[Hyunjin, Jeongin, Hongjoong, Jackson, Yugyeom, and Minhyuk under the cut
Part 1: Seungcheol, Joshua, Jungkook, Solar, Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun]
Changbin
Changbin's probably in a similar category as Scoops—just a toxically sweet, overeager puppy who wants all your love and has zero concept of boundaries
goes everywhere with you, and drags you everywhere he can—your friends joke that you should have him on a leash and he's ordering one on amazon that night
every post on his social media that isn't a picture of/with you still finds a way to mention you somehow
whines if you go for more than a week without posting about him—weekend selfie spams to make up for it are a regular activity
doesn't see any problem with just casually going through your phone—he doesn't care if you go through his—but gets jealous every time
there's a whole song-and-dance you do—Changbin kicks up a fuss about how one of your friends was definitely flirting with you, and you're just too sweet to notice; you insist that's not what was happening; eventually turns into you declaring that it doesn't matter what anyone else is trying to do, you only have eyes for him—cancel any plans you had for the rest of the day, because you're about to be smothered by a 167 cm tank made of giggles and muscle
if you ever turn it around on him and decide to play the jealous partner, it'll be like you've made Christmas come early for him—he'll eat up your possessiveness like takoyaki, eager to demonstrate that he's all yours—mark him up, tell him he's yours, and he's in heaven
it's all very routinely dysfunctional, all very comfortably unstable
not usually aggressive when he gets jealous; if he thinks someone is taking up too much of your attention, just shows off or acts bratty until he has your attention back
if he thinks someone is flirting with you, will not hesitate to simply walk over and pick you up and carry you away
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 7/10
i know i said y'all were comfortably dysfunctional, and maybe that sounded like it was implying a much healthier lack of crime than most yandere relationships run on
it does not
surprisingly, it's not a crime of passion
it takes a lot to get him there, but if Changbin decides someone is getting between the two of you and his usual tactics aren't cutting it, then other plans just have to be made
surprisingly efficient when it comes down it—calm, cool, methodical
it won't be clean enough to be written off as accidental, but you'll probably never even know he had anything to do with it!
Hyunjin
fell for you because you looked at him and said exactly one(1) insightful thing about him
Hyunjin wants desperately to be seen for who he is, and fixates specifically on your ability to do that, but also knows he can use his looks to fool and manipulate you
it's very bittersweet for him, he is (to a certain degree) a painfully self aware yandere
plays hot-and-cold with you, at times deliberately drawing you in, other times, then acting aloof at others
wants you to need him as badly as he needs you
his desire for you to understand him is impossible for him to resist, though, which leads to strange little moments of liminal intimacy
you'll find yourself alone with him, sitting on the back porch at a house party or walking home together from a night of bar-hopping with your friends, as he asks you about problems at work or tells you about how he listened to this album he thinks you'd really like
you don't talk much, so you're startled when he remembers things you'd mentioned in passing ages ago, things like how the spot your desk is in is never warm enough or that song you'd been listening to on repeat last month
there's something uncomfortably flattering about it, something that makes you feel like a deer in the headlights, but also makes you want to linger in the attention, to luxuriate in his intense focus
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 8/10
you're simply too important to him to allow anyone to get between the two of you
absolutely a calculated move on his part
he plans things out pretty well in advance, but probably gets a little sloppy in the middle of the act
what started out as the clean-cut algebra of not being able to lose you turns into a passionate, desperate rage
would decide not to tell you, because he knows that preserving an image that you can love is necessary to keeping you
but having you know and accept every part of him is such an intoxicating fantasy for him, he can't help but confess what he's done to you eventually
Jeongin
another one who's been watching from the sidelines for a while and has something to prove
unlike Jungkook, though, Jeongin is not content to wait around for you to notice that he's grown up
once he figures out what he wants from you, he doesn't hesitate to start staking out his territory
he'll insist on paying for your share of the bill after dinner, walking you home, tossing his jacket over your shoulders when you shiver—but tries do it all with an attitude of careless pragmatism to cover how fiercely possessive he feels
does it work? probably not—everyone knows Jeongin has favorites
tries very hard to be cool and witty and practical around you
but he can't help but melt a little if you insist on babying him
pragmatic, controlling, maybe a bit of a bully sometimes!
