Description: Jay fell in love when he was undercover, ten years later they find each other again when there’s a homicide
Pairings: Jay x Reader
Warnings: Betrayal, death, loss of a loved one, broken heart, mentions of depression, mentions of lies, reader feels like a burden for very small sec
Beep
Beep
Beep
The alarm clock on the bedside table beeped, announcing it was time to wake up and get ready for the day.
With an annoyed and groggy groan, Jay reached over pressing the snooze. For a second, the night before had slipped his mind and then everything with the case and the night he had where he had confessed he still loves Y/n and her confession all came flooding back to him.
"I still love you, It never went away."
Her words are etched into his brain, he was never going to forget that.
She still loves him. He figured after all of these years, after he had disappeared and had to lie about who he was, she wouldn't want anything to do with him. But she still loves him.
Jay is a realist but he can also dream. He knows they will have to get to know each other again, that is if she continues to allow him to be in her life after all of this.
So, now, he finds himself in bed, tangled in the comforter on his back, but this time he's not alone. And it is not some random girl.
His stomach is filled with butterflies and he feels a warm surge go through his body when he looks down to find Y/n tangled in the comforter too.
One leg is out of the blanket, her hair is a mess and she is cuddled up to his chest, sleeping peacefully.
God I missed this.
He thought to himself, it was going to be extremely hard to let her go now after all of these years but he would have to for her sake if that is what she wants.
Jay fights himself for a second before very gently and quietly, sneaking out from under her and heading for the bathroom to get in the shower to start his day.
--
Y/n wakes up to a phone ringing, she was sleeping so peacefully- it was the best sleep she had gotten in years.
She was irritated to say the least, how could someone interrupt-Oh shit.
That's when it all came back to her. Her brother dead and gone, Jay is on the case, she's staying with Jay, she's in Jay's bed right now.
She pushed herself up into a sitting position, looking around the bedroom.
Jay was nowhere to be found, she could hear noises coming from somewhere outside of the room but wasn't sure where.
That's when her phone rang again.
Y/n sighed before taking the phone from the nightstand and unplugging it from the charger.
Wait? Did she plug that in?
"Hello" She answers tiredly.
"So you thought your little boyfriend could protect you" the voice on the other end says and Y/n immediately recognizes the voice as the one that called yesterday.
Her blood runs cold as her one hand is now gripping the sheets below her. Her heart beat quickening.
"That's alright" the voice chuckles, an evil snicker.
That's when Jay walks into the bedroom, surprised to see Y/n up. Only coming back to the room to grab his gun and badge, that's when he notices the pale look on her face, the shaking in her hands.
Jay already knows what's happening, almost storming his way over and taking the phone out of her hand.
Y/n doesn't protest, feeling the same terrified feeling as before.
"Who is this" Jay says into the phone and Y/n can feel the anger radiating off of him.
She's shocked there isn't smoke coming out of his ears.
"Ah, detective, You think you can protect your precious pet? You're wrong" the man's voice says before the call ends with a click.
Jay notices Y/n's breath quickening, like she's gasping for air.
He drops the phone on the bed, immediately crouching down to her level.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, it's just me and you. Okay? I won't let anyone hurt you" his voice is soft, gentle as he places a hand on her knee, another taking her hand in his.
"W-what if y-you aren-t there" Y/n manages to get out in gasps, tears in her eyes.
Jay shakes his head, feeling his heart break at the sight of the tears flowing down her cheeks now. This time he doesn't hesitate, reaching out to wipe her tears.
"I'm not leaving you alone until we find this guy, okay? Until we find all of them. I will never let you get hurt again" Jay promises and in that moment he's referring to how he hurt her but also anyone who physically tries to hurt her.
Taking her hand and pressing into his chest, right over heart, "Just breathe with me, come on babe, I know you can do it" he encourages, taking in deep breaths.
Y/n focuses on the feeling of his chest rising and falling as he breathes, she focuses on how blue his eyes are, the feeling of his hand holding hers, the scent of his cologne.
In those things, she can feel herself relaxing.
"There you go, I knew you could do it" Jay gives her a soft smile, gently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb to soothe her.
"Now, I have to head to work, do you want to come with me? I can drop you off at the station while I meet the team at your house" Jay offers, feeling better if he knew where she was and if she was surrounded by cops.
Y/n thinks about it for a moment, would she rather be alone in this apartment, waiting for someone to kill her? Or would she rather be at the station?
"Okay" Y/n nods, giving Jay a small smile.
Jay smiles, standing up straight "Okay, why don't you get ready and I'll wait for you in the kitchen?" he suggests and Y/n sends a small nod.
--
Y/n follows Jay into the district, feeling a little nervous.
