[oc rambles - call of the ring au]
Thoughts are all over the place but this idea sprung to me from the concept in Tolkien lore where elf are immortals, but can die from several aspects (oh yeah angst ahead but with a sweet ending I promise)
One is violent physical harm, the other is grief, and the third one (which is not technically death) is fading where their body becomes less connected to the world
[I have done zero research and the following are made up other than the canon lotr lore + not proof read grammar and english are terrible + I am live writing this]
But you know how Gandalf died in lotr?? Im thinking about that and how Raven felt it
— her body shook uncontrollably as she staggers and falls to the floor, it was as if the very axis of her balance were off and her world was spinning, heavy and tight was her chest—
“Mithrandir”, she whispered out harshly, clutching her chest, it twisted and turned, a sickening feeling bubbling up from within— it claws against her rib cage, like a beast wallowing in pain and sorrow, escaping her lips as she lets out a shriek, tears streaming down her skin
“No, it can’t…i-it cannot be—he promised!“
Something something Raven gets hits with such immense grief and mourn for Price, and slowly starting fading
[making this up once again]
Raven who spent her days and night in her chambers, stood as still as a statue under the moonlight, closing her eyes as she wondered to the stars above
Those who dwindles and seek solace in a far away place often leave pieces of their souls there
Lingers in the night sky, around stars and clouds, doesn’t want to go back— to the empty room, to face the silence, the heartbreak
The fair elf lost its once witty remarks, moving along the scrolls and the great halls with no aim, fair skin as white and bright as the snow darkened to a pale, dull complexion
“Loss is so loud,” she weeps quietly, holding a shiny jewel in her palm, “I had so much I’ve yet to tell you” the Froststar glimmer between her fingers, yet it only seemed to mock her misery “should’ve given it to you, maybe it would’ve helped, but you’re ever the stubborn wizard…” The pendant shines brighter, damp and slippery, “now I tell my secrets to the stars, in hopes it may reach you”
((Froststar is just Evenstar but in ref to her name, Eira which meant snow))
Just as the days only grew impeccably longer, something changed for once. It’s the ache again, around her chest, but it wasn’t suffocating, nor was it crushing—
It’s faint, like a flutter of a moth
She gasped out, holding the pendant tightly, “Price”
Stumbles out her bed, rushed straight to Lady Laswell (Elrond), begged and asked about anything and everything, and got a confirmation that the Grey Wizard, might have returned after all
((Rejoice! She’s not going to insane after all!!!))
The exhaustion finally catching up on her as she falls into a deep slumber that night, and she doesn’t thread through the night clouds in search for stars no…
He came to her, and suddenly, she was reminded of the words from Laswell
“We do not know if he truly is back…he may return a different being, thread carefully, Raven”
Froze on the dark chasm of her dream, she stayed rooted at where she stood, and she sees it
He does look different— white, his robes and staff are white, his beard is white (and oddly rather soft looking)
Has he ascended? Or is this merely a figment of what her exhausted bird brain has conjured up as a cruel joke? He looks the same actually beside the whole white look— what’s with the get up? Isn’t Saruman the White Wizard? Wait— did he took his place—
“Eirwen”
That pulls her out of her mind, and she released a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and trembled slightly
“Mǐrathra…”
She whispers back, tearing up immediately, watching as the familiar figure strides forward, those blue eyes who she has longed to see— yet felt so different—
“Gwael nǐn…you’ve gotten thinner…”
She sniffles, sobbing a bit
“Y-you’re not real”
“But I am, I’ve come to see you…”
“Y-you— I felt it—“
“Yes…yes I was”
Price reaches forward, brushing his knuckles on her cheeks, it felt ghostly, like a wind, but it always felt warm
He was always warm
“Im sorry, meleth nǐn, you’ve suffered a lot from me…”
“N-no…i-it’s fine— I…are you back…i-is your—“ she gestured his white robes and all “what…?” Myriad of questions, yet words failed her
Price laughs quietly, gruff yet fondly, staring at her with those crinkles around the corner of his eyes
“You need not think about those…” leans forward and presses his ghostly palm over her chest, and for a moment she felt it, the warmth seeping into her cold, frail body
“I will see you soon, so please…” his palm wafts through her chest, as if he was reaching out for her and held it dearly
“Keep that heart beating for me”
—she wakes up with her face wet once more, but not with an empty, void in her chest, as her heart beats once more
((Eirwen is her Sindarin name, literally it means white snow, Mǐrathra meant jewel, theres no direct translation for Price so this will do))
((Gwaleth nǐn: my bird, meleth nǐn: my love))
Anyhoo that’s basically the gist of it HDJFJSHS sorry if its messy as hell and the format’s weird, but yeah Raven nearly dying and fading from grief but Price returns and yippiieeee