Ghosdeeri and child reader
Note: I was today years old when I realized her name is ‘Ghosdeeri’, not ‘Ghostdeeri’ (¬_¬")
Note 2: Eugh…is these time a mentally hard time for Libra? I’m exhausted "( – ⌓ – )
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•Life is such a weird concept, whether it’s for the better or the worse. Not like it will ever make sense anyway, because in the end, living being is already a question awaiting the answer after eternity. Of course, Inpherno itself is already an enigma that is waiting to be explored to the end of its core, if one decides to think about it. At least that’s what she randomly realizes out of the blue. That fact is highlighted even more when there are other individuals that are far from an Inphernal co-existing in the blind spot of one’s eye, like her. Ghosdeeri’s entire purpose is to be a scribe, an outsider of the world, who shall witness the history of Inpherno as a loyal alibi of whatever happened there. Aside from that, she simply has no other task assigned to her by her creator. So what will happen when a creature of Death himself decides to look after — or even attempt to nurture — a living being that is far more complicated than her own kins?
• One thing to note down about her is that even when Ghostwalker created her kins for the sole purpose of documenting the world, she isn’t mindless. Quite the opposite even. Ghostwalker didn’t create just her to be fixated on completing a task like a machine, but he made her sentient and capable of harboring her own thoughts. Not much in the emotional aspect though, since after all, too much of unwanted feelings will definitely affect her ability to carry out the task at hand of being the world’s audience. Ghosdeeri is capable of making her own decisions as long as it’s not against the nature of her duties regarding the library, which is why she’s able to roam around the mortal realm to make connections with others. Taking care of Lightblox is her choice. Befriending Traffic is her choice. And now, caring for you is the decision she will stay responsible to because she wants to do it, and nothing is going to change that fact
• She doesn’t understand nor remember why did she decide to look after Lightblox at the first place, and Ghosdeeri certainly doesn’t have a good explanation on why she decided to take care of you as well - another mortal. One mortal of an Inphernal is already much, yet here she is, dealing with two. But at least she already has some experience regarding her taking care of Lightblox for this long. Though she is definitely going to be somewhat surprised when noticing how you are less of a nervous wreck than her goddaughter. And by that, one means that she can’t entirely rely on the same method she used to raise Lightblox. Well, it’s not enough to make her flustered visually, but that alone is more than sufficient to make her fall deep in thought when trying to acknowledge the differences between you and Lightblox as well as trying to understand how different things work when it comes to you
• And that’s the very first thing she feels the need to know more about you as an individual. Not just as an Inphernal biologically, but personality wise as well. She wants to make sure that she understands you and your needs properly because there is a pretty high chance that you will be a total wild card that is gonna be nothing like she has ever witnessed before. Not much people is a neet like Lightblox anyway, so she has to make sure that she knows how to treat you right. Not just because you’re under her protection, but also because of her own curiosity when it comes to living being’s aspects. From your general wellbeing to see if you have any illness or problems that she should take note of, to your personality - such as what do you like or dislike? What is your favorite color? Your favorite activity? Your less favorite person? Do you need a certain thing that you need to have to live? What is your belief or philosophy? The list shall go on, hope that you don’t mind answering her questions
• Ghosdeeri also wants to make sure that your energy is not going to be affected by hers. This might be a new concept since it’s a thing that one wants to explore in her character, but since everyone knows Ghosdeeri is created by Ghostwalker — the very essence of Death himself — and adds up to the fact that her actual self is an eternal blaze beneath that vessel, the flame might have something to do with the underworld. The fact she might be made of soul fire, which commonly known as ‘ghost flames’ in a lots of other cultures, is definitely noticeable. Soul fire doesn’t go too well with most of the mortals that it comes into contact with. Unlike the traditional warm blaze, soul fire is as chilly as death itself, making those who come for it weakens both in physical aspects or even mentally. The very existence of its energy is enough to send a chill down someone’s spine, which should explain why you suddenly have goosebumps around Ghosdeeri. And since her body is literally made of it, the last thing she ever wants is for her very own existence to cause you harm. Of course, you won’t really come into contact with her fire, she makes sure of it. But nonetheless, she might avoid physical affection for your own sake. Occasional pats or something similar are still there, but not all the time
