"fake jealousy" prank headcanon: yankees edition
a/n: yankees making me mad again, but as promised a new headcanon!! remember my requests are open, especially for hc ideas i love writing these!! the bryan woo fic will be posted next week along with the second chapter of the cam fic! thank you for reading!! i love youu!!
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Max Fried:
Max disappears for a little while, and by the time he comes back you’re sitting there with your arms crossed like he abandoned you for half the season.
He walks up, instantly noticing the look on your face. “What’s wrong?”
And you just shrug. “Nothing. I just figured since you were gone for the next three to five business days, I should start moving on.”
He’d blink because he knows he was gone maybe fifteen minutes. Once he realizes you’re joking because he left too long, he gets that quiet amused look.
“Do I need clearance every time I walk away now?”
Then he’d pull you in by the waist anyway, because he knows you’re being ridiculous but he also likes that you missed him.
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Ben Rice:
Ben gets excited after a win and hugs Cam first, all quick and automatic, and that’s enough for you to decide this is now personal.
When he comes over smiling you just look at him, “Interesting.”
He immediately looks confused.
“What?”
You fold your arms, “Nothing. I just didn’t realize Cam got first hug privileges.”
The second he realizes what you mean, he goes red.
“It was just a win hug! That wasn’t even a real hug-hug!”
He’d get so flustered trying to explain why hugging Cam after the game is not a betrayal, which only makes it funnier. Then he’d pull you in, “There. Better?”
“Hmm, no.”
“C’mon”, he says when you walk away.
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Giancarlo Stanton:
Giancarlo comes back eating something, totally calm, and you look at the food first and then at him like he personally offended you.
“Wow.”
He already knows that tone. “What?”
You stare at him.
“You went and got food without me. You didn’t even think to ask if I wanted anything. That’s crazy.”
He just looks at you, “I literally asked you if you wanted anything.”
Which only makes it worse, because now you have to double down and act like that’s not the point.
And when you keep acting wounded over the fact he enjoyed fries and chicken tenders without you, he’d laugh low and hold the food just out of reach for a second to be evil.
Then he’d finally hand it over with that smug look like he’s humoring you.
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Jazz Chisholm Jr.:
Jazz is over there dying laughing at something one of the guys said, and now suddenly you’ve decided that’s suspicious.
When he comes over, still smiling, you just narrow your eyes.
“Must’ve been hilarious.”
He’d already start grinning.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, I just haven’t seen you laugh that hard at me in a while. Maybe I need to step my game up. Or maybe Judge is just funnier.”
Jazz would think that was the funniest thing ever.
“You jealous of a joke right now?”
And because he’s Jazz, he’d absolutely make it worse on purpose, probably calling out, “Yo, she mad ‘cause you funny!”
Now everybody knows and he’s enjoying this way too much.
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Anthony Volpe:
Anthony offers to go grab drinks, and by the time he gets back you’ve decided he clearly likes the bartender more than you.
He walks up all sweet, handing you your drink, and you just stare at it.
“I’m actually not thirsty anymore.”
He freezes, “What?”
You sigh dramatically.
“You were gone so long I had time to reflect. I just think if you loved me, you wouldn’t disappear into the depths of the club for twenty years.”
Anthony would panic for a second because he’d think you might actually be upset.
“No, the line was long—“
“I still got your drink—”
Then once he realizes you’re joking, he’d squint at you.
“That’s insane.”
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Aaron Judge:
Aaron hugs Giancarlo after a big win maybe a quick one-armed celebratory hug and you immediately decide this is unacceptable.
When he comes over, you just look at him and say, “You looked happy.”
He already knows this is about to be ridiculous.
“About the win?”
“No. About your little postgame embrace.”
Aaron would give you that calm look like he’s trying not to laugh too early.
“You’re jealous because I hugged my teammate after a win?”
When you keep going, acting like you should’ve gotten first postgame affection privileges, he’d just shake his head and pull you closer.
“You want a hug, just ask.”
And then of course he gives you one that makes the whole prank backfire because now you can’t even stay fake mad.
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Carlos Rodón:
Carlos hypes up a teammate after a play, all loud and excited, and you immediately decide that’s rude.
When he comes over, you just go, “It’s nice you know how to compliment people.”
He’d stop mid-step.
“What does that mean?”
You shrug, “Nothing. Just interesting that you had all that energy for them before me.”
