Gon and Killua's farewell, it's all good between them + The Misunderstanding about Gon and his rage!
It's something I'm dying to say about Hxh. it is a bit important to me. so I'll write my thoughts here. it will be a bit long. I would be happy if you read it to the end.
We know that both Killua and Gon owe each other a lot. that Killua has become a new person thanks to Gon. A person with an incredible character development, from a cold killer to a better person. gave him a purpose in life. Finally, after years of abuse and torture and cruel upbringing, found a friend who took him away and protected him from his horrible family, made it clear that Killua would no longer be a killer. Broke Illumi's arm for sending Killua home, which is where he feels most uncomfortable. Gave him a childhood having fun with Gon and showing him the world. Also that Gon is the reason Killua removed the needle. And, and, and…
As well as Killua was always on his side. Always supported Gon, trained with him, helped him out of many dangers and obstacles. And both have never asked anything of each other.
What I want to talk about is, that I still see a lot of people who don't understand gon's rage and why he acted that way, and a lot of ppl just ignore his trauma and then blame everything on gon. and also i can‘t believe those people who say that killua left him in the end of hxh for what he said during the Pitou rage because he was mad at gon, even though Killua knows gon better than anyone and understands what was going through gon's head and what a trauma he went through. It's true that killua was upset and sad about it at first, but that's not the reason he left him! because if so, their bond wasn't strong enough, which isn't true at all. Their bond is still as strong as ever. There is no way Killua is mad at Gon. Gon did soo much for him. And all the things he owes Gon that I mentioned above eliminate what happened during the Pitou rage scene. Killua owes him so much!
And literally everyone who's ever been really angry in films or real life has said something to someone they didn't mean afterwards, especially when gons felt bad afterwards and apologized to killua. this is totally humane, and then people come and ignore gon's trauma and just stick to this scene forever..
Gon had this bad feeling about Pitou in his head the whole time. It hasn't let go of him since he saw Pitou. A monster that killed Kite and did bad things to his corpse. Where Gon thought that such a monster would never do good things, suddenly became a caring protector that Komugi had to heal. A monster that did such bad things with kite, suddenly showed compassion and feelings just because she was in a braking situation? Pitou wanted to be understood and make it clear to Gon that she will be the one to be listened to, and used it to her advantage! And that absolutely broke Gon as he couldn't take that and he saw Komugi as kite. that was the very last thing Gon wanted to see.
Gon thought to himself, "First you torment Kite, play with his corpse and use him as a guinea pig. Then you also want me to wait, listen to you and try to calm me down??? You still want me to follow your orders? Ignore my process and try to wrap me around your finger while YOU heal a girl that's yours? What kind of horrible person are you?” That just added fuel to the fire. This only made Gon angrier, because Pitou feels powerless right now and needs someone to heal after all the terrible things she did to Kite. She still wants Gon to wait and calm down. and all of a sudden, where she can't fight in this situation because of komugi, she has to show compassion and play the poor little cat. But in reality, she just wants to use this to her advantage, and when it's all over, she'll lie to him too, say Kite was dead the whole time, and then chop off his head. while gon was kind enough to obey pitou's orders. isn't that unfair? This is a very valid reason for him to be angry.
And in that moment, as he escalates, it's almost impossible to stop Gon with anything to tell him not to freak out like that. So trying to calm him down is like the other person is trying to put the blame on him. As if Gon is not heard. Therefore, trying to calm him down will only make things worse. He doesn't need anyone to tell him what to do now!
Gon wanted everyone to know that his anger is understandable! he wanted to be understood. He wanted Pitou to know that She is now bad and wrong. And since soo much emotional anger is flowing through Gon's body and it's rampant, especially in such a state where Pitou has killed someone important to Gon, the worst thing is when Pitou tries to tell him to calm down and wait target.
It always depends on the situation, but in this case it's something completely different. It made Gon extremely angry! (Trying to tell someone to calm down when they're upset is never a good idea. It only makes things worse) at the same time with the injustice that you heal Komugi and meanwhile the broken body of Kite is lying around somewhere outside, it only makes things a lot worse.