• Staying with Ghosdeeri isn’t really the most exciting thing ever. It’s not like it will be extremely dull with constant silence, but if you’re an upbeat soul who seeks thrills of adventure here and there, then you might find the peace that your guardian offers to you a tad bit boring. She is just naturally quiet like that unless she is spoken to. Ghosdeeri doesn’t mind you breaking the silence if you want to talk to her, but she is certainly a better listener than someone who keeps the story alive, to be frank with you. It seems like she does prefer to maintain the comfortable silence that brings her some peace in her mind. While it’s definitely not too interesting to dwell into, it’s not necessarily a bad thing though when you put it into other perspective. Peace is something that can hardly be acquired when life is so noisy in this era, so consider it a rare moment to relax and let yourself breathe for once without any worries. If you want a shelter which you know you can feel comfortable right at home with no harm shall come to your path, you know exactly who to find for a peaceful sleep. Ghosdeeri will be a good company if you don’t want to feel lonely in quiet time
• Honestly though, she is definitely the type of guardian that give you the ‘do not die’ or at least ‘do not do something too illegal to the point she has to show up at court rather than doing her duties’ advice when you’re about to do something batshit crazy. Well, it might be an exaggeration at some point, but one thing for sure is that Ghosdeeri isn’t strict with you at all. She knows that you only live once, so might as well let you enjoy life with no regrets while you still can. As long as you don’t become a serial criminal that hurt others or go against the rules on purpose — not morally, since she doesn’t really how to know that well of what makes someone better than others without turning it into a long professional debate — to your own scheme, she can let just as anything slide really. You want to hang out with someone? Go ahead. You want to try and experience new things? Just make sure to stay safe. You want to go somewhere far away to explore something? Good luck and remember that she will always welcome you if you want to go home. She is going to support you quietly on every decision you make to witness your growth from it, she can’t understand why, but it makes her feel proud
• She will try to understand you better on emotional terms, but it requires time for her to fully comprehend it. After all, she is emotionally inept. Of in another word, emotionally unavailable. Ghosdeeri has difficulty recognizing, understanding, and managing her own emotions because she’s similarly unfamiliar with the concept itself since birth, as well as not knowing what to do with others. One thing that you should know is she does what she is currently doing is because of these reasons: One, it’s her duty if the question is directed to the library. Two, if being asked why did she do good things even when she don’t understand what makes people or herself happy, she will answer by telling you that emotions and morals are two different concepts that don’t necessarily go together. She helps and attempts to care for others because it’s a natural thing to do when seeing someone in distress. She doesn’t do it for herself or for anyone, she does good deeds simply because it’s an instinct that doesn’t entirely rely on morality or positive emotions. And for you, she wants to at least be there when you need her. Sure, she doesn’t know how to comfort someone, she doesn’t know how to sweet talk or even showing obvious affection - but she still wants to at least try. Give her a moment to understand what is she doing, her existence isn’t made of the warm embrace of love after all
• Ghosdeeri is a walking collection of memories at some point, metaphorically speaking. She knows more than she lets you know. Ghosdeeri has pick up certain knowledge from each field that has existed since the birth of Inpherno, from historical records that barely anyone realized it’s not a myth to ancient hymns of a forgotten yesterday. She has been created to be the ultimate watcher of the work and documented everything down in her library since who knows how long, which means she has seen more than a lots of unbelievable things that are beyond mortal’s comprehension. There is a reason why her library is so vast after all
• Due to the rules however, she cannot let you access the library at will without a deity’s permission even when she isn’t that strict about regulations and all. It’s just the rules she has to live with, and she hopes you will understand her. However, that doesn’t mean those stories will be sealed away forever. She can’t let you in, sure, but the rule has no specific saying of how all the stories must not be told. She can still bring those stories to you through words, considering it a little bedtime story before you sleep. Well, you might be too amazed with some of the tales to the point you will just pester her to continue, those are one of a kind after all. But Ghosdeeri doesn’t mind at all. She can’t feel tired somewhat anyway, so she will gladly entertain your imagination
• One thing that you might or might not expect is how Ghosdeeri seems to have quite the knack of being the type who wants to preserve the moments of now. Does she strike you as someone who just watches everything go down in ashes then rises up again without giving a damn about it? If you really think so, an apology would be appreciated. Photography is something that she enjoys, although she doesn’t really know or care much about the aesthetic aspects of her very own pictures. Well, as long as it does its job, then she won’t be picky. Maybe collecting some things like a dead butterfly or small historical relics from the years before, anything to put a milestone in the moment. She will allow you to admire them if that’s what you want. However, of you’re someone fascinated with the specific items in her collection, she might be confused because why are you emotionally attached to a stone? Once again, mortal is hard to understand. She will try to make you feel better afterwards still, maybe some warm drink to accompany your thoughts