Not because she did anything wrong, but because she had never been around so many police for one. For two, her brother used to be in a gang and they used to practically live with said gang.
It was like Jay sensed her nervousness, glancing at her and shooting her a soft smile, taking her hand in his.
Y/n takes notice of the older woman behind the desk who is practically burning a hole through her. And oddly enough, Jay leads her straight to her.
"Hey, Trudy, would you be able to spare someone to hang out upstairs for awhile?" Jay asks, hoping just for a regular patrol officer.
The older woman, or Trudy as Jay calls her hums.
"What's this for, Chuckles?" Trudy asks curiously, wondering what the task was.
Jay rolls his eyes at the nickname, Y/n can't help but giggle a little at the name, covering her mouth.
Jay looks to her, raising an eyebrow "Oh you think that's funny?" Jay teases, an amused look on his face.
Trudy glances between the two curiously, finding the interaction amusing and adorable--but she would never admit that.
"I just need someone to hang out with Y/n, here for a little while we process the crime scene" Jay explains.
Trudy looks around, finding an older officer behind her.
"Jenkins, you cover the desk until I'm back" she says, not even waiting for a reply or confirmation before walking out from behind the desk.
"Come on, I make a pretty good cup of coffee" Trudy says with a kind smile, linking her arms with Y/n and pulling her away from Jay upstairs.
Y/n looks back at Jay nervously to which he just gives her a nod, letting her know it will be okay. He watches, waiting for them to make it upstairs before he heads out the front doors again to meet the team at Y/n's house.
--
"So" Trudy starts as she places the mug of hot coffee down in front of Y/n, taking a seat opposite of her "How do you know Chuckles?" she finishes.
Y/n sighs "It's kind of a long story" she says hesitantly.
"We've got time" Trudy tells her, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, my brother was in a gang and Jay was undercover--of course I didn't know that at the time-- he became my brother's best friend and we dated. Then Jay just disappeared. We found out he was a cop and my brother and I got out of that life. But Jay comes knocking at my door yesterday after ten years to tell me my brother had been killed so, here we are" Y/n finishes the small recap, staring at the coffee mug that sits in front of her.
Trudy reaches over, placing her hand on top of Y/n's, giving her a sympathetic smile "I'm sorry about your brother. If anyone will find out who did it, it's this unit" the older woman reassures her.
Y/n shoots her a sad smile, the thought of her brother heavy on her mind.
Brian was the only person she had and now what was she going to do?
Y/n heard voices, some commotion, before seeing a brunette woman and a taller brunette man, leading someone past the room.
Then there was Jay, entering the break room, his vest on. Y/n was a little confused, weren't they just going to process evidence at her house?
"Hey, how's it going?" Jay asks, a smile on his face when he meets her eyes.
"I was just telling Y/n some stories about you" Trudy teases, making Y/n nod in agreement, a smile on her face.
"I hope all good ones" Jay jokes, leaning on the table and looking at Y/n.
She shrugs, leaning back in her chair "Maybe, maybe not" she teases back.
Jay rolls his eyes before switching to a more serious demeanor "Does the name Michael Juarez ring a bell?" he asks her.
Y/n thinks for a second before shaking her head, "No, I've never heard that name. Why who is he?" she asks wondering who that was.
"We think he was the one making the phone calls. If we play some voice recordings for you, do you think you could ID the same voice that made the calls yesterday and today?" Jay asks cautiously.
They already have the phone records showing the calls Juarez made to her but they had to be sure.
"Definitely" Y/n tells him with full confidence.
Jay smirks, squeezing her hand gently "That's my girl, I'll be back in 30" he tells her before leaving the room.
Y/n can feel her cheeks getting hot as soon as he leaves.
"That's my girl"
--
Jay had gone to help Kevin set up the voice recordings for Y/n to listen to.
They had found out Michael Juarez was the new leader of the gang Brian was in and he had word out on the street for anyone that could track down Y/n and Brian--wanting to tie up loose ends.
They had been the only ones to just get out. To not have any ties to the gang, to make it out unharmed--until now.
When Juarez found out about it, he made it his top priority to take them out.
"So, once this case is over--you think you'll see her again?" Kevin asks, side eyeing Jay as he navigates the tablet in hand.
Jay glances at his friend, shaking his head "I don't know" he mumbles.
He hopes so, he really does.
He's not sure if he could come back from it if she didn't want to see him after this.
But he would always respect her wishes.
Kevin is silent, patting his friend's shoulder.
Jay stands up from the chair he's sat at "Well let's get this done so we can nail that SOB and get his buddies".
He's determined to arrest and put away the men responsible for Brian's death and the ones that attempted to harm Y/n.
When Jay and Kevin enter the break room, Jay is surprised to find Y/n and Voight laughing together.
It shocks Kevin, stopping the both of them in their tracks.
