#gremborants

[thesorrowoflizards]

in partnership with the "magnus bane deserves appreciation" foundation and the "jace is literally the worst you guys just like crusty cishet white men" coalition

[thesorrowoflizards]

the one true shadowhunters alignment chart

i do not take criticisms. this is the one (1) correct take. in the words of absolute icon eugene lee yang: “i’m right, you’re wrong, shut up.”

[explanations below cut; although many boil down to “vibes”]

(From left to right in rows)

Catarina Loss: somewhere between lawful good and neutral good.

I don’t really have an explanation tbh, it’s just the calm vibes? And she’s definitely on the good spectrum.

Alec Lightwood: neutral good, on the corner towards lawful.

He’s neutral good s2 onwards, but s1 he was lawful neutral, hence why I put him in that corner. But once he abandoned the lawful he yeeted it hard. we stan

hes good, but hes not chaotic, and he says “fuck the law” 

Raphael Santiago: neutral good

Once again, he’s good, but no real chaotic energy. Definitely not lawful, and obviously good, so like... default here is neutral good.

Magnus Bane: chaotic leaning neutral good

Magnus doesn’t have deeply chaotic energy but there’s some mischief there and we stan. Like he’s the kind of person who helps everyone but also can do weird shit just for fun or like help in odd ways??? Idk it’s just the vibes

(how could anyone ever put him outside of the good slot??? and especially how could anyone ever put him in the CHAOTIC NEUTRAL square with “INDIVIDUALIST FIRST AND FOREMOST” individualist? have you ever FUCKING met magnus bane? he doesn't have a selfish bone in his goddamn body he literally does nothing but sacrifice his health and wellbeing over and over to help everyone around him, he basically only thinks about the greater good and the wellbeing of other people, and he never considers his own needs or PUTS HIMSELF ABOVE ANYONE ELSE what the fuck)

Maia Roberts: chaotic good

She just has like.... the vibes? I love her so much. Sometimes she has a problem and she decides to turn into a wolf and bite the problem. And we love that. But she’s also not dumb she’s very smart and cool and wonderful. Also she punched Jace and we stan.

Lydia Branwell: lawful neutral leaning evil.

i mean she was straight up willing to torture downworlders, put izzy on trial, and also marry a gay man and have kids with him, but she also wasn’t literally the worst and with pushing occasionally sort of did the right thing, or rather, let the right thing happen? 

she’s definitely lawful, like most clave assholes, but she’s not good by any stretch of the imagination

Underhill: true neutral

hes too bland to be chaotic or lawful, too boring to be good or evil. hes true neutral by default tbh

Luke Garroway: true neutral kind of leaning lawful although i didn’t show it on the graph

like... he has good intentions but he’s caught between too many interests. shadowhunters (his former people, his family, the woman he loved, his kid) and downworlders (his pack whomst hes supposed to actually care about, maia, simon) being a big one. but also like...... despite good intentions he always ends up putting clary and jocelyn first, which wouldn’t be a bad thing if he wasn’t supposed to be the leader of a pack and put their safety first.

idk he’s just kind of neutral there he’s trying but he’s got too many divided loyalties and i think he chose wrong sometimes. often really. i still like him but... i do not agree with him sometimes

also he just lowkey has lawful energy. maybe because he’s a cop? yikes.

Simon Lewis: true neutral

Similarly to Luke, he chooses Clary over his clan and Raphael, and consistently sort of seems to choose shadowhunters over downworlders despite his supposed divided loyalties. And he even has way less reason to than Luke does (Luke at least grew up in that culture and had a lot of ties back to it, Simon literally has Clary and apparently his crush on Izzy and that’s it) so despite the fact I think as a person Simon’s overall good and I honestly really love him, his actions in the show kinda make him more true neutral to me. Plus what he and Izzy did with Rosa was fucked up. 

Isabelle Lightwood: chaotic neutral

She has chaotic energy and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Like Simon, I like her a lot but she has some questionable actions, and while her intentions are generally good, she also serves her own interests and the interests of her family first. Generally speaking, not always. So... neutral. 

Meliorn: chaotic neutral

it’s the vibe

And he’s chaotic neutral in a totally different way like it’s less self-serving (although i think Meliorn would ultimately put his people first if necessary for sure) and more just like...... Seelies all got that neutral vibe, like they’re too old and alien to give a fuck? Like trees don’t care about politics. You know what I mean? 

