ask meme // accepting // sorry this is like a billion years late WEEPS
💥 Try to calm my muse during an overwhelming emotional moment
It wasn’t Bedivere he wanted to see here, but of course that’s who appears when he yells. Bedivere, the king’s hand, who was and is too caring for his own good. Bedivere, who Lancelot has no desire to fight and who he feels even more of a disappointment around. “Go away!” He barks out, voice tight and constricted, even as Bedivere steps closer.
“Go away, go, let me die letmedieletmedie,” he chokes out in a frenzy, doubling over on himself. The scrape of metal as his fists clench with a complaint from his gauntlets. Too much, it’s too much to have Bedivere here as well, daring to try and extend a hand toward him and offer something that’s just as caring as it is uncertain. A helpless scream from Lancelot, broken and keening and directed inwards at himself.
He can’t, he doesn’t want to hurt Bedivere, doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want the pity or to be seen, he just wants Arthur to face him and be done with it, let him disappear, let him dissolve into nothing but jagged screaming and black fog. He tries, certainly.
But Bedievere is still here, and so is Lancelot, still caught inbetween madness and panic, a wide-eyed sharp glare at the floor.