#goatmail

[sparkly70]

I ❤️my friends.

[the-nerdmuffin]

You've Goat Mail! My friend got me this #goatmail goat. His name is Totes. He's ma goat. I think he looks quite fetching in my hat. #goatmail #goat #totesmagotes #magoat #totes (at Grand Wayne Convention Center)

[the-nerdmuffin]

Meet Totes. He's ma goat. #youvegoatmail #goatmail #goat #totesmagotes

[funwithagoat]

Penny Wise Goat Foolish

Hiya Goatsters, It was brought to my attention that Bernie Sanders has a net worth of only $528,000. Some claim that it's because he hasn't dipped his hand into the Washington cookie jar and helped himself to some sweet insider trading deals since he is a man of high principle and integrity. Maybe he is that principled man. But he must also be financially inept. His salary for each of the last 24 years as a Congressman and Senator (in inflation adjusted dollars) has been $174,000. You'd have to be a bloody idiot not to have amassed a net worth of at least triple the amount that he has just through modest savings, investments, and real estate over that time period. Ask any financial planner. Some have said that he may be walking the walk of his Socialist principles, living off what he needs and giving the rest away... like Jesus or Gandhi. Maybe that's the case too. But if so, that completely undermines his claim of more prosperity for all through Socialism. And it's confounding too since JC and MG were never heads of state. Remember, Bernie is the guy that said we didn't need twenty three varieties of deodorant on our supermarket shelves. I might only need a Lada (that complete piece of crap that marked the apogee of Soviet automotive technology) but I want a Silverado. I only need oatmeal for breakfast... but I friggin' hate oatmeal.... pass the Captain Crunch, please. You don't need 102 beers to pick from at The Old Goat. Bernie is saying drink Bud, it's union made... Hell, I'd be out of business, all I'd have left for customers would be Mort LaPointe, Mike Fraumeni and Christian the tree guy. I'm so confused. How would I be more prosperous by forgoing consumer choice and taking an oath of poverty? Ascetics have more fun..... said no one ever. Having Donald Trump's billions or Hillary's billion doesn't necessarily qualify a person to be President. But if a person can't responsibly shepherd their own substantial income of $174,000 a year, how can they be counted on to be an effective steward of a $3 trillion enterprise as chief executive? Bernie might be a nice guy, honest, and all that. So what. What's all this got to do with our pub? Not much, we were just having this discussion yesterday, and I didn't have anything else to write about. Tonight we have Justin Walton live with his impressive 300 song repertoire.... and you get to c h o o s e which songs you want....hmmm, what a coincidence. The amazing Trevor Johnson is live Saturday. Heads up! STREAM REGGAE will be live in the house for Halloween night! Forget about all the other parties, we've got Maine's best Reggae band... so get your Rasta costumes ready and bring a thirst for Red Stripe on special! See you at The Goat, Scottster

[funwithagoat]

The Goat Made Right Here

You've seen that woman before. Okay, well not her exactly, just some other "buy local" Nazi. "What do you have on Draft?", she asked. Bavik Pilsner, Geary's Pale, Geary's, Geary's Autumn, Stone IPA, Coors, Guinness, Shiner's Oktoberfest, Gumption Hard Cider, I replied. "What do you have local?" Geary's "Don't like Geary's. What do you have dark and local?" Geary's Autumn, and in bottles, I've got a nice Porter by Southern Tier, they're a small brewery from New York. "That's not local. Oh, give me a Pemaquid". Was your car built in Maine? "My husband built my car in the back yard" Really? Where did the parts come from? "Massachussetts, it's electric" How about the batteries, where is the lead from? "Are you trying to score points here" I'm trying to sell beer (place Pemequid bottle on bar). "Oh, that's too big.... can I get a cork to take that with me?" No, it's against the law. "Well, I'm not buying this". Fine, have a nice day (take bottle off the bar). We have a local band live tonight (Friday)! They're mostly from Gardiner, is that friggin' local enough? It's The Business and nobody brings a party to The Goat like The Business does. So, pull up you your big kid undies (hand woven on the banks of the Kennebec, please) and get on over here tonight. Saturday, we have imported music from England. We send them aircraft parts, they send us John Hasnip and The English Pop Invasion. You see, lady, that's how the world works; we sell stuff to other places and other places sell stuff here... try buying green grapes grown in Maine in February. When was the last time a television was built in Bangor? And you can't eat locally sourced lobster in Arizona. See you at The Goat, Scottster