Since Gon is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and then a calm and composed person, as Killua and Pitou wanted to try with words for Gon to calm down, one certainly wouldn't expect Gon to calm down immediately and listen to this person. Especially not in such a critical situation. Nobody would. It just throws more salt in his wounds. Namely, it makes Gon feel that you understand his cause of anger, invalid, or unworthy. like he's overreacting. That he's wrong to feel something.
Can't let out the anger he's been feeding on for so long. That his emotions are not taken seriously. It seemed patronizing to him. So he thought his feelings weren't understood. It is sensitive to its feelings. He feels angry for a reason. And that just added more fuel to Gon's emotional state because he hears that from both sides. He didn't want to be told how he should feel. He wanted to be understood.
If someone is tormenting someone close to you, you will naturally get angry at that person. and someone tries to calm you down, do you calm down? Definitely not! Especially not with a 12 year old kid like Gon! This only makes things worse!! A quote that says: "Don't make me angry and then try to calm me down. It's like shooting someone and telling them not to bleed."
Because someone who tries to calm gon in such a situation, where he is already angry only allows the anger to escalate much more. so Gon wanted to take control of his own emotions and act on his own. Since Gon also knows how calm, kind and careful Pitou was and had control over the situation, she was selfish and ignored Gon's process. And that made Gon feel like she wasn't taking him seriously. Gon sees this as a loss of power and a form of manipulation. and that got his blood boiling because he wanted to take back control and ended up breaking down completely.
And in this state of gon, it's almost impossible to calm him down. all anger accumulates in him because he is not taken seriously. why should he still do what pitou tells him after all this? She has no right! this is degrading and humiliating for him after all she has done. and I can 100% understand why it escalated like that.
When Gon has tried to put an end to this anger, this feeling amplifies because it feels to Him as if it is telling him that he is irrational and what he feels or wants is less important what the frustration is and thus increased anger. It is also known that Gon has often experienced severe trauma, such as in childhood or on his journey. was reminded again and again how weak he actually is and how frustrated he was (but he always wanted to prove the opposite) and no longer wanted to be weak and worthless. Finally, in such cases, he can react particularly strongly because it reminds him of these terrible experiences. And I sort of understand how Gon feels about this, especially when his anger feels 100% justified, having experienced it many times myself.
But in the end it always depends on the situation. if it's a person who's stressed out about homework or something, that's normal. But certainly not in such circumstances as Gon!! And no one likes to be ordered what to do when they are angry.
And since most people feel uncomfortable when others are angry, they don't know exactly what you're going to do next. You don't know if you're going to harm them or yourself. They care and want you to stop being angry and you saw that with Killua. Killua did this, certainly not to make Gon angrier, but rather to find a better way to solve this, he was worried about Gon harming himself. Luckily, the situation got out of the way in the end.
And to me the "none of your business" and that he wanted to defeat pitou alone, line came from the fact that Gon never considered Kite's death Killua's fault, only his. So it's not Killua's job to avenge Kite or be punished for his death, the way Gon thinks he and Pitou should be. Gon has no problem letting Killua join him in everything, but he said back in Yorknew that it was okay if he died, but not Killua.
A lot of people point the finger at Gon and it makes me sad honestly. To see this poor kid go through so much trauma, carrying all that guilt while trying to make sure Killua never felt guilty at all, and then by the end wanting to die because he felt like everything was his and Pitou's fault (and not Killua's) was heartbreaking. Then to see these people, mostly Killua stans who think Gon is the worst because of how he behaved in the caa, while ignores and handwave Gon's trauma and blaming him for everything? (Don't get me wrong, I like killua, my top3 hxh char)
And if you pay attention to the show, it's perfectly obvious that Gon would NEVER insult Killua on purpose or intentionally! Gon is still a child who went through a lot of trauma in his life and couldn't process it all. And I think Killua understood that later, he's not stupid! Because even after what Gon said to him, Killua still cared about Gon so much. We saw him do everything in his power to protect Gon!
He wouldn't go so far as to say that he wants to commit Shinjuu with Gon "a lover suicide between 2 lovers to be reunited in the next life"! He has also turned against his entire family to save his friend. That he confronted Palm and told her to please take care of Gon because Killua doesn't think he can. Whereupon Palm said that Killua is the most important for Gon! We saw him running to Gon and Pitou extra, running so fast to help Gon, and running to the hospital after the explosion.