convinced that he knows what's best for you
doesn't have a lot of sweet words for you, but shows how much you mean to him through little things—picking up your favorite drink even when he forgets the exact thing Changbin sent him to the convenience store for, making sure he always has your favorite hoodie on hand to wrap you up in, snapping the wrist of that creep at the bar who was getting a little too handsy
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 9/10
listen. i hate to break it to you, but.
he definitely already has
once Jeongin decided you were his, no one who might come between you had a chance
it's a little sloppy—he did his best to research, but there's no amount of research that prepares you for the struggle and the mess, for the first hot spill of blood
recovers admirably though, does a competent enough job at clean-up
Hongjoong
it wasn't love at first sight for Hongjoong, but it was a sudden spark, an arrow that hit him out of nowhere and pinned him down like a butterfly
it could be anything really—a unique little turn of phrase that sticks in his mind or an offhand complaint about a book you didn't finish, a surprisingly insightful observation about one of his favorite songs or a teasing comment about his outfit
whatever it is, though, he can't get it out of his head—it sends his curiosity flaring, makes him circle back around to you over and over again until his fingers itch, until he feels like he's going insane
he wants to peel all your layers away, he wants to know you down to your bones
he's careful in this courtship, though, prying information from you bit by bit, dropping crumbs of himself like a trail and waiting eagerly to see if you'll follow
doesn't actually get too jealous of other people flirting with you—it can't be helped, of course people are attracted you—you're like a flame, burning bright in this dim, dull world, and the moths can't help it if they're drawn in
he's not actually worried about anyone coming between you—who could?
you are his soulmate, you are his muse, no one will understand you like he does
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 10/10
he doesn't have to, he's quite good at using manipulation to solve any problems that come up
but sometimes, your Joongie simply won't be satisfied with anything short of blood
it's probably not anyone who he perceives as a threat to your relationship that gets the bloodlust thrumming through him, but anyone he perceives as a threat to you
anyone who puts their hands on you, who makes you uncomfortable, anyone who looks at you like an object
Jackson
clingy and possessive
this boy wants to be in constant contact, wants to know where you are and what you're doing always
you know how Jackson once showed up to a fan meeting because Namjoon wasn't answering his texts?
yeah, expect him knocking on your door because you took an accidental nap mid-conversation or showing up at your dinner with friends because you were too carried away with the actual conversation to complete your last ten-minute-check-in
don't worry, though, he's charming enough not to embarrass you (too much) in front of your friends
loves to show you off—buys you ridiculous designer clothing, takes you to the most absurd events, and then takes half a million selfies with you to prove it
buys you Louboutins and puts a tracking chip in them
hates all your friends, but is really good at playing the game of winning them over
talks shit about them to you once you're home, though—tries to keep it casual, just a comment here or there, but he's not that subtle
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 6/10
this isn't a boy who wants to get his hands dirty
it's not about right or wrong, it's about ~ruining the fantasy~
not above hitting someone with his car in a fit of jealous anger, though
more likely to arrange for someone to be caught in a scandal, though, caught with drugs planted on them or in a 'compromising position'
Yugyeom
i'm very tempted to tell you to just sit down and listen to Point of View: U
obsessive and incapable of hiding it—stalking your social media and asking mutual friends about you turns into Yugyeom just happening to end up in all your usual spots, bringing you odd little gifts and offering to walk you home
he's not subtle, and your friends definitely notice
if he actually manages to wrangle you into a relationship—how? are you actively into crazy??? (it's fine, i understand, i am here with you 😌)
possessive, needy, but also pathetic in a way
every disagreement you have with him either starts or ends with him crying (and let's be honest, it's probably both)
upside! he's willing to subsume his entire identity into you and your interests and desires (as long as those desires don't involve leaving him), so disagreements only happen when he's jealous or anxious about you leaving him
downside! Yugyeom's anxious about losing you 24/7
suspicious of everyone in your life—cannot fathom a worldview that doesn't involve everyone who so much as breathes near you having the intention of stealing you away from him
if you think there's any scenario where this ends up with you not locked up in his basement, i am very sorry
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 12/10
it's not a matter of if, but when
the degree to which he feels threatened by the people in your life means him snapping it inevitable
and there's nothing Yugyeom won't do to keep you
Minhyuk - King of Yanderes
not a planner, but surprisingly crafty
Minhyuk uses his charisma like a blunt weapon, he's flirting wildly once he realizes he wants you, and he probably wants you the moment he sets eyes on you—buckle the fuck up
stalks your social media with zero shame or subtlety
sends you so many thirst trappy selfies. so. many.
