CW: mentions of anxiety, paranoia, it’s pretty mundane this chapter
Edited? Yes
A/n: thank you to a reader, I fixed a mistake. In chapter 3 I completely forgot that I said that reader was friends with Simons friends, that being Price, Gaz, and Johnny. I fixed that, reader hasn’t met Simons friends. We’re making it canon that reader had never met Simon’s friends due to Simon being hesitant for reader to meet his military friends. 😅😅😅
Previous <- -> Next (tbc)
S. Masterlist
8 months
November, 2019
Since the spotting of the truck, you grew more paranoid, checking your rear view mirrors while your drive every few minutes, checking your surroundings before you got out your car, locking your car immediately upon entering it, and always checking over your shoulder out in public. Even at home, you found yourself double checking all the locks on your windows and door— placing a chair in front of your bedroom door before you went to sleep. It was beginning to get to you, your anxiety was constant. Your sleep— which was already difficult just by the baby alone, she made some nights hard to sleep. Either you couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep, or the baby would kick you causing you discomfort and pain. Now every little thing woke you up, you became such a light sleeper that a simple tapping on your window would send your body jolting awake with adrenaline— only to realize it was the tapping of the tree branch against your window from the wind.
You found your mental state growing worse with each passing day, mornings were hard for you to get up and get ready for work. It felt like you were being weighed down by everything in your life. Constantly stressing about saving money, needing to have enough money to pay rent and utilities. You had to worry about future financial matters too, once the baby arrives. To top all of it all, you might have a stalker too.
After another day at work, you sigh as you place away remaining paper work back into the file cabinet. You check your watch seeing the time strike 4:30. Finishing your task at hand— you walk back to your desk. Grabbing your purse and lunch bag, you hear your phone chime your bag.
Pulling it out of your purse, you read your phone seeing a notification on your lock screen appear.
Rent Due!!
You sigh and place your phone back in your purse. Grabbing your car keys you begin to walk out the office. Bidding a few of your coworkers a “Goodnight.” With a smile before exiting the building and into the staff parking lot.
Get to your car, like clockwork— you check your surroundings before getting in and hitting the lock button the moment you close the door. Starting your car and driving off, you begin to head to the bank to pull out cash for your rent.
Once you got your money you head straight back home, driving up to the front office of your apartment. Stepping out the car, you walk up to the front door and enter. Walking to the woman at the front desk, who was writing down things in her clipboard before her eyes look up upon hearing the front door creak open as you walk in.
“Hello.” She greets you with her usual smile.
You smile back and bring out a white envelope holding your monthly rent. “Hi, I’m just here to pay this months rent.” You say.
The woman nods her head and looks over to her computer, typing in on her keyboard. “Perfect,” she says as she clicks her mouse a few times. “Name and apartment number?” She asks you.
You tell her your full name and apartment number, watching as she types in your information. She then hold out her left hand towards you to take the envelope, to which you had over. She opens the envelope, simultaneously flipping a few pages in her binder. Reaching you page, she suddenly pauses— her brows furrow as she lets out an uncertain hum. “It appears you’ve already paid for this months rent…” She tells you.
You blink as confusion now etches on your face. “I haven’t paid yet, I think there’s a mistake.” You tell her.
She bites her lip before turning over to the cabinet file. “Let me see,” she mutters before pulling open a file drawer searching for your apartment number file before pulling out a paper. She scans over the paper before her brows raise. “Actually, your rent has been covered for the entirety of your lease, starting this month.” She says in surprise as she looks up at you only to see you with the same baffled look.
“I— sorry I’m confused. I haven’t sent any kind of money to cover that much worth of rent. Are you sure?” You ask her.
She nodded and placed the paper in her hand over to you on the counter. She pointed to all the months your rent that has been paid, it was all the way until your lease ended. “That’s almost ten grand worth of rent!” You say in shock as your eyes scan the paper seeing every month had been paid in full. “Do you happen to know who exactly paid this?” You ask her.
The woman can only shake her head. “I’m not too sure, do you have someone else living with you?” She asks you.
You shake your head. “No it’s just me— and my baby.” You tell her.
The woman seemed to chuckle. “Well, I’d say you had someone looking out for you without you knowing. Honestly I wouldn’t be worried about it, you’re practically living rent free now. You’re a lucky gal.” The woman tells you as she places your paperwork back into your file, then handing you the envelope back to you.
You take it with hesitance as you stand there, continuing to have trouble processing the information. The woman looks at you with an awkward smile, “You alright Miss?” She asks you.
You break out of your thoughts and shake your head. “No— yes, yes I’m fine— sorry— thank you.” You tell her before walking out of the office. You return to your car and sit in a long silence. Staring at the envelope in your hand, your mind begins to ponder. Could it be… was it Simon? Did he somehow find you? It’s impossible to think some random person would just waltz in and offer to pay someone’s entire lease worth of rent. Not unless they know you— or have been watching you…
Could it have been the person in the truck? What if that person is Simon??
The thought makes your heart jump, racing, as you fish out your phone from your purse. You unlock it and stare at the screen for a moment before you open up the your contacts, scrolling down until your eyes read a familiar contact name. Simons contact.
You haven’t deleted it, you couldn’t bring yourself to— part of you having hope that one day he’d call you or text you. You stare at the name, reading “hubby” with a black heart next to it, the contact photo being of you two lying in bed, snapping a photo of him as you lay on his chest. You puckered your lips as you lean in to kiss his cheek, while Simon looks at you with a smile on his face.
He was too distracted with you to notice you had snapped the picture. Of course he heard the snap noise of the phone and immediately began to complain and begged you to delete it. Simon was never one for pictures but he had no problem taking pictures of you. You argued with him saying it was unfair— claiming it was only fair since he always took pictures of you, which quickly made him shut up and finally give up and let you keep the photo.
Your finger hovers over the call button as you contemplate on calling him, your anxiety rising as you thought about it. Would he even answer? Would he just let it ring or decline? Does he even have the same phone number anymore? You thought more about it but eventually, you couldn’t bring yourself to call him.
Sighing, you close the app and shut your phone off. You lean forward in your seat and rest your forehead on the steering wheel. Sitting in the silence of your car, closing your eyes as you tried to calm your nerves. You don’t want to get your hopes up but what if it really was him? Then you thought about the truck. It can’t be a coincidence.
Is he following me?
“You’re certain it’s the same truck?”
You sigh and place a small bag of fresh tomatoes in your cart, adding more to the cart with the rest of your groceries. “I’m sure, it had the same shiny new car look, about as big as I remembered last time, and— the trucks windows were cracked opened with cigarette smoke coming out from inside just like the first time I saw it.” You say turning to Stacy as she picked a few fresh cucumbers before placing the in the little baggie provided for produce. “There wasn’t a license plate on the front though…”
Placing the baggie in her own cart, she glances at you. Her face etched with concern— but also hesitance as she found it odd to believe that someone could be following you simply by spotting the same exact truck twice.
“I’m just saying, maybe it’s was just a coincidence. This may be a big city but I’ve run into a few strangers I’ve recognize before more than once.” Stacy adds trying to reassure you, maybe even herself, “Have you noticed anything weird at your house?”
That’s when you remembered about your rent. You suddenly spin around and rush up directly to face her— Stacy staring at you a bit startled at your sudden action. Your eyes wide as you place your hands on her upper arms, holding them with a steady grip. “My rent,” You say with a low voice. She raised a brow. “Someone paid my rent, all the rent till the end of my lease!” You say in a whisper yell, your anxiety evident in your voice.
It’s then that Stacy looks at you with the exact same baffled expression. “That’s almost a whole year!” She exclaims.
You nodded as your release your grip from her. “Yes! Last week I went in to pay my rent for this month but the lady said that all my rent was covered till the end of my lease. I tried asking if she knew who paid it off but the only information she could gather was that the money was placed in the deposit box outside the office and there was a note in the envelope it was in, notifying the office that the money was intended to cover the rest of my rent up until the lease ended.”
Stacy seemed at a loss for words, she was in her thoughts before she turned to you. “Do you think it’s…” she replied as her voice trailed off.
“Simon? I’m not too sure but that’s the only possible explanation, aside from you and simon, I don’t know anyone else.” You tell her.
Stacy pursed her lips as the two of you continue to walk around the store, pushing your respective carts along. “(Yn), you really need to be careful, if things starting escalating don’t hesitate to tell me, I can have you come back home with me and if we need to, find you another place to live.”
You stay quiet as you continue walking. You’re not sure if you really could leave. You’re practically living for free now until next year, that’s a once in a lifetime opportunity you couldn’t pass up on. For now you’ve focusing on doing nothing but saving and setting money aside, taking advantage of the opportunity.
“So, if I’m not mistaken, you think it’s Simon— that’s also in the truck, watching you?” She asks you.
You look at Stacy and shrug your shoulders. “I think so, but part of me doesn’t want to overthink it. A part of me feels… almost hopeful to think that he still cares enough to check up on me and possibly cover of my rent, but— it’s somewhat disturbing to know that he could possibly be…stalking me.” you say looking down glancing at your belly, since your bump has now hidden your feet when standing up.
Stacy looks at you, worry etched on her face. She’s worried for yours and the baby’s well being and safety, if your ex boyfriend is truly stalking you, which made a chill run down her spine. He’s in the military, she doesn’t know what his ranking is but she prays he isn’t taking advantage of, if any, technology he could have access to— using it to track you down and stalk you…
“Just be safe please— and call me if anything.” Stacy says as you both meet each other’s gaze. You nod in agreement.
“I promise.” You tell her.
You both finally got what you both needed on your own grocery lists and make your way to the checkout line. You both line up at the register with the shortest line, stay ahead of you first, you right behind her— another person line up behind you, you can see them come in through the corner of your eye but you pay no mind.
“Oh,” Stacy speaks up, catching your full attention. There’s a man ahead of her, currently getting his items scanned— Stacy turns to you as you stand on the side of your cart. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, Jared and I were talking about it but weren’t sure if your wants one— would you want a baby shower?” She asks you.
You press your lips in a thin line as you think about it. “I dunno, I mean, even if we had one, it not like it’s gonna be big. I don’t know anyone in my life— with no contacts with our parents, Simon out of the picture, I have absolutely no friends. There’s really no point in having a baby shower…” you say as you look down at the floor, up until you met Simon, you whole life has been bland and boring. You had a feel friends here and there but none of them really stuck around— but then you met Simon, and your whole life revolved around him. Just focusing on him and nothing else, barely going out, never making any friends. You felt you didn’t need anything or anyone else until the day he left. It was rough, you felt alone until you finally managed to reach out to Stacy, then you finally got to see your baby for the first time in the ultrasound, you finally found a purpose in life once again. Being a mother for your baby girl. You feel no other need for anything else, you have your sister in your life and now you’re about to have a baby and become a mother. Friends never once being a topic of discussion up until now.
You really couldn’t have a baby shower now, the only people you could invite is just Stacy and Jared. That’s it.
“I can invite my friends and Jared’s friends and family.” Stacy offers.
You shake your head however, “No, that’s would just be odd. Inviting people I don’t know. Do you know how odd it sounds to be invited to a friends sister baby shower, they don’t know me and I don’t want them to feel obligated to have to buy me and the baby stuff.” You say.
Stacy sighs and looks at you with a sympathetic expression as you avoid her gaze. You can’t look at her, keeping your eyes glued to the floor as you feel slight embarrassment and loneliness overcome you.
Stacy decided to drop the topic and instead change the subject. “Well, I was thinking, I saw this cute little store down at the mall the other day, they just opened, and I think you could find a few cute things…” Stacy goes on to tell you. You’re half listening, to caught in your thoughts until—
Thud
You hear something dull fall behind you, you turn around to see a small package of meat on the floor. You kneel down and pick it up before standing up and seeing a man standing behind you. His back was to you, he failed to notice the item he dropped.
