#greatestgrief

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: pat knows how much chishiya dislikes these medical conferences, so she comes along for emotional support, even if there's not much she can do other than staying close and try to pretend like she understands a word that's being said at the lectures. she doesn't hold his hand, even though she wants to. in public, in a territory that's more his than hers, she leaves the first move for him to make if that's what he wants. still, when they get a minute alone, she leans in closer to ask him where they keep the booze in this place.

that's when she approaches: a woman pat doesn't recognize, at least not right away. she asks for a shuntaro, a name that sounds vaguely familiar to pat even if she doesn't know why. ❛ who's shuntaro? ❜ and who are you?, she wants to ask. chishiya's social circle is a tiny one, and running into a person she didn't already know is an odd rarity.

Disdain sits heavy on Chishiya's tongue. HE DETESTS THESE EVENTS. The normal business ones he does not mind - not as much at least. But these formal ones with lectures and presentations at first followed by an evening of five star dining and glitz and glamor as a thank you to the staff and especially to the patrons of the hospital as if it isn't all blood money. Well - CHISHIYA DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE BLOOD MONEY PART but he does care about how overly fancy it is. He hates that - but Pat thrives in the environment. So between them they form quite the dangerous team. Pat can handle the social and glamor and Chishiya can handle the medical talk and other careful navigations. LIKE A GAME. Except this time is the first major formal event they're at, and the first time HIS MOTHER AND FATHER ARE PRESENT. They got through the lectures which means they've left Chishiya's strength and entered Pat's as the cocktail hour starts up. He knows its only a matter of time.

His father won't notice anything - likely too busy with his small group of probing the minds of the research team. He's never looked in Chishiya's direction as far back as his memory can reach. His mother will notice though. Not out of motherly concern, but out of observation.

They make it about ten minutes into the event before Chishiya hears the steady click of approaching heels and an older voice speak from behind him. A voice he remembers, though only just.

" Shuntaro. "

" Okaasama. " He answers back as he moves to the side to be side by side with Pat to face his mother. THAT SHOULD BE THE FIRST CLUE. Chishiya always calls people by their name - except now when his voice is stiff and polite. His mother stands stern and sharp in her formal wear, her long hair pulled into an elegant updo decorated with fancy hairpins, the rest of her hair sleeked back without a single stray hair.

IF IT WERE ANOTHER MOMENT, Chishiya might have laughed or teased Pat for the question. This time, he grimaces just slightly beside her. His mother's gaze immediately falls on Pat, studying her from head to toe. It's not unlike Chishiya's, although hers seems more OBSERVATIONAL compared to Chishiya's DISSECTIVE gaze. Less like she's studying what makes YOU tick specifically, and more what is socially acceptable to say or do in response. Yet there's clearly something that is not very happy there, tucked behind a polite smile at her that turns to a frown in Chishiya's direction.

" Did you not properly introduce yourself when meeting? I taught you better than that. " DISAPPROVAL is clear and concise in her voice, saturated like ink in a bottle when her eyes flash into something sharp when Chishiya meets her gaze before it disappears behind a polite façade.

Chishiya's gaze flicks between Pat and then his mother before settling back with Pat as he pushes down the urge to offer the casual shrug he would often do, lest his mother scold him again as he looks towards Pat. " I'm Shuntaro, as you've probably gathered now. Chishiya is technically the family name, while Shuntaro is my given name, or first name for many other countries. " His eyes flick back to his mother. " She's still learning Japanese culture. Our names are backwards to what she is used to. I did introduce myself. " Sort of. It hadn't exactly been his highest priority when bleeding after a death game that never happened in this world, but he's not going to try to explain that now. Or ever.

It wasn't like she cared. She hadn't even visited him while he was in the hospital.

