Summary: You recently broke up with your boyfriend, Jaebum, and now you start to wonder if it was all a mistake
Part 1 //Part 2// Part 3// Part 4
I wish I knew. I wish I knew what you were thinking behind those dark eyes. I wish I knew if you were in as much pain as me, wishing things weren’t the way they are. Wishing we were still together, only happier. I wish I knew if our relationship meant as much to you as it did to me, or if you longed for one last moment, a moment of happiness where we could just be together forever. No worries. No pain. None of the problems we had. I wish I knew if you missed me as much as I missed you, Jaebum.
I stare at you from across the coffee shop, heart aching more than I can possibly handle right now. This isn’t our place. It was supposed to be safe from memories of you, but here you are, probably with the same idea as me—avoiding one another. Here you are with that stupid coy smile on your lips as you order your favorite, and here I am. Suffering at just the sight of you. I’m frozen with fear and regret. It’s too soon. I can’t handle seeing you right now.
Do I run, risk you seeing me and knowing I can’t handle this decision I made? Do I stay still, hoping you don’t see me and risking a possible conversation that would be full of fake words? I just want to disappear. I want to go back to the night I broke the two of us and take it all back. I miss you Jaebum. I miss the way you used to hold me at night. I miss the way you comforted me when I was stressed or upset. I miss your touch. Your breath. Your everything.
But there was a reason it led to this. I love you Jaebum. A part of me will always love you, but we were broken before that night I finalized it. Somewhere along the line something cracked, and we could never seem to fix it. It only got worse and worse until I couldn’t take it anymore. It shattered something deep inside, but right now I feel even more shattered than before. Was this all a mistake? Did I give up too soon? I love you Jaebum, but the thought of you also hurts me. I can’t keep living like this.
I see you paying at the counter, and you look… normal. You don’t look shattered. You don’t look broken. You don’t look like you just lost the person you loved for over a year. You look fine. Tears fill my eyes. I can’t do this. I have to get out of here. I look around to find my escape route, but you are too close to the door. My eyes settle on the bathroom, and before I could even think, I was hiding in a bathroom stall.
I’m pathetic. Crying in a bathroom stall, hiding from my ex-boyfriend that I decided to break up with. Why does this hurt so much? This was my decision, yet all I can think about is how this was a mistake, how you look perfectly fine, and how much of a mess I must be for hiding from you in such a pathetic way.
Part 2
Authors Note: I hope you all enjoy this! The idea just came to me today, and I had to write it. I would like to turn this into a series if possible. It’s definitely angsty, so let me know if you want to read more :)
P.S. Sorry it’s a little short. I didn’t have much time to write, but I still wanted to post something today.
baby!! are you going to continue the infinity series? i miss it so much 💔💔💔 ps: do you have any got7 fanfic blogs to recommend? 💞💞
Hi baby!!! Yes, Infinity is still in the works! It may take a few more days to update though, I’m sorry >< And yes, I do follow and admire a few got7 fic writers out there! I might miss out on someone though, so I apologize. I personally read and recommend stuff from:
@imsarabum (Sara) @kpopfanfictrash (Shanna) @parkjinyoungology (Sara Anne) @venjaeance (Nini) @after-you-fall-asleep (Hope) @onlylovekpop (Leigh) @seokvie (Kara) @yves-saintlaurtuan (Sica) @the-porcelain-doll-xo (Fal) @got7imaginations (Erica) @igot-scenarios @ahgasaeimagine (some of these blogs though are inactive already, but their works are still up!)
I also strongly recommend to watch out for my babe @scenariosofaneternaldreamer – she hasn’t posted much yet but make sure to follow her and check out her future works!!!
I know I have been inactive for a really long time without much explanation, and I'm so sorry for that! I wanted to stay active, but basically life got in the way and I needed to step away and focus on myself. I haven't been in much of a writing mood for the past two years, since I was using all of my energy just to figure out my life, and there have been up and downs. I guess it caused some sort of major writers block... Anyway, I've been really focusing on improving my mental and physical state, and slowly I've been feeling more like myself again. I've actually been in the mood to write again too! Now, I can't promise I'm going to start posting regularly, especially because I still have a really busy life, and I want to start working on some pieces that I actually want to publish one day, but I would enjoy starting to write a few scenarios here and there.
I have missed all of you so much! I just want to thank everyone who sent messages to me while I was going. I love you all so much, and I hope you don't hate me because I've been gone for so long... I will do my best to start answering the asks I have received, but I'll probably work through those slowly. Thank you all again for being so wonderful!
Soooo.... Weird thought.... Today is apparently my one year anniversary on this blog [I wouldn't have even realized it if I hadn't received an email XD]. It's crazy to think that it's been a while year! Some of you have been with me from the beginning, and some of you are just joining me now. I want to say thank you to you all for everything! I have met so many amazing people, and I know I'm not very active these days, but I'm still very grateful for everything ^.^
Favorite book series: I haven’t read properly in so long. All I read is fanfic. But my fav fanfic series is Indulge by @hobikink and also @got7imaginations is amazing
Favorite word: I use ‘soz’, ‘sly’ and ‘babe’ a lot in every day situations
Favorite Color: Orange
Dream Job: IDEK... Singer? Author?
What do you want to do when you’re older: Live for one year in South Korea, live in Belgium and then retire to Curcao or St Tropez. I just want to continue to learn new things
Favorite quote: 'Bless you’ is my personal often used phrase but my favourite quote is ‘Don’t let anything get in the way of your education’
I hope that wasn’t too boring. My ask box is open for anymore questions but I’m still on hiatus from writing until my exams are done. Expect a shed load of stories once summer rolls around!
I tag @hobikink, @got7imaginations and @hansoljisoo
That Good Morning Jackson smut was too good T.T Like seriously, my Jackson feels are not okay right now >.<
Thank you very much, I’m glad you enjoyed it! ♡ I was recommended to check out your blog and I did, and you’re a really good writer! c: I’m really into your story ‘A Lone Wolf’ hehe i can’t wait to read the next chapter!