Immediately you take notice of his rather large build, like Simon but slightly bigger, bulky muscles, he’s even as tall as Simon but slightly shorter. It was then you noticed his attire, he was wearing a white compression t-shirt, accentuating his well-defined torso and meaty arms, and then his pants. You notice they’re khaki cargo pants, a black heavy duty belt, and matching heavy duty black boots. It was obvious he was active in the military and he was carrying a hand held basket filed a some groceries in the basket, almost close to overfilling which explains why the meat package had fallen out.
You clear your throat before you speak. “‘Scuse me sir,” you call out to him. Suddenly he turns to you allowing you to see his face in full view. He had brown short hair hints of silver hairs speckled around, blue eyes, his face was withered but handsome, and of course, his astounding very well-groomed mutton chops and mustache. He held as much of an intimidating aura like Simons. “You dropped this.” You say holding the meat package towards him.
He looks at you for a moment, it was odd— he looked almost caught off guard— like he wasn’t expecting you to talk to him, which is reasonable, it’s odd to have a stranger call out to you in any public space. But something about the way he looked at you when you called out to him, it was as if he was slightly spooked, like you caught him in the act of something…
He glances down at your hand seeing the package of meat that he had in his basket. He lefts out a gruff chuckle. “Ah, thank you.” He says, his deep voice broadening his British accent. He slowly takes the package from you, placing it back in his basket. “Loose my own head if it wasn’t attached to me.” He jokes with a small chuckle. “Was too busy lookin’ for my bloody card.” He says holding up a card in one hand, his wallet in the other.
You smile back and laugh softly at his joke. Then you notice the card as he held it up for a short second, taking immediate notice of the familiar design of the card.
It was the same card Simon had, a military discount card. He would use it when you both got groceries or went out to eat. On the days he’d be deployed, he would leave you both the discount card and his credit card for when you needed to buy things. “You’re in the military?” You asks him.
Once again, he looks surprised by your words. Looking at his card he nodded before looking back at you. “Yeah, you noticed.” he says sounding impressed.
You nodded. “Yeah, my—” you pause and correct yourself. “An old friend of mine had one.” You say, glancing over to Stacy, her groceries now getting scanned, with the previous customer having already paid and left. She was eyeing you and the man with a knowing smirk, one that screamed ‘He’s a looker’. You ignore her and turn back to the man.
He nodded and smiled, his mustache bending along with the movement of his facial muscles. “Yeah, very resourceful. ‘Practically get special treatment, almost.” He chuckled.
You both share another small laugh, the conversation naturally ends there, the silence is filled with the sound of distant customers chatting, the beeping of the scanner, and the soft pop music playing over the intercom of the store.
You think the conversation is over, looking back to watch the cashier scan Stacy’s groceries until you hear him speak again.
“Expectin’ a little one soon?” He suddenly says. You look back at him seeing him smile a warm smile. “How exciting.”
She smile back and nodded. “Yeah it’s very exciting, kinda nervous though.” You say, your hand placed over the top of your bump.
“Congratulations,” He glances at your belly, “you having a little lad or lass?”
“A girl.” You respond, he only smiles wider.
“She sure is lucky to have a mother like you, bet she’ll be just as beautiful.” He says with a small nod of his head.
You look at him with a slightly surprised look as you feel your face heat up at the compliment. A small laugh escapes your lips as you look down at the floor, feeling like a school girl with how flustered you are simply by his compliment alone. “Thank you.” You say shyly.
He only nods and watches you with a warm grin.
You’re brought back to your senses as Stacy finished paying and the cashier, an older woman in her fifties, rings you up.
The man focuses on other things around him, decided he’s had a good enough conversation with you while you watch the cashier ring up your items. Filling up a few bags with your things.
Finally finished with scanning your items, she taps a few things on the screen of her register. “$94.65 is your total.” The woman says. You’re not surprised it costs that much, everything seemed to be get more expensive by the day. You nod and open your wallet to pull out your card.
“I’ve got covered.” The man speaks up again, this time using his own debit card and inserting it into the card reader.
You stare at the man in bewilderment, you’re too shocked to say anything. Stacy and the cashier woman staring at the man in the same surprised look, while he simply watched his card payment go through and finalize. His demeanor seeming unfazed and—almost prideful.
“You— you didn’t have to sir.” You tell him but you don’t make any movement of protest seeing the card already go through.
The man pulls his card out and shakes his head with a soft smile. “Don’t stress about it Love. Take it as a gift for you and the little one.” He says placing his card back in his pocket, smiling at you as you continue to staring at him in shock.
The woman breaks you out of your thoughts as the hands you the receipt. “Here you are ma’am.”
You slowly take the receipt before loading the bags into your cart. Before you leave, you turn to the ma as he stood there while his items got scanned. “Thank you so much, can I at least repay you somehow Mr…?” You ask him.
“John,” He tells you, he only chuckled and shook his head.
“And there’s no need— just,” John pauses looking at your bump then your face. “You both take care.”
You can’t say anything back, only finding that you can’t do nothing but just be thankful and accept his generosity and kindness. “Thank you John.” You say with a sincere smile.
Taking your cart you walk away from the register, with your now paid groceries, and see Stacy standing over by the bathrooms, a few feet from you, with a surprised look as you approach. “You should’ve gotten his number.” Stacy says in a low voice as you both begin walking to the front doors of the store.
Stacy glances back over her shoulder to see John was still watching you and Stacy walk away, the same smile plastered to his face.
You shake your head as you seem distracted in your mind. “This is all so confusing…” You mutter under your breath. You only remain silent as you both walk out to the stores parking lot. Walking straight to Stacy’s car, she and you both coming in, in her car. “First my rent, now my groceries. What the hell is going on with my life??” You, shock still evident in your voice.
Stacy smiles at you. “It just seems like the universe is really blessing you during this time.” Stacy says with a smile.
You glance at her with an uncertain glance, you know you should be grateful and happy but something about the rent situation and now this man paying for your groceries, gave you an odd feeling. The fact that he was also in the military only further pushes your suspicions.
Could he be in connection with Simon?
You think to yourself, too far in your own mind to notice the familiar black sleek truck parked further down the parking lot…
Cw: nothing much, just mentions of stalking and slight angst.
A/n: soooo obviously I’m apologizing again for disappearing and taking so long to post this. Just fair warning that chapters will take forever to be published since I’m always busy and has major writers block but I really wanna try to keep up with the content. Love yall <3 I also heavily projected my baby fever in this chapter so I apologize again! ^ ^
Edited? Yes
Previous <- -> Next
S. Masterlist
7 months
October, 2019
It was 9:32, you glance at the clock on your wall as you lay on your couch. You could hear the soft distant noise of crickets outside, the tv playing a show on low volume. It was a comedy show your co worker recommended to you, she claimed the show had her laughing every five minutes or so, you found it entertaining and cracking a small chuckle once in a while but not to the extent your coworker claimed to have been. As you lay on your side, your hand absentmindedly rubs your bump as your eyes bore into the tv screen, you could feel your eyes grow heavy feeling fatigue catch up to you once again.
Your giving into the weight of sleep. Shutting your eyes, you’re close to dosing off until a sudden knock sounds from your door.
You jolt up from the couch, sitting up and looking over to the front door. You stare at your door and pause, waiting for another knock to sound but it’s silence. Was that your imagination, are you beginning to have auditory hallucinations?
Knock, knock, knock
There it is again. Your heart almost leaps out of your chest. Who the hell could be knocking on your door at this time of night?
You remind glued to the couch for another second until you finally get up from the couch. You cautiously walk over to the door, avoid steeping on certain areas of your floor to prevent making any noises, your floors were old enough that certain spots creaked under the weight of your feet. You approach the door and slowly lean in towards the peephole, looking in with your eye you spot a figure standing at your door, wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and covering their face concealing their identify in a dark shadow beneath the fabric. You’re about to walk away from the door to grab your phone and call the cops until the figured head moves and you catch the familiar glimpse of a skull print on the balaclava they’re wearing.
You freeze in your spot.
“Simon.” You whisper.
Suddenly you unlock your door and swing the door open. The figure turns to you quickly, seeming to be startled at the sudden sound of the door opening and your met with the familiar sight of Simon standing before you, wearing his infamous skull balaclava, his brown eyes meet yours, you note how tired and upset he looked. His eyes bearing the weight of guilt in his eyes as he met your gaze.
You feel your heart beating fast and you’re short of breath as you stare him down. It’s a long beat of silence between you both.
Neither of you say a single word until he speaks.
“I’m sorry…” He says, his voice so low and weak, you almost didn’t hear him.
You feel tears prick your eyes as you felt your knees grow weak. Suddenly you’re walking forward and practically jump on him. His arm catch you as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “I missed you so much.” You sob out as your arms wrap around his shoulders tightly.
But then you notice something, it’s odd…
Simon doesn’t smell like himself, in fact he smells like nothing at all. He always had a faint smell of cigarettes, gun powder and his cologne that always had you weak in the knees.
He’s missing the warmth he always had every time you were near him. As a matter of fact, you don’t feel the way his arms wrap around you. What’s going on?
You lean back from the hug and look back at Simon only to see his face disappeared, it’s just a dark void once again concealed under the hood of his sweater. “Simon…” You call out to him but he doesn’t answer.
You look back over to the inside of your house and suddenly you see you’re at your old shared apartment with Simon. But it’s not what you used to remember. The place is empty, dark and cold. The only thing in the room is a couch with a Simon sitting on it, his back to you, his posture slouched over with his elbows propped on his knees.
It’s then it occurs to you, none of this is real.
“Wake up.” Simon says to you, still not Turing to look at you.
You back away, slowly backing out the apartment through the front door. When you step out the apartment you suddenly let loose your balance. The outside world is gone, nothing but an empty black void and your suddenly falling into the void.
You gasps loudly as you jolt awake, your heart pounding against your chest as you sit up. You’re breath heaving as you look around, recognizing your surroundings as your apartment, your tv playing another episode of the same show you were watching before dozing off, your front door is locked and no one is knocking, the lights in your house are off, the tv being the only source of light illuminating your living room in a soft glow, and no one else is in your house. Just you and the baby within you.
You get up and walk over to the front door, the locks still locked just how you left it, the door hinge is locked in place. You stand in front of the door and just stare at the blank white painted door for a long minute, just waiting to hear anything, anyone but there’s no knocking. Just silence.
You peer into the peephole and scan the area. It’s empty, no one there just the night sky, the view of the street in front of your house just ahead of the small grass area in front of your apartment building, the street light illuminates the residential parking lot and you only see the usual cars that belong to you and your neighbors. There’s no one outside.
Your nerves began to calm, relief washing over you but you also feel something else. Disappointment and slight pain, emotional pain. The lack of Simon at your door made your heart ache as you reminisce on your dream, wising and praying that one day soon, that dream will come true. Sure you’re angry at Simon but you know deep in your heart that if he ever showed up at your door you’d do exactly what you did in your dream. Leap into his arms and forgive him a thousand times over in over, in every dream. You pray one day your dreams will come true, you always had.
Ever since you found out about your babys gender, that being a girl, you were practically ecstatic. Having a girl meant having a mini you. You can dress her up as cute as can be, do her hair, as she gets older you both can go on little mother-daughter dates. There’s so much you can do in the future, you could hardly wait for her to arrive soon.
immediately you already imagined and had so many ideas for the nursery, you wanted it to be full nothing but soft pink colors, from toys to clothes. People may think it was over the top, but you couldn’t care less. This was your first and only baby, she was your entire life, a reminiscent of the love you and Simon once shared. Of course, sometimes it’s upsets you to think about all that but soon enough, your relationship and everything about Simon will be nothing but a ghost of the past. At least you hope…
sharing the news to your sister and Jared, they congratulated you on the news. The pair both excited for a new addition to the family, to have a niece to love and help care for.
Life seemed to be good after that. About a month after you found out about the baby’s gender, you soon found an apartment, a two bedroom, maybe not in the best neighborhood but at least the apartment was decent and having two bedrooms meant your baby can have her own room— a room to make a nursery. Moving in was a bit tiring, of course you got a lot of help from Stacy and Jared, the two doing the heavy lifting and setting up the baby’s crib for you. Grated, it was going to be a while before you would have the baby sleep in the crib alone in the room, a few months at least. For the time being you planned to have a bedside bassinet for the baby to sleep in for the first few months after she’s born.