Jay clears his throat, walking further into the room, catching their attention. "We have six recordings for you to listen to" he starts, sitting down in the chair next to Y/n, across from Voight.
"All you have to do is listen to the recordings and let us know if you can identify the man that called yesterday and today" Jay finishes his instructions, a gentle tone in his voice and his eyes soft as he gives her a reassuring smile.
Y/n gives him a nervous smile "Okay, sounds easy enough" she jokes.
Jay plays the first recording, Y/n shakes her head "No" she confirms it's not the voice.
Jay plays two more before Y/n stops him, her eyes wide and chills running down her spine.
"That's it--that's him" Y/n can feel her hands start to shake just from hearing the man's voice.
Jay nods, handing the tablet to Kevin as he reaches out, squeezing her hand "Good, you did really good" he reassures her with a soft voice.
Voight stands from the table, looking between Kevin and Jay "Let's get the names of the accomplices and wrap this up" .
--
Y/n sits on the couch in the break room, fidgeting with her hands. She had been at the district all day, having only going out with Jay to grab a quick lunch before heading back to the district.
She didn't mind, considering it was for her safety and by the end of it she could go home and be safe.
But, she still was anxious to get out of there.
She also wasn't ready to be alone with her thoughts and her grief.
It was getting to be around five pm when Jay knocked on the doorframe, alerting her of his presence.
"Hey" he greets her softly, making his way to the small couch and sitting next to her.
"Hey" Y/n greets him, her hands stilling as she met his blue eyes.
"We got 'em, all of them. Juarez confessed to Brian's murder himself, he'll be going away for the rest of his life" Jay explains, he feels a weight lifted off of his shoulders. Knowing the threat is taken care of.
But he feels uneasy still. Maybe because he's afraid he'll never see her again.
Y/n feels relief wash over her, a smile on her face.
Before she can even think, she's hugging Jay.
Jay can barely process what's happening but immediately wraps his arms around her.
"Thank you, Jay" Y/n is grateful that the threat to her life is gone and there will be justice for her brother.
"Of course" he answers quietly as they let go.
Y/n lets out a little laugh "You know, Brian would probably lose it if he saw us right now" she says quietly, thinking about her brother seeing them together.
"I wish he was here, I wish he got to see you again--you were his best friend"
Jay chuckles, there's a hint of sadness behind it "He was mine too" he replies honestly.
It was true, at the time Jay was fresh out of the academy, he had been put under as the perfect person for the job. He didn't expect to relate to Brian and to grow so close to him, forgetting sometimes that it was all built on a lie.
He also never expected to fall so hard and fast for Y/n.
"I can take you home now" Jay says after a moment.
Y/n nods, standing up from the couch.
Jay stands up guiding her out of the room and out through the bullpen.
They stay in comfortable silence as they make their way outside and to Jay's truck.
Jay rushes forward, opening the passenger side door for her.
"Thank you" Y/n feels the butterflies again as she gets into the truck, waiting for Jay.
Jay gets in the driver's seat, Y/n watches as he puts the truck in drive, pulling out of the parking lot.
It's only a ten minute drive from the district to her house, one that's spent in silence.
Y/n wants to speak, she wants to tell him not to leave.
Jay isn't sure what to do, he doesn't to push her boundaries.
As the truck comes to a stop in front of the cream colored house, Y/n feels dread fill her stomach as Jay shuts the truck off, getting out.
He makes his way around the truck, opening the passenger door for her once again.
Y/n gives him a small smile as she gets out of the truck, Jay shutting the door behind her.
"Hey, Jay?" Y/n stops in her tracks, at the base of the steps that lead to her front door.
"Yeah?" Jay can feel his heart beating quickly in anticipation.
Y/n sighs, looking at her feet before meeting Jay/s blue eyes "I don't want to not see you again--I-i don't think I could lose you again" the young woman admits.
She can feel her hands shake, maybe Jay won't feel the same way?
Jay feels a sense of relief wash over him, his stomach is doing flips again.
He notices the shake in her hands is back, reaching out and taking her hands in his.
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Now that I found you again, you are not getting rid of me that easily" It's a promise but also a declaration, he won't be going anywhere as long as he can help it.
Y/n smiles, feeling warm and a sense of happiness "Good, do you want to come in for a drink?"
--
Y/n sighed, turning over in bed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour.
She had fallen asleep around midnight, a little after Jay left.
They sat in her living room, catching up on their lives--what had changed since they last been together.
Y/n learned Jay has a brother, Will, and that he is a doctor at Chicago Medical Center.
She heard a lot of stories about the brothers.
She also heard about Jay's ex and her moving to DC abruptly to take a job with the FBI.