We also saw Gon with Leorio when Gon said he had to apologize to Killua as well as he had a bad feeling of guilt and not feeling well.
I have no doubt that togashi made the scene where Gon apologizes to Killua properly off panel, because we see him tell Leorio that he needs to apologize to Killua but we don't get to see the scene.
Killua basically said "well you already apologized to me". To me, that indicated that Gon had previously apologized and Killua was just playfully teasing him by bringing it up.
But it wouldn't really make sense for Gon to acknowledge he needs to apologize and then just not do it until Killua brings it up. That makes 0 sense. and Killua wouldn't joke about it if he was still upset about it. I hope togashi will show when they are back in the spotlight. But Gon knew he owed Killua an apology and said as much to Leorio so I have no doubt in mind he gave a heartfelt and genuine apology to Killua.
It's just that Alluka needs Killua more right now. Because how stupid would it be of Killua if he would send Alluka right back to the Zoldyck estate and continue his journey with gon again. So after the shoot "Okay Alluka thanks for healing Gon, now please go back home, maybe we'll see each other sometime" No, that would feel wrong. That's not Killua's character.
Alluka would be very offended on Killua for otherwise only using her to his advantage. She would be locked up again. Gon would have even more guilt inside him. And if Gon were in such a situation again, this time Alluka will definitely not help Killua again. And his family won't let Killua get Alluka out of there a second time.
Since he's already traveling with Alluka, he at least wants to make up for lost time with her. Because She would be disappointed if she was only used as a tool and sent back home. especially at Killua, where that's unthinkable. Because then she would think if he doesn't even want me, then nobody wants it.
He must protect her from Illumi as he will pursue them by any means possible and Killua has been targeted by his family. Means that it will definitely not be a fun trip for them! And Killua knows that! he is aware of that. Alluka also said that she will give Killua back to Gon, which made Killua a bit nervous. Both Gon and Killua have a tendency to push their loved ones away if it means keeping them safe, just like Gon would not allow Killua to die with him in the CA Arc and here Killua is keeping Gon safe by staying away until he gets a better handle on the situation.
Unfortunately, Killua couldn't take Gon with him either, as he would drastically increase the risk of something bad happening to Gon again. Gon and killua have other things to do now. since he can no longer use Nen either, he doesn't want to risk Gon's life again. That's too much for him and would be too dangerous. So he had to focus on Alluka for now.
Especially not when Killua knows Illumi is after him. So gon be pretty sure and returned to Whale Island. Since Killua also knows that Gon is now in close contact with Ging, and gives him lots of tips and advice, Killua feels Gon is safe right now.
So he can rest assured. Because everything is straight, in perfect harmony. killua also literally said he'd like to come with him, but he can't because of Alluka.
Gon needs to recover from the events and figure out what he wants to do next and Killua needs to protect Alluka and make up for lost time with her! Once he clears this situation with Illumi and his family, he and Gon will surely reunite. Because they are the heart of HxH.
Also, we're forgetting that Gon is not always just thinking of himself. Yes, he is a thickhead, and made mistakes but he cares about his friends and will go out of his way for them a lot. For example, he broke Illumi's arm for manipulating Killua and interrupted his search for his father to rescue Killua from his family. He let canary beat him so he can get killua out of there.
That he was worried about Killua all along, in greed island, that he was being poisoned. etc.. The problem is that Killua hides his own needs and insecurities, which leaves Gon thinking everything is okay. But you can be sure that if Killua asked for help or made his needs known, Gon would put everything down to help.
And that doesn't mean that Killua wants to brag to Gon and thinks "look here I have also a person on my side now and get out of here" that feels sooo out of character. And it's not Killua's nature to do that, especially with his best friend, someone he owes so much to. This is Killua's sister, whom he has known since he was little, and not a girl that he suddenly found along the way and thought "yeah I can make Gon jealous with that" No! That is absolutely wrong and completely out of character
Also, when Gon met someone with Killua on his journey, Gon never intended that he could now neglect Killua or make him jealous in any way. (And no, neither with Palm. Killua was jealous because he went on a date with her, but Gon didn't know that and it was never Gon's intention, since Killua also hid his feelings about something like that.) Of course, Killua knew from the start that Gon's goal is Ging and that they will meet a lot of new people, he would never have met, for which he is grateful. Gon was finally glad that he met Killua and is on his journey, because Killua was his priority, always! Gon knew that. but he only really realized that when he met Ging. when Ging said that what matters most is not the goal but what he met on his journey. (namely Killua)
Also, Killua didn't care how many people were with him and gon. he just wanted to be with gon, accompany him on his journey, have fun with him because he feels most comfortable with him.
