Broke the lease this morning. We backslid so far over the winter, and between that and his owner consistently doing things that negated our progress (she did them with the best intentions! We just had different goals), I just didn't see a future where we progressed any more than we already had last year. I was feeling guilty all the time because I wasn't working with him enough to justify all the money I was paying, and because I was under so much pressure to keep him fit and ride consistently when I just couldn't do that and it was never my goal in the first place. In the end it felt like a bad relationship. One or two good sessions convincing me to keep going, and then a month of sessions that left me in tears pulling my hair out. It just hasn't been working for the last six months and I'm not in a financial place where I can keep sinking money into this hoping it gets better.
I connected with someone over Facebook who's involved with the local horse rescue. She's looking for someone to help do r+ sessions with the horse she's working with. It's farther away, and the facility is much less nice, but it's closer to what I want to be doing with horses long term and the concept of working with someone who knows what they're doing is enticing. I'm supposed to meet with her Sunday. We'll see how it goes.