Stacy and Jared were saints, they were very supportive and offered to pay for a lot of the necessary things for the baby. As much as you appreciated it, you didn’t want to take advantage of their kindness and take their money, part of you would feel guilty if you did. You wanted to do this on your own— this was your baby, you want this, you were going to prove to Simon that you can do this on your own, even if he wasn't around to see it. Truthfully, we we're not entirely on your own, you’d have Stacy and Jared helping on the side here and there, but you wanted to try your best to raise your baby on your own for the most part.
It was Sunday, you had gotten paid this past Friday and decided to take a self-care day. Going out getting a decaffeinated drink, your doctor said it was okay to drink one small cup of coffee a day, but you didn’t want to risk anything with the baby, so you’ve personally put coffee off the table until after you’ve had the baby. After stopping at your local coffee shop, you drove to the store. You planned to go to a more popular stores to get the latest baby clothes, other necessities you may need, before going to the thrift store and finding more baby clothes for cheaper. It was also because the thrift store tends to have more cuter and vintage clothing for babies- because let's be real, a lot of the modern baby clothing was too plain and colorless- almost lifeless.
While driving you settled on stopping at HomeGoods since they always had the cutest clothes and decor, maybe you could get a few decorations for the nursery while you were at it. The nursery was done, furniture wise; The crib was set up, the drawers built, a shelf placed to store extra things.
Driving around the large parking lot, you parked in an empty parking spot closest to the store, having noticed the shopping center seemed to lack customers today with only twenty cars parked in the large lot. You noticed the more your belly grew, your walking stamina slowly decreased, you could really only go a couple hours on your feet until they grew tired and swollen and you’d feel the need to take a rest. You’re hoping with the shopping distracting you it’ll keep your mind off the discomfort of your feet until you go home. It didn’t help either that your Job had you sitting for the whole day further preventing you from getting to used to walking for long periods of time.
Once you parked you spent the next hour inside home goods, finding a couple of baby clothes, a cute pastel pink ceramic carousel that you could definitely display on one of the shelves you have in the nursery. You ran across a small picture frame with a cartoon baby sleeping. You figured it would be cute frame to put the baby’s ultrasound picture in and later update it once you have the baby.
Once you found what you could in the store, you brought your items before leaving the store carry two plastic bags. Coming out to the parking lot you began walking towards your car until you stopped dead in your tracks.
The black truck was there again, parked in the next parking lot over directly across from your car. You felt your heart drop. Surely this can’t be the same car. But the longer you looked t he e more you knew you couldn’t be hallucinating.
It had the same new sleek shine to the paint job. Large tires, the same low rumble you heard last time when it was parked from across your job. And worse, the driver window was cracked open again, a tail of smoke seeping out from the window. This was definitely the same exact truck…
You feel adrenaline spike in your body. You quickly move, making a b-line straight to your car. You senses heartened just waiting to hear the trucks doors to open and except a man or two to come running at you.
Thankfully, you quickly unlock your car and slide in with ease. Glancing at the truck while you quickly insert your keys to turn your car on, the truck remains idle still. The tinted windows concealing the identity of who ever was inside, but you could feel their eyes on you sending a chill down your spine.
Shifting your car into drive you swiftly pull out from your parking spot and drive off. Glancing at your rear view mirror, staring down the truck, waiting to see if it’s following you but it remains parked. You in relief and continue driving out of the parking lot, deciding that you were going to cut your shopping trip short after your encounter with the truck. You didn’t wanna risk anything opting to just return home and relax for the rest of the evening, hopefully to get your mind off the possibility you could be getting stalked.
Watching your car drive off, he takes one more puff from his cigar. His eyes remained glued to your car, watching as you drive away until you turn out the parking lot disappearing down the road with the rest of traffic.
He blows out another cloud of smoke, letting the soft breeze from outside air out the tobacco smoke out the car before snuffing it out in the ashtray he had set out on the center console.
He shoves his hand into the pocket of his beige jacket, shuffling in the pocket until his fingers graze the familiar feeling of his phone. Pulling the device out, a burner phone usually used on important missions was now being used for a stupid task to simply keep watch of you and update the big man of your status. He lets out a big sigh as he pulls up his contact. He feels like a creep having to continually observe you from the distance for this guy— but hey, it’s all in good faith. He owes the man a long overdo favor anyways, definitely not because he’s being a good friend and cares for him (and you now-), definitely not.
But christ— he’s not sure he can continue doing this for long. This is the second time you’ve spotted him and it’s clear to him that you’re beginning to catch on. Now’s he’s gotta start being more diligent and careful. He doesn’t want to scare you off and have you doing something drastic should you suspecting him of stalking you.
Pressing the call button he brings the phone to his ear and waits until the dial tone is cut off and the familiar voice of his friend comes through the other end. “Anything new?” The voice on the other end asks.
The man huffs for the upteenth time today, “Nothin’, same shite as usual. She did stop at the store today and I noticed she got a few things for the little bugger.” He tells him, he can hear a light chuckle on the other end, the phone barely picked it up but he managed to hear it. “She did take notice of the truck however, poor thing looked scared to death when she saw it. Fairly sure she’s beginning to catch on.” The man explains as he leans back in the driver seat looking around the shopping center, noticing a random group of teenage boys walking around, obviously looking for trouble with how they laugh obnoxiously loud, two of boys wrestle each other as they walk.
He can hear his friend sigh in annoyance. “Then keep your distance. If she catches onto you, she just may run off. ‘can’t risk that.” His friend tells him. “Keep your distance, if you fuck things up an’ I find out she’s run off, I’ll personally strangle you.”
The man sighs and nodded. “Roger that boss.” He says in response not fazed by the threat.
He bids a goodbye to the man before hanging up. Placing his phone away, he finally starts up his car and drives out the parking lot. You’re long gone now, most likely gone to your house. Of course, he could go to your house and watch you some more but he’s already done enough bird watching. Not to mention, he feels bad enough invading your privacy to a certain extent and now you’re beginning to recognize his truck. You definitely looked scared half to death in that parking lot. So he decides to give you a break and call it a day, besides he’s given his friend enough of an update for today.
Pulling out of his parking spot, he begins to drive out the shopping center, the radio softly playing in the background as he drives.
“The lass sure has taken after his paranoia, that’s for sure.” The man mutters under his breath to himself gruffly as he drives off back to his home.
Cw: swearing, unplanned pregnancy, mentions of abortion, angst, arguments, abandonment, younger Simon, story takes place when he’s 25 and you’re 23.
Edited? No
Pt. 2 here
S. Masterlist
3 weeks and 4 days
March, 2019
“kids?”
“What about them?”
“Would you ever want any?”
It was yours and Simons one year anniversary together. It was nothing special, just some takeout and card games with a movie playing in the back. You don’t know how the conversation of your futures came to be but you both knew it had to be said at some point in your relationship. You had asked what Simon planned to do once he got older and retired from the military. He asked you questions about your plans as you grew older. That’s when you decided to be the one to bring up the very question that tends to either strain or strengthen a relationship, children.
“No. Hard pass. I don’t do well with them nor do I want any of my own.” He never meant to say it with such a rude tone but It didn’t bother you much. You knew that there was a deeper reason why, with the way his brows furrowed and the tension in the shoulders. You wanted him to elaborate more but you decided against it.
“Yeah I’m not too keen on children. At least not right now anyways.” You said placing down your card on the table as Simon continued to examine his cards to find a way to defeat you. He looked at you as you spoke your last words as you kept your eyes on your cards. You liked kids to a certain extent and wouldn’t mind one later on in your life as you settle down or just none at all. You tried not to let Simons words get to you, since you don’t mind a childless life, as long as you had Simon by your side, but sometimes there would be days where you felt lonely without Simon. When he’s deployed to his job. There’s also days where you fear he’ll never come back home and you’d be left with nothing to remember him by but memories, pictures and his possessions. A kid would be something that, not only, would be a piece of him that’s alive, but they would be the physical embodiment of yours and Simons’ love for each other, something that would keep you two tied to each other.
As nice as a child with Simon would be, you respected his wishes and you would have to come to terms with it. It’ll just be you and Simon, growing old together in a little house on the far side of town where no one can bother you. Just you, your grumpy (eventual) husband and your animals to keep you company. Yeah, you could live with that.
Hopefully, if he doesn’t die on the job…
“It’ll just be the two of us and a bunch of animals.”
That’s how you’d thought it’d be. Until it wasn’t.
You sat there on your bed holding the white stick in your hand. The pink plus sign was burning your eyes. You could feel your stomach churning. What the hell were you gonna do? You were panicking.
The past few days, you had been throwing up, Simon suggested you’d go see a doctor, worried you ate something bad or caught some stomach bug but you refused and said you’d be fine thinking it would go away within a few days— however more things surfaced on your body that caught your attention. Your breast grew a cup bigger and felt sore as hell, you assumed it was due to your period, it was due to arrive in a week anyway but you still found it abnormal that your breast swelled more than normal. When the week passed, no bleeding in sight, you tried convincing yourself it was delayed due to your little stomach bug but another week passed. That’s when the thoughts hit you. You couldn’t be right? There’s no way you could be pregnant. You and Simon were always careful.
That same day of realization you went to the drug store just to be sure. You brought three sticks and each one came resulted with the same pink plus sign appearing on the little box. What the hell were you gonna do? How were you going to tell Simon? Maybe you don’t. You can just get an abortion and get it over with. Well, maybe it’s best if you tell him either way. But the more you thought about the baby, the more harder it seemed for you to think about getting rid of it.
You never really made your decision on not having kids, you figured that when it happens it happens, but what about now? Simon doesn’t want a baby, but you’re pregnant now, a baby you created with the love of your life, Yours and Simons baby…
Tears prick your eyes as you stared at the stick. What are you going to do?
Simon was out drinking with his ‘comrades’, so you had some time to yourself before he came back. You needed to plan a time to tell him. But you were beyond terrified. You know having this baby was putting your relationship with Simon at risk. But this was just as much of his doing as yours, but at the same time, your IUD should’ve prevented this from happening.
For the past few days, you’ve tired to gain the courage to tell him but you never could. For days Simon could tell something was bothering you, and it wasn’t the sickness you had. It was something that was clouding your mind. He could see in your eyes that something was troubling you. But tonight, you knew you had to tell him, he was going to be deployed for work the following night. You either tell him now or have him come pack to you and see you pregnant, maybe close to popping and possibly have a heart attack and make things worse.
As you sat on the couch waiting for him to return, mentally preparing yourself for what’s to come, you hear the familiar sound the keys jingle and the lock to your door unlock before the door opened to reveal Simon— whom just returned home from the bar. He was feeling dreadful about having to be deployed once again here in a couple of days, he doesn’t want to leave you. He hates it, he hated leaving you here all alone, he can’t be there to protect you, hold you and love you but his job makes it worth it if it means you get everything you deserve. Even if he isn’t around for long periods at a time.
As he walks into the house you greet him with a smile, he’s a little tipsy but just barely since he still had to drive home. He did enjoy his time with Price, Soap and Gaz though. Even if he didn’t outright admit it.
“How’d it go?” You asked him as you approach him with a small smile. You’re too nervous to give him his usual greeting kiss which made Simon’s suspicions of your worry confirmed.
“It was fine, not too shabby and the boys were okay as usual. But I need to ask you something,” He said glancing your direction as he looks into your eyes like he’s trying to read your mind, he cups your face gently as he approached you. He saw your body tense up, you tried to save yourself by quickly relaxing before Simon could see but it was too late, he already did— that was his queue. “There’s something bothering you, I can see it. You know you can’t hide things from me and I understand if you don’t wanna talk about it but at least let me help you the way you help me.”
Your throat grew dry, ‘Shit.’ You thought. You could feel your anxiety flow through your nerves as your hand began to tremble slightly. Your silence worried Simon. “Yn…” He called out but you stood silent.
