Going Home for Christmas
Summary: When Killian Jones’ best friend Emma Nolan asked him to come home with her for Christmas acting as her fiancé, he never could have guessed what it would mean.
Find All Chapters Here
Read on AO3 Here!
/
Chapter Thirteen | Mistletoe Kisses Aren’t a Big Deal
When it’s time for the Christmas ball to end, after what had felt like hours spent swaying and laughing with the princess in his arms, Killian holds Emma’s hand and walks with her toward the steps leading up to the residences.
But there’s something new hanging from a string just above the steps: a mistletoe.
He can’t be sure, but he thinks he catches Leo smirking for just a moment before the sly look fades and instead, he shouts, “Mistletoe means you gotta kiss!”
There are giggles and gasps from the crowd that’s formed of the remaining partygoers.
Turning to them, Killian gets the distinct feeling that this was done on purpose. Clearly, someone, somewhere, whose name is Prince Leopold, wants them to share a kiss in front of this excited crowd of Misthaven citizens.
Mistletoe kisses aren’t a big deal, right? This won’t cause another rift between them… will it?
“Kiss!” They begin to cheer, a chant that swells so loudly that he’s sure the rest of the country will hear.
Laughing a little, he turns to his fiancée. She sighs a bit, pressing up onto her toes as his hand fits on the small of her back. They kiss, but it’s barely a kiss. It can’t even compete with their carriage ride peck for the cameras.
The crowd boos, picking up the chant again. “Kiss! A real one!”
Emma gives Killian a nervous little smile and he becomes determined to give the crowd what they’re looking for, so he wraps his arms around her, sweeping her completely off of her feet, while her hands press firm to his chest and their lips meet.
The crowd loves it. Cheers erupt. Whistles echo around the atrium.
His heart begins to pound in earnest as the kiss deepens. Emma’s fingers find his hair as he lowers her feet to the ground, and suddenly, all he wants is to keep kissing her.
But he pulls away, breathless, and as he stares back at Emma, he finds that she looks up at him with something gentle and realized in her eyes. It fades fast, both of them turning to the crowd to wave goodnight.
They climb the stairs in silence and walk the halls deep, deep in thought. Killian finds himself touching his lips. Kissing Emma like that really makes things complicated.
Their knuckles brush on accident as their hands sway at their sides and he looks at her.
She blushes, shaking her head. “Sorry.”
“Emma, we just kissed.”
She slows to a stop and faces him. “I know.”
“It’s going to happen a lot more,” he tells her quietly, “at least, it will if we get married.”
She nods. Silently, she moves closer to him, a little wry look in her eyes. “Kissing you isn’t all bad.”
His heart begins to pound faster and he can’t help but smirk. “No?”
Emma shakes her head. Her fingers are on his chest, sliding toward his neck, and he feels himself captured in her orbit, desperate for whatever she has to say. God help him, he’d like to kiss her again.
“I like kissing you.” Killian admits in a whisper. I like you.
She smiles, timid, and laughs under her breath, pushing up on her toes so she can pull his forehead to hers. He settles his hands over her hips and smiles to himself.
Maybe this means something. Maybe this is falling in love.
Right then and there, Emma brushes her lips against his, and he swears his entire world flips on its head. This is the first time they’ve kissed without an audience and it is heavenly.
Sighing with pure contentment, he reaches for her face, cupping it in his palm, and she presses him back against a nearby wall.
“Emma?” a familiar voice prompts Emma away from him, her fingers on her lips as she steps back.
She seems as disoriented as he feels, trying to straighten himself out while Elsa approaches them in the hall.
“Hey, Elsa,” Emma smiles politely. “Killian and I were headed back for the night. What’s up?”
Elsa looks between them, as if she can sense something off, but keeps it to herself. “I… wanted to let you know that I’m going home tomorrow morning. I wondered if we could maybe chat for a bit before I go.”
