At the moment, you want...
to realize
it's been hazy for a while, the fog only thickening. sometimes, it feels as though nothing has ever made sense. you're stuck, and often, you can't figure out yourself. you hope to understand yourself, but yourself feels out of reach, behind a locked door. maybe, this locked door has already been opened, and you've yet to process the contents. or maybe, you're still figuring out how to unlock it. perhaps the key is buried deep beneath the dirt of the earth, far in your skin, deep in your brain and your heart. surely, you can feel it if you try. don't whisk away this feeling, the need to realize. let yourself discover, let yourself come to a realization. it's a step forward, think of it as so. are you aware?
