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Zoid Rhymes

As mentioned back in the Garius review, the first five zoids were released in the US under the name Zoids: The Pre-Hysterical Monster-Machines, which was the first time the term “Zoid” was used in marketing. None of the kits were named in this release, but each one did have a rhyme that went with it. They’re....pretty bad to be honest. They do rhyme, but they don’t really conform to any rhythmic pattern, so they’re just kind of weird to say. Aquadon and Elephantus probably have the best ones in terms of rhythm.

It’s interesting how much these want to emphasize zoids as being “creepy” or “strange” or “terrifying”, considering that the line would pivot to focus more on “cool” in later years. At the very least I suppose Gurantula is a little creepy, though his rhyme makes him out to be terrifying, fearsome, and strong. Oh well.

#zoids #OAR #Garius #Glidoler #Gurantula #Aquadon #Elephantus

RMZ-004 Gurantula

Hell yeah, now we’re talking, I LOVE mechanical spiders, to the point where I will defend Wild Wild West on the basis that it has not one, but TWO robo-spiders in it. Gurantula, the spider in question today, is the first zoid that wasn’t a part of the Mechabonica line. While it reuses a lot of same design elements from the Mechabonica line, Gurantula introduces one of its own with its long, slender, curved legs. The molded legs of Gurantula are a far cry from the basic grey ones of its predecessors and works to make this design look more “complete” than them, feeling the most like a cohesive design. The cute little hunchback body with the cockpit mimics the segmented body of a spider and the guns under the chin (20 mm Maxter Beam Cannons, the Zoids Wiki says) remind me of a spider’s pedipalps.

It’s unfortunate that spider zoids are so rare then, considering how nicely this design turned out. Among arachnids, scorpions will turn out to be better-represented in terms of variety of designs. It’s a shame really, as scorpions are nice, but I’d love to see a big tough spider zoid. Still, Gurantula is a very cute little design that immediately communicates what its supposed to be. I suppose I never really appreciated it much before, but looking at it now it’s probably my favorite arachnid in the franchise and one of my favorite early zoids.

I also love that this zoid is supposed to be so fast. The info on the back of the box states that Gurantula is capable of moving at 205 mph which is far faster than most zoids, even Lightning Saix, which is well-known for speed. We won’t be getting there for quite a while. I love the image of these things skittering back and forth, zipping past Mammoths and Bigasaurus. Clearly Gurantula was intended to be a scouting zoid and I am in love with the idea that Republic engineers chose a spider for their fastest design.

Like Glidoler, Gurantula saw a couple of varations on the standard design and BOY there are a lot of zoids starting with the letter “g”. A cursory count indicates that about 20% of all zoids have a name starting with “g”. Things are pretty-front loaded though as so far 75% of the zoids covered have a “g” name.

Anyway, Gurantula was released unchanged in the Spider-Man and Zoids line under the name Spiderzoid. Also I kind of just dropped “Spider-Man and Zoids” in there without elaborating. For the uninitiated, Spider-Man and Zoids was a comic series that featured stories from both properties. The Zoids storyline then led into Zoids comic that ran with the original European release. It’s sort of a precursor to the OER and depending on how you count it, may be a part of the same line.

It was then rereleased in the form we see above in the main OER as Tarantulon, which is a much more sinister name. Like Terrared, Tarantulon was made a part of the Red Mutants faction and given an appropriately evil color scheme, along with swapping the cockpit to the empire standard. While I like the chunky and pleasant appearance of the Republic cockpit, I have to admit Tarantulon has a sleek and cool appearance. It seems pretty obvious though to make the spider a villain; putting it in the “hero” faction is subversive in a way I appreciate. Tarantulon was released in the Robo Strux line unchanged, which was a short-lived US version of the OER line. This version was called Legz and I can’t believe how much I hate that name.

Next there’s the Zoids 2 release, and now I have to talk about Zoids 2. So, between 1990 and 1999, there weren’t any new zoid models coming out of Japan, with the original line having ended in 1990 and the new line not starting until 1999. Zoids 2 was a European line, later released in Asia, made of designs from the OJR recast in absolutely TERRIBLE colors. Seriously, that’s the only real defining trait of Zoids 2: everything looks terrible and cheap, with every zoid having either silver or gold chrome parts. This version is still called Tarantulon and like, if you told me this was a knockoff made for a dollar store I would believe you. The choice of white, yellow, black, and silver chrome looks like Tomy wanted to make a quick buck and had plastic left over in those colors.

But I can’t hate it! It’s the worst, just the worst, its cheap and tacky and somehow looks so much lower in quality than the other releases, despite the fact that it’s the same mold. Compare it to the picture of the OER Tarantulon above! And still I love it for how bad it is. There are only 16 kits in the Zoids 2 line, but I intend to savor each one like a fine scotch. Just stare at that image for a few seconds, take it all in. They only get worse from here.

There’s actually another variant on Gurantula, but it’s a significant enough change that I’m going to give that one it’s own page, especially considering that I have already written way more about this little wind-up spider than I had intended. It’s also one of the last zoids released, currently numbered 198 out of 201 on my list. We’ll get there eventually. I’m a big fan of this guy though. He’s cute and sleek and is probably the first zoid to not feel totally out-of-place when put next to later models.

I like to picture a Gurantula out in the desert on a scouting mission, its pilot resting against the leg, taking a drink from their canteen. 5/5