Color & Chill took a bad turn last night at the end. I ended up hurting someone I care about with my honesty. Coloring can open people up in good ways and in bad ways. I should have been honest a long time ago, I felt like I was put in an uncomfortable situation last night. People change and I thought my feelings would too, but instead they remained the same neither going up or down. So in the end I'm paying for it like I usually do. It's been a year since my breakup and I'm still feeling the pain and I'm not in any position to be dating or seeing anyone. I'm ok with being alone, I've been that way since I was plucked from home and brought here to America. I think it's time I go back to Morocco indefinitely. I feel like I'm not doing very much good while I'm here. I just want stability in my life before I can let anyone in. If that makes me a bad person than I guess that's what I'll be. I get offered help, it usually comes with a price, nothing in this place is free or given. So I'm done asking and I'm done losing people over what they give me. From now on I'll make it on my own, if I lose friends in the process than so be it. I've lost friends to worst things like drugs and gun violence. Nothing has changed. It's really hard to be positive right now, I'm trying my best to keep loving, so instead of hurting more people, it's time to retreat and self reflect on my intentions and more importantly my actions. Definitely a sobering day this has been. Color & Chill will be back again next week, I will still be coloring, I will still be honest, I will still be open. #peace #art #mandala #love #habit701 (at Skybridge, Chicago)