Jay confessed that his heart wasn't really in it for awhile but it still hurt when she left. He healed from it, never losing the thought of Y/n but he also never thought they would see each other again-that it wasn't possible.
Y/n didn't think it was possible either. They were from two very different worlds. At the time at least.
Now? She's just a normal woman, grieving the loss of her brother, trying to navigate the love of her life popping back into her life, and her job.
She had already talked to her boss, explaining the situation and they had told her not to worry about work and to take all the time she needed.
Truthfully she didn't know if she could really ever go back there, considering everyone knew her brother and he had been there countless times.
Jay on the other hand knew basically everything about her, not much had changed other than getting out of the gang and having a quiet life.
She went a date or two here and there, never able to commit to anyone because she had a fear of them leaving or not being someone she could trust.
That can happen when you are in a serious relationship with someone and they disappear, only to find out he was lying about his identity.
Brian had a girlfriend for a year before she cheated on him, he was also on the less trusting side.
He worked at a mechanic shop, making quick friends with the guys there.
Y/n on the other hand led a more secluded life, going to work, run errands, go home. Only really ever seeing her brother regularly.
And then there is now, she lies awake in bed--knowing she should be asleep but unable to do so.
The nightmare she had of being made to watch someone shoot her brother all too real.
She glances at the clock, 3:13am.
An idea flooded her mind and she lay there contemplating it for a second.
Picking up her phone, she let out a sigh.
He probably won't even pick up.
Y/n clicked on the contact "Jay", hitting the call button and placing the phone on speaker before laying on the pillow beside her.
One ring.
I shouldn't wake him.
Two rings.
I should hang up
"Halstead" Jay's voice is deeper than normal, full of sleep.
He must have been confused when he heard nothing on the other line, taking the phone away from his ear before looking at the caller ID.
"Y/n?" he says into the phone, sounding more awake now.
"I'm sorry for waking you up--I didn't really expect you to answer I just-um-I had a nightmare and can't sleep" She felt like a little kid, feeling embarrassed now and like she wanted to sink into a hole and hide.
There's shuffling on the other end for a second. "Give me 15 minutes" Jay says before the call ends.
Y/n is confused but also feels ashamed. He's probably angry with her. But 15 minutes? he didn't have to call back if he was mad.
--
Jay parks his truck outside of the townhouse, shutting off and getting out, making his way up to the door.
When Y/n called there wasn't an ounce of hesitation. She didn't ask him to come over, but she didn't have to. He would move mountains for her.
He knocks on the door without a second thought.
Inside, Y/n paces back and forth in her bedroom. Now she was really down bad.
Her mind already in a dark place about her brother and now Jay was pissed at her for waking him up.
He probably doesn't want to deal with me, too much of a burden.
She couldn't blame him though.
It would probably annoy her if someone woke her up in the middle of the night about a bad dream.
What am I five years old? I am grown adult that can't handle a little bad dre-
A knock at her front door startles her out of her thoughts.
Weary and unsure, she peeks out of the window in her bedroom facing the front of the home.
When she sees that familiar truck and a brunette at her door, she can feel her heart beating rapidly.
Not wanting to make him wait, she makes her way downstairs quickly, unlocking the door and opening it.
Jay takes in her appearance, a clearly oversized sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, her hair messy from the tossing and turning.
He can't help the small smile on his face.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have called or woke you up-- I-i can handle a silly little dream, I shouldn't have bothered you" Y/n blurts out instantly, and Jay can see the fear in her eyes.
"Hey" Jay says softly, stepping inside and placing his hands on her shoulders, ducking down to meet her eyes. "You could never bother me. And I doubt it was a silly little dream. You can always call me, day or night and I'll be here, okay?".
Y/n can feel relief wash over her, her heart warm and her stomach has the butterfly feeling again.
The promised of him being there, no matter what--that was more than she ever had in someone.
"Okay" Y/n says softly.
Jay turns quickly, shutting the door behind him and locking both locks.
"Now, do you want to talk about the dream?" he asks gently.
Y/n shakes her head "No, can you just stay with me tonight?" she asks sheepishly.
Jay smiles, taking his head in hers "Of course I can, let's go to bed".
He guides her upstairs, to the bedroom he had to save her from just the other day.
Y/n gets in the bed first, Jay follows after placing his keys, phone, badge and gun on the bedside table.
Jay doesn't hesitate, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his side. Y/n rests her head on his chest, one hand resting over his heart, her legs tangled in his.
The scent of his cologne, the feeling of his sweatpants on her legs, the feeling of his hand running through her hair. That's enough to make her feel safe, safe enough for her eyes to droop and her breathing to slow down.
"Thank you" Y/n mutters quietly "for making me feel safe" .
"Always" Jay whispers, placing a kiss on her hair, Y/n already fast asleep.