Carlos would react like you just accused him of a crime.
“Oh my god.”
“Are you serious?”
“You want compliments right now? I can do that!”
And because he’s Carlos, he’d get louder and more dramatic the longer you keep a straight face.
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Jasson Domínguez:
Jasson’s over there hyping up one of the guys after a good play, and by the time he gets back to you, you’ve already decided it’s a problem.
You just look at him, “That was nice.”
He’d blink, “What was?”
You shrug. “The little pep talk. Glad somebody gets that version of you.”
At first he’d be confused, but once it clicks, that amused smile would show up.
“Are you jealous because I said good job?”
And when you keep acting like that’s not the issue, he’d step closer and grin.
“You want compliments too baby?”
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Cody Bellinger:
Earlier Cody stole your fries like it was his birthright, but then later you watch him willingly hand some of his food to a friend.
That’s enough for you.
When he comes back, you just look at him, “Oh, so you do know how to share.”
He’d pause and immediately start laughing.
“No way this is about fries.”
You’d stare at him.
“You steal mine, but suddenly you’re generous with everybody else. That’s interesting.”
Cody would think this was hilarious. He’d grin, hold out food to you like he’s feeding a dramatic child, “You want your official apology fries?”
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Oswaldo Cabrera:
Oswaldo needs help with something small and asks someone else before asking you, and now you’re acting like you’ve been replaced.
When he comes over, you go, “It’s fine. Clearly you have other people for that now.”
His face would fall immediately. “What? No.”
You sigh. “I just didn’t know I got demoted.”
He’d get so sweet so fast, apologizing even though he has no reason to.
“No, no, no, come here.”
“You didn’t get replaced.”
The prank backfires because he’s too nice and now you feel bad.
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Amed Rosario:
You text Amed and he doesn’t answer right away, but then you happen to see him reply to a José first.
So now you’re waiting for him with an attitude.
“Oh, you can text back. Good to know.”
Amed would narrow his eyes immediately. “You are not doing this.”
You shrug, “I’m just saying, the response time difference is interesting.”
He’d look at you like you’ve lost it.
“Are you timing my messages now?”
Then he’d start playing along, acting like he needs to issue formal apology statements for his texting priorities.
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Ryan McMahon:
You’re out getting food, and Ryan comes back remembering exactly what one of the guys wanted no hesitation, no questions but then gets to you and has to ask what you wanted again.
You just stare at him. “Wow.”
He’d already know that tone means trouble. “What?”
You fold your arms.
“Nothing. I just think it’s interesting you memorized their order like it was the most important mission of your life, and meanwhile I apparently need to reintroduce myself.”
Ryan would pause, looking at you like this cannot be a real issue.
“Babe, are you serious?”
And when you keep acting offended over the principle of it, he’d just let out that dry little laugh, shake his head, and hand you your food.
“You’re ridiculous.”
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Trent Grisham:
A friend needs help with something dumb and Trent goes to help before coming back to you, and now you’ve decided he’s too invested in other people.
When he walks over, “Nice to know where your loyalty lies.”
Trent would barely react at first.
“That sounds serious.”
You sigh, “You solved their problem before even checking on me. That’s fine.”
He’d look at you for one second and deadpan, “Should I start taking numbers?”
Which would make it very hard not to laugh.
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Cam Schlittler:
Cam hugs Ben after a win, quick and happy, and you decide that was way too much enthusiasm for your liking.
When he comes back over, you just fold your arms.
“So are you and Ben busy, or…?”
He’d look genuinely confused.
“What?”
You raise an eyebrow, “I just saw that little celebration hug. You looked pretty happy over there.”
Cam would immediately get flustered because he wouldn’t know whether to laugh or defend himself.
“It was just after the game—”
“That was just Ben—”
The more he tries to explain why hugging Ben isn’t a problem, the funnier it gets. Then once he realizes you’re joking, he’d shake his head with that embarrassed smile.
“That was insane babe.”
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José Caballero:
José is out there smiling for pictures with everybody else after the game, and now you’ve decided you’ve been neglected.
When he comes over, “Hope your little photo shoot went well.”
He’d immediately light up because he knows nonsense is coming.
“What did I do?”
You sigh, “Nothing. I just think it’s interesting that everybody else got camera ready José before me.”
José would lose it laughing. He’d absolutely make it worse too, probably asking if you want him to schedule an exclusive photoshoot just for you.
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