It’s Thanksgiving. 2017. Your aunt Loraine is coming. You cannot stand your Aunt Loraine. In addition to being a complete and utter asshole, she wears this rose perfume. You’re highly allergic to roses. Your eyes always water constantly whenever you’re around them. But Loraine refuses to change because a disrespectful child like yourself won’t toughen up.
Loraine arrives for Thanksgiving and forces you into an awkward embrace with a “Hi there how ya doin’?” You can feel it instantly. Your eyes well up, and soon they’re so watery you can’t see.
“I’m great Aunt Loraine. Just swell...” you reply.
Dinner comes and your setting is directly to the left of Aunt Loraine. You attempt to switch place setting with your mom without anyone looking, but Dale, your uncle, catches you and brazenly asks why you don’t want to sit next to Loraine? You make some silly excuse about how you’d rather sit closer to your Dad on the other side, but Loraine catch’s wind (As she always seems to since that scent is EVERYWHERE.) and asks you why you don’t want to sit with her. You decide to go with it, and your mother’s pretty particular about the settings anyway.
You’re wiping your eyes quite a bit for obvious reasons during the entirety of dinner, and everyone keeps asking what is wrong, since your eyes are the size and colour of crab apples at this point, but you say your fine and keep going. Eventually Loraine slaps your hand as your trying to dab your eyes and says that it is improper manners to wipe your eyes at the table. Stupid bitch. But you carry on any way because why insight confrontation when you could just be incredibly uncomfortable?
Dessert comes and goes and finally everyone leaves. Your Dad who’s quite understanding turns to you and asks sympathetically how you’re doing. You turn to him and say,
“I can see clearly now, Loraine has gone.”
