#ghost michael

[aizhits]

.

Collage of God's!

Michael The God of Madness! <3

Hes out of touch

[nothingatallspecialinanyway]

Lifeless | M.C Part 5

Parts:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4

Warnings: Suicide, self harm, descriptions of bullying.

Michael’s POV

We were lying on the bed, I was cuddled into her side as she held me in her arms. She had insisted that we move from the cold bathroom tiles to somewhere more comfortable. 

So there we were, cuddled up together on her bed. I didn’t question it, I was just enjoying her embrace.

I had my head buried in her neck. She ran her fingers through my hair gently. It was her little acts of comfort and affection that made me realise.

She knows almost nothing about me, she doesn't know what I did or how I died, she doesn’t know why I was so upset.

I can tell she's curious, it obvious from the look in her eye, but she has never explicitly asked me about my past. She hasn’t pressured me to tell her anything.

She’s told me many stories about her life before moving here, stories that I cherish because she chose to share them with me. 

Yet she has asked for nothing in return, I guess she assumes I’ll talk when I’m ready. 

I never thought I would be ready. I planned to keep my secrets bottled up for the rest of eternity. Although now I’m not so sure I want to. 

Should I tell her?

No you can’t tell her, she’ll think you're pathetic. She’ll finally see you for the loser you really are.

No she wouldn’t, she cares about me.

She pities you. You think she would care about you if you weren’t trapped in her apartment, she’s stuck with you lonely little ghost boy.

No. No. NO.

I feel my body tense as I fight the conversation in my head.

“Mikey, what’s wrong” she says softly as she rubs my tense shoulders.

“Nothing” I state. 

I can’t tell her.

“I know you’re lying. Whatever it is you can tell me, it’s not good to keep everything bottled up” she replied gently, her beautiful eyes looking into mine.

I have to tell her.

No you can’t.

I have to, she deserves to know.

I shift my body so that I am sat upright, she mirrors my actions, untangling her body from mine. She sits so that she is facing me. She gently takes my hands in hers, running her soft fingers over my knuckles.

“I died here.” I look down at our hands “In the bathroom” I say my gaze flickering to the door which was slightly ajar.

“There was so much blood Y/N. So much” I felt my voice cracking.

Her hands gently squeezed mine in reassurance.

“I remember the feeling as the blood drained from my wrists and onto the bathroom floor. I remember watching as they removed my lifeless body from the ground.”

“I was trying to escape, but I ended up trapping myself instead.”

“Escape?” concern and confusion filled her face.

“I was trying to leave this world Y/N, I couldn’t take it anymore, Calum was the only friend I had, everyone else thought I was a loser, they would humiliate him for hanging out with me.”

Her lips were slightly parted in shock, her eyes filled with sadness.

“I put up with their words for a long time, they said I’d die alone, that nobody would ever love me because I’m a loser. Then one day I realised they were right.” I looked down at the bed, not being able to hold eye contact any longer.

“Nobody could ever love me” I mutter.

I feel a warm hand on my cheek, tilting my head up so that she could look at me. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

“Michael, I love you” she says as the tears finally spill.

“You may have convinced yourself that you’re worthless Michael, but you’re not. Not to me. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. Nobody understands me like you do Michael. I have fallen completely in love with you so don’t say nobody could ever love you, because I do” the tears were staining her cheeks as her emotions spilled from her lips.

She loves me. The beautiful woman I have been infatuated by, loves me in return.

“You love me?” my voice is full of disbelief.

She nods her head, leaning closer to me so that our faces are merely inches apart.

“I love you too” I breathe out as a tear rolls down my cheek.

She closes the distance between us. Her soft lips press against mine.

 A burst of warmth flowed through me, I could feel it everywhere. My body was tingling with the warmth that she had created.

Eventually she pulls back and looks into my eyes, I look at her with nothing but adoration. She pulls me into a tight embrace, I can smell the sweet scent of her shampoo as I tuck my head into her neck. God she smells beautiful.

We stay like that for a while, just holding each other.

When she does pull away, she lies back down, gesturing for me to lie with her. I join her, pulling her into my arms. I watch as her breathing steadied and she drifts to sleep.

I hold her close, closing my eyes to savour the moment. As I cuddle with her, I feel a strange wave of tiredness wash over me. It was a feeling I hadn't felt since I died. I surrender to it, falling into a peaceful sleep wrapped in the arms of the woman who managed to love me.