" Ah! " His mother's expression shifts to SLIGHT more acceptance at the information. " A foreigner then? I see, I see. I am Chishiya Miari. " She introduces herself formally, and lets her gaze flick between Chishiya and Pat for a long moment. Gauging something. " I don't believe Shuntaro has ever hung out with someone outside of obligated school projects or work assignments. It is quite a surprise to see him show up with - " Her eyes flick over once more but the polite smile remains on her mouth. " - someone today. " Chishiya plucks a glass of champagne off passing try and offers it to Pat with a warning look to NOT THROW IT when he turns just enough for his mother to not see it. And the second one he offers to his other. He still doesn't drink, with more reasons now than before.

" She's the best company I could have. " Chishiya replies - a remark that is both genuine in sincerity and perhaps a defensive barb. He would want no other to be here with him.

Miari smiles just a bit more, picture perfect that makes it hard to tell if it is real OR JUST PERFOMATIVE. " Are you in the medical field as well then? I can't imagine how Shuntaro would have met anyone otherwise. " His mother remarks, taking a sip from her glass.

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief replied to your post “CHISHIYA SHUNTARO has appeared! What to do? Ask to...”:

caress cheek <3 but only pat lmao

A noise of SURPRISE threatens to crawl out of his throat when he feels the fingers brush across his skin. Gentle, delicate. The surprise lingers for a split second before he gives a tiny exhale and allows for a faint smile. He leans into her touch and lets his eyes fall half-lidded with a faint hum. " I'd say this is unexpected but . . . " Perhaps the TIMING is a little bit, but he doesn't mind.

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief replied to your post “what if my non-aib followers tossed me...”:

pls do mine

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐫'𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 . . . 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬ⵑ

Perhaps to no surprise, diamonds seem to be the best suit specialty. There's something to be said for the fact in how Chishiya and her interact reflects a SIMILAR mindset - although mindset is hardly key when it comes to these games. Although I don't know strictly her specialty in fields ; her strength in chess would undoubtedly be an advantage to Diamonds games where logic is key. Even if you aren't the best at mathematics, an understanding of strategy is key. IN CHESS YOU NEED TO READ THE OPPONENT, much like in poker and other games. Predict their moves, what the likely moves are. With Pilar's years as a chessmaster, she would certainly excel in being able to read many opponents and act accordingly - or make logical, safe guesses depending on the game. Pilar has the advantage of both skill and experience that comes with age.

Where I could see her weakness might be either spades or hearts. Spades depending on just how physically capable she is - it doesn't seem like that would be her strongest area and may put her on even ground with most others. As for Hearts?That could depend on how ruthless she's willing to be. While Hears games often hold the logic of diamonds games that Pilar would likely understand and decipher before most, it comes down to if would be willing to manipulate or let people die if it came to her life or theirs.

𝐋𝐮𝐩𝐚'𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 . . . 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐛𝐬ⵑ

If this is in part bc of our past discussion abt Takeya and Lupa you can't prove it. In all seriousness. While SPADES holds some appeal, i think that would likely only be limited to water-based games or activities revolving around those aspects of life - ALTHOUGH I would say her jobs as waitressing and other similar roles could certainly help with stamina-endurance games. THAT SAID, I think clubs could be best suited for her. Clubs are the game where teamwork is key and she can work WITH people rather than AGAINST or being targeted by them. Physical skills can still play a role, but aren't quite as heavy as long as you make sure to really observe the game. These games also tend to foster bonds rather than destroy them ( at least for those who survive them ) which I think would be good for Lupa.

I think diamonds could be particularly detrimental to her because of how heavily they rely on mathematics and extensive strategy, especially the high leveled diamond games. They quickly become more complicated and people start targeting each other or rely heavily on reading each other - and I think many of them would likely start to get a good read on her very, very fast and use that against her ( Hearts could for similar reasons, although I think Lupa COULD have a slight advantage in that she wouldn't be seen as a target or a threat for a while into the game - she doesn't have a loud personality that would make all eyes turn on her the way other people draw eyes. Blending in or laying low tends to be an advantage here.

