Losing your Patients
Content Warning: Animal death & euthanasia
I hope that people understand how much people in the veterinary profession really do care about their animals. Last night I had three emergencies come in all at once: two colics and one laceration. One of the colicking horses had been colicking for two days, and the owner loved him more than anything, and they had insurance to do whatever we could do to fix him. But he had already ruptured his bowel by the time we saw him and the only thing to do was to euthanize him and spare him the suffering of dying from endotoxemia. I told him he was a sweetheart and how much he was loved and that he was not going to suffer any more and that I was so sorry. Then I euthanized him. I woke up this morning thinking about how much his loss was felt by the owners, and how I wish that I could have done better for him, and I felt so helpless in the moment when we had to tell his owners that he was dying.
My second colicking horse was brighter, but his colon was displaced and surgery was not an option. I understood - I was not able to pay for surgery for my own horse either. This patient stole my heart - he was so well behaved and he was so friendly. At the end of my shift I walked by him and gave him a pep-talk: “You’ve got to get better buddy! Your mom loves you and you teach lots of kids how to ride! You have to fix yourself sweetheart, please hang in there!” He quickly deteriorated overnight, and most likely needs to be euthanized today. Again, I feel so helpless. All the love in the world cannot save them.
My last emergency is stable, thank goodness.
I just hope people understand that even though we see several patients a day and even several tragedies a week, we still care. We might not grieve in front of you, but their stories stick with us. We try every day to do the best for our patients, and sometimes that means letting them go.