• Don’t think that you have never received anything from her just because she doesn’t mention it, she still manages to remember what you need the end of the day even when you only talked about it briefly once after all those times. She doesn’t need to hear it twice. That’s just her way. Ghosdeeri doesn’t ask what you want. She doesn’t need to after all because she already mesmerizes it from the very first time you brought it up. Since she’s already quite the collector type already, it’s not hard for her to want to give you the specific gift that she knows you will love. She doesn’t make it too obvious, whether it’s intentional or not. Somewhere between all the odd little objects she’s picked up over time, there is something familiar yet intriguing catch your eyes again. How interesting, the things that don’t seem to belong to anyone, until suddenly, they do. And their home is right in your hands. Just imagine how she suddenly comes back and takes your hand, placing the little gift into your palm then goes off away to continue her duty without saying anything. It’s definitely a fun memory to recall
• If you’re someone introspective, then you have more similarities to her than you can ever imagine. She zones quite out a lot — not because she’s bored, but because her mind gets caught on a thread and follows it somewhere else — because of how she might loses track of time thinking about something small that no one else notices just yet. Maybe you might do the same, or maybe you actually pick that habit up from her first. Sometimes you might catch her staring off into nowhere as the conversation is being dragged on. Don’t take offense to it, she can’t really control her mind when it keeps going somewhere else entirely. Her inner world is louder than the outside one. She doesn’t forget people are there in the conversation, she just forgets that they expect something from her. They want her to speak her mind, and she can’t really be bothered enough to give them an answer. She assumes people won’t understand her mind even if she tells them anyway, but maybe you do
• Sometimes if she isn’t busy, she is going to take you to go somewhere less bustling than the inner city of Crossroad, usually somewhere near the border of the city. Why, you might ask? It’s for stargazing, of course! Stargazing is something that she enjoys during times like this. With too many lights in the inner city of Crossroads, stargazing there is as futile as encouraging a chicken to fly, so the further she gets you away from the city’s busy nightlife, the more likely you both will see some glimpse of stars up on the sky. She believes there’s something honest in stargazing, something that doesn’t require any big motivational speeches or glamorous moments and yet it’s still be able to bring people closer. You don’t need to say much. She won’t either. But somehow, you’ll both leave knowing more than when you arrived. During times like that, her monologue of star scrying that she has picked up somewhere in the past shall shine, as she too will explain each constellation to you. And when the night has slumbered long enough, she might let the sky speaks for her. Just enjoy the serenity of the moment, you will miss it soon. And don’t worry if you end up falling asleep later on, Ghosdeeri is always there to carry you back home where you are welcomed with warm blankets
• Ghosdeeri doesn’t oppose to you wanting to put some trinkets on her horns, or just her head in general, if you’re asking. She might blink in mild confusion at you the first time you ask her about it, pondering in her mind because she isn’t sure why you want to put something on her horns like that. It’s not even her real horns, the part of her physical appearance that she has chosen like how she chooses the pumpkin head — yeah, those things are attached together, for your information — but still, she won’t stop you. Some Inphernal might make a fuss about their own horns since it holds other vulnerable meaning to them. But that of hers isn’t even an actual set of horns. So to her, it doesn’t feel like a boundary being crossed. Ghosdeeri sees it as a harmless ritual. A bit strange, maybe, but not entirely unwelcome. She doesn’t fully understand why it matters to you, but she doesn’t need to. She accepts it simply due to the fact that you want to do it. And that alone is enough. She won’t make a big deal of it, just stays still while you work, adjusting her posture so it’s easier for your hands to reach. Maybe she’ll ask once if it’s too heavy, but otherwise, she won’t comment. Sometimes she even let them hang when she’s going out because she doesn’t bother to take the accessories off. It’s not a problem that she has to get rid of anyway. And well, Traffic definitely has quite the laugh at that scene
• Speaking of that, you have definitely met Traffic before, whether it’s before or after Ghosdeeri has taken you under her wing. He is quite easy to get along with from the start with that laidback attitude in a way that made everything feel less tense, like he has known you for longer than he actually has. Traffic is pretty intrigued on how did Ghosdeeri come to the decision of taking care of you, but in a positive tone, don’t worry. Traffic might strike you as those type of uncle who looks too irresponsible to take care of a kid yet is actually pretty chill. He will tells stories of his travels in details even when they sound kinda ridiculous, then laughs in that certain way which makes you want to laugh with him, even if you’re not sure why. Ghosdeeri can vouch for Traffic’s natural ability to get along with good folks. Sometimes he even takes the chance to give you some valuable life lessons between ‘mortal to mortal’ since he knows Ghosdeeri won’t ever tell you about it because it’s not really her thing. Though it’s not even clear whether he’s joking or giving advice. Sometimes he even pokes fun at Ghosdeeri lighthearted when he’s telling you about her. Don’t worry, she won’t deny it. Yet she won’t confirm it either. But the way she stays silent is answer enough on how accurate Traffic’s word is
