#gotaholdonme

[michelledeangelismusic]

Omg. Nobody knew that I was leaning against the wall trying to sit during this piano playing. Shhhh. 😂😂😂 and then hearing people cheer?! Woah. Kind of a wild feeling. Thank you to all these amazing. Peeps and more who I don’t know their ig. @swang_music_nyc @everybodyhasoul #musicians #nyc #thankyou to my #❤️ @buzz_stifler57 for everything and everything. #music #gotaholdonme #yourlove #whatsup #nycmusicians #femalepianist (at Ulysses NYC)

[p--y--r--o]

Shruti, for some reason, my computer is only showing the first line or so of your response, so I can't read it. I genuinely would like to see it though. I understand that you are trying to be helpful towards both of us, and I understand that it is hard to be a good friend in this situation, because people think irrationally and you want to be respectful, yet get a point across. I get it.

That original post that started this whole thing was written last night, when I was very upset. I was upset because I played for 3 hours at Sienna with Hayden sitting right in front of me, and I was playing some songs I had written back at the start of our relationship "I Will Wait for You", etc., and also some more recent songs that I had planned to be in my setlist before I knew he would be there. After the set, I had to sit with the Platt family and interact with Hayden as if nothing was wrong. It was very difficult and I felt like running into the bathroom to cry, but life is life and we all know we can't do that.

I will not delve into the details of our breakup, or the reasons behind it, because while Miami was the big huge main shitbag, it is a very complicated situation, and he actually initiated the fade of our relationship.

I appreciate you guys trying to be helpful and everything, but it is really hard and scary when you are dating someone with the same group of friends as you, and then once you breakup, the loyalties are mostly with the other person, because they are the closer/older friend. That was a big fear of mine going into this breakup, and so far, since we broke up, my fears have become a bit of a reality.

I know you guys aren't trying to be hurtful, and I know you're trying to do what's best. And I appreciate it. It is a hard thing.

[p--y--r--o]

gotaholdonme said: What happened that made your experience less than enjoyable? :(

Well like, it was fun! Our game of putting Zorro in various titles was the most hilarious thing I've ever witnessed lawl. But I dunno, I was kind of uneasy the whole time because I had like, way less control over myself and my body than I normally do, and I just felt 9458729 less classy than the lack of class I normally feel. Like, I'll probably do it again at some point, or maybe not, but I don't want to be so caught up in it. I'll gladly participate in a sober mindset though!

[allopias]

also shout out to still being so tired from this weekend and to shruti, celeste, hannah, caroline, chelsea and lauren of course. <3

[annabanana30]

Walk the roads down the boulevards Past the dollar shows for the bleeding hearts You've used me up Down to the last drop but I'm more than what you thought I'd be ~ Hanson ♪ Got A Hold On Me