#guidetosarcasm

[eyeoftheaxolotl]

Guide to Sarcasm - Post 3: S&M

Friend: So, what's Pokémon Sun/Moon about? Me: It's about how I get a starter, completely fail to train it, catch a Yungoose and make the same Trump joke that literally everybody else does by naming it Trumpette, then it suddenly becomes the strongest, and while I'm sitting around wondering how the hell to stop being ADHD long enough to train, some shy blonde kid is struggling to keep her space fart in a bag. Said space fart goes through a brief stage of being an inanimate object, at which point blondie and I play magic flutes, therefore turning the inanimate space fart thing into either a galactic bat or a robot lion. The former space fart then creates a portal so that blondie and I can save blondie's mom from psychic jellyfish. Friend: Oh. Well, what are the main characters? Me: Me, my singing fairy seal, my overly protective blonde weasel, my thing that used to be a green school bus or something, my pink fairy rabbit, my pile of acid that happens to be on acid, my surfing mouse, some green-haired Hawaiian kid, a scientist with a crappily hidden alter ego, some old guy who laughs a lot, blondie, blondie's space fart, ya bug-loving boi, blondie's emo brother, blondie's shitty mother, a bunch of psychic space jellyfish from another dimension, and a bull that stalked me until I caught and imprisoned it.

[eyeoftheaxolotl]

Guide to Computers

Cookie - Data stored locally by sites. Give them to Santa with a glass of ice cold milk.

Bug - Glitch, usually caused by a moth, butterfly, or dragonfly.

Window - A box of stuff that can be opened by hand, closed by hand, resized by builders, or hidden with blinds, curtains, drapes, etc.

Dock - That little thing on the bottom that has icons that open up windows and/or apps. Boats that dock here can be removed by right-clicking on them.

Chip - One of the things that makes your computer work. Make sure to keep your mouse well-fed, otherwise it may eat this.

Floppy Disk - A thing that stores the computer's memory. It is not floppy, nor is it a disk.

Mouse - A thing in the real world that controls the cursor in the d1g1tAl WoRlD, among other things. Keep it away from chips and Apple devices, as these are potential choking hazards for a mouse.

Server - Computer used to provide the same service to multiple people. Alternatively, that thing that Roblox made and subsequently destroyed a list of.

Safari - That thing that you have on Apple devices that lets you use the Internet. On Macs, its sole purpose is to access and download the Chrome or Firefox installers.

Trash Bin: Apple's service for deleting such things as malware, accidental downloads, and old Apple cores.

Recycling Bin: Microsoft's eco-friendly alternative to the Trash Bin. When a window is not responding, throw it in here.