#goldenguys

[goldenize]

Annie kissed me on the forehead and now I suddenly don’t care if I stay 5′6″ forever. （*゜ー゜*）

[goldenize]

I got him the chocolate and then he turned the tables on me. (●__●)

mf asked me why I like VDay so much and idk WHY it’s embarrassing to just admit I love the romance of it and want a cute datefriend to buy FULL PRICE candy for and stuff and just indulge in all of the cute shit of it BUT LIKE FOR SOME REASON IT IS!?!?!?!!??!? (≧﹏ ≦)

He didn’t even think I was weird or anything for it, he just fed me some of the chocolates and told me I was cute just because he was more than happy to ride a role reversal omfggggg well I hope he enjoyed it, bullying him a little is fun so he should have his fun too. (ò_óˇ)

He says he’ll get me something next year if I’m not dating anyone by then but my little weeb heart tells him to look up White Day and I’ll actually lose my shit if he remembers lol q(≧▽≦q)

[goldenize]

Oh man~  ✪ ω ✪

I went to get my license and stuff sorted out while Annie stayed in the room and I come back to him just chilling listening to music but he like had all these notes he was writing down on his hands again, but I didn’t want to interrupt him and he was listening to Black Parade so like, yeah dude, I’m not about to kill your vibe. (❁´◡`❁) 

Anyways, songs weren’t in order and he said it wasn’t on shuffle, that it was a specific order... 

Long story short: I could listen to him talk about his analysis on the story of Black Parade FOREVER! (o′┏▽┓｀o)

[goldenize]

He’s tripping over himself o(*≧▽≦)ツ┏━┓

I think Annie’s getting taller kinda fast or smth cause he’s like... tripping up and down stairs a lot more lately.  I don’t think he realizes it and it’s friggin HILARIOUS. q(≧▽≦q)

Tho helloooooo can my body wake the fuck up already!?!!?!?!??? (ˉ▽ˉ；)

[goldenize]

So busy!!! 〒▽〒

I can’t believe I let my queue run out!!! (((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))

Oof, me and Annie have been moving around p fast lately but mostly cause we haven’t been able to find places to stay the night and it’s been getting cold SO FAST so we been sleeping on the road.  He doesn’t really wanna go back to the southwest rn and I get that, but tbh we can trust it to be WARM there!! o(TヘTo)

I mean maybe NM would be good enough??  So long as we stay on the Texas side???  Idk, he’s just been a little gun-shy of going back down there so soon and I guess I don’t really blame him. ╯︿╰

At least we’re somewhere with a kitchen now!!! I found a recipe for chocolate babka and he seemed super excited about it.  Apparently he makes some killer pierogis too?  He says that the amount of flour we’d have to get wouldn’t really be worth it right now, but if we need it for babka I don’t see why he couldn’t.  Maybe it’d just make too many of them for us to eat before they go bad?  Though there’s other people here (one large group too!!!) if he wanted to unload some??  Or I’m sure SOMEONE would be willing to take the ingredients we can’t carry??? ¯\(°_o)/¯

Man when I get a car, I’m getting a good cooler cause if Annie wants to cook he should get to cook dammit!!!  Nothing sadder than wasted food that ultimately ends up weighing you down though, it’s a terrible trade off but a necessary one SIIIIGH ¯\ ╯︿╰ /¯

Well I turn 17 in a few days tho so I’ll be able to bump my permit to a license soon!  Gonna go on the lookout for a car and in a couple months only being able to have what we can carry won’t be as much of a problem! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

(Plus saving MAJOR cash on travel and place to sleep!!! ψ(｀∇´)ψ)

I guess I’ll also find out if Annie wants to keep living like this with me?  Idk what to think about it rn. (´。＿。｀)

[goldenize]

Oh my GOD

I made SUCH AN ASS of myself. (≧﹏ ≦)

So lowkey I have THE WORST FUCKING SOCIAL ANXIETY and I MADE AN ASS OF MYSELF at Annie yesterday but he’s just such a goddamn sweetheart ALSO with ALL THE SOCIAL ANXIETY. /_ \

Oh my god, it wasn’t even his fault either like... okay if there is one hill I’ll die on, it’s for literally every hotel, motel, hostel, EVERYTHING to not call a full bed a double. ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

They are LITERALLY THE SAME THING and telling this poor boy who has never booked accommodations IN HIS LIFE that all they have is “a single double” is what bad fanfic tropes are MADE OF (ノへ￣、)

(I don’t mean it that trope is perfect awkward comedy)

It was sleeting and so yeah, okay, I’m gonna cave, I’m getting actual sneakers and socks, I should probz put my gym membership to use, for the free showers if anything. （；´д｀)

But oh my god, I need to remember that me and Annie really still don’t know each other that well, I got way overconfident that we’ve got each other kinda figured out, but it’s not really on such a level where like...