Ragnor Fell: chaotic neutral

that painting scene dude

hes like.... avoid conflict at all costs

and he literally made jace and magnus invisible and bound in place hes a chaotic little shit. dramatic motherfucker. we stan

also chaotic as HELL 

Clary Fray: chaotic neutral leaning slightly evil

the evil thing is more a joke here just because she causes so much pain for her self serving ends but not necessarily out of genuine maliciousness

although she is plain mean for no reason sometimes (like the whole “bring it, warlock” thing wtf) and treats simon like shit so....

but generally she’s chaotic neutral and in a totally different way to meliorn or ragnor like..... they’re both going to stick up for them and theirs first, but they’re not like, selfish to the point of hurting others and not caring about that. They’ve got priorities but they’re not Like That.

clary is Like That.

she doesn’t care who she hurts or what gets damaged as long as her goal is achieved. she isn’t totally heartless or anything but like goddamn.

Imogen Herondale and Victor Aldertree: lawful evil

they generally put the law above all else, and use it to hurt people they deem lesser or don’t like.

imogen could be argued for a little neutral evil as she was willing to bend the law for her own flesh and blood but i’m gonna call that part of her evil. 

Valentine and Jonathan Morgenstern: neutral evil

valentine’s kind of chaotic energy just bc of how batshit his plans were sometimes but like. they’re both just boring evil. they don’t have a particular set of laws they care for, whether it be the clave or their own moral code. they’re just assholes and horrible and they like hurting people.

Camille Belcourt: neutral evil with slight chaotic lean maybe??? not really

she’s just evil idk what to tell u bro

she’s a horrible selfish person who puts her own needs first and hurts people to get what she wants, or just for fun

she has no code, but she’s not particularly chaotic either. she just uses people to get what she wants.

Asmodeous: neutral/chaotic evil

he’s kinda got chaotic energy but he’s just generally evil and horrible and self serving like the others idk what to tell u bro

Jace Heron-Way-Light-Stern: chaotic/neutral evil

he’s just...... horrible

he’s kind of like clary except more actively malicious and hurting people constantly and like.... just as selfish

and at least she has mostly good-ish intentions, if very narrow minded ones with tunnel vision. jace is just kind of a dick all the time and also thinks with his dick

like he’s actively horrible to people around him, including people he supposedly cares about and people who are actually helping him at cost to themselves

he’s got chaotic energy in the sense of just running around doing batshit crazy things that hurt people and also random overly fancy backflips for no reason

also he’s a privileged little white cishet 

Lorenzo Rey: chaotic evil

hes chaotic enough to keep a painting of himself as a baby and a whole mansion of useless shit, as well doing horrible random shit like taking someone’s house in exchange for life saving medical help and doing the equivalent of breakdancing aggressively in front of someone who recently lost their legs and is now in a wheelchair (who came to you asking for help getting a prosthetic) while saying “oh sorry, i couldn’t see you there without your legs, i was too busy using mine”

but also he’s just a fucking malicious piece of shit who’s incredibly self serving and evil lmao what a bastard

[thesorrowoflizards]

s1 alec had a cool arc and all but like... he also was kind of a dick and that was the point lmao? it doesn’t mean matt was a bad actor (although y’all. matt’s great and all but harry Carried the whole damn season) or that anyone who criticizes s1 alec HATES him it just means he developed as a character and went from lawful neutral (racist tendencies--”slave to their impulses” anyone?--and caring about the law more than people, etc.) to neutral good (willing to tear the clave apart with his bare hands, honestly getting better on other fronts) and that makes him both a more interesting and a more likable/relatable character lmao 

saying s1 alec was kind of a dick and the other seasons versions of alec were better does NOT mean “alec is bad” or “matt is bad” or “s1 sucked” although s1 did have a lot of problems. (personally i think some of the worst acting/characterization/plot choices were in s1, although maybe not all of the worst, however i think i liked a lot of aesthetics better--such as magnus’s look (clean shaven, more colorful and gnc, the cat eyes) and alec’s hair (i just like the messy look im sorry lghkjfgh) it just means like. s1 alec was a dick. because he kind of was. like. i’m not saying he didn’t have his own issues, or even that his arc sucked (because it didn’t, i actually liked it, even though it meant magnus didn’t have much to do outside being his love interest and being a convenient plot point) it just means that s1 alec, particularly earlier s1 alec.... was a dick. 