Masterlist

[nothingatallspecialinanyway]

Lifeless | M.C Part 4

Parts:  1  |  2  |  3

Michael’s POV

I can’t believe she found him. She found my best friend, my only friend besides her. I like to think that she is my friend now.

We were sat on the couch playing fifa like the old days. The match had just finished, Calum turned to me.

“So Y/N huh?” he says with a smirk and a quirked brow.

“Shut up” I say throwing a cushion at his head.

He quickly picks it up, throwing it back at me. I disappear before it can hit me.

“Hey! That’s not fair” he exclaims.

I just chuckle, poking my tongue out at him. “Being a ghost has it’s benefits” I shrug.

Calum smiles at me.

It felt so good to be with him again, it was like nothing had changed.

“But seriously though man, even I can see Y/N’s perfect for you and I only met her this morning” he says raising an eyebrow at me.

I just shrug.

Calum obviously meant to be positive but that’s when everything dawned on me. I had been so mesmerised by her I hadn’t fully understood the extent of the situation I was in.

“Well it doesn’t matter though does it, I’m fucking dead Calum.” I shout, I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it.

“I can’t be with her. I thought her being here was great, but I’ve just realised this is worse than me being trapped here. I’m trapped here watching the woman, who is probably the love of my life, live out her life without me” I turn away from him, not wanting him to see the sadness in my eyes.

“Mike. It doesn’t have to be that way. She found me, for you. She said she just wanted to make you happy. She cares about you Mike.” He says gently, obviously trying to calm me down.

“Yeah she cares about me, but she could never love me.” I retort. “Nobody could ever love me” I mutter to myself, my voice breaking as the painful memories resurface. I feel my body start to shake.

“Calum I appreciate you coming and we should do this again but I need to be alone right now” I say through gritted teeth.

“Mike?” Calum reaches out to try and soothe me but I move away.

“Just go Calum.” I shout.

Calum looked startled by my sudden change of mood.

“Please” I breath with a shaky voice.

Calum remains silent as he walks out the door, the concern filling his eyes.

I move to the bathroom, sliding my back down the side of the bath so that I sit on the cold floor. The position was all too familiar. I couldn’t help the tears that started to soak my skin.

Y/N’s POV

I gave them around an hour, I would have given them longer but it was getting dark and it was freezing outside.

I let myself in, the apartment is strangely quiet. The TV’s turned off and I can’t see Michael or Calum anywhere. I walk through to the bedroom, looking for any sign of them. Calum was nowhere to be seen and Michael had disappeared.

It was then that I heard it. Muffled sobs. I followed the source of the noise to the bathroom. I slowly opened the door.

I felt my heartbreak at the sight I was met with. Michael was curled up in a a ball on the floor, his head in his hands as he cried. He didn’t notice my presence. I had no idea how long he had been like this. Did things go bad with Calum? Maybe I shouldn’t of interfered.

“Mikey, are you okay?” I say gently, sitting down next to him.

He looks up at me, a little startled by my presence. He sniffs and rubs his hands over his eyes. “I’m fine” he states, not looking directly at me.

“Bullshit” I cough.

A small smile appears on his lips as he breathes a laugh.

“Let’s just say that Calum unintentionally brought up some painful memories” he sighs, staring at the tiled floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I suggest, trying not to push him.

He shakes his head.

“Okay, well I’m here whenever you decide that you do” I say with a reassuring smile.

He smiles back but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

I don’t push it any further, I don’t know anything about Michael's past, and I don’t want to pressure him into telling me before he is ready to face it. So instead I do the only thing I can do, try and soothe that pain.

I wrap my arm around his shoulders, gently resting my head on his shoulder.

Michael’s POV

My body fills with warmth as she wraps her arm around me. I feel her cheek against my shoulder. The warmth was indescribable, I had been cold for so long that it felt foreign.

Wait. She’s touching me.

I can feel her soft skin against me.

My head snaps up, I look at her, she doesn't realise how revolutionary her action was. I don’t know how this is possible. Calum couldn’t touch me this morning, so what’s changed to allow her to touch me now? Part of me doesn't care, I just don't want this feeling to end. I want to be able to hold her close for the rest of eternity.

She suddenly gasps, the reality of the situation obviously having dawned on her.

“I can- I can touch you” she says with wide eyes.