Killua more than anyone knew that Gon was going through one of the most traumatic experiences in his life. If Gon was just cruel out of the blue, that would be one thing, but this was said in the middle of a understandable complete breakdown, especially that Gon apologized and felt bad about it later. And it doesn't suddenly discredit everything else Gon has done for him. Despite all the good he's brought into Killua's life up until that point. This was a moment they could learn from, not something that broke their friendship! He's been through enough already and Killua has forgiven him, and now has a better understanding about gon, more than the whole audience! as well as how real friends forgive each other in real life. All they need right now is to talk about their feelings, and I think breaking up will make it perfect.
And if Killua heard that something bad was happening to Gon, he wouldn't hesitate to help him! Exactly the other way around. Every good and strong relationship has its ups and downs and no relationship is perfect. Their relationship is way too strong to be broken! Also seen in the anime when Killua dragged Gon and Alluka into an alley and Killua looked at Gon with such a loving look for 5 seconds and thanks to Gon Alluka was freed too! Literally, Gon really is a light to Killua.
Two people who are indispensable to each other
Also remember that Killua said something hurtful to Alluka/Nanika. It would be a bit hypocritical of Killua to never forgive Gon, given that he said some pretty harsh stuff to Nanika (yelling at her to go away and never come back after she saved Gon. He apologized and was forgiven. Why shouldn't he offer the same forgiveness to Gon, his sisters gave to him?
They promised to keep in touch on good terms. They're still as close as ever. and I'm sure their relationship will be even stronger when they reunite.
There is also something the director of the 2011 anime said "That Gon and Killua are like a married couple. Gon is the Free Spirited Husband, and Killua is a wife who silently supports him. The Golden Duo"
It seems to me that Togashi brought Gon to the brink of death to introduce Alluka. He could have chosen any other way that Killua finds someone to heal Gon! It didn't even have to be killua who saved Gon, it could have been anyone else. but no togashi did it. He never wrote himself in a corner that absolutely required Alluka now in this arc. Imo, He wanted to introduce Alluka!
She should foresee the dark continent and the kind of insane threat that transcends Nen.
She also adds some lore to Zigg Zoldyck, since we now know that he explored the DC and likely brought Nanika back.
Togashi would need something to heal Gon and a reason for Gon and Killua not to travel for an indefinite period of time.
Give killua a reason to admit his family confront, show its growth
Because you also notice that Togashi has so many other ideas in mind that have nothing to do with gon and killua, such as the succession war arc, Kurapika, the princes, Phantom Troupe backstory etc.. All of this would not work so well if gon and killua were still together. He also deliberately omits the MC. because you can also tell that Togashi wants to show that he's not afraid of showing a full arc of not showing the MC.
And their friendship is a perfect parallel to Meruem/Komugi. Killua would commit with gon Shinjuu, two lovers who will be together in the next life (like Komugi did with Meruem) Because in Chp. 286 after this Shinjuu panel by Killua, a shooting star followed, which is supposed to seal this wish.
The same thing happened at Whale Island Chapter, when Gon and Killua promised to stay together forever, and then a shooting star sealed their wish. And this promise connects these two panels. Killua wanted to grant that wish at all costs, even as Gon lay on his deathbed. Since Togashi intentionally made these two scenes so similar with the idea of staying together forever, it's obvious that these two scenes are connected.
It's just something i really wanted to say. because I overthink it all the time. Even Hxh's Ending 4 is obviously a song from Killua's perspective, about his deep feelings about Gon. If you look at the lyrics you can also see how much Killua misses Gon. And I'm pretty sure he misses him a lot, just like gon miss him!
I'm sorry it was too long
