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How to Stop Talking Sh*t and Start Being Nice to Other Women (and Yourself in the Process)

Written by Erin Crowley, Gild Collective Intern

Now that Halloween is nearly upon us, let the endless costume judgments begin. We all know the girls who throw on a pair of animal ears and call it a costume, and the other girls who trash talk them as if it has some significant impact on their lives.

This year, I challenge you to let it go.

Nothing positive comes from assuming judgments or talking shit about the nearly-naked girl at a friendly Halloween party. Judging will only take away from both people’s energy. That’s right, when we talk badly about others - we are unintentionally bringing ourselves down too. 

Next time, try something positive instead of destructive. Focus on something you like about the person that you were initially judging and compliment them instead. Inner peace will come from bringing happiness to others, and in turn, the one being judged is usually much more approachable than we anticipated.

By reversing our outlook and forming a mindset that is positive and uplifting, we will create a lighter and more joyful reality for ourselves and everyone around us. But first, we must realize that if we are going to make the change, we must recognize that judgement comes from within. Our own insecurities are what root our judgement of others. 

Don’t worry, we all have been there, but here are some ways we can come to appreciate others...and more importantly, ourselves.

Beat the anxiety. We must combat our fear of judgement to become happy, relaxed, and at ease with ourselves. Judgements arise from traits we see in others that remind us of things we dislike about ourselves. If we can be at peace with ourselves, we will have no reason to judge another. Meditation, herbal teas, aromatherapy, and deep breathing are all wonderful ways to relieve the stress we put on ourselves to impress others. 

Find your own path. It is human-nature to believe that our way is the best way and disregard other people’s thinking, or on the contrary, to be so concerned with the right way that we lose track of our own path. I invite you to take a step back. When you begin to judge yourself or someone else, repeat this mantra. Notice your judgement, question it, and be curious about yourself and others. Embrace curiosity instead of judgement and you’ll be amazed by what you learn about yourself and the perspectives of others.

Be confident and empower. Confident women raise confidence in others. A truly confident woman will strive for the success of all women. After all, we’re in this together - and you never know who may become your best friend. This ideology is symbolic of my favorite sanskrit term. The light in me sees and honors the light in you. Namaste.

[gildcollective]

3 Ways to Take Your Girls Night From Bland to Brilliant

Written by Erin Crowley, Gild Collective Intern

Original post: www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa

We all know the priceless value in a good-old fashioned girls night, but seldom do we take the time to plan a fabulous evening with our soul sisters. We tend to become distracted by hectic work schedules, family get-togethers, dinner dates, and everyday tasks that seem to dictate our lives. What we need on a deeper level is to pencil-in time to spend with our support group. This is not only about staying in touch, it's primarily about the well-being of ourselves and our girlfriends. Spending time with loved ones contributes to healing - physically, mentally, and emotionally. As human-beings, we crave social interaction and affection. Hurried coffee dates, last-minute phone calls, and random Facebook Messenger conversations are not going to satisfy our hunger for companionship. Relationships are built upon communication and there's no better way to get our fix than to debrief the ins-and-outs of our beautiful lives over cupcakes and wine. We are all guilty of flaking on our girlfriends and it's time for a change. 

I challenge you to plan your most successful girls night yet, and here's how:

1. STOP! DROP!  AND PLAN!

How many times have we planted the seed of "let's catch up soon" or something similar? A quadrillion? This is why setting a date is crucial and action words are key! Next time, try to be specific and efficient. For example, "Let's plan a girls’ night after work on Friday. How do you feel about tacos and drinks at 6 p.m.?" This method will get your ideas flowing and plans rolling, allowing everyone to be on the same page. Decide upon a date, put it on your schedule, and set your plan in motion. You go, girl!

2. Old habits die... beautifully!

Dare to change it up! Plan to have dinner at a new restaurant (use Yelp!) or experiment with a recipe (from Pinterest!), engage in a new activity (like rock climbing!), shift your taste in music and check out a local show, or create a masterpiece (get crafty!) - ask what types of things your friends have been up to and jump out of your comfort zone! You may even choose go out on a limb and invite your co-worker who shyly implies her lack of social life or reach out to your long-lost sorority sisters. Don't forget about friends of the past who still hold a special place in your heart. Becoming involved with a wide variety of people keeps parties fresh and interesting, and you never know who you may cross paths with! Community building is fundamental in personal development, and remember - networking makes the work go 'round.

3. Sit back, relax, and be present.

We all know how it feels to be engaged in a conversation with a person who is half-listening.  Whether they're attached to their cell phone, daydreaming about their agenda for next week, scoping out the cutie across the way, or simply have tuned out your heartfelt story. One of the most important skills in relationship building is listening. If your girlfriend wants to discuss the same boy she has been troubling over for months or the pros and cons of a new career opportunity - let her rant and be present! She needs someone to ration with so it doesn’t tear her apart from the inside out. In the same respect, you should assume your soul sister will listen to you when you over-excitedly rant about your new work project or theorize a new idea you developed during yoga this morning. This is what friends are for. Practice efficient planning, non-judgement and centering yourself in the present moment, and you’ll be amazed by how much your relationship (and life) skills improve.

Original post: nipstudent.tumblr.com