‘It’s now or never, i can’t hide this forever, not when I start to show.” You thought, Simon’s hand gently rubbed your cheekbones which brought your attention back to him. Your teary gaze met his concerned ones. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry…” You quivered out. You tried to keep your composure but the hormones betrayed your body. “For what? What happened love?” He grew more worried as the tears rolled down your face. He wiped them away with his fingers as he cradled your face, as you both stare into the others gaze. “You promise you won’t be mad, I’m scared you’re gonna hate me, leave me and…” You whisper but Simon cuts you off as he leaned down to take your lips into a soft but passionate kiss, pulling away you look at him such vulnerability as you wrap your hands around Simons’ wrist gently. “I won’t.” He whispers back to you, his eyes filled with concern and love in his eyes. It makes your heart break thinking about what can happen next.
Your breath hitched before you inhaled and closed your eyes leaning into Simons touch. “I’m pregnant…” it was silent for a hot second. You felt his hands stiffen up but quickly relax as he looked a bit surprised. Your IUD should’ve been working, but he can’t blame you, there’s still a small chance.
“Have you made an appointment?” He asked after a long silence.
“For what?” You look up nervously, your guts telling you things were going downhill soon now. but it’s too late— you’ve already made up your mind.
“To get rid of it.” He asks you, he was confused by your question but something was telling him something else is going on. It was dead silence after that, you didn’t even need to say anything. After a long pause and silence, you and Simon stared each other down until you looked away in shame.
the was it… the look in your eyes were enough to tell Simon what your intentions were. His hands suddenly went stiff, almost felt like a mannequins hands were placed on your face but then they were quickly snatched away from your grasp and face. You gasped lightly at the action and look back up at him in surprise. He took two long strides away from you, his eyes were slightly wide with a blank look in them as he stared at you.
You wanted to call out to him but his eyes alone were enough to tell you that he was about to run. Your heart throbbed and your stomach began to churn again. More tears began to flow and obscure your vision. “Simon…” You called out to him, you refrained from walking towards him, terrified that one wrong move and he’d run and leave you in the dust. But it seemed to trigger him.
His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes began to show frustration. “No.” He shook his head as you sobbed. “Dammit yn! I thought we established this. You promised!” He began to raise his voice, his fear coming to light. You were planning to bring a child into this world. His child. All he could think about was his father and his family, something he didn’t want to experience again. He doesn’t want to risk history to repeat itself.
“I’m sorry Simon but I never made a promise! I truly didn’t mean for this to happened but it did and when I thought about having an abortion I couldn’t bear that thought of it. I know what we had in mind was to not have any kids but I can’t bring myself to get rid of our baby.”
“No! We agreed, we’d have no kids— for Christ sake! I’m always at base and deployed. I can die and leave you to raise a baby alone. My lifestyle isn’t fit for a child that I’m not ready to care for, nor did I ever plan on having one.” He didn’t yell but his voice sounded distant like he was guarded. Like how he used to be when you first met him back in high school, stiff as a stone with years and layers of built up walls around him to keep anybody out from his heart and mind, one that took you years to slowly tear down— granted there were a few but big bumps in the road but in the end you never gave up on him and always stuck by his side because you had realized just what exactly you signed up for when you started dating Simon. He was troubled, haunted by his abusive father, wanting to save his mother and brother, the ones who are now six feet under because of his job, one that could possibly put you at risk too. And for Simon, having a baby would only make the situation worse.
“I can’t do this.” He said, but his voice sounded different. He didn’t sound like your Simon anymore. He sounded like Ghost now. The Ghost he separated you from, the Ghost that was cold hearted and never cared about anything or anyone else but getting his priorities done and missions finished.
Your breath hitched. “What do you mean?” Your voice quivered. Ghost didn’t even bother to answer you, he made his way to the bedroom. “Simon please!” You treaded after him, your anxiety surfacing again.
You walked into the bedroom to see him reaching into the closet and pulling out his bag, already packed with all the gears and items he needed for his deployment. Slumping the strap over his shoulder, you could only watch in a heartbreaking silence as you felt your throat tighten keeping you from trying to reach out and call for him.
It was nothing but silence the whole time as you watched Simon pack away a last minute items he’d need. You watched as he began to tie on his boots until the silence was broke by your voice.
“You’re right,” you finally spoke. Your voice soft as you tried not to let out a sob. “You don’t have to do this, you can keep doing what you do. I’ll keep the baby without you.” Simon just sat there listening to you as he kept his gaze glued to the ground. You couldn’t see what he was thinking with his Balaclava on now but you could see his fists clenched tightly. “I won’t make you go through this but just know, I still love you Simon, but I want this baby. You won’t hear from me asking you for anything at all. But just know, once you walk out that door. I’ll be gone, unless you say something Simon...” you stand there staring at him hoping he’ll say something… anything. A sliver of wanting to be around at least or try to work something out but you know it’ll never come.
He’s Simon, Ghost, he’s not, and may never be, mentally prepared nor does he have a lifestyle fit enough to raise a baby. Without a single noise Simon gets up, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walks past you to the bedroom door, you watch his back, he doesn’t spare you a single glance before he walks out the room without another word.
After a few seconds, you hear his boots stomp down the stairs, the door opening and slamming shut. Your que to finally let it all out, easing the tension and pain in your throat from holding back your tears. You sat on the floor holding your stomach as it dawned on you, you were really on your own now. Just you and your baby.
A whole week had passed, you did nothing but stay in bed, the lingering smell of Simon were in the sheets. You laid on his side to try and comfort yourself, to savor the last scent of Simon before it disappeared and you’d never be able to breathe it again. you couldn’t do anything other than just rot in bed and only get up to eat and use the bathroom.
You knew you had to leave soon, this was Simon’s house after all, you couldn’t stay here. You had to find somewhere to stay, find a new place to live. You left your previous job when you started living with Simon. He said he made enough money to support the both of you and wanted you to live comfortably. He really did spoil you but now after everything that has happened. Your peaceful life was now turned upside down. You need to find a new job, make enough money to not only support yourself, an apartment but also your baby. You wanted to be out of this place before Simon got back, you had three months max before Simon came back but you wanted to get out as soon as you could. Take a big step into becoming independent again. Make your life better for yourself and your baby. Prove Simon that you can do this all on your own without him.
You were lucky you managed to gain contact with your older sister, Stacy, she and her husband had welcomed you into their home with no hesitation, surprisingly. Granted you and your sister had some mending to do but it was mostly cause by your parents. Your mother had always found ways to turn you and your sister against one another when you two were younger. You both always fought and tried to better the other for praise of your mother.
She had the tendency to always compared one of you over the other, “Your sister is skinner than you,” “You eat like a pig, your sister eats better than you,” “your sister this” or “your sister that”. You mother always tried to make you two compete against the other that both physically and mentally damaged you both along with your relationship. You and your sister had a rocky relationship, wanting to get along with each other but with your mothers words putting you against each other, trying to better the other, it always made you and your sister resent each other.
Your father never bothered with you two, you could never talk to him without every conversation ending in a some form of abuse. He was never in the right mindset being constantly high off his mind with drugs. But as you grew older you began to see the things your mother did to you and your sister, but before you could make amends, your sister met her then boyfriend, a frat boy she met at a collage party while she was a junior in high school and ran away with him the first chance she got. Eventually you met Simon in your freshman year of high school, he was a sophomore. He recognized that you both came from broken and unstable families and brought the idea of you both running off together in your senior year after you turned eighteen, living in a small cramped apartment. You both started off as friends but it took only a year of living together for the tension between you two to be broken ending with Simon suddenly pulling you into a kiss one random Tuesday night. After that, everything seemed to fall into place with you two.
Driving to your sisters home after she gave you the address, you packed all your things into your car, at least what you could fit, just the main necessities. You would come back for the rest later on. As you park your car into the driveway, you notice the door opening to reveal Stacy standing there. She looked different now, she gained a bit of weight, but she still looked as youthful as the last time you saw her, of course just not as rebellious looking as she used to be. She had a softer look to herself and her hair grew out, reaching just below her shoulders. It felt so emotional as you got out the car and looked at your sister for the first time in a decade. You both stared at each other, almost unsure of how to approach each other, like something may be set off if one makes the wrong move.
“Are you alright?” She approaches you as you got out the car. She seemed weary to approach, almost like she expected you to attack her, hate her and resent her for leaving you all alone under the weight of having to burden your parents wrath. At first you did, but you came to terms with it and didn’t blame her for it.
Without hesitation you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and bursted into tears. “I’m sorry!” You cried out.
Stacy was taken back at your outburst, she quickly hugged you back with a small smile, a part of her relieved to see that your didn’t hate her. “It’s okay.” She hushes you and cradled your head.
“No it’s not, I should’ve talked to you, we should’ve made up long ago but I ran off…” you cry out as you shook your head, your cheek mushed against her shoulder.
“And so did I!” She cut you off. “I was the one that ran off first, I was the one who left you in the dust for some guy that turned out to be a fraud. I chose a man over my own sister but I was too dumb to see it. We both made mistakes but now that we’re here, let’s take this chance to make it right.” She wiped your tears from your face. “Now tell me what happened?” She asks you as you take a deep breath. “Simon left me.” You say, your sisters eyes widen in surprise and sympathy. “Well— technically I left but we decided that we were through.”
“Why, what happened?” She asks you as she began to guide you to her house. As you make your way in, you wipe your eyes as you think about the memory.
“I’m pregnant.” You start off, your sister is caught off guard and stunned, but she doesn’t speak and allows you to continue. “I found out not too long ago.”
You sister looks at you in shock. “Is that why… Simon…” she tries to ask, you know what she’s saying before you nod answering her question.
“Yeah, we’ve had the talk before. We agreed on no kids because he didn’t want any, me, I wasn’t too sure at the time but now, now I know, I do want this kid. It was an accident but as I thought about not going through with this pregnancy I knew that there wasn’t going to be another chance to have this opportunity and so, I decided that I wanted to keep the baby.” You say as you lay a hand on your stomach. “I knew things would change between us but I was willing to take the risk. I told him and shit just went down hill. He made his choice and I made mine. I left home, he left because he’s currently on deployment but he’s made his choice not to be in the baby’s life. I gave him the choice to leave because I don’t want to force him into this since he never wanted any in the beginning.” You say, you sit on the soft couch as you both settled on conversing in the living room.
“He’s in the military?” She asks him a bit surprised, she’s still trying to process all this new information about your current situation and your now ex-boyfriend.
You nod your head and rub your eyes feeling the fatigue catch up to you from the past couple of days. You’ve only gotten a wink of sleep ever since Simon left, the past two days you were packing up all your things that you needed and wanted to take with you into your car, and you were stressing about where’d you go and be staying up until you reached out to Stacy, thankfully, responded back to you and offered you a place to stay at her house.
“Yeah, but, he doesn’t tell me much about it. But from what I’ve seen— every time he came back— it was always bad. He’d come home with bruises and wounds that sometimes looked to be fatal. It always scares me every time he goes, and I sometimes never know when he’ll be back, or if he’ll come back at all.” You explain to her. You leave out the part where he’d be a shell of himself, like his soul was ripped from him, so unemotional, and you can never forget how scary it was seeing how empty his eyes looked sometimes.
Stacy looks at you, she’s processing all this and trying to her best to listen but she can tell that’s it’s a lot for her to take in. You don’t blame her, you two haven’t seen each other er for over five years, so there’s a lot of catching up to do. “I promise you I’ll only be here for a few months. I’ll find a place to stay for the baby and I before they’re born, we’ll be out of your hair soon.” You tell her quickly trying to reassure her that it’s only temporary and you’re not going to take advantage of your sister’s kindness and willing to help you out, you don’t wanna have the burden of having her worry about you and have a baby in the house. You’ve already become enough of a burden for Simon with the baby.
Stacy shakes her head and gently takes your hand and gently squeezes it. “Don’t worry about it. Take as much time as you need to get back on your feet. You got a kid to worry about now. And granted, it may be hard but I believe in you. You’re a strong woman, I know you can get through this, you always do. And even if you don’t, I’ll always be here to help you.” She says as she smiles at you fondly.
