We talk a lot about attachment today. How my anxious avoidant attachment type is basically the product of my childhood. What I can do to ensure that baby forms a secure attachment to me.
It is hard because I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like. I don’t know what i am supposed to do. I keep thinking it should feel more natural, i should just know but I don’t and therefore I am failing.
She asks me what I would have wanted from my parents and tbh that ship has sailed so long ago I can’t even begin to think. She asks me how would my parents have been reliable and the only thing I can come up with is that someone would have come to collect me when they said they would, which is pretty lame.
She asks me how I think I would feel if my mum had given me a kiss and told me she loved me when I was little. I tell her I can’t imagine and it just seems a kind of weird.
I’m feeling very guilty about all of this- I know mum tried her best and I pushed away as well so it isn’t really her fault. I don’t know anymore I’m so confused
