For 37 days I've lived out of a suitcase. I've slept in four different beds, one couch and on the floor. Yesterday I loaded the last box into the car and moved it into the 5 by 8 foot storage, sliding it across the oak desk I'd had for the last ten years. There wasn't enough room for everything I had anymore. Sometimes I ask myself what the value was in all those boxes. What a couple dozen books and some old pictures mattered when one day it'd all fade to dust. I may never even return for these things, and yet here they are, boxed with care and shoved into the back of a concrete pit. I want to keep living out of this suitcase, not move to a new room, a new place. I don't want to dig out the pieces and put them on the walls again, for the 23rd time. I'll just pack it all again someday soon. Part of me says, "Take it all to the nearest donation center. Buy a ticket. Leave. Let it all go." And I would, if I knew I could with a clear conscience.
My new cell is 110 square feet. The walls are a color we call "3AM Latte". It reminds me of the coffee I brew at dawn to pull my tired lids open. There's a window that opens up to a couple oak trees and a rising hill of green pasture. A couple cows wander through it and I see them in the mornings when the sun rises. The window faces the East. I don't sleep much past the point it hits the horizon. The house it's in is big. There's wood floors and an open kitchen. There's a piano in the living room, and the notes sing out melodies that fill the vaulted ceilings. The sun sets on the front porch and the rays warm my face when I sit in the wood swing.