𝐏𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 . . . 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬ⵑ

Although Pat's skills with a gun would likely make spades games easier if they were games focused on a threat (like tag or beast hunter), i think the core aspect of her personality and skills i know of would go well with hearts. You don't have to be a master manipulator to excel in these games, though it can help. Her selfishness and low empathy makes it likely that she would have no qualms in manipulating people to get them killed for her own survival. Her temper could also play to an advantage in a hearts situation by crushing the will of someone in the game with her if it is one that heavily pivots on such behavior. Pat also doesn't really DWELL on what she has to do to survive, so I don't think the after effects of playing a hearts game would rest as heavily on her as it would on other people. ( At the same time, they could hold a dangerous trap for her if playing against certain personality types. but fortunately, those are rare. )

I'm sorry Pat, I know you want to try, but diamonds are NOT your specialty. Please leave them to Chishiya, it will be just fine. You know this, he knows this, we all know this.

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: when she pulls him out of the water, he's motionless. not many had survived the game, most running out of oxygen underwater or meeting their end at the 25 feet drop into the sumida river, but this was the first game that had failed to scare lupe. she was more than used to the scenery, after all, having spent her childhood claiming the sea and the cliffs surrounding it as a second home. still, even she has to gasp for breath as the speakers chime with their game clear message. she then diverts her attention to the other. ❛ hey. ❜ it occurs to her to check for a pulse, but fear of finding nothing stops her from doing so. ❛ you alive? ❜ (for chishiya)

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: UNPROMPTED ASK - always delightfully accepting!

HIS LUNGS HURT and his eyes sting - and this is such a lackluster way to go. Not that Chishiya needed or wanted a flashy death. HE DIDN'T REALLY CARE. But this one irks him. He can accept losing when it comes to logic or player skills. Losing because of a physical aspect? Irritating. Dead is dead. The cold water doesn't care if he lives or dies, nor what his thoughts on the matter are. It simply does what it wants. Impersonal. Clinical. There are aspects of it that make Chishiya reconsider that it might be rather fitting graves for him after all. Light ripples in the water above him, tantalizingly close but his limbs refuse to move. ( Karma for his refusal towards any physical activity outside of walking. ) He'll sink back into the dark abyss below. HE NEVER BELONGED TO THE LIGHT.

There's a pull on his hoodie, a few startled bubbles leaving his lips as he feels hands grabbing and pulling him. Like they're trying to save him. RIDICULOUS. Clubs games promoted teamwork, and certain spade games - but this wasn't one of them. A person could clear this on their own without help. So why was someone grabbing him, pulling him, SAVING HIM? He doesn't even know anyone here - neither friend nor foe nor puppet of his manipulations. He is saved nonetheless.

Chishiya can't move for a few seconds as he struggles to breathe, and then weakly rolls onto his side as he spits out water and coughs rack his entire body, frame shaking with the deep sound while his oxygen-starved lungs greedily try to make up for his near-drowning. Tears from the physical effort of both coughing and gasping ARE CONCEALED BY THE REST OF THE WATER CLINGING TO HIM. Once the coughing dies down, he slumps against the ground, boneless and exhausted in his misery.

Someone had said something, hadn't they?

Chishiya barely moves his head, platinum strands plastered to his cheeks as his dark eyes focus on the unfamiliar woman that is staring at him. The idly thought of I'm cold crosses his mind as he tries to find the energy to do anything. He manages to lift a hand and offer a thumbs up, cheek still pressed against the ground. " Yeah. " His throat feels rough and raw from the coughing fit. " As far as I'm aware. " But... His brow furrows slightly. " Not to sound ungrateful but WHY? " Why save him?

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: you deserve to be happy. you know that, right? (pilar & chishiya) (she's a little worried for his sanity ok)

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: THE MELANCHOLY OF UNTOLD HISTORY

Tension draws his muscles taunt - ONLY FOR A SPLIT SECOND - before they're once again relaxed despite the viscous, jelly-like feeling in his stomach. He doesn't like this feeling. It's one thing when it is Niragi that sees him and calls him on it ; with him it is like looking in a distorted mirror. Twisted, but he can still see his reflection in the mirror. It's a mutual recognition of the ugliness. BUT PILAR? She's like that old woman from the poker game - and that is unsettling. Unsettling because she picks at things like peeling paint on antique ; with careful touches and venturing in rather than making it hurt, or trying to FORCEFULLY PRY IT OUT. Unfortunately, Chishiya's self-defense doesn't seem to know the difference. There's still barbed wire under his skin and venom on his fangs and a desire to snarl and shut down in defense. ELIMINATE A THREAT BEFORE IT BECOMES ONE. His survival was top priority. Sort-of. Not really. ( Winning was, entertainment was, but survival was arguable when he regularly engaged with self-destructive paths. )

