wound. What the fuck did she do????
“Come on, I got ya.” He began to move her. “Just like at home, right? Like when you pass out on the couch. I know Atom isn’t here but I’m all you need, promise!” It took all his strength to get her out of the tire swing, carrying her by her arms as he dragged her uphill. Why couldn’t he be stronger? Braver? Better? “Come on, stay with me!”
Getting to the van, he swung the back doors open and moved her in. “I’m gonna get you somewhere that can help, just… hang on!” Shutting the double doors is when the vomit came, causing him to double over once again and let it out as tears streamed from his eyes. Wiping his mouth off he tried to get it together. What would Atom do? Certainly not puke like a pathetic child. No, he’d get in that car and drive like a fucking crazy man and get her to safety.
And that’s what he did, jumping into the driver seat and kicking it into gear. GG held her hand the whole way, both to keep her stable in the back and for his own comfort, as if he could share his warmth with hers, his pulse, his life. “We’re almost there, Lute! You’ll be ok, I promise! Just stay with me!”
But that’s not what happened, even with his frantic driving, his efforts to save her, it was all for nothing. At least, in the end, she was held when she passed. She had flat lined in that van, GG holding onto her for dear life, maybe she was comfortable knowing how regretful he was, how sorry he was and how much he desperately tried to save her.
