The stories we tell ourselves
Can you imagine investing yourself in the life of a stranger living on your street? To watch that person’s every move, every change in appearance, good or bad, every word written or spoken. Every morsel scrutinized, analysed for hidden meaning. And then to share your theories with all your neighbours from your side of the street, whom you don’t know either and who are doing the exact same thing you are, as are the people on the other side of street about the same stranger, but with the opposite point of view. It sounds crazy written like that, but that’s what we do here to some extent. And it doesn’t matter which side you are on, the pro-stranger or con-stranger, the mechanism is the same.
For the most part, it’s harmless fun I suppose (I’m very new to the neighborhood), no one needs to know, not even the object of our investment. Because at this point, we may feel we own at least a piece of that stranger. Hell, he’s tried to sell us enough stuff over the years for us to think so: his image, his fitness program, his autographs, his movies, his scarf with his birthday woven in the thread count, his whisky, and the magazines he appears on, yes, those a lot lately. We may resent him for it or lap it up, depending on which the side of the street we are standing on. When all of that happens behind closed doors, it’s fair game, emphasis on the word “game”.
But we must be wary of the stories we tell ourselves. Sometimes, we need to step into the middle of the street and see the stranger from a different point of view. No one is all good or all bad. I am very critical of the stranger right now. He was an ass, even if he bought the T-shirt (oh, that would make a good T-shirt for him, no?). And I’ll remain critical until he shows a little good faith. I know some of you think that will never happen, but I’m an optimist, so I give myself the right to step into the middle of the street sometimes.
Which brings me to the other side. It’s not because you love someone that you must condone everything he does. Imagine if we did that with our kids. Disregarding a pandemic is not okay; not respecting social distancing is not okay; having parties with people who have just travelled from another state as self isolation orders are in effect, or hanging out with someone who does, is not okay. Putting anyone on a pedestal because of her association with the stranger is just plain weird. Continuing to do so when she calls herself a whore, films herself half naked while hanging out with friends amid a pandemic, and while it is obvious the stranger and her are no longer together is what? Words fail me.
This is not a fairy tale.
