#godkid chronicles

[sneverussape]

i sometimes forget how young my godkids are and how small their worlds are at the moment that my role in it is quite significant.

i saw my three godkids (they’re brothers and also my godsons so it’s quite convenient) last week. the oldest is 7 and he absolutely lost it at my presence, like full on blubbering and “I MISSED YOUUUU” and it fully struck me that no matter what i thought of myself these kids for some reason think im an absolute living legend or something and proceeded to fight over my attention and space for the next five hours. i constantly had to help build lego planes and apartment complexes, tidy magnetiles, watch Minecraft, wipe crumbs, watch provide myself as a personal sofa slash headrest etc.

when we bid goodbye to each other (the oldest two dropped me off at the office with the driver as they went off to mathemagics class) the second born wouldn’t stop hugging me and saying “love you” and the oldest had the saddest eyes as he said “bye tata i miss you already 🥺”

YALL how am i supposed to work like this!! ahahaha i need to see these kids more often. 🥹

[sneverussape]

my godkid’s bday was on Monday and i got him a present. his absolute fave is Paw Patrol. I refuse to buy him merch for it because ACAB even if it’s cutesy puppies. i don’t ever want him to consider being a cop or a soldier as his future career. I’ve never bought any of them toys that are weapons (guns, specifically) or even Marvel-linked because I don’t want them getting hooked on that franchise and I frankly think they’re too young for it. It’s been legos and other generic building or homemaking toys like Magnetiles and cooking sets since day 1.

I did however get him a sweet ass Thomas the tank engine railroad set WITH electric bridge and my god…..I’m so jealous of it

[sneverussape]

my 6yo godkid seems to have grown up SO much like…he can play the guitar now???? he can read and write stories????? he can actually already hold a decent conversation with me????? didn’t i just hold this child a day after his birth, with him still swaddled in his Moses blanket, didn’t i just kiss his downy hair, didn’t i just hold my arms open as he crawled towards me in the grass in London bridge park, didn’t i just let him clutch at my fingers as he took his first steps, didn’t i carry him for what seemed like miles just so he could fall asleep—

didn’t i just…?! 😭😭😭

[sneverussape]

i’ve been invited by my 3yo godson’s parents to attend Family Fun Day (“we already got you a shirt!”) at his school and it’ll be at 8am on a Saturday, an hour and a half away from where I live. I’d need to either drive out early, or stay in the area the night before to take the stress out of me waking too early. I’m still undecided tbh because work exhausts me in such a way that weekends are sacred (and they also live near where i work so 👋 it’s like going there for the nth time this week) and am I now willing to throw away much-awaited weekend alone time for 6 hours with hundreds of little kids under a blazing hot tropical sun?

deep inside i know I’ll fold. the kids are only little once and these things won’t last forever and sooner or later they’ll want to do stuff on their own but I’m also…very tired. 😂😭

[sneverussape]

so the godkid wanted to try ice skating yesterday. neither his parents knows how to and logic told them that that left me, as godparent, with the chance to flex my “3rd parent” powers as they entrusted their child’s physical safety on ice to me (!!!!) despite me not having skated at all since 11 years ago.

suffice to say, muscle memory truly does work especially if you’re desperate to keep your charge from bodily harm.

kid LOVED it and was even able to skate a bit on his own. im left dealing with the aches and pains stinging in muscles i never even knew i had just helping him keep upright and also one laborious trip to the bathroom where I had to carry him (he’d taken his skates off but didn’t want his socks to touch the floor; EYE was still wearing my skates) so he could pee. i feel like this will be a core memory of his somehow though so am just grateful it involved no blood or broken bones. 😂

[sneverussape]

now that my two godsons are older I’ve had to referee more fights than ever. to be fair to the 3yo, the 5yo does sometimes play dirty and has a nasty habit of being purposefully mean or hurtful to the younger one. i TRY to get between them and explain to both how one is hurting the other and the right way to make amends but KIDS yknow. fists and feet are flying faster than you can keep track of em.

now i grew up with my brothers and mine do NOT get along. like…they are archenemies in ways that are not even funny. I’m trying to avoid that for my godkids so i try to reason with them a lot. the problem is the oldest favors the youngest by a LOT and the second born is already feeling it so he gets left out a lot of the time. to make up for it i give him extra attention but also try to explain to the oldest one to be as nice and patient to the second born in the same way he is to the youngest but at the moment it’s all flying over his head.

idk any tips to help avoid sibling rivalries or at least try not to aggravate them? lol. im 2 steps away from buying a parenting book myself.

[sneverussape]

random but my godson has figured out how to work his dad’s phone so after work yesterday my phone started ringing and it was him yelling “<my name and title> WHERE ARE YOU?? I NEED YOU HERE”

me, panicked that he’d hurt himself or something: “??? are you okay? where’s your dad?”

him: “I need you to come over like RIGHT NOW. please.”

me: “ok, i can but can you tell me what’s wrong?”

him: “i built a tower and i need you to see it. and a castle too. 🥺”

me: ………

him: “come here ok? please.”

me: “ok ok, I’ll be there.”

him: “THANK YOU!!!”

then promptly hung up. :)))))))

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for the record this is the tower/castle:

he did an excellent job. 😌

[sneverussape]

kvetching ahead, topic: godkid’s school.

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BRUH my godson had his first parents’ day and i went along coz he wanted me to and the review his white teacher said was so ?????

problem 1 - he can’t communicate in straight english, I.e. there’s always a word or two from another language mixing in. my colonizer brother, the kid knows FIVE LANGUAGES. he’s FIVE YEARS OLD. i doubt the teacher could speak a language other than English???

my friends (the parents) were livid. the teacher was basically saying that since my godkid is half-brit (and not even white, god forbid) only, then of course he’s gonna have a hard time with language and we were like ??? he has no problems speaking any of the languages he knows, and we’re not in ENGLAND. this is a YOU problem. ofc the kid is going to know the local language and it will mix in. he’s FIVE. oh my god???? the racial undertones were rancid.

problem 2 - he can read fine but they’re not sure about his comprehension re: what he read. my friend was like, “yeah WE taught him how to read at home but isn’t it high time YOU also do your jobs?” lmao. the other kids in the class don’t even know HOW to read, and they come at my godkid for this? he should be put in an advanced class at this point.

this is not a cheap school. this is an international British school where expats send their kids and the quality is just so shitty oh my god esp given the insane tuition yall have to pay per kid.