You feel so grateful for her. Your hormones have you all over the place both emotionally and physically. You’re on the verge of tears as you engulf Stacy into a hug once again. “Thanks Stac.” You say, your voice threatening to crack into a sob.
Stacy smiles at you and hugs you back. “Don’t thank me, you’re my little sister, family looks out for one another. Real family.”
꧁——————————꧂
Im debating if this series should have a twist to it. So stay tuned :)
Cw: not much here, just some talks of abandonment, hospital setting, ptsd (on Simon’s end). Overall series warning: Pregnancy, fem! Reader, angst.
A/n: again yall I apologize for such a late chapter after months, I’m tryingggg. Also sorry if this seems rushed.
Edited? No
Previous <- -> Next
S. Masterlist
22 Weeks—6 months
September, 2019
Your bump was coming along too, you already had a pretty big bump which now meant you needed to buy more expensive clothes for work to better suit your growing belly. Your boss was okay, as long as you stayed on her good side and didn’t get out of line. You also worked with another secretary, Annie. Both of you working at the front desk, you on the left side, Annie on the right. She was a nice woman, in her early 50s, she worked on handing the employee schedules, approving time off requests, making sure everyone’s schedules worked together to prevent being short staffed, booked the company checks, and did payroll too. She was a pretty smart woman and liked to keep her peace. She always stayed quiet and minded her business which you liked but every once in a while, when there were slow days with nothing much to do, you both chatted and talked about random things in each others life. But you still kept it professional and didn’t overshare personal stuff.
You finally got yourself an apartment too, it was decent, small but at least you had a two bedrooms. One for you and one for the baby’s nursery. The neighbor wasn’t too bad either, save for the exceptional odd balls in the neighborhood, once in a while there’d be police activity in the area. Still it was better than nothing, money was a little tight but at least you finally had a place of your own for you and the baby. Looks like you had to really keep really close track of your money too, having to budget your spending to afford rent, utilities and groceries.
It was a Friday, which you were excited, you couldn’t wait to spend the entire weekend just relaxing and just rot in bed all day. Maybe go shopping for the baby.
You haven’t brought much, you wanted to wait and see if you were having a boy or girl to find better suiting clothes for your baby, but you did have the essentials like the crib, diapers, wipes, car seat, etc. which most of it was graciously gifted to you by your sister and Jared.
You just about finished up your work before you went on lunch, once you did, you put up your ‘On Break’ sign up on your desk before you headed out of the building. You decided to treat yourself since it was Friday and you were really craving your favorite meal for a while. When you had left the building, you take notice of a shiny black truck parked on the sidewalk just outside the company’s parking lot, it looked brand new, and the windows were tinted to almost bitch black, you couldn’t see in there at all. You don’t know why you it caught your eye so much, maybe it just looked very expensive and shiny, but it also weirded you out with how tinted the windows were, it was a little off-putting. You shook it off as you continue to walk down the street, the restaurant wasn’t too far from your work.
Once you had ordered your food, you sat down and ate for a bit before heading back, on your way back, you looked ahead of you, and the truck was still there, except you caught a glimpse of small amounts of smoke emitting from it. You grew confused but as you grew closer you had noticed the driver side window was open, huffs of smoke came from within the truck. Someone was smoking in the, could they have been sitting in the car the entire time? Maybe they just got back from whatever it was they were doing and decide to take a short smoke break before leaving. Yeah, maybe that was it.
You sighed to yourself, you’ve always been a bit paranoid to the world around you, you’ve always had a suspicious attitude towards your surroundings when you were out in public. Maybe it was from all the time you’ve spent around Simon, he’s always been paranoid of things around him, there was definitely a small part of him suffering from ptsd.
You remember one time; it was the Fourth of July, Simon and you were home— not really celebrating the holiday just relaxing like any other regular day watching your favorite rom-com. You think Simon might’ve forgotten that it was a holiday that day since he never celebrated the holiday. Suddenly fireworks were set off down the block by some teens, simon was sitting next to you as you both watched the tv when you were nearly pushed to the ground as Simon jumped out of his seat and onto his feet, damn near ready to grab a gun and shoot someone’s head off their shoulders.
You quickly comforted him, grasping his forearm and bringing his attention to you as you had looked up at him. “Simon, it’s okay, it was just fireworks.” You told him, you looked into his eyes and was the way his eyes were fully dilated from the rush of adrenaline. He was hyper aware of every little thing around him, his breathing was fast and shallow but his body looked still, like he was calm. You wonder if this was how he was when he was out on the fields during development, it was scary yet also fascinating how fast he was and how he took in everything around him. It was so strange to see him like this, like you were now looking at Ghost.
As your words set in for Simon you watch his shoulders slowly relax as he blinks and remains his eyes on your face. He breathes deeply and places his hands on your waist, “Sorry.” He mutters as he goes to grab your hands to bring them around his shoulders before pulling you into his chest. You don’t say anything as you wrap your arms around him and lay your head in his shoulder. You could hear the way his heart beat in his chest, pounding profusely beating at a hundred miles an hour.
You shake your head as you run your hand through his hair softly, looking into his eyes you see how dilated his pupils are showing the adrenaline and fear running through his body. “You don’t have to apologize for nothing Simon. I’m here for you and will help you through anything. That’s what we promised each other right? To be there for each other through thick and thin.” She tells him. Simon chuckled as he looked at her seeing that his adrenaline has started to slowly subside.
“isn’t that kinda stuff saved to be said at weddings?” He asks.
you look to the side and shrug your shoulders. “I guess you’re right, but it I think it’s still worth saying. Like we’re giving each other glimpses of that day to come.” You tease him with and give a small chuckle as you look at Simon and see the corners of his mouth twitch up in a small smirk.
“Reckon you want a big shiny ring ‘ey?” He says as he suddenly took your left hand into his warm and big hand. He looks at your hand, as if admiring how small your hand was in his, imagining a big diamond ring on your ring finger. It made his heart race at the mere thought, a ring symbolizing his love and devotion for you. “I think I quite like the sound of callin’ you Mrs. Riley.” He mumbles as his finger grazes your fingers gently despite how much rougher and calloused his hands are compared to your soft and tender hands.
You’d never forget how much your face hurt after he said that because you couldn’t stop smiling nor calm your racing heart down that night after Simon said that. Imaging living your life carrying a ring on your finger, being announced as Mrs. Riley, Simon Riley’s wife.
You’re snapped back into reality, the sound of a car engine roaring as it drives off, you look up to see the black truck drive off down the road and turn a corner before disappearing to wherever it’s driving off to. Walking back into the building and returning to your desk, trying to forget the lingering thoughts of the truck and your unnecessary amount of paranoia that you supposed Simon had rubbed off on you.
The rest of the day was fine and somewhat normal after that. A week had passed, you were at your desk, as per usual, but today you were leaving work early to pay another visit to your doctor for your 22 week check up. Your were going to finally find out the gender of the baby. 6 months into your pregnancy, everything was going good so far, you had some pretty strange and interesting pregnancy cravings, you feet swelled up easily but thankfully with your job, allowing you to sit at your desk, it wasn’t much of a problem for you. It was a bit difficult however when it came to putting shoes on, picking things up off the floor. It was exciting to know you were so to meet your baby but you think Simon’s genetics were really showing through with how heavy your baby felt, it made you worry and dread the day you’ll give birth and have to push a huge baby out of you. You’ll definitely be getting the epidural.
The clock finally stuck 12:30, which meant it was time to head out. Your appointment was at 1:00 and you like to be early and on time, the hospital was only 10 minutes away but you never know how long the drive will take with the unpredictable traffic on the road.
you drive along the freeway towards the hospital, playing a soft tune of you music on the aux. the drive was relatively smooth and had a small bit of traffic but nothing too bad, that’s why you left thirty minutes early for.
arriving at the hospital, you walk in. The receptionist tells you to sit down in the waiting lobby. Walking into the lobby, there a few people in the room, three couples, two of three of the couples were a man and his wife or girlfriend, one couple were two woman. They were both obviously in a relationship and expecting a baby with the way the woman cradled her wife’s belly while holding hands with her other partners hand. They whispered and giggled about things you could t really hear much of from where you sat, but they seemed like they were joking and enjoying each other’s company while they waited.
there was two woman, one was visibly pregnant, the other, you couldn’t tell, maybe she was planning to, or in the early stages, or maybe she’s here for another reason. They sat in adjacent seats a crossing the room from each other. You decided to sit in the corner on the side by the woman who was heavily pregnant, she had pretty blonde hair, brown eyes, and seemed to be in her early twenties. She was reading one of the pregnancy magazines the lobby had to offer on the little coffee table I the center of the room.
you figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to read one of the magazines while you waited for your appointment. Grabbing a light magazine, on the cover was an image of a fetus growing in the uterus. The title being, “pregnancy 101; a guide for first time expecting mothers.”
sitting down on an empty chair, it was two seats away from the blonde woman. You quietly get settled into your chair and open the magazine, grazing over the page and looking at the pictures in the background of the paragraphs. You read the page for a few minutes until a voice broke you out of your concentration.
“first time mom?” A woman’s voice asks, you blink and pull your eyes away from your magazine and look over to your left to see the blonde woman. Her magazine was lowered to her lap and she was looking right at you with a soft smile on her face. Her voice had a hint of a southern accent, it made her sound soft and sweet.
You look at her for a minute and nod as you let out a soft chuckle looking down at your belly. “Yeah. What about you?” You ask.
The woman shook her head. “Second kid actually, my first just turned eight and he’s pretty excited for this kid.” She says.
You nodded at her words and smile, she definitely had that motherly voice and aura to her personality. She seemed like she knew what she was doing and what to expect. Guess that’s what happens for moms on their second child.
“How far along are you?” You ask her.
“Just hit my eight month mark, one month left.” She says with a hidden sigh of relief. You could tell she was excited and couldn’t wait to meet her baby soon. Her bump was pretty big from beneath her floral printed dress. “What about you?
“Six months. Im going to find out the sex today too.” You say. You can see her nod and glance at your bump.
“Sounds exciting! What’re you hoping for?” She asks you as she leaned against the armrest of her chair to talk to you better, the wait room had a soft music playing but it was relatively quiet besides the small chatter between you and the woman and the other couple.
You glance down at your belly for a moment, you never really thought about it, having a boy or a girl didn’t matter much to you. You were just hoping the baby was happy and healthy. As you thought about it, you thought of a little boy, chunky and handsome, a carbon copy of Simon. Then as you thought of a girl, you imagine she’d be beautiful and have the most gorgeous eyes that reminded you of Simon. Or maybe she could be your twin, a mini version of you. “I haven’t given it much thought. I’m just happy as long as my baby is healthy and happy.” You tell her.
She nodded at your answer, “I wish that’s what everyone wanted. It sometimes makes me sad to see parents expecting one gender only to find out their baby isn’t the one they want and they show anger or resentment for it.” She says with a soft sigh.
You nodded to her words as you thought about some of those videos you sometimes saw on social media, viral videos of gender reveals. Majority of the time, you saw the parents wanting a boy only to find out that they’re actually having a girl and acting out in frustration or disappointment, or voicing their anger. You understand sometimes people can hope for one thing and get gender disappointment but it was the way they seemed to act out in anger, sometimes it hurt more seeing how the parents would show distain after they found out they’re having a girl. “I know what you’re talking about, I’ve seen those kinds of videos. Sad to see that.” You tell her and she hummed in agreement to your words. “But uh… do you know what you’re having?” You ask her trying to change the direction of the conversation.
She nodded, “I’m having a boy. Double the fun having my oldest son and this one.” She jokes with a soft chuckle as you huffed a laugh with her. “Oh I’m sorry, it’s a bit rude of me to not have introduced myself, my name is Rosie.” She says offering her hand to you.
You take her nod and shake her hand for a second as you introduce yourself as well. “(Y/n), it’s nice to meet you.”
“A pleasure honey.” She says offering a heartfelt nod in response. “I don’t mean to be nosy but you plannin’ on having more kiddos after this one?” She asks him
You smile at her comforting and mother-like way of talking and personality. You shake your head to ease her concern of crossing the line, “it’s fine. As for planning on more, it’s going to be a hard no. I’m more than happy to just have one.” You say with a smile. “I wasn’t really planning to have this one but they’re a good surprise, at least to me…” you tell her as your voice slowly trialed off and seemed to grow weary.