She shuffles her body along the floor so that she is sat in front of me, her legs either side of mine. She gently takes my hands in hers, gently running her fingers over my palms and knuckles. Warmth sparked from everywhere she touched, sending tingling sensations up my arms.

She looked into my eyes, god her eyes are beautiful, twinkling with curiosity. She was silently asking if I had an answer to why I could suddenly touch her, but I didn’t have one to give.

She let go of my hands and moved to cup my cheek. I was surprised, not expecting her to caress me so tenderly, but I loved every second of it. I wanted it to be like this forever, just me and her. I want to hold her in my arms and push her hair behind her ear when it falls over her face and all those other cliche acts of affection.

Reality hits me, snapping me from my optimistic thoughts. I may be able to hold her now but it doesn’t change the fact that she could never love a guy like me.

Masterlist

[nothingatallspecialinanyway]

Lifeless | M.C Part 3

Parts:  1  |  2

Michael's POV

Y/N’s amazing. I have known her for just under a month but I feel like we have been best friends for years. She’s funny, beautiful, and a complete idiot like me. I feel so much happier with her around and it makes me wonder what she was doing when I was alive.

We haven’t really addressed the whole ‘I’m a ghost’ thing since the night we properly met. I haven’t told her how or why I died, I don’t want to burden her with that, I don’t want her to see me differently. She makes me feel almost normal and I don’t want that to change, I don’t want her to pity me.

I glance to her laptop screen. She had her Facebook open. I hadn’t touched social media since I died. I guess people would find it weird if they were receiving messages from beyond the grave.

I contemplate it, while I can’t talk to anyone, it doesn't mean I can’t see how my friends, well friend, is getting on. I quickly search ‘Calum Hood’. I find his profile, scrolling down to see what he had posted recently. There was a picture of the two of us together, it was one of the few pictures we had together. It was posted a few days after I died, there were comments but I dare not read them. I couldn’t relive the pain of what probably resides there.

“Michael” I hear her voice ring loudly through the apartment.

“Yeah” I shout back.

“Can you get me a towel, I’m stranded in the shower” she shouts back.

I can’t help but chuckle. I go and grab a towel from the closet before handing it through the bathroom door and waiting outside.

“How does one manage to forget a towel when going to shower, it’s the only thing you have to take with you” I chuckle.

“Oh shut up, I just forgot to bring one in with me and when I realised it was too late”

I heard the shower shut off. Moments later she walks into the bedroom in her towel. Water droplets glistened on her shoulders. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head, a few strands falling around her face. She tried to blow them out of the way. God she looked insanely hot and adorable at the same time.

“Do you want something to eat?” I ask as I move to leave the room so she can get dressed.

She just turns and gives me a large grin. I turn away and go to make her breakfast.

I was just finishing the bacon sandwich when she walks through and sits down on the couch.

She briefly looks at the laptop in front of her before closing the lid down and putting her feet on the coffee table.

“Your sandwich m’lady” I say bowing before her as I extend the plate out to her.

She giggles, taking the plate from me. “Why thank you kind sir” she responds bowing her head at me.

I take a seat next to her. “It smells amazing” she says.

“I wouldn’t know” I mumble.

She quirked her head, her face inquisitive. “Can you not smell anything?” she asks.

I shake my head. “I can’t smell, I can’t sleep, I can’t touch anything living” I sigh.

She seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying.

She takes a bite. She groans. “This is delicious” she moans as she takes another bite.

I smile. Just being around her makes me happy.

Y/N’s POV

Calum Hood. That is who Michael had searched. I assumed he was a friend.

When Michael was god knows where I loaded up Calum’s profile. I wanted to know more about Michael. I had a long list of questions about him and his life but I didn’t want to ask. I don’t want to bring up anything he’s uncomfortable with so I assume he will tell me when he’s ready, after all, we are living together. Kind of.

I scroll though Calum’s page, there are pictures of him with Michael. I click on one where they are both stood with a drink in their hands, Calum’s arm draped over Michael’s shoulder. Michael was smiling.

His occupation was listed as a barista at a local Starbucks. I recognised the coffee shop from a photo of him in his apron. It was the Starbucks I visit occasionally on the way to work.

I decide to try and make contact with this Calum guy. It was clear that he and Michael were close and as Michael can’t leave the house it may be nice for him to talk to someone that isn’t me.