None of this shows on his face, and he lowers the bottle of water he'd been sipping on and screws the lid back on. ( Pretends that it isn't an excuse to keep his hands busy. )

" Deserving is fundamentally a biased perspective. " Chishiya replies. " Formed either by the self or by what knowledge someone possesses of another to form a particular view. Some people would argue humanity in general deserves happiness. But happiness isn't like water or food that can be rationed, can't be given or taken. One can let external circumstances influence it, but the concept of emotions themselves is messy and ultimately internal. " THAT'S NOT HER POINT. He knows it. He knows she knows he knows it too.

Why is it being brought up now? THAT'S THE PUZZLE CHISHIYA NEEDS TO SOLVE. Had she been watching a particular interaction with him? Was it something he said? No, he's fairly certain it's not that one - the most likelihood was observing one of his interactions - all smirks and cat-eyes while the other fumes, or it was simply a thought she'd been considering for a while and thought he needed to know.

He gives an exhale, turning his head away from her prying eyes. ( THEY AREN'T. If anything, she looks worried and concerned. She'd be better playing therapist for Arisu than this, he muses.) " Yes, yes. I am aware. " Ah, but awareness doesn't correlate to belief. Chishiya doesn't have any particular thoughts on it. It's not about deserving it. Does he want it? " So what prompted this lovely discussion so early on? " WHAT DOES HE KILL TO SAVE HIMSELF? ( Funny how wanting to be seen is both salvation and damnation. )

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: [ TOUCH ] for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars (pat & chishiya)

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: EXCESSIVE SCAR RELATED MEME

" I don't know why what I wear is such a big deal. " Chishiya grumbles as he rolls his eyes when he opens the bedroom door after changing. " I am perfectly content with sitting in sweatpants and my hoodie while you swim. Or lounge in the chairs. Whatever it is you plan on doing by the poolside. " Admittedly, such a look by the poolside might earn ODD LOOKS from others considering how high class his apartment complex is and the elaborate, aesthetic pool area, but that wasn't his problem if it didn't bother him. If he had a say, he wouldn't even go. Unfortunately, it seems Pat has decided he's stayed home enough on his days off recently and at least needed to get outside, and once she's set on ideas, she doesn't let go. The complex's pool at least had been a good compromise. ( CHISHIYA STILL SUSPECTS HE'S GOING TO BE FORCED TO TAKE PICTURES. )

It had also led to the discovery that Chishiya doesn't own a swimsuit and being forced to go grab one. Hence now, he stands waiting for her approval of the blue swim shorts and the white jacket with blue trim that he currently wears unzipped - more so from her insistence to hurry up and not yet getting to zipping it than anything else. " Is this acceptable? " He lifts an eyebrow and begrudging turns to let her see the outfit in full.

" You know, I don't know when I last wore a swimsuit was other than at the Beach. " And that hadn't been by CHOICE either - just one of the Hatter's mad rules. He can't recall when he last went swimming ; it has a hazy fact that is known only by fact than by active recall of faded memory. But he can see her gaze is focused down and he drops his gaze to the scars peaking out the edges of the jacket. THE OFFICIAL MEDICAL REPORTS SAY IT WAS DEBRIS, BUT THEY BOTH KNOW THE TRUTH. Chishiya has three scars. Two from Niragi, one on his lower left side, closer to his back from an injury in a game. All are easily hidden so you'd never know. Like his hands, which he still often keeps in his pockets. LIKE HIS ACT THAT HE'S ADAPTING BACK FINE EXCEPT HE ISN'T. Perfect on the surface, but flawed underneath.