Rosie seemed to catch an idea of what you were talking about. Her face seemed to drop as she gave you a sympathetic look. “I’m guessing the father isn’t in the picture…” She says in a low voice.
You nod and purse your lips as you subconsciously rub your belly. “Yeah but, I’ve come to accept it and I’m ready and confident that I can do this. We don’t need him anyways.” You say trying to sound confident, part of it is to convince yourself but to also to convince yourself. Sure you’ve saved up plenty of money and can financially support yourself and your baby, but mentally, you try and convince yourself that you’ll be okay alone raising a baby. But thinking about your baby growing up without their dad, never knowing Simon, it made your heart hurt. It’s gonna break your heart when your baby finds out that their own father didn’t want them, didn’t want to be in their life.
Rosie places a hand on your shoulder and gives you a soft smile. “Just know, your baby is lucky to have you and you’ll be an amazing mama. Screw him, you and your baby don’t need him, as long as you got each other and that you’re there for your baby. That’s all that matters.” She tells you.
You smile and nod at her words feeling a new hope and feeling in yourself after her words. She’s right. At the end of the day, you’ll both be okay as long as you two have each other.
“(Y/n) (l/n).” A voice announced your name. You look at the entrance of the waiting room to see Dr. Raven standing there and spotted you. You smile at her and stand up. Turning around to look at Rosie you give her a little wave. “It was nice meeting you Rosie, hope you and your family nothing but the best.” You tell her.
Rosie nods and smiled back. “You too (y/n), wishing you and your baby the best of luck.” She tells you before you turn back around and make your way to Dr. Raven.
“You ready for your check up?” Dr. Raven ask you.
You nodded you head as she leads you through the hall towards the ultrasound room. “Ready as ever.” You say with a big grin feeling the butterflies in your stomach rile up as you now realize that it won’t be long until you find the gender of your baby.
Reaching the room, you enter and lay on the chair leaning back as you lift up your shirt like routine when you come in for your checkups. Dr. Raven places the gel on your stomach before placing the transducer on your stomach spreading the gel around your bump. The familiar image of your womb appears on the screen as you spot your baby, a significant shape of your baby in view as they slowly twitch and move in the womb.
You smile at the screen admiring how far your baby has developed and getting closer to the day they finally arrive and get to hold them in your arms. “Alright, looks like baby is doing swell and looking as healthy as ever.” Dr. Raven says as she moves the transducer down to get another angel down towards the baby’s lower body. “And you wanted to know the sex of the baby am I correct?” She asks you.
You nod your head feeling the anticipation grow. “Yeah, I do.” You tell her.
Dr. Raven nods and focuses on the screen clicking a few buttons as the screen starts to zoom in more and take a few pictures of the sonogram.
“Alright you ready to find out?” Dr. Raven asks you with an anticipating look.
You nodded vigorously as you fell your heart race, resulting in the banter reacting with a small kick.
“You are having…” she says before pointed to the groin area of the baby.
“A girl.” She reveals.
You stare at the screen in awe as you feel a euphoric feeling flow through you as you couldn’t contain your smile as it grew wider. “A girl…” you repeat.
Everything felt like a dream, it’s like all your problems and worries disappeared and the whole world stopped just for you. In this moment as you stared at your baby girl. Your best friend that you get all to yourself and get the privilege to raise.
Forget about not having Simon in your lives, nothing else mattered now. It was just you two.
Just you and your baby girl against the world…
Taglist ★
(Idk why it isn’t letting me tag some of you guys, I don’t know how to fix that forgive me. If you wanna be removed from taglist, dm me <3 )
Cw: pregnancy stuff, reader is female, cursing (let me know I I missed anything)
A/N: sorry if this is very short the chapters may be pretty short just so my motivation to keep writing can stay.
Edited? No
Previous <- -> Next
S. Masterlist
Eight weeks—2 months
May, 2019
“Alright hon, if you can lay on the bed and lift your shirt over your belly please.” Dr. Raven says, the woman pointing to the dull looking patient bed with thin paper lining fitted over the cushion.
You give a quaint nod and follow her words, sitting down on the bed— to your surprise— the cushion was surprisingly comfortable to sit on. You bring your shirt up over your stomach stopping below your rib cage; laying back and waiting for Dr. Raven to prepare for the scanning. You watch as she brings out a plastic bottle you assumed was the gel, as she opened the plastic cap, she looks at you. “Okay, I’m going to put this on your abdomen. Be prepared, this will be cold.” She says as she squeezes the bottle over your stomach, the bright translucent blue gel slithers out the opening and trails down towards your stomach.
The moment it makes contact with your skin, your stomach retracted back at the cold viscous material. You shudder a breath and laugh a bit. “You weren’t lying.” You joked as Raven smiled and chucked at your response.
“Always takes them by surprise.” She says squeezing out a good dollop of gel, she finishes squeezing the bottle, pulling it away and closing the cap back on. Placing it back down on the table beside her— she grabs the transducer clicking a few buttons and the screen turns on.
“Alright, a we are good to go.” She mutters before placing the nub against your abdomen, spreading the gel around your stomach while she looks at the screen seeing the scan coming through, adjusting the nub to hover over your lower abdomen.
You watch the screen feeling a bit anxious as you watch— trying to figure out exactly what you were seeing. After a couple seconds you immediately spot a little white blob. A baby.
“There it is. Your baby.” She tells you, pointing to the small bean sized blob displayed on the screen. You stare at the screen in awe. That’s really inside you. Your baby slowly growing by the second, yours and Simon’s baby.
“So tiny.” You say under your breath as Dr. Raven nods to your words.
“You’re only eight weeks currently, and based off the tests that we did, it looks like you and the baby are doing just fine so far, baby is healthy and growing, overall you’re both doing great. I’ll provide you with some prenatal vitamins for you to take. However, I did notice in your readings, your blood pressure is a bit high than we’d like it to be so I need you to make sure you’re not overworking yourself, do more things to keep you calm and not focus and do things that cause you such distress if that’s possible. Other than that, you’re all set and good to go. Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Raven says as she takes a few pictures of the scan to print out for you.
You breathe out in relief, the baby is all good. You figured the high blood pressure was definitely caused by the whole situation with Simon so you don’t know how you can make yourself forget about it, on top of that you’ve also been worried about finding a place to live and trying to figure out your financial situation now with Simon out of the picture. You take a deep breath and nod at Dr. Ravens advice. “I’ll be sure not to.” You tell her with a small smile as she hands you a paper towel to wipe off the gel, which you take.
“Would you be comfortable with telling me the cause for your mental or physical wellbeing may be? Anything that maybe I could help you with if possible.” She asks you; you can spot the concern in her eyes when she brings it up.
You shake your head and ignore the feeling you felt as she brings it up but regardless you smile and shake your head. “Just trying to deal with not having the father in the picture. He decided he didn't want to be around." You tell her as she nods, understanding your words.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She tells you as you simply shrug your shoulders pulling you shirt back down.
"it's fine, think we'll be better off without him anyways.” You tell her. It's true, to an extent, at least that’s what keep telling yourself. You know you can do this all on your own. It won't be easy, but you hope you can manage. But deep down, you know you'll never be okay— not without having Simon by your side.
He’ll miss out on so much, like watching your baby grow, learning, overcoming obstacles as parents, learning new things that come along with have a baby— as that baby also learns from you. You both won’t grow old together like you both wanted, with a bunch of animals, but with the baby included, maybe one or two more if things had worked out in the end.
You finish up the remaining paper work you had to sign and received your vitamins. Dr. Raven hands the ultrasound pictures to you in a white envelope and you make your way back to the lobby where Jared waited, still sitting and reading the pamphlets. He looks up as he notices you approaching and smiles as he stands up. “How’d it go?” He asks you.
You hold up the envelope with a smile. “It was great, got to see the baby, doctor said that they’re healthy and everything looks good thankfully. Just have to focus on not stressing myself out so much.” You tell him as you both make your way out of the building and into the parking lot.
“That’s great to hear. I’m sure Stacy already told you but she has a surprise in stock for you but she’s wondering if you have anything nice to wear.” He asks you as you approach the car.
Opening the car door you think for a minute before you nodded. “Yeah, I should.” You tell him. You’re sure you can find something. You took everything with you when you left Simon’s place, all your things are still in boxes save for the necessities that you need, but you’re sure you can find something.
On the drive back you spent the entire car ride back home staring and looking at the ultrasound picture, the little blob that you still couldn’t grasp was your baby, just still needed some more months to grow before you can meet them and that made you anxious. You don’t think you could wait that long.
“What’re you hoping for?” Jared asks you, steering the wheel as he switches to the next lane, glancing at the photos in your hand.
You think about it for a moment, it hasn’t crossed your mind surprisingly. Either one would be great, there was a moment where you dreamt of having a baby girl with Simon. You can’t lie, the sight of Simon being a girl dad made you all giddy and warm. Then thinking about a little boy, one that looked like a copy and paste of Simon would be so cute. You smile as the possibilities ran through your head, of course you’re just being delusional, you wouldn’t be able to see that happen ever. Just a thought in the back of your mind.
“Honestly either would be great. I don’t mind what I have, as long as the baby is healthy that’s enough for me.” You say tucking the photos into your purse, holding it close to you.
Jared smiled and nodded. “Sounds great, you’ll make a great mother. I’m sure of it.” He says to you as you smile, the reassurance from Jared was something you didn’t know you needed but greatly appreciated.
“Thanks.” You say to him, before you know it you’ve finally made it back home.
Once you arrived home you got out the car and walked into the house. Right away Stacy approached you with a smile.
“How’d it go?” She asks you as she gets up from the soft couch and walking over towards you and Jared.
You pull out the envelope and pull out the multiple pictures and hand them out for her. Upon seeing them she awe’s as she examined the little bean like fetus. “Little baby.” She coos before looking at you. “How far along are you?” She asks you.
“Eight weeks. I’ll be able to see the baby’s gender by fourteen weeks.” You tell her as she hands back the photos to you. Placing them in you bag you can see Stacy smile as she walks towards the island counter of in the kitchen. “Oh, what was that surprise you had in store?” You ask her.
She props herself up on the counter with her elbows and looks at the time. “We decided to treat you to dinner tonight. We have a reservation set for six tonight. You feeling up for it?” She asks you.
You take a moment to think and nod your head a bit excited to hear you’ll be eating at a restaurant feeling your hormones go crazed at the thought of food. “Yeah, I’ll get ready now.” You tell her with a wide smile. You haven’t eaten out at a restaurant in a long time. Last time you went was with Simon for the last anniversary together.
Making your way to your ‘room’ you take out a box with your fancier clothes. Opening the box you pull out multiple tops, bottoms, and dresses. Finally choosing one you like you slip the dress on and admire yourself in the mirror. You bump is bulging out a bit, you take the time to admire it.
You took the time to shower, do your make up and get dressed right on time. Stacy looked at your outfit as you did a 360 showing off your outfit. “You’re not even half way into pregnancy and already look like a milf.” Stacy jokes, you laugh as you grab your purse.
“Don’t tell me lies Stace.” You tell her as she shrugs her shoulder.
“I only tell the truth.” She says as you both walk out the door and towards the already running car where Jared sat in waiting for you two.
3 months later
August, 2019
“Fuckin’ hell.”
A click from the lock sounds from the front door as it swings open. Simon’s bulking frame walks through the door as he scans the house. It’s dark and eerily silent.
When Simon came back, he felt like shit. His heart dreaded coming home to see your answer. He hoped you stayed, at least long enough till he came back, he planned to move out the house and leave it for you if you decided to keep the baby. It would give him a peace of mind to know where you were and know that you and the kid were safe, and you could use the extra room and space for the baby. But, even if you got rid of it, he doesn’t know if your relationship could ever be the same.
However your answer was first made clear when your car not in the drive way. His heart dropped but he took a deep breath, ‘Maybe she’s at the store.’ He thought. He hadn’t texted you either to let him know he was coming home today, he couldn’t bring himself too.
