Drabble Drabble Drabble for @grccngrass :)
“You don’t have to tell me that … I know that already.” Theo murmured with a soft sigh as he passed his fingers through his curls. After so many years defying his father by having his hair bleached with muggle dyes, he had finally grown out his hair to cut off all the bleached ends. He felt like he looked older, less like a scared sarcastic little kid who lashed out with his words because he couldn’t with his fists. His father had been dead for a few years now and he had adjusted to the quiet peace of his life that revolved around going to work and spending time with the last few friends he had.
Theo never intended to lose any more of his friends … he didn’t want to lose anyone else that he cared about … so why was Astoria of all people trying to leave him now? Why was she so dead set on leaving him behind in this world when he couldn’t imagine his life without her sweet smile and bright eyes?
Maybe it was because she was a Malfoy now. Malfoys always had a tendency of putting him through the ringer and expecting him to come out the other end with a smile and a thank you. For example, the entirety of his seventh year when he had been marked and made to live in Malfoy Manor because the Dark Lord wanted to keep an eye on him. He had to deal with Draco’s moaning and groaning about killing their headmaster … all while shouldering the burden of being the best of best friends ever by not being an asshole about the entire situation.
Astoria was expecting him to not be an asshole about the situation. She wanted him to … what? Be happy for her? To celebrate the fact that she was pregnant and that this pregnancy was only going to worsen her health? She wanted him to be happy that she was cutting her own lifespan in half just to have a child?
Theo couldn’t do it. He wanted Astoria to be alive. He wanted Astoria to always be by his side, as she always was. He wanted Astoria to smile at him whenever he said something dumb. He wanted Astoria to tease him over his pout or his whine or the way that he would latch onto Draco like a leech, even when he didn’t want him too. He didn’t want some … child. He wanted Astoria.
Astoria was smiling at him, caressing his hand slowly, as if he needed the comforting even though she was the one dying. But she had always been dying … at least now, the inconclusive timeline that every healer had ever given her was now solid and clear. She would be lucky to make it to thirty and it would be a miracle if she ever saw thirty five and just the thought made tears build up in Theo’s eyes.
“Don’t leave me.” Was all Theo could find himself to say, stuck between begging and occlumenting. Anything so that he could hide his true feelings over the overwhelming sense of betrayal he was feeling.
“I’m not leaving you, darling.” Astoria whispered, lifting her hand to brush away the tear that had been sliding down his cheek. “I’m right here.”
“But you are going to leave me.” And Theo knew that day was coming but now she was shortening their time together. He could blink and she could be gone. “Is it Draco? Did he force you to-”
“He would never force me to do anything I didn’t want to.” Astoria cut him off because he could fall into some crazed angered state and Theo sighed because she was right. Draco would rather cut off his arm than force his wife to do anything. It was the only reason that Theo had even approved of this union, because he thought Draco would have protected Astoria. Would have led her to live a longish and happy life and now, Theo wanted to strangle him.
“He did. Told me we shouldn’t. Told me he was fine without a child. That he would rather have me but … I wanted this.”
“Why?” Theo whined like a pathetic kicked dog, his pout out in full effect. “Why? Why do you want to leave us?”
Why do you want to leave me?
“I love you, Theo.” Astoria whispered softly, her voice like soft bells in his ears, ringing endlessly in his brain. “I love Draco. I love my life and everyone in it but … I have always wanted a family of my own. And … I wanted it with Draco.” She whispered, caressing his cheek softly, leaning forward to press a kiss against his cheek. “And I want you to be the godfather. Draco wants you too.”
Theo let out a harsh scoff, shaking his head. “I’d be a shitty godfather.”
“No. You’d be amazing. And wonderful. And you’d care for my kid like they’re your own because you love me. And you love Draco. And when everything happens, when everything goes down and Draco tries to drown himself in guilt, you’re going to be there. You’re going to be his lifevest and bring him back up to shore because you’re Theo.” Astoria sighed, giving him a small smile. “You’re the best of all of us, you’re kind and wonderful and I want you to be the godfather of my child … and I know you love me too much to say no.”
Theo was crying now, tears fully streaming down his face because he knew he had to accept this. He had to accept a life without Astoria … he was going to be a godfather, the best godfather the world has ever seen, simply because Astoria asked. Because he would give Astoria anything in the world just to see her smile one last time.
“ … You’re an awful witch.” He whispered, nuzzling into her hand.
“You don’t believe that.”
“No … no I don’t.” Astoria Greengrass was the best of all of them … and he would mourn her for the rest of his life.