he can be a dick that grows and changes and you can still like him like?????? it’s okay. characters can have flaws and grow and get redemption arcs. although that might be strong words to describe it given alec didn’t necessarily start out evil, but like. you know. generally a dick, and like. still racist as fuck (calling simon “it” for one still really bothers me and grosses me out, general comments like the slaves to their impulses thing or “overpaying some warlock” or whatever, belittling comments about mundanes calling them “ants” and stupid, and you know, willing to have downworlders be literally tortured and not being bothered by this at all) so like.... he was objectively not great. i’m not saying he didn’t grow, or that he didn’t again have his own issues going on what with being closeted and with an obviously shitty family (mostly maryse and jace) but like..... still a dick y’all. the point is that he grew. if he’d started out already perfect and the One Woke Shadowhunter that would have been unbelievable and nowhere near as relatable, interesting, or compelling 

but like are y’all seriously being like “how dare you not like alec” like lmao it is. earliest pre-evolution alec. people literally still like alec, and even if people who did criticize s1 alec actually hated him, there’s still an overwhelming majority of people so far up alec’s ass that they refuse to see even a single flaw and often smooth over the edges until he’s a round bland and boring character that is honestly a disservice to the real alec and kinda shitty lmao? anyway it’s not like the whole fandom shits on your fave unlike what magnus stans experience so like. what are y’all worried about here. 

the whole point of criticizing s1 alec and liking him in later seasons more is because he grew as a person and went through character development. you think they’d like people appreciating alec and his character arc but like no you have to be licking his asshole at all times and insisting that he’s Perfect and Flawless And Did Nothing Wrong or you’re “jealous” and “need to calm down” and “blind” like ok lmao does your back hurt from bending over so far

[thesorrowoflizards]

i think there is a notable difference in the treatment of the dark/evil clary versus "morally gray"/evil/dark magnus tropes and people act like they just “like morally gray characters” and “dark stories/ships” but it’s quite transparent when you actually read how different characters are treated under this same trope/idea

like clary is treated as either Hot And Part of the Sexy Edgy Dark Murder Incest Trio so shes cool and murder is good actually and there's no abusive relationship here they're just all in love and a great murder ot3 or whatever... or like shes misguided and needs to be saved bc she went full dark no stars but its ok i promise shes a good person and she needs no redemption for her actions 

so like, it’s treated as a good thing, either as in murder is totally excusable and/or not the point (like reading a story about a supervillain, sympathetic or not, often comes with murder. people still like harley quinn and sympathize with her despite the fact she has killed before and will kill again, and this is not a problem nor is it treated as such, because the point is her morals are fucky. the story isn’t saying she’s necessarily a good person, but also you gloss over her actions because that’s not the point.) so her actions are glossed over and fine, or she’s completely forgiven/excused because She Was Manipulated Into It.

while evil magnus, while the "evil" IS treated as hot, is a) deeply opposed in canon and ooc, and like directly opposes his characterization and the point of his story (and literally his worst nightmare and something he has always taken great pains to never become!), while clary's evil thing was literally in canon and she actually did, and b) more rooted in his treatment of alec, a white character, and him being toxic/abusive/cruel and "owning" alec. the hot comes from alec, poor uwu white boy, being hurt and abused by magnus, a man of color. 

so magnus being evil isn’t a good thing, it’s almost always related specifically to him hurting alec (or someone else, but usually alec), and even if it’s not that, it’s about reveling in what a horrible monster he is, usually going right back into him being a downworlder (the subtext also connecting to him being a queer man of color, but more directly in the text, specifically his “demonic” nature) and it just being “in his nature” which is an incredibly racist and terrible narrative even if we are talking about literal demon blood the idea you can have an inherently evil nature is in of itself fucked up 

his actions aren’t sympathetic (despite the fact that even if we did throw out his characterization entirely and assume he became evil under asmodeous’s tutelage, he was literally like, an abused homeless child being manipulated by a much stronger and older man, who was his father and also a literal demon, so if anything he would be far more sympathetic than clary who just woke up one day and decided to murder) and he and his actions are directly condemned in a way clary isn’t. he’s just. a bad person. his actions are shown as bad things that he did. he is a horrible person. 

evil clary does something bad--hot. glossed over. not the point. or just forgiven and waved away. she’s hot, sexy, and effortlessly murdery. excellent. 

evil magnus--look how terrible he is! what a monster, doing something like that to such innocents! disgusting! he’s evil and we think it’s hot to make him a complete monster! look at him hurt alec! how horrible! 