You’re not here. It’s something Simon suspected but he still feels dread overcome him as he steps into the house and notices the little things around the house that belonged to you were gone. Your shoes were gone, your car keys, the blanket you left on the couch is gone. He walks into your shared bedroom, which is now his bedroom, opening the door and he’s stunned with how much of an eye sore it is. His room is so plain now, like how it looked before you moved in with him.
He remembers how much you wanted to decorate the place, especially the bedroom, you hated how lifeless the whole house looked. It didn’t take much to convince him to let you decorate saying , “Go crazy.” And you did. Literally. You decorated adding a touch of you but keeping it to an extent to not overwhelm Simon. You hung up a few decorations and posters in the bed room of bands you and Simon both loved. A few shelves displaying your books and trinkets. Your touch added to his home making it more like home for him. Like you were his home. He liked, loved it if he dare say, he worried you would over do the place but it look perfect. Like you.
But now as he looked around the house, he sees the walls are bare and plain. He feels plain now, empty. Sad. He looks through your closet and drawers only to find them completely bare and empty.
He walks into the living room notices your shoes are gonna as well from the rack, and the little table beside the front door, he noticed the white folded paper on the little ceramic plate that held their keys, walking over he pick up the paper seeing his name written on it in your hand writing, unfolding it reveals page with your writing inked into the material.
‘I know we made a promise but this is something that takes two to do, accidents happen and I know you never wanted children and you knew it was still on the table for me, I’m thankful that you gave me a choice, even if it wasn’t easy. I don’t want to drag you into something you never wanted but it still hurts that I have to chose between you and this baby. I figured it was best for the both of us if I left, you can keep your home and I can keep my baby. I hope you stay safe out there Simon and please take care of yourself. I still and always will love you and I’m sorry.’ Simon checked the back of the paper for anything else but it was empty. You didn’t say where or what you were going to do and it scared Simon. Were you safe, do you have a place to stay, do you have people to help?
He knew you weren’t really in any contact with your family, all he knows is that he’s the only person you really had . For the most part Simon knew you didn’t have anyone to help you or look after you and the baby. “Fuck!”
Cw:mentions of fighting, blood, pregnancy (this is gonna be on the whole series so…), hospital visit, reader is mentioned to listen to rock music :)
A/N thank yall for the love and support, I love yall (platonically of course)😘
Edited? Yes
Previous <- -> Next
S. Masterlist
8 weeks—2 months
May, 2019
It’s been a few weeks since you’ve been living with Stacy and her husband, Jared.
It’s been good so far, they’ve been kind to you, you’ve been helping around as much as you could, they’ve been doing a lot to make sure you were okay and willing to help you with anything.
Jared has been fairly nice and generous. Today you had your first check up at the hospital and ultrasound appointment. Jared offered to take you to your appointment, which you accepted since your car battery decided to take a crap right as you returned home from the store the other day, so now you have to wait for the battery to arrive at the mechanics before you get take it over to get fixed. This leaves you with no independent transportation for at least a week. Luckily Stacy had been able to take you to and from places but today she wasn’t able to take you to your check up due to having to work late. Thankfully, Jared offered to take you to the doctors, to which you gratefully accepted.
On the way there you started some small talk with him. “How long have you and Stacy been together?” You ask him as you watch the trees pass by along with building around the area as he enters the highway.
Jared looks at you for a quick second before focusing back on the road. “Been together for about four years now. Two years since we’ve been married.” He says with a small smile, you’ve seen all the things they’ve done together, so many adventures, dinners, vacations, you would’ve thought they’ve been together for more than that if he hadn’t said anything.
You realize that Stacy seemed to move on to marry him pretty quickly, which wasn’t a bad thing, as long as you know that Jared has the best intentions for your sister. It was the same with her last boyfriend, taking any chance she got to up and move in with him at any chance she got.
But you aren’t worried, Jared seems to be a sweetheart, you've seen it over the few weeks you’ve spent here. He wasalways engaged and doing anything around the house that he could do. He and Stacy worked like a team. You also saw the way he looked at Stacy like she held all the stars in the sky. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but, you were jealous.
“We’ve been best friends since high school. Of course, she ended up with her boyfriend before I could confess my feelings to her. long story short he tried to have her cut contact with me but with a lot of persuasion she ended up leaving him and we got together in collage shortly after I beat the shit out of him." he chuckled seeming to be a bit ashamed at admitting it, but he wasn’t sorry though.
That took you by surprise, you never expected him be a guy to use violence just by looking at him. He seemed more like a lover than a fighter. Reguardless, you’re glad he stepped in, in any way, just to get that prick away from your sister. "Well, I'm glad Stacy has you. I remember seeing that guy before she moved out and he never gave me a good feeling." You say as the car gets off the freeway on the road that leads stright to the hospital. You can see the street changing to one of a more fancy and modernized road with trees every few feet, fancy black fencing, and lighting.
Jared smiled at you, noticing that your compliment took him by surprise. "Thanks." he says and focusing on driving, a small pause of silence between you two before he speaks up. "If you don't mind me asking, your sister told me a bit about the history between you two and how life was growing up but, how did you meet that guy?" He asks, you feel yourself start to think back on the memories between you and Simon, it was bittersweet and made the strings in your heart tug. "You don't have to tell me; I respect your privacy." Jared is quick to say noticing your face drop a bit.
You shook your head and wave your hand in a unbothered manner. “No, no. It’s alright. I don’t mind.” You say as you look at ahead of you towards the road. “I met him in my freshman year of high school, Simon was a sophomore. I first saw him when he got into a fight, but I didn’t talk to him until a week later when I got detention one day.”
✯Flashback✯
You were making your way to your fourth period, walking through the schools' hallway past others students walking trying to get to their next class. As you're about to turn the corner down the hall, you hear a sudden grunt before a loud metallic bang echos through the hall. A few feet away from you, you see everyone looking in one certain area from the origin of the sound hearing continuous grunts and chatter form other students looking intrigued, some shocked and others unbothered with what they saw. You make your way towards the crowd getting a sense of what could be happening which was soon confirmed to be true when you manage to look between the gaps of the crowd to see two guys duke it out. The guy pinned against the locker getting multiple shots of fists to the face you recognized him as Todd Hanes. The renowned senior asshole in school. He always picked and tormented other kids younger, or others who seemed weaker than him.
The other guy punching him had his back turned to you, he had short blonde hair and wore a grey t-shirt that really defined his muscles well. You can see he worked out a lot with the way his bicep flexed as he pinned Todd against the locker. You moved closer to get more of a clear view of the fight and watched as the blonde guy raised his fist and socked Todd square in the face, repeating the action over and over again as your peers around you watched the fight. Todd tried to fight back but to no avail with the fists he was received to his face repeatedly. The students around cheered or reacted verbally to the fight as you heard "ooo's' and a few other words being said as they all watched Todd practically get beaten to a pulp which was much deserved. Todd looked pathetic trying to fight back and ended up shielding his face ultimately giving up on fight back.
it wasn't long before a teacher stepped in and tried to pull the blonde off Todd, whos' face was now battered with his own blood, nosebleed and busted lip dripping blood down his shirt. it took two teachers to pull the blonde off Todd and once they did Todd slid down the locker to the floor barely conscious and seemingly dazed and confused as everyone stared in shock. You finally got to see the blonde guy's face and immediately, you felt your stomach flutter. He was downright breath taking, his brown eyes look like there was a raging fire in him, he heaved heavy breaths as he stared down Todd, whos' face was all swollen, battered and bloody. Meanwhile he only had a bloody nose.
As weird as it was but looking at him like that really awoken something in you and had your brain go fuzzy with just the image of him. As he was pulled away to what you assume was to the principal's office you watch as the teachers helped walk Todd to the nurse's office supporting him up and walking him over.
After that, you didn’t see the blonde guy. However when you asked your friend about him, they told you his name was Simon, she knew since she had a class with him. But it wasn’t long until you saw him again.
You had gotten Lunch detention for two days, you had gotten the note during you second period after you showed up to your first period late for the hundreth time. You sighed in annoyance and crumble up the paper dreading for your upcoming punishment.
When finalllylunch came by you made you way to the library where lunch detention was being held, where you had to sit there in silence for 15 minutes. Walking through the doors you look around and see how surprisingly full it was, all of the round tables had a few students sitting in every single one of them, all except for the one table in the far corner back. Where you spot Simon sitting at, your heart did a back flip at the sight of his blonde hair that peaked through the hood of his sweater. Seeing that he was the only table with less students, and it would be reasonable to sit at his table instead of the other full ones, you began contemplate on wether you wanted to sit at his table or the table next to him where a group of boys sat, you hardly judged anyone but these guys just by the looks of them seemed to be ones to torment girls just for fun, so the easier option was to sit with Simon.
It was nerve wracking walking into the library seeing so many students in the room, you expected there to be only five but there was almost twenty in here, you feared one little noise could cause everyone to turn and stare at you if you so much as breathed the wrong way.
As you walked and approached the table where Simon sat at you began to notice and take in his appearance, his blonde hair was slicked back, a bandage on his nose, from the fight with Todd, and a bruise, it was odd, it looked to be a fresh bruise on his jawline. It had been over a week since the fight, he wouldn’t have a bruise or to the least bit, just have faint bruising. Did he get into another fight?
Your thought were short circuited when his honey brown eyes move up to meet yours, he stared at you through his blonde lashes. You’re surprised and quickly avert your gaze towards the floor ahead of you before you finally reach the table and pull out the chair adjacent where he sat, sitting down trying your best to make the least amount of noise possible. You can feel his eyes linger on you until he moves his arm out to pick up his pencil and focus on the papers on the table that you assumed was his class work.
You try your best to calm your heart that’s currently beating rapidly, it’s absurd how much he’s had an affect on you just by his appearance and a singular glance he gave you. No way you’re this down bad, you thought.
You quietly settle into your seat and set you bag down before opening it up and pulling out your own homework while you steal a few glances at him, an continue to do so as you “work on your homework,” unaware of how obvious you’re being.
At the end of detention the teacher dismisses everyone as you pack away your papers and pencil back into your binder, slipping the binder in your bag your pencil slipped out and falls to the floor rolling a feet away from you. Before you lean down to pick it up, a hand lowers down and grabs the object, you look up and meet Simon’s eyes as he leans back up and extends his arm out to you with your pencil in hand.
You’re dumbfounded for a second, staring at him like a deer in headlights. You manage to mutter out a ‘Thanks’ before reaching your hand out to grab it from him, trying your best to not show how shakey your hand is. As you grab your pencil you try you best to avoid touching his fingers with yours, but your index finger barely grazed his own before you pulled away and slipped your pencil back in your bag.
“Is there something on my face?” He spoke to you, you couldn’t tell if he was genuinely asking you a question or threatening you right now. You’re taken back by how deep and rough his voice sounded, its wasn’t very deep yet but it sounded like his voice was in the process of getting there.
“Sorry…” You say with a puzzled look on your face.
Simon continued to look at you seeming unfazed. “You kept staring at me, did you need something or you just have a staring problem?” He asks, his voice unchanging from his unfazed tone, along with the blank look in his eyes.
You quickly shake your head and try to think of something, then you remembered how you noticed on his backpack he had set on the table. You saw he had a Misfits keychain hanging on the zipper of his bag so you quickly use that as an excuse. “I noticed you had a misfits keychain on your backpack and thougt it was cool-” You blurt out, you words coming out so fast as you grew nervous, Simon almost couldn’t understand what you said at first.
You see him raise a brow at your response as he looks at his bag that was still on the table, then looks back at you and takes in your appearance, his eyes glazing over your body from head to toe. “You listen to the Misfits?” He asks seeming unconvinced by your words.
You figured he may not believe you- possibly with your outfit and appearance, however he shouldn’t be one to judge. All he was wearing was a plain black sweater and jeans, didn’t give much of a hint that he listened to rock. As for you, you did listen to rock and metal music. You recently got into it thanks to your friend. So lucky for you, you knew some songs and information about the Misfits. You nod your head, “Yeah, I’ve been getting into rock music lately and Misfits were one of the first bands I listened to. They’re pretty good.” You say as a small smile makes its way to your face hoping that he’ll believe you were only looking at his backpack and definitely not checking him out.