Emma’s eyes widen. “Of course. Let’s go to the roof. It’s quieter there.” She turns to Killian and smiles nervously, with a sense of wordlessness that can only come from what just happened. “We’ll talk later, okay?”
He nods, smiling. She wants to talk about it: their kisses. It’s a good sign, right?
“Night, Elsa.” Killian waves to Emma’s friend.
Elsa gives him a polite grin. “Good night, Killian. Thank you for lending me Emma. I hope we’ll get to meet again soon.”
“I have a feeling we will.”
+ + +
Emma sits with Elsa on the rooftop couch, cocoas in hand, while they exchange stories and laughs. For a long time, Elsa was one of the only people who understood Emma. They are both the eldest siblings, both royals in their own rights.
There’s something special about spending time in the company of someone so like minded, someone she trusts deeply, someone that isn’t aware of her secrets, but would undoubtedly keep them if she shared.
“So… you and Killian. I want some details.” Elsa says, reaching for Emma’s arm. Her eagerness to learn more is contagious, her eyes bright with wonder and curiosity. “How are things going? Has he always known about Misthaven and all of this? I got the distinct feeling that he was a little shell shocked on that first day.”
Hesitating, Emma feels guilt tickling her belly. Right about now, all she wants is someone who can coach her through what the hell is going on with Killian. They just kissed for real, and she’s feeling things for him that she isn’t sure she should.
If anyone would be good to talk to about this, it would be Elsa. The woman had been with her through every relationship, ready to be an ear to talk off, to laugh with her in the good moments, and to cry with her in the bad ones.
Emma closes her eyes briefly as she sighs. “Els, I need to tell you something.”
Elsa frowns, worry in her expression. “Oh, no. What is it? Are you two okay?”
“Elsa, we aren’t actually together.”
Her friend’s eyes widen in shock. “You’re not?”
Emma shakes her head. “We’re best friends, and we’ve known each other for five years, but we’re not together and we never dated.”
With the truth finally out in the open with someone she trusts deeply, Emma allows herself to breathe a little, the emotions she’s been bottling up finally able to spew to the surface.
“I feel absolutely awful, Els.” Emma admits, shaking her head slowly. “It feels like my whole life is completely turning into a lie. And to make matters worse, I think I’m actually falling in love with Killian.”
Elsa’s eyes grow wider. “Oh.”
Her friend puts her cup down on the table in front of them and grabs Emma’s to do the same. Then, she wraps her arms around Emma, giving her a warm hug.
“Regina told me she’s going to take the throne if I finally officially abdicate,” Emma adds, “so I have to stay. I have to. And Killian wants to marry me just so the people don’t turn on me when I take the crown.”
Elsa squeezes her tighter. “Ohh… Emma…”
Pulling away, she has a deeply worried knit in her brow. She holds Emma’s shoulders beneath her hands.
“There’s more. I can tell. What is it?”
“Graham came to visit,” Emma sighs, her eyes watery, “I told him the truth, that Killian and I aren’t together. That we’re kind of engaged, but not really?”
“Tell me you didn’t…”
Feeling somehow worse than before, Emma nods. “We were drinking and we kissed. And Killian saw.” She groans, burying her face in her hands. “I don’t know why I did. I just… felt comfortable for the first time in a while. It almost felt like I was the old me again.”
Elsa sighs. “Kissing Graham has never been good for you. Even when he was the healthiest relationship you could be in.”
“I know…” Emma mutters into her hands. She pulls them away from her face, shoulders falling. “But that isn’t even the worst part. Tonight, I kissed Killian for the first time ever, it was just the two of us alone, and… I’m kind of freaking out.”
Eyes wide, Elsa considers everything for a moment, then takes a deep, steadying breath. “You need to tell Killian how you feel.”
“That’s the thing, though, Elsa. I don’t think he feels the same for me.” Emma shakes her head. “He’s only ever looked at me like a friend. He came here because I begged him. I knew he wouldn’t say no.”