" Are they that bad? " He doesn't know why he asks that; something about her stare makes him restless again. It's the first time she's caught glimpse of the one on his side ; but it's clean and barely visible. The other two stand out. Not that anyone sees them. Chishiya barely shows more than his hands and face, even the summer heat doesn't break him to show more. BUT SHE KNOWS THEM. Last time it had been her hands pressed to them, trying to desperately defy facts and stop his blood that coated her nails and hands. " I'll zip up my jacket, don't worry. "

Chishiya doesn't like looking in the mirror and seeing himself - but sometimes he looks at the scars. They're not as bad as a lost limb or lost vision and burned skin and muscles, but the shapes are unmistakable and he'll carry them forever. His muscles quiver under her touch, scarred skin taunt and stiff yet smooth under fingertips. Chishiya's throat bobs as he bites down the noise that threatens to rise. IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE, HE WOULD HAVE SMACKED THEM AWAY. Wouldn't have let them get close enough to touch. But she's allowed the same way she's given far more than he gives any other. Her touch soothes over the scars, and even when her touch shifts to the one at his side, unfamiliar, there's a look. HE'S NOT SURE IF SHE'S HERE, OR LOST IN ASPHALT STREETS AND GUNPOWDER.

" Got that one from a game before we met. Sewed it up myself in the bathroom at the Beach - a pain to do on your own at that angle. " All his scars come from the Borderlands. Nothing like most of hers, not so personal. HIS JUST EXIST. " . . . Pat? " He calls softly, because it helps distract from just how RAW he feels, peeled back and exposed under gentle touch, and because he's still not sure if she's here or in memories. He tilts his head slightly, then softly exhales as he sinks his forehead against against her shoulder. " It's weird. Sometimes I still feel them. MISFIRING NERVES ; that's the only reason for those feelings. I know that as a doctor but it's still odd. "

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: relax for pat and chi

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: RUNNING FINGERS THROUGH HAIR MEME

It's supposed to be fun. That's how everyone talks about it. From discussions at school to scenes in the movies and television shows. Drinking is supposed to be the pinnacle of rebellion and fun times, offering freedom from responsibilities or too man thoughts and offer an easy way to carefree fun for even the most uptight characters. Chishiya's never been very interested in the concept. Something about the idea of being drunk is unsettling, makes something in his chest draw tight like strings in a web around him at the thought. But . . . he trusts Pat, and he is a bit curious. IT'S NOT A SPECIAL NIGHT. There's nothing unique that makes him decide tonight ; no celebration or big event. He's just curious and the opportunity is there, so he decides to give it a try.

HE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE THE TASTE. He grimaces and Pat laughs next to him, but he still swallows and takes another sip. It's warm. That part is rather nice, the slow warmth in his ears and trickling through his veins. He can understand that appeal. He nods as Pat talks and still listens more than he speaks, but he does talk more. But . . . he can't particularly remember what she said. Or doesn't remember what he said. And at some point the warmth turns to ice. His throat swallows and there's a tremble in his hands, his heart pounding. Between the haziness of his thoughts and the pounding of his blood, he can't think. It feels hard to really be here, like the world is peeling back and he's left just observing it.

Pat's voice - he can hear that. He watches more than he feels her pull the drink from his trembling hand. His lips twitch but he's shivering and he's both cold and hot at the same time. What does leave his lips is a pathetic sort of whine, like a baby animal calling out for someone. He tries to move, tries to say I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE, but he barely manages to move. But Pat's there and somehow his limbs coordinate enough to crawl into her lap. Safe. She's safe. And despite the clear panic, the rapid breathing and trembling and everything else, CHISHIYA STILL DOESN'T CRY. Like his body doesn't know how to. ( He doesn't. ) He just slumps into her, hiding his face in her shoulder. Somewhere, his mind sluggishly murmurs that he might be having a panic attack.