texts you constantly—doesn't get needy for responses the way yanderes like Scoops or Jackson do, but also definitely not afraid to double text you
dream trophy boyfriend, just wants to hang off you and look hot and be shown off to your friends like a designer bag or an extremely fluffy dog
you don't even really realize how yandere he is unless/until you break things off with him
what was an endearing clinginess turns into an obsessive fixation when you break things off
he keeps up with what's going on with you in every way he can, checking your social media regularly and interrogating your shared friends about how you're doing, what's happening in your life, who you're seeing
works on making himself irresistible to you while you're gone—he's in the gym 24/7 (and posting the thirst traps to prove it); if you're dating guys with long hair, starts growing his out; if you're seeing blondes, he'll bleach it
slides back into your life as soon as he sees the chanceto do so
how likely he is to murder someone for you: 3/10
he's a lover, not a fighter
would simply make you forget the rest of the world exists by smothering you with his affection, rather than bathe it in blood for you
don't underestimate him, though!
under the right circumstances, will absolutely get his hands dirty for you
if murder's the only way to get rid of an obstacle to your relationship—consider Minhyuk a criminal for love<3
some big boys who definitely want you to make them feel small 😌
TXT
Soobin: i will spend the next eighty-four years talking about how Soobin wants to be your baby boy, your littlest bunny, he just wants to be small and soft and good for you and also completely at the mercy of your whims
shhh shhhhh shhhhhhh, but Heuning Kai tho, but shhhhhh (but you’re gonna hafta do it, because i can’t)
Stray Kids
Chan: go back and watch how his ears turn red and he scrunches up into a little pleased puppy when Minhyuk pets and praises him
Felix: he's so soft and obedient when he's getting his hair washed and played with, he just wants to be someone's pet or plaything, put him in kitty ears and give him a forever home
Jisung: this boy just wants you to step on him with little toe bean stockings, just wants the only way you look at him to be from above him
BTS
Yoongi: this man is nearly a whole foot taller than me but makes himself look like he could fit in my fucking pocket, what the fuck
Seventeen
Seungcheol: he's a big strong boy, but he was supposed to be the baby girl of his family and it shows! he is a clingy, pouty baby who will flutter his eyelashes for literally anything, please spoil him appropriately!!
Mingyu: i'm not even that horny for this boy, it’s just so obvious that he wants to be babied
Yugyeom: Point of View: U is the story of a yandere sub, in this essay I will—
been mainlining dnd podcasts to get myself through work and i have put together my ideal table of kpop idols, based on my taste for people who enthusiastically make creatively terrible and absolutely buckwild character choices:
YONGSUN
JIN
MINHO
Big Matthew
Jae
Wheein
Jungkook
Jackson
Yugyeom
Felix (this is less because i think he'd have an especially surprising playstyle and more because i just honestly feel like he'd be into it and also it would be cute to teach him which die is which 🥰)
Joji (not an idol, but it's my table dammit and i think he'd be fun as hell)
(yes this is an eleven person party and i'm not fucking afraid because it's not like these bitches are going to make it to every session.
the only people i can see making literally every night we schedule would be Yongsun, mAYBE Jae)
