#godithurts

[annndead]

I'm waiting. I'm waiting for you to tell me about that night you spent in absolute state of vulnerability, I'm waiting for you to tell me how much you've lied to me, I'm waiting for you to tell me about that one thing you're so embarrassed to admit, I'm waiting for you to tell me that you've been hating me all this time, I'm waiting for you to open up and tell me about your insecurites, I'm waiting for you to tell me that you don't want me in your life anymore, I'm waiting for you to tell me what's hurting you every time you feel bad about something. I'm waiting for you to tell me that you're giving up on us .

I'm just waiting while giving you all the love I possibly have inside me.

[myparentsaretrying]

I went to watch my little brother play basketball today. He did well and I was, am so very proud of him. My jealousy still brought me to tears though. I didn't get to play basketball or football or hockey or any sport I wanted. I couldn't stomach playing with girls because it gave me what I now know as dysphoria so I didn't play. I didn't get to run around on the court with other boys and play and it hurts. I didn't get anything normal little boys get. I was so damn jealous I could taste it.