" Don't- Don't go. " He slurs and stutters over the words, his eyes squeezed shut while his hands weakly grasp to anchor himself. This is pathetic. Curled up on the floor having a panic attack, clinging like he's some helpless animal. HE'S GLAD HIS PARENTS NEVER CARE ABOUT HIM NOW. That there's no one besides Pat to be a witness. His parents won't know about this. Would they care? No. He doubt they would unless it was a medical emergency.

And then he feels fingers in his hair and a soft voice. Hesitant at first, but he might have sighed or made some noise because soon the fingers in his hair are a constant, soothing gesture. The trembling and shaking slows and at some point Chishiya's dimly aware he's pressing into the touch, and manages to blink open his eyes. " That's nice. " His voice wobbles but he's not stuttering as much. " Can you just keep doing that? " He croaks. The shame will come later, for now he tries to just focus on Pat and trying to control his breathing again. ( Did that work for panic attacks? He suddenly can't remember and that makes his panic start to spike again before he tries to choke it down again. )

[sharpsuite]

@greatestgrief played: comb for pat and chi

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: RUNNING FINGERS THROUGH HAIR MEME

" It looks like someone enjoyed their night out based on how long you've been gone. " Chishiya remarks when the front door opens and he glances over to look at her despite how late it is ( or early? At what point does it switch from how late to how early? ). She still looks objectively stunning as always. He would expect nothing less with highly she values her appearance despite natural beauty. She also seems to have had a couple drinks, though if she's tipsy or drunk has yet to be determined. Thankfully Chiaki was crashed out by the window and would not be a POTENTIAL VICTIM TO LIPSTICK STAINED KISSES or late night/early morning jewelry dress up. That does however leave the task of caring to him alone.

Even a short glance tells him alcohol has been taken - whether she's entirely drunk or not he can't quite tell. It doesn't matter either way. He stands up and moves to her side, letting her take her heels off as he stands next to her as support to make sure she doesn't fall. " I'm glad you made it back safely. " Her safety is the most important thing. Now whether she agrees to tonight's success might be debatable. He's still not entirely sure - if it was just for fun, perhaps so. If she had a goal in mind, MAYBE NOT. He decides not to think about it as he guides her over to the couch and lets them drop onto the familiar seats, where his lap seems to be the far more APPEALING spot to rest on than the pillows or arm of the couch. He doesn't mind, not when it's her.

WORRY GNAWS AT HIM UNDER TYPICAL CALM. It wiggles into the crevices of his thoughts and sprouts like weeds through the sidewalk in his emotions. Can he do enough? EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION WASN'T HIS STRENGTH. Neither for extreme happiness nor for sadness. And there is only ever so much he can do ; sometimes he catches himself wondering if she misses her old life before the Borderlands, or bothered by how he struggles to match energy levels, or things he cannot give despite his best efforts. He pulls one of the other blankets he'd had curled around him to drape over her form to offer warmth and comfort.

His hand settles on her hair and he gently begins to comb through it while she seems to relax. Chishiya hasn't closed the blinds yet ; neon lights in the city below offer a splash of color to the sterile lighting that he'd been reading his book in. It almost is reminiscent of the night pool parties at The Beach with colored lights seeping around the edges of the curtains in the rooms people stayed in. The late night news is still on, little more than a faint drone in the background, but he switches it off with his free hand in favor of letting his attention rest on her. Slim hands make quick, gentle work of a knot that had formed at the tips. HE'S CAREFUL TO NOT TOUCH HER SCARS , not without permission , fingertips skirting around to avoid causing any upset.

" So? How was your time out tonight? " He prompts - even if stories of these things aren't generally to his taste. He's interested because it's important to her. She's not had a boyfriend for a while by the usual standards and he wonders if tonight's goal was to change that or if she was purposefully avoiding such connections. He doesn't ask. Maybe it will come up, maybe it won't. THAT'S HER CHOICE. He will listen to what she shares and leave alone what she does not unless it is an emergency.

Her hair is smooth and soft as it trails between his fingers, thoughts more tangled in his own head than her nearly perfect hair. People seem to like such gestures. Chishiya likes such a gesture. " I was getting ready to come looking for you if you didn't show up soon. " He adds with a faint smile on his lips as he peers down at her.