not to mention again i can’t emphasize enough no matter how dumb it was clary canonically went evil full dark no stars and decided she wanted to murder for little to no reason... even tho she’s been through shit (nowhere near as much as magnus, and she’s still a privileged cis white shadowhunter, not to mention in canon, straight, despite the fact one can make good arguments for her being queer) but like she did go evil. that happened. so evil/dark clary, while often mishandled, isn’t necessarily against her character inherently. and it’s not a core part of her character to like, not be Like That, unless you buy into the angel blood = good nonsense, in which case, i hate to break it to you, but that is as much as an (albeit badly handled) allegory for racism/white supremacy as “mudbloods” are in harry potter. so like. maybe don’t buy into that, even if the narrative sometimes does (and cassandra clare always does, not that this is about the books, but just saying, she bought into her own fantasy racism because she’s that fucking bad)

magnus tho? dude. duuuuuuuuuuuude. the whole fucking point is that he’s been through endless shit, countless horrible things, deep trauma, and like. he’s still not fucking evil or dark. this man has been living as a gnc bisexual downworlder of color for like four centuries (whether you believe he’s trans or not he still falls into enough Minority Categories(TM) im pretty sure he’s got the “has been discriminated against and treated like shit a lot” thing covered), and he has gone through abusive relationships (romantic and familial) and lost friends and lovers, he’s been through horrible times where his people were hunted down like animals, he’s been personally hurt and abused over and over again, he’s been lonely and terrified and hurt and angry and scarred... and yet he always, always chooses kindness. he stays soft and vulnerable and kind, he stays selfless and full of love despite it all, which takes real fucking strength. he keeps caring, he doesn’t go numb, he doesn’t get cruel, he doesn’t ever go dark like his father wanted him to, like shadowhunters told him his blood made him. he isn’t dark, and that is the fucking point. that is what makes him inspiring, that’s why he’s compelling, and it’s like a huge fucking part of the core of his character. the whole goddamn point is he helps people and he’s kind and caring despite all the reasons he’s been given not to be! he made his choice a long time ago when asmodeous tried to make him dark, and he will never go back. that is literally his worst nightmare, something he still fears in himself to this day despite literally being the furthest thing from being anything like his father! because he’s a good fucking person! and y’all just want him to be evil so you can wank to your racist fantasies of him abusing your white fave. 

but sure, you just like dark, edgy, morally gray things. there is definitely nothing more to that. sure. 

[thesorrowoflizards]

unpopular opinion: there's a lot of overhyped rep (canon or not) that's just bad or even downright offensive. people over look it because there isn't/wasn't a lot of rep in media back then and/or because they think they'd be a hot couple. like the couple from CMBYN or st*rek, which are both widely known and popular ships despite both being pedophilic ships.

oh i def agree some rep is like waaay overhyped and/or straight-up offensive. CMBYN def made me :// and like, i feel like sterek could hypothetically be okay aged up (stiles is like 16 and derek was 6 years older so when they meet that’s def very very yikes but i mean, HYPOTHETICALLY years down the line 6 years isn’t a huge gap and it’s whatever) but like a) i dont love it when people are like “its ok, i aged him up!” it feels less weird when we’re not talking about like, literal ten year olds or something, but still def very weird. b) from what i saw of teen wolf i dont think they exactly had the best relationship anyway?? like??? ok. it’s not a ship i’d necessarily mega crusade against but people are def creepy about it and some people like to play into the age gap in a way that reminds me of book malec or worse :/

but i mean like sometimes its just the overhyped that gets me like look. look. i get it. i was into destiel too when i had my supernatural phase. i get it. it’s a fun ship, it’s cute, whatever. def better than wincest. but like people legit act like it’s straight-up canon and incredibly good rep just bc the actors teased that they’d be okay with it a few times? like it would ever happen? and also again, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with shipping them but two cis white guys is Not The Height Of Rep, especially in supernatural, a very white show with a history of killing off characters of color or making them evil or both, not to mention their yikes history with other things including queer rep. (also yes yes i know angels have wibbly wobbly gender and you could argue for that but like, no one writes it like that, let alone the show. that’s like when people insist the doctor is canonically nonbinary/genderfluid/etc. and i’m like look i’m with you and i agree but don’t give them credit for representation they’re not giving us.)

and then of course there’s the ships like st*rker that are just unarguably gross in every way like that’s a grown ass man and the minor he treats as a son, sir! but those are, while common, not as hyped up as ships like sterek or destiel.

and you know there’s other stuff i’ve heard of but can’t judge (like i’ve never seen the 100 or legends of tomorrow but i’ve heard both avalance and clexa have issues?) and you know, like even in shadowhunters, ships like j*lec and jimon get a lot of attention despite being.... not the best. particularly that first one. even some people working on the show in advertising and the like gave that attention, unfortunately.

but yeah i mean overall i definitely agree

[thesorrowoflizards]

tumblr recommended me one of the books only tags and im going to choke this blue fuck to death with my bare hands

[thesorrowoflizards]

i want a rewrite of the show that doesn't suck. no focusing on the white characters. yes good magnus characterization

[thesorrowoflizards]

i don’t even like clary and i think she deserves better than jace