Simon seems like he wanted to say more but shook his head but the teach had dismissed detention as the fifteen minutes were up. “Alright then.” He says before grabbing his bag, slinging the strap over his shoulder and walking out the library to wherever it was he was going.
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and take notice of how hot your face felt. Crap, you were blushing. He definitely knows you were checking him out!
After that, you suddenly saw him everywhere, you noticed him in your English class— apparently he’s been in your class this whole time, you just never knew. You saw in the halls between passing periods, and of course you saw him again on your second and last day of lunch detention.
There were less kids in the library for your second to last day of detention—which meant a couple of tables were empty. When you first entered you expected to see Simon already sitting there, but you noticed the lack of his presence, you assumed his days in detention were over which made you a bit disappointed. But at least you still got to see him in English class though. As you took your seat at the same table you pull out your essay you were working on for English class, you were almost done with it, just needed to add any finishing touches. Your essay was about the recent book your class read, Romeo and Juliet. The teacher had the class take a theme or idea of what you thought about what the book would be about and how it could relate to readers universally.
As you worked, you had your head looking down and hyper focused on your paper, too busy to see movement around you and a certain figure approaching your table. It wasn't until you heard a thud against the table that made you jump slightly and look up to see Simon at your table setting his bag down on the table before sitting down across from you, you look around and take notice that there were still a couple of empty tables left for him to sit at but he still opted to sit at the table where you were at, why?
Not wanting to overthink and get ahead of yourself, you figured it was because he's been in detention longer than you that table this was his designated table that he preferred to sit at.
He looks at you as he sits in his chair, you look back down at your paper and tried your best to refocus on your essay but much to your dismay Simon was clouding your mind as your mind went into overdrive with him around, and suddenly you began to struggle to write anything.
As you tried to get the cogs in your head to start functioning again, unbeknownst to you, Simon was looking at you. He was watching how focused you— your brows furrowed and your lips pursed. He takes notice of your paper and from what he can see from his view, he can see the pictures printed on the paper next to the long paragraphs typed out beside the picture. He recognizes the paper to be the latest assignment in English class, one you and Simon have together. He hasn’t really started it yet, he only knows the assignment has something to do with writing about Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’. He wondered if he should ask for your help—since he saw how you had two pages of your essay written. Maybe you could give him an idea of how the story is since he hardly bothered to read the book and get the assignment done, like with all his other classes.
He debates if he should say something to you— ultimately says 'fuck it' and leans in his forearms leaning on the table, whispering to you with ease as to not get caught. "You doin' the assignment for English?" He asks you in a whisper, careful not to get caught talking but the librarian was currently too caught up on whatever work she was getting done on her computer and the soft music she played was loud enough to blanket over his whisper.
you look up at him again and stare at him for a second processing what he's said to you. "Oh yeah— I'm just adding some finishing touches before I submit it." You tell him watching his eyes flicker to you and your paper.
"You think you can help me out a bit on mine? Been having some trouble with it. " He asks you as you set down your pencil down and focus on talking with Simon.
You look at him a bit taken back on the fact he wants your help. This means you get to talk to him more, perfect! "Yeah, would you be okay if we did this once detentions over? I'm not trying to get caught and have to stay here for longer." You tell him as you sneak a glance at the teacher seeing she's still occupied with her computer.
Simon nods and leans back in his chair. "Yeah, sounds good." he tells you. You try your best to fight back the smile that threatened to break through before you nod and look back at your paper completely not bothered to work with your thoughts clouded with just Simon.
Once detention was over, Simon gets up while you place your items back into your bag. Once you put everything away you see Simon standing there waiting for you, you zip up your bag slinging it over your shoulder and begin to walk towards the exit of the library, Simon following right beside you. “Were did you want to go?” You ask him as you both walk down the hall.
Simon thinks for a moment before pointing to the hallway to the right. “We can head down to the hallway of the band room.” He said as you look down the hall before nodding your head as you both turn right and make your way through the hallway. You figured the band hall would be best to study, there’s hardly anyone in there minus the teachers but some kids go there to be alone, away from everyone else. You assume that’s why Simon wanted to go there. It’s quite and isolated.
Once you reached the hallway, you both spot a little lounging area at the end of the hall where the elevator was to go upstairs. Walking up to the table you set your things down and take your seats next to each other but Simon and you still kept a good distance from one another. You bring out your papers from your bag, Simon doing the same.
Once you both settle in your seats, you look at Simon. “So what exactly did you need help with?” You ask him.
“All of it.” He states nonchalantly. “I haven’t really read the story much, just skimmed through a few chapters so I have a slight idea of what is going on but I don’t know what to write about it.” He tells you and keeps his eyes on the paper as if he was avoiding your gaze in case he saw the dissatisfied look etched on your face. He’s a bit worried you’ll think just he’s asking for your help simply to just copy off you.
“Oh well— you’ll basically just choose a theme in the book and write about how you interpret the idea yourself and how it would make readers feel about it as a ‘universal thought.’ ” You explain to him. “So from the little information you’ve gathered from the book, what do you think one of the themes are?” You ask him.
Simon sighed and thought long and hard about it. “From what I knows is that the two are in a forbidden love story, something about family drama between their families. After the death of the two lovers, both families came together and let their resentment for each other go.”
You smile and nod at him, “That’s pretty much what the entire story is about. So write about that.” You tell him as you motion to his paper.
Simon nods and writes down a couple of notes to keep in mind. While he was writing he asked you, “What did you write about?”
You look at him and then at your papers. “It might sound a little silly…” You mumble as you avoid his gaze.
Simon raises a brow. “How so? Either way, I’m not one to judge considering I didn’t bother to read the book all the way.”
You glance at him as you fidget with your pencil. “Well, I focused on reincarnation and how cruel the world can be sometimes. The reincarnation part, I was worried the Mr. Jones would tell me not to include it but he told me to keep it, said it would be interesting since some people do believe in reincarnation.” You explain as you see that Simon seems to have his full attention on you, much to your surprise.
“So I wrote about how love isn’t always a fairytale love story, life can be cruel and i believe we’ve lived many lives before our current one, our souls are old and our bodies are a temporary thing. Romeo and Juliet never got their happy ending due to some petty drama between their families that ultimately caused them their happiness and eventually their lives. But I like to think that, reincarnation is a thing, their lifetime may not have been kind to them but maybe their next will be. They’ll find each other again and get to live the life they deserve.” You explain and as you do, Simon listens to every word, he watches you as you explain watching you ramble on about your thoughts of the matter, he watches the way your eyes dart between looking at him and then around the room, you lips moving with every word.
Unbeknownst to you and Simon, he was falling in love with you.
"I believe soulmates are a thing, Romeo and Juliet are soulmates and soulmates always find their way back to each other in every lifetime, romantic or not everyone has a soulmate." You explain as you glance over your papers.
"How do you know you've found your soulmate?" Simon asks confused on that part.
You then turn to Simon as you both stare at each other for a period of time. “You ever meet someone; and within seconds of your first interaction, you feel an immediate connection with them— like being around them just feels… right?” You ask him.
That question made something switch in Simon in his mind as he looks at you. “Yeah… I think I know what you’re talking about.”
✯Flashback end✯
You arrive at the parking lot of the hospital as you finish telling Jared how you met Simon, of course a shortened version of your story, just the main things. “But yeah, after that day we started hanging out more and more and eventually we began dating in my freshman year of collage.” You tell him as you Finish up your story, Jared turns the car into the parking lot, quickly finding an empty spot.
“He seems different compared to you. I guess opposites really do attract.” Jared chuckled as he sets the car in park and turns off the car.
“You could say that, I guess.” You say, considering your current situation with Simon.
You step out the car and Jared follows behind you as you both enter the hospital building. “I’ll be in here for a bit. You don’t have to stay, you can do your own thing and I’ll let you know when my appointment is over.” You tell him as you close the car door, Jared doing the same.
He shakes his head as you both make your way to the building. “It’s fine. I don’t mind, besides I figured you could use as much support as you need.” Jared says giving you a small smile.
You return one back and nod accepting his offer before you turn to the assistant at the desk. “Hi, I’m here to see Dr. Raven for my check up.” You tell the woman as she nods looking up on her computer to check.
“Prenatal check up for y/n l/n?” She asks you as you confirm it with a nod. “Alright, Dr. Raven is currently still with her patient but she should be done in the next ten minutes. Feel free to sit in the waiting room and she’ll be with you shortly.” The assistant smiled at you as you nod back with a smile.
“Thank you.” You mutter as you head over to the lounging area and sit in a chair seeing other woman in the room, some by themselves, some with a relative or another male which you assume may be their partner but you’re not quick to assume. You notice Jared looking at few pamphlets displayed on the wall. He picks up a couple of pamphlets before sitting down in the chair next to you.
He begins to read one, the title read ‘Fetal Development’, another pamphlet was about how pregnancy affects the woman during and after pregnancy, and the last one for expecting fathers. You’re a little confused on why he’s reading, possibly to pass the time but there are magazines laid out on the little table next to you that he could read. He notices your confusion and points to the pamphlet before speaking. “It’s good to know this stuff, ya know be prepared,” He said as he skimmed over the information.
You him and nod your head. “That’s good.” You reply back as you examine the pictures on the pamphlet.
You can tell there’s something else he wants to say as he takes a deep breath. “Uh… Stacy and I are planing to have kids soon in the near future, kinda thought this would be a good opportunity to read up on this for when the time comes.” He says as you notice his smile becomes wider at the thought of it.
You look at Jared and raise your brow in surprise. “Really? That’s great.” You say as Jared nods continues to smile.
“Thanks. We decided to wait till we settled down, and now that we’re getting there we decided it was time.” He says.
You didn’t think your sister would ever want any kids, you took her as the type to be childfree and live her life being single and on her own. But now that she has Jared by her side, she’s really changed, in a good way of course. “That’s amazing to hear, looks like my baby will have a cousin soon.” You say as you feel your bag vibrate and a chime sounds, opening your bag you fish out your phone and read the screen seeing there’s a message from Stacy.
Stacy: How’s the check up going?
You: Still in the waiting room, just got here but it’s shouldn’t be too long.
You send the message and revive a reply a few seconds later.
Stacy: Oh, well let me know how my little niece or nephew is doing, make sure you follow whatever your doctors says to keep you and the baby healthy. Also when you come back I have a surprise for you ;)
You look at the message a bit confused but smile, a bit excited for the surprise.
“Yn.” A voice calls out to you, you look up to see a nurse with a clip board in hand scanning around the waiting room looking for you.
You stand up letting yourself be known, “Right here.” You say with a smile.
The nurse looks at you and offers you a kind smile. “Perfect, Dr. Raven is ready to see you.” She says.
You nod your head and look at Jared, “You okay with waiting out here?” You ask him as he looks up at you and nodded.
“yeah, I’ll be fine,” Jared says and gives you a reassuring smile and nod. “Good luck.”
You smile at him before making your way towards the nurse feeling anxious and antsy for some reason. You didn’t know why you felt like this but then again, you’ll be seeing your baby for the first time at least through a screen until the big day you deliver the baby.
As you walk through the halls with the nurse leading you through. You spot a couple in the distance, the woman with a noticeable bump as he husband smiles at her as the walk into a room with his hand around her waist leading her into the room. You feel a emptiness overcome you as you suddenly feel your body grow cold, if you didn’t feel alone before, you definitely felt it right now. You imagine what could’ve been if Simon wanted to stick around, how these visits would be less lonely and filled with more joy then the melancholy feeling you were experiencing right now. He would’ve been able to see your growing baby, see your bump grow bigger over the month before you finally get to meet them and live the rest of your lives as parents.
Thought of your memory with Simon, talking to him about Romeo and Juliet you found it amusing with how your life had played out, almost like the story, life didn’t play out the way you wanted with Simon. Life really can be cruel.
