#goodmessagepussy

[axelaqua]

goodmessagepussy replied to your post: rmbr when that girl found andrew garfi...

Really

yeah it was summer 2011 she posted about it on tumblr and posted a picture of it and i went on there looking for him but i never found him 

[axelaqua]

goodmessagepussy replied to your post:goodmessagepussy replied to your post:i think the...

I live in a 995 sq ft apartment it’s not even that big tbh

I KNOW NOTHING JON SNOW

[axelaqua]

goodmessagepussy replied to your post:i think the worst thing society and the media at...

50 square foot

why u gotta be like that

[axelaqua]

goodmessagepussy replied to your post: anonymous asked:wolverine? rogue?...

Kitty cat

nooooo

[axelaqua]

goodmessagepussy replied to your post: this shooting and the attention it’s b...

Wait what happened I’ve been off the internet

just people being like "this shooting is just feeding into tumblr's view of feminism" blah blah blah idk it's just frustrating ya know

[axelaqua]

HEY WORLD!!!! IT'S MY BEST FRIEND KATIE GOODMESSAGEPUSSY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY SHE IS TURNING TWENTY-FUN PLEASE SEND HER GOOD VIBES AND/OR HARRY STYLES I DON'T THINK SHE'D MIND EITHER ONE

[axelaqua]

Dawg I thought you were just reblogging some boy for his body and I was like "Well this is uncomfortable" bc I mean it's just a body being sexualized for me no emotions attached but oh my god that must have been so much worse for you bc it's yr BROTHER god oh my god I'm like laughing but also like OH MY GOD

YEAH

[apolloadama]

So I saw Aziz Ansari last night. Reaction: ://// ??????????????

Aziz's act was purportedly about how young people use technology now to avoid commitment to going out with someone (both friends and potential love interests), and there was a bit of that, but it was primarily a lot of tired tropes about how men act in relationships versus how women act in relationships, and aside from one throwaway joke about how someone might be interested in both men and women, it was a ton of heteronormative, allosexual, alloromantic bullshit. I will say that it was just heteronormative, and not outright homophobic, unlike one of the jokes in Joe Mande's act--"my parents bought me a wok for Christmas because I guess they think I'm gay. I enjoy cooking using my wok so I guess I am kind of gay." ??????????? Aziz's routine was just a ton of casual LGBTQPIA-erasure, assuming everyone involved in romance or sex is cis and straight (there was a lot of equating gender with genitalia). 

The jokes, though. God. So, so traditional. Men, apparently, all walk around constantly wanting to have sex with every woman they see, which is sexist on multiple levels as well as erasing asexual and ace-spectrum men; women want "a nice healthy salad" for a relationship while occasionally indulging in casual sex.

For someone who is usually so in-tune with our generation, Aziz really misfired here. Ah, yes, men cheat on women because they can't help it. Oh, right, even though the "romance rules" Aziz talked about all night are stupid, we all "still participate" because "everyone" is looking for a significant other. I guess Aziz is currently writing a book about this, and he talked about how he's in his first real serious relationship now, so this is just super, super where his head is at, but I don't think we need a book like this out in the world. I think there are already millions of books about the ~differences~ between men and women in relationships out there, and no one needs to retread this tired, hackneyed, sexist ground. He's doing people of all genders a disservice here.

On the plus side, the show really, really solidified for me that apparently I am definitely 100% aromantic,  because none of the jokes he told resonated with me. I sat there feeling weird that my romantic identity was completely erased by the routine. I felt uncomfortable, left out. I usually say "as marginalized communities go, aro people probably get off the easiest" but that doesn't mean there aren't situations like this where I feel like I Do Not Belong in a crowd of people (but it's not like I felt unsafe, and that's a key difference in how aro people experience oppression versus how other marginalized gender and sexuality communities experience oppression--at least as far as I know; I could be wrong and there could be some fucked up shit happening to aro people that I don't know about).

So yeah I am glad I went to see Aziz but I didn't laugh much during his show. I laughed until I cried and couldn't breathe at Joe Mande's jalapeño joke, which is obviously much funnier when he's telling it. 

I also got to sit next to my friend Tara because I bought my ticket immediately after she tweeted about buying her ticket so we ended up in seats next to each other and that was great!! because I haven't seen much of her the last few months. :) One of the jokes Aziz made was about how you can't rely on friends to actually meet you somewhere now because it's so easy to cancel plans, and that made me think two things: 1. John Mulaney's joke about canceling plans being instant heroin seems much more relatable to our generation, because sometimes you just want to stay in and watch Netflix and That's Okay,

but 2. Aziz's friends must all be terrible people, because if I make plans with my friends to meet somewhere at X time to do X thing, they will be there, I will be there, and we will do the thing. I have great, wonderful, awesome friends. I surround myself with good friends. You mighta seen that pissed off post I made about a "friend" standing me up Sunday morning when he said he was going to drop something off at my apartment in the morning? And then he changed his plans and didn't tell me and just took a nap instead? That guy is on my shit list. I will never, ever make plans with him again. No sympathy. No second chances. My time and peace of mind are worth more than that.

I guess, ultimately, that's something that was missing from Aziz's show: selfishness. People call me selfish a lot, because I am very honest about needing my own alone time, not wanting to have to think about someone else's needs above mine or my immediate family's, and speaking openly about my exact needs in a situation--basically, that, hey! I'm aromantic! I'm not remotely interested in a romantic relationship! And I don't keep friends who aren't good to me and respect my needs!

And maybe that is selfishness. But it's also self-protection. It's something I learned very early on: I can't depend solely on others to make me happy or give me a fulfilling life. I have to know my emotional state and respond to that. I have to give myself what I need emotionally and physically, or I'm going to be unhappy and unhealthy. I have to pick and choose friends carefully and only rely on people I've come to trust completely over time. I have to be the keeper of my own happiness. And yeah, sometimes I have to cancel plans (only if they're very casual plans--I would never cancel very specific plans that would screw over the other person) because I want to stay in and just chill out. My friends get that, but more than that? My friends are the same way. They too cancel plans on me sometimes because they need to recuperate from a long work week. We are all deeply compatible. Surround yourself with good people--and love and respect yourself. There's not much better out there than that.