Elsa gives her a weary look. “Emma. The man wants to marry you in order to help you save face. I would think that would be an eyesore of a clue that he loves you.”
Emma groans again. “If you knew him, you’d know that’s just who he is, though. I mean… we’ve been best friends for five years. We know each other so well. I feel like I’d know if he was in love with me. I’ve seen him in love before.”
Her friend hums thoughtfully. “Maybe it hasn’t been love before. Maybe it’s just been... infatuation or lust.”
“Maybe.” Emma sighs. She fidgets with the engagement ring on her finger in silence. The more she thinks about Killian’s relationships, the greater the doubt sitting heavy in her chest feels.
“Emma, do you want Killian to be in love with you?”
Emma blinks at Elsa. Her mouth falls open. “I… haven’t… I mean, I just…” She stops herself. “I don’t even know if I want to be in love with him.”
Elsa gives her a dry look. “Emma.”
“What?”
“Why not?”
Emma balks, shaking her head and lifting her shoulders. “I don’t know!”
Elsa straightens out her posture and takes Emma’s hand, forcing Emma to look at her. “Emma, five years is a long time. If he was going to leave, he’d have gone by now. Are you afraid because you don’t want to hurt him because he’s too special to you?”
A lump forms in Emma’s throat. She feels a hot tear fall down her cheek. She nods. “You know my secrets, Elsa. I’m not good enough for him. I don’t want him to learn that the hard way.”
Her friend’s shoulders fall wearily. “You seem pretty perfect for him from what I’ve seen.”
Emma shakes her head in complete disbelief. “You don’t know us.”
Elsa hums. “Fine. I don’t. But I saw you tonight. Dancing. Laughing together. Kissing beneath the mistletoe.” She gives Emma a small smile. “If you love him the way you showed us tonight, you don’t have anything to be afraid of.”
+ + +
When Emma returns to her bedroom, it is well past any normal bedtime hour. She finds the apartment dark, with the exception of a small lamp in her living room left on so she can see where she’s going.
In her bed, Killian’s sound asleep, his back to her. He’s snoring just a little.
It’s good, she thinks, that he’s asleep, because she isn’t really ready to talk about what had happened between them, as much as she’d thought she was in the moment. Kissing has never felt so right, but at the same time, so incredibly scary.
It’s real now. Before, she could pretend it was just best friends making incredibly dumb decisions just to save face, but now… they’ve kissed.
Emma gets ready for bed in her closet and steps into the bathroom, where she discovers a note waiting for her written on a sticky note taped on the mirror.
Council meeting tomorrow AM. Meet for breakfast at 8. -Mom xoxo
Sighing, Emma grabs her toothbrush to brush her teeth. Council. Tomorrow. Christmas Eve with the council is the last place she wants to be.
Once she finishes in the bathroom, she turns the lamp off in the living room and crawls into bed, careful to not wake her companion. He stirs slightly when she pulls on the sheets, but doesn’t wake up.
Lying on her side away from him, Emma closes her eyes. She thinks about what Elsa had said, that it makes sense that Killian would likely feel the same way she does deep down.
Is she ready to love him? Does she already? Is it too late?
She feels Killian turn over in his sleep. His arm seems drawn to her middle, sparking butterflies within her at the warm and intimate embrace.
He sighs deeply and he slurs tiredly, “You’re back.”
Emma smiles a little. “Yeah.”
Killian hums. He snuggles closer to her, sleep claiming him again before he can say anything else. She squeezes her eyes closed tighter.
She feels as if she’s hanging on by a thread by wishing it, but a mantra plays over in her mind: don’t fall in love. Just don’t fall in love.
Emma’s eyes open again. She presses herself onto her back so she can turn and look at Killian in the dark. Her fingers find his fringe, gently brushing it back, and she sighs.
It’s too late, isn’t it? She does love him, in the warmest, sweetest way.