Ever thought of doing a Realistic Relationship Headcanon set for Gregory from Him Indoors? I haven't seen all of the short film, but I saw a bit of the trailer where he tells his would-be dinner about the girl he's asked over to cook for.
I’m so feral for him I hope u enjoy theseeee hehe
Realistic Relationship Headcanons
Gregory Brewster (Him Indoors) x gn!Reader
AO3 link here
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of smut, violence
- Ok so he’s an indoor cat so ur gonna have to come to him
- But he stalked u the best he could from his home!!!! (cutie 😄😄😄)
- Like fr made a burner facebook to look at ur page like a pensioner discovering the internet for the first time
- Terrible at it tho fr bros most advanced piece of tech is a landline
- Lowkey obsessed with the fact u even touch him like man hasn’t had human contact since the fall of the Berlin wall
- The GLASSES
- Will push them up w one finger and u will go feral
- Awkward asf when u flirt w him
- His love language is not killing u 🫶
- I feel like he smells like dishwasher tablets
- Socially stunted as fuck
- Virginnnnnnn 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
- I feel like he doesn’t even wank
- Or he does after he meets u bc he lowkey freaky hehe 😝
- Would highkey become codependent and toxic asf (it’s okay baby🫦🫦🫦🫦)
- Bro ain’t gonna initiate SHIT
- But he would be like an actual machine in bed once he gets going like literally mechanical levels of precision that only a sociopath and/or a robot could have
- Claims he doesn’t like making a mess but gets hard when he thinks about u covered in blood WHEWWWWW
- Owns like 12 pairs of slippers
- His glasses fog up like a cartoon when he’s turned on
- Ok but imagine him whimpering “please don’t stop” in a whiny pathetic voice AHHHHH I think that’s just added 20 years to my lifespan
- Reddit incel
- Yeah so this man ain’t gonna stop killing people for u but if you’ve made it this far I’m sure ur okay w it
- 100% would try to hide it from u (badly) at first
- You absolutely clocked his atrocious vibes
- Loves a cheeky gossip about his victims
- “The postman bled so much ugh 🙄”
- Does the murder version of a guy talking about his gamer stats
- Always indoors so sees a ridiculous amount of daytime TV (hate-watches it but gets all the questions right on tipping point)
- Makes a banger cup of tea
- Horror nerd and giggles at all the deaths (ok edgelord)
- “No darling we can’t have date night tonight I’m doing a murder xxxx”
- Is a literal psycho but if u yell at him he acts like you’ve clubbed a baby seal
- Has deffo googled “how to be good in bed” and then slammed the laptop shut in shame
- Watches u sleep 🥰
- Def doesn’t know how to act when u cry he’ll js flinch and pat u on the head
- Doesn’t have much to do so just flitters around the house like a roomba
- 100% severely anaemic from lack of sunlight so u lowk gotta make bro take vitamins so he don’t die
- Such a pathetic little meow meow
- Deceptively strong 😛
- Smells ur clothes when you’re not there (in like the least sexy way imaginable)
- King of online shopping
- He’s like a posh uni girl getting constant vinted parcels
- I feel like he sleeps completely flat on his back w his arms by his sides like 🧍🏻
- Sees a missing persons report for one of his victims and he’s like “omggggg who did thattt🙈”
- Constantly loses his glasses and they’re always on his head
- Business casual 24/7 even his pyjamas are ironed
- Doesn’t always tell u when he’s killed a mf but will come up to out of breath w rubber gloves on like “don’t look under the bed 😀”
- TV remote hog
- Duvet hog
- Asks if he’s “doing it right” mid-shag bless him x
- Thinks missionary is advanced
- I know this man can fuck up a spaghetti carbonara
- Thinks he’s very normal actually
- Sweats if u wear anything revealing
- Texts you like “saw bird on windowsill outside. ok. 🐦⬛”
- One of those people who thinks the royal family are lizards
- Would genuinely kill someone if they upset u (and has!)
- Thinks lol stands for lots of love
- Lowkey embarrassing in ur insta comments like “Beautiful! Love this 😍😍😍😍😍😍” “Very nice picture 😄😄😄”
- Brags about you to literally no one because he has no friends
- If he ends up going to prison flash him thru the visitor window xxx
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