Okay so I guess I got annoyed on his behalf and he’s been really awkward about getting hugged and shit and I’m just a very physically affectionate guy and I know that and I’m touch starved as hell, so I kinda hang onto him a lot and I been trying to stop and so I thought he was upset we had to share a bed because of that but he wasn’t and I was getting kind of upset for him because I didn’t want him to feel stupid about an easy mistake but I was getting ahead of myself and he thought I was mad at him ANYWAY and so he just kinda grabbed all his stuff and I thought he dipped and okay yeah, that scared the crap out of me, but he doesn’t know I have these weird hang ups about that kinda thing, so I went looking for him and this place has some alcove with phone booths and Annie’s sitting on a bench in there. (˘･_･˘)

Okay so like, I got upset and cranky cause it was still cold and okay YEAH I need pants, I can’t always depend on following warm weather and I don’t have a vehicle to retreat to anymore and I shouldn’t decide it’d be fine for almost the year it’d take to get my license and buy a car, so I’m gonna suck it up and get some pants but I mean THAT’S NOT THE POINT （＞人＜；）

I was looking for the hoodie and it wasn’t in my bag and like... Annie took it and he was REALLY upset because he made it sound like he was taking it back and just he spent the last 5 months insisting it’s mine now and he said he wasn’t mad at me just REALLY confused at me and why I was acting the way I was (HE EVEN SAID A SWEAR) and I’m saying it’s because we’re sharing a bed and I know he doesn’t like being touched and he says that I’m stupid and he’s just not used to being touched so like. (ノへ￣、)

I forget that I had the feeling he was touch starved but he just never really acts on it on his own, so I started thinking he was just being polite and awkward and I was getting into my own head again thinking maybe he was just not fighting me on anything or because he feels like he owes me and oh my god, thinking about it now the entire reason I was cool with keeping him was because I thought he wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do even with that potential “imbalance” between us and I started talking myself into forgetting that.  Uuuugh oh my god. (*/n＼*)

He said he likes listening to me talk tho and tbh that’s p nice to hear. (*゜ー゜*)

but dear sweet jesus, having friends is hard enough already but like, this kind of constant interacting is just really confusing sometimes when something’s unaligned but I guess 5 straight months of alignment starting as total strangers is actually a pretty good sign for us? (。_。)

I’m just, I dunno, I’m so fucking embarrassed about this and I made a huge ass of myself and sometimes I forget I have a problem with just having to see a person over and over constantly and I guess I mean. (((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ))) Annie kinda made me forget I have that problem?  It’s been like “See?  You have gotten better with people!  You’re doing it!!!” and maybe that’s just part of growing up, you learn shit and you fuck up and it doesn’t matter so much as when it’s around the people you want in your life forever but it’s still terrifying and you don’t get the kind of practice you need beyond the surface.  Maybe I got a little too far ahead of myself deciding to take care of a stray WHOLE ASS HUMAN BEING but he was miserable alone and I guess I was getting selfish because here in front of me is another Hue????  And he looks like he’s around my age!?!?!??!?!??  Yeah no fucking way I was gonna “hi-bye” that. (ò_óˇ)

But I guess Annie still gave me back the hoodie, he still came back to the room, he still got in bed with me and we went to sleep and spent 8 hours unconscious next to each other and still woke up, still got some food, still packed up everything, and we’re just like we always are. (。・ω・。) Also we’ve established if there’s ever only one bed, it’s the most practical goddamn choice to make, especially when it turns out to be more cost efficient.  Glad he’s gotten p conscious of that too, I’m getting super spoiled with that actually.  I don’t have to keep a look out for everything anymore. ≡[。。]≡

Also I guess he thinks I’m doing so much and he’s not doing anything in return but he’s made living this way so much better.  I already liked it, but having him has taken a lot of pressure off while I’m still figuring it out.  He’s a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for and he really does take care of me sometimes.  I mean, he’s seriously undervaluing how nice it is to be able to sleep on the bus without worrying about anything.  Just being next to me means he can shake me awake if something’s looking even the slightest bit shady.  Maybe it’s just because he’s still learning a lot that he severely undersells how much he knows and I dunno, I don’t know how to just tell him that without it feeling all weird and forced. (≧﹏ ≦)

Or maybe I’m overthinking that??? ╮(╯-╰)╭ I guess best I can do that though is just the hugging and support and that great step we took last month when he learned how to take a damn compliment is making it easier. (❁´◡`❁)

[goldenize]

Best Friend Material

What makes Annie Best Friend Material™ is that when I suggested hitchhiking, he said he’d be down if I gave him a knife.  Smart thinking, he sits behind the driver and watches for funny business. b(￣▽￣)d

I think what makes me best friend material is I not only gave him a knife, it was a quality knife. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Then we went geocaching instead.  He gets to keep the knife tho. (●'◡'●)

[goldenize]

Encouragement!

I think Annie hasn’t had much confidence in the things he likes to do?  Like I think there’s been a lot of negative reinforcement about the stuff he likes? (´。＿。｀)

But dude comes to me and says he wants to try cooking next time we stay somewhere with a kitchen.  He’s really taken the talk about being more mindful of our health to heart! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

That’s what we call growth. (❁´◡`❁)