[funwithagoat]

Gridiron Goats

Hiya Goatsters, I've got a fantasy football team in a fantasy league. Just about everyone does. We've got a weekly NFL pick 'em pool in a secret envelope behind the bar. ... No, we don't. We've got college football on TV on Saturdays, if we remember to turn on the TV. And we've got pro football on TV on Thursdays, Sundays and Mondays... but that's really so we can all monitor the performance of the players on our fantasy teams. And to see how our pool picks are doing. .... No, it isn't. We've got Shelby wearing her Cowboy's number 88 jersey to work four times a week. (Yes, It's getting ripe). We've got Stephanie having hot flashes back in the kitchen fantasizing about Tom Brady. Only Tina doesn't care about football, that must be a Korean thing. But oddly enough, people still come in and ask us to put on some baseball or golf. What do they think, The Goat is some kind of sports bar or something? They think they can just come in and request something to be put on TV, like NASCAR. Friggin' NASCAR. It's football season, okay. Maybe I'll let them have some soccer, a little, but other than that... football.... or nothing. I know, the World Series is coming up. The Red Sox won't be in it. So, who cares. Alright, I guess if it's a Tuesday or something and you really want to watch the Series we can put it on... but it's two beers per inning minimum, deal? Anyway for the next four months we can forget all about Hillary and Bernie and Donald and just talk about Gronk and Tom and Bill..... and even Peyton because we have to have at least one person to hate on. While we're all involved in America's best sport we can enjoy some more Oktoberfest Beer from Shiner and Sierra Nevada.... delicious and I was able to get a couple more kegs by special order. Saturday night, instead of watching the big game between Prophylac Tech and Alabama we can enjoy the rocking crazy ass blues of cigar box guitarist Ben Logan. Open Mic is Thursday with Mr. Hasnip, we're still trying to book some one for Friday.... I'll let you know on facebook. See you at The Goat, Scottster

[funwithagoat]

Goat Numbers

Hiya Goatsters, 59:18.... how long my bike ride took today. 15.... miles I rode. 61:37.... exact time between my pre-ride beer and my post-ride beer. 346.... number of friggin' hills climbed on the ride. 3.... number of friggin' cars that almost hit me. 4.... the total number of cars I saw. 2:21 .... time between my first post-ride beer and my second post-ride beer. 6.... number of chores I should have done instead of riding my bike. 0.... the number of chores I did do. 3.... the nights of live music we have coming up this weekend; Open Mic with Albert Lord on Thursday, RUCKUS live and kickin' rock-n-roll Friday, and the amazing country-bluesy-sassy-beautiful Ronda Dale on Saturday with Rob Babson. 364... number of days left until I take the bicycle out again. See you at The Goat, Scottster

[funwithagoat]

A Farewell of Goatish Proportions

Hiya Goatsters, I don't feel much like writing a Goatmail today... because there is really only one thing I can talk about. Gotta find a new muse... next week. Jeff Noel has played at The Goat in various forms for the last 10 years; He's been Half a Salmon, Acoustic Chi, Jeff Noel & (fill in the blank),or just plain Jeff Noel, showing up about once every four or five weeks. He has played for us something like 100 times. Always affable and highly competent, it has been my pleasure to host him each and every time he has appeared. Sadly, this Friday will be his last show. Cold winters and Paul LePage have driven him away, so Jeff is moving to Los Alamos, New Mexico. Please come on down for his final curtain call. It's going to be a great night and he'll be bringing along two of his most popular partners; The Lovely Tina Charest and keyboard Maestro Darrell Briggs. If the melancholy and nostalgic nature of Friday's 9 PM show doesn't suite your taste.... well, then you should probably wait until Saturday night to join us. Saturday night at 9 PM we're hosting Maine's most famous hip hop band, The Shizzle. It may be true that white men can't jump. But, damn it, they can play some hip hop. See you at The Goat, Scottster PS PaintNite is sold out for September 15 so we have another booked for October 6th... here is the link... better hurry only 16 tickets left! https://www.paintnite.com/pages/events/view/portland/914886