fem!jaskier meeting geralt in the spring with a bundle strapped to her chest and acting like nothing is different when geralt can clearly smell and hear the heartbeat of a baby right there seemingly suckling at her breast without a care in the world
he waits to see if she'll say anything before they leave town bc how would he start this conversation? you smell like milk and deception? and i can see a foot sticking out of that blanket, jaskier. you're not following me on the Path with that thing strapped to you. (also how didn't i notice you were pregnant i can smell when you're due for a piss) (and that little irriational thought of is it mine? even tho witcher seed doesn't breed and they've never crossed that boundary before bc geralt is a little thick)
and jaskier is just like oh i completely forgot, my dear, allow me to clarify. and explains that her parents have been demanding she return to their estate and marry but she's been lying about their adventures to them and accidentally slipped that she'd gotten pregnant on the road when she obviously hadn't bc she's meticulous about birth control and woops the time just passed her by and they're now demanding access to their supposed grandchild and threating to send vassals out to collect child and wayward mother so she's written them to say she'll be stopping by in the spring to leave them the child to raise as she is clearly unfit to marry some lord and raise a child of noble birth to their standards and the child she's strutting around with now is just an orphan from oxenfurt she's planning to pawn off as this supposed bastard of hers to her parents. the child gets a home, her parents get a male heir, she gets to be childfree longterm--this plan is flawless, dear Witcher.
geralt has just reunited with his friend and is already so exhausted. how are you feeding it if you didn't give birth?
jaskier goes on a diatribe about the herbs and teas used to trigger milk production and how its just as necessary to feed the baby while they travel to Lettenhove as it is to actually sell the lies at this point since its not like she gained a significant amount of "baby weight" or has stretch marks besides.
geralt really doesn't want a messy squalling little bit of monster bait coming along with them but the alternative is loosing the pair into the world without protection so.
off they go to lettenhove.