-

The next day I leave early to go to work. I want to make sure I have enough time to stop by the coffee shop in the hopes of catching Calum. I don’t even know if he’ll be working this morning, but it’s worth a try.

I walk through the door, the sweet aroma of coffee engulfs me. There’re not many people in the shop this morning. Weird, as there is usually never a shortage of people grabbing their morning coffee.

I recognise him immediately. His tall form towering over the counter in front of him.

I approach the counter. He straightens up and gives me a warm smile.

“Hello, what can I get for you?” he says cheerily. Clearly forced on his part due to it being early in the morning.

I realised that I didn’t want any coffee, but I couldn’t not buy anything.

“Just a chocolate muffin please” I smile, pulling out my purse from my bag.

He smiles and goes to get my muffin. I hand over the money to him, for once I had the correct change.

“Thank you, Calum right?” I say.

He slowly nods his head, confusion washing over his face.

I noticed he wasn’t wearing a name badge. Oh god he must think I’m weird.

“I don’t mean to be rude but how do you know my name?” he asks warily.

Well it’s now or never.

“You’re Michael’s friend right?” I say.

His face goes blank, his eyes holding a cold stare. He takes a deep breath.

“Look. If you’ve come to make fun of him, or me I sug-”

“Why would I make fun of him?” I cut him off, genuinely confused.

“Never mind” he brushes me off. “Who are you exactly?” he asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Oh, I’m Y/N I just moved into Michael’s apartment” I say, like that would explain anything. I really should've planned this a bit better.

“Look I’m here because, Michael misses you and he wants to see you” I say.

His glare intensifies. “If you think this is some kind of sick joke.” he growls.

“It’s not I swear. I know he died and this must sound crazy, but he’s still there. He was looking at you Facebook profile earlier. I pretended not to notice but it’s obvious you were his best friend. I’m sure he wants to see you please. It must suck to have to stay in that shitty apartment 24/7. Please I just want to make him happy.” I say desperately.

Calum stares at me blankly as he contemplates my words.

“Fine, but if you’re lying I swear to god-” he says sternly.

“Thank you” I smile, thankful that he had somewhat believed my crazy story.

“I’ll stop by this afternoon.” he says, he seemed deep in thought.

“Thank you, you won't regret this “I say as I walk out the door and head to work.

I return home from work to find Michael in his usual spot on the couch. I swear he is going to make my electricity bill go through the roof with all the Xbox playing. “Hey” he shouts as he hears me come through the door.

“Hey” I say as I come and slump down on the couch next to him.

“How was work?” he asks, his eyes remain focused on the screen.

“Boring as fuck” I say. He chuckles

There is a knock at the door. It must be Calum. I get up to open the door, I look over to Michael who was now stood in the corner of the room, staring at the door.

I open it. Calum is stood there, his face unreadable. I open the door, gesturing for him to come in.

I hear Michael gasp from his corner. I look over to him, his eyes are wide as he stares at Calum. Calum looks around the room, it’s obvious he doesn’t see Michael standing there.

“So where is he?” he asks bluntly, looking at me. I don’t answer him.

“Michael why can’t he see you?” I say looking at the boy stood wide eyed in the corner.

“Because I’m not letting him see me” he mutters in explanation.

I raise my eyebrow at him.

Calum looks confused, which is understandable as from his point of view I’m talking to a wall.

I hear Calum gasp beside me, I assume Michael has decided Calum can see him.

“Michael?” Calum breaths in disbelief.

“It’s good to see you man” Michael says walking towards Calum. Calum goes to hug Michael but his arms go straight through him. Michael smiles sadly, obviously wanting to hug his best friend.

“You’re a g-ghost” Calum stutters, obviously trying to process the situation he had found himself in.

“Well no shit Sherlock” Michael chuckles. Calum laughs as well.

“What are you doing here man? I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Y/N came by work this morning looking for me-” Calum begins.

Michael’s head turns to look at me. His eyes held an emotion I couldn’t read.

“You found Calum for me?” Michael says in disbelief. He looked like he was about to cry but he was holding it back.

“Well.” I shrugged. I could see Calum’s gaze flickering between us out of the corner of my eye. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to catch up” I smile as I walk out of the apartment. I had no idea where I was going to go, maybe just a walk in the park, I just needed to stop being a third wheel and let them catch up.

Masterlist

[bringmeirwin]

shine bright like Michael Clifford