• She hopes that you can get along well with Lightblox. It’s not like Ghosdeeri expects closeness between the two of you right away, but because she knows how important it can be for Lightblox and maybe you too. She sees the odd weight of which Lightblox seem to make herself carries all the times, even when there’s no clear reason for it — and though Ghosdeeri has never asks her goddaughter to be anything different — she wonders if having someone nearby, someone like you, might help lighten the situation, even if just slightly. Under Ghosdeeri’s eyes, she feels like maybe since both of you are technically her kids, even not related by blood, you two can rely on each other like how siblings usually do. You and Lightblox are probably different, that’s a fact, yet not too much of it to declare that a sibling bond between you and her is impossible. She doesn’t need you to understand Lightblox completely, she just hopes you’ll be patient with her like how Ghosdeeri did. Lightblox is soft in a way that bruises easily, and she knows it. All of them know it. That’s why Ghosdeeri places a quiet trust in you. Not because she expects you to fix anything, but to be present. If this sibling dynamics work between you and her, then it’s more than enough
• The four of you would definitely make an interesting family dynamic since almost none of you all are too similar in personality, let alone ideals. Ghosdeeri is calm and composed, yet emotionally restrained. Traffic, by contrast, is more expressive, often using humor and casual conversation to connect with others. Lightblox is reclusive, sensitive, and often overwhelmed by external stimuli. You, being placed among them, serve as a flexible presence that somehow brings them together. Even when it sounds absurd, yet it does make you feel like it actually makes sense despite the differences between everyone: Ghosdeeri brings structure, Traffic eases tension, Lightblox evokes care, and your presence allows those connections to coexist naturally. It is not an arrangement that anyone could just predict out of the blue, but it like it’s mentioned, the whole thing functions with its own quiet logic. And before you know it, this little unconventional family of yours begins to resemble something natural familial. It feels right at home
• She doesn’t show you much of her thoughts, but she genuinely cares a lots about you. Ghosdeeri’s love was never in the obvious places. Affectionate words are something almost completely out of her league. It’s not in gestures you’d recognize at first glance, honestly. She was never taught the right shapes for affection, maybe it’s because of how she has specifically taken care of Lightblox too. For someone who doesn’t understand the impact of feeling, she decided on the safer route: To handle carefully without coming off as too much. So that’s what she does. She watches, she remembers, she does her best in ways you might not notice until much later. You might notice it in the way she checks if you’ve had been taking care of yourself, without asking directly. Or how she lingers nearby when you’re upset, not saying much, as she just tries to provide you some company. She won’t ask what’s wrong— she won’t know how —but she’ll stay longer than she needs to. She’ll offer something practical that can come off as a tad bit too simple like a glass of water, a light left on or trinket she finds and thinks you will like it. Not too affectionate, as most people know it, but care in the only form she can manage
• She knows that you’re a mortal, no need to remind her of that. Ghosdeeri knows that one day she will have to be the one who bids you a farewell as you walked into the hands of the afterlife, and the thought of losing you will definitely sadden her. But alas, she understands the cycle of life and death too well. As the creation of Death himself, when she thinks about that possibility, something makes her mind rather heavy. It’s not that she expects it to happen soon so she doesn’t care, but she doesn’t really know what might happen afterwards. Grief? No, not really. Your death is another part of the rhythm she’s spent a lifetime observing. The thought of losing someone so dear to her is definitely heavy, yet she knows better than to be solemn. Death will welcome you to the afterlife, free you from mortal’s bound and to give you a well-deserved rest after so long. And though she may never say it, there’s a strange kind of comfort in the fact that she will be the one to stay behind. Not because she wants you to go, but because if someone has to carry the memory of you, it might as well be her, no?
• Overall, Ghosdeeri definitely has a lot of things to be aware about when it comes to looking after someone like you. But it’s not a bad experience, quite the opposite, if she may clarify. Your existence has definitely taught her new things that she doesn’t really know how to explain when it comes to complexity of individual, as well as the bound they share — be it mutually or not — to other living beings. Ghosdeeri might not understand the patterns of those things since she has to get used to acknowledging her swallow emotions that is barely there at first, but with you, maybe she can try. For the sake of you and this happiness of you, which she shall provide by being a guardian figure to you. Earning your trust is already quite the achievement, and seeing you grow up with the people she has known, it brings Ghosdeeri a foreign warmth in her core that resides in her chest. That something might be a parental responsibility, peace or even happiness. Whatever it is, it definitely doesn’t seem too bad at all
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