#haley at work

[blogginghaley]

I’m a preschool teacher and, the other day, one of my babies folded his little five year old arms, huffed, and said, “I just want to be a nerd.” 

[blogginghaley]

Congratulations are in order. I married Santa Claus.

As with all engagements, the idea was proposed by a completely unrelated, third party member. One of my five year-old students informed me in October of the upcoming nuptials.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of SANTA CLAUS and Mrs. CLAUS (MISS HALEY) Friday November 17th at their home in the North Pole

Our wedding planner, age five, made sure we had everything we needed for a lovely ceremony.

Need: A big, big teddy bear, Balloons, Flowers, Cookies for Santa and the future Mrs. Claus, Cake (you eat it), To look very handsome (Santa), Dancing, First dance song (Jingle Bells), Open the chair for ladies so she can sit down. Yeah, the guys too.

For our honeymoon, we plan to travel the world on a sleigh, delivering presents. I am sure it will be memorable.

Happiest of Holidays,

Mrs. Claus

[blogginghaley]

One of my preschool students decided to do my makeup. She used a magic wand toy and I swear it was like watching a makeup tutorial. She was so careful and absurdly accurate (you know, for a three year old who isn’t actually using any real makeup). 

There were only two students left in the room, this little girl who will someday have a huge youtube following probably and a little boy. Now, the little boy was sitting next to us and he started to pout. Eyes to the floor, arms crossed. The little girl looks over and sees this. She promptly “wipes off” the pretend makeup on my face and says, “Okay, Jacob. Your turn.”

The little boy was overjoyed. He went right to work. 

And that’s how I ended up discovering the new fashion craze I assume you will all be talking about soon: nail polish on your neck, rainbows all over your face, a unicorn sticker right in the middle of your forehead, and a unicorn tattoo on your hair. 

[blogginghaley]

Me, a grown ass adult teacher: ... so because they say may the force be with you, and it is May 4th, we culturally acknowledge and refer to this as Star Wars Day. May the fourth be with you. Get it?

Me: .......anyway, to answer your question, that's why I'm wearing a Jedi Dress in class.

4 year old: ◔_◔ ???

[blogginghaley]

I'm about to be a preschool teacher and I'm on the hunt for teacher-appropriate clothes. What's the dress code at your school? Is it true that preschool teachers should wear crappy stuff to school because the kids are so messy?

One time a child painted my butt. They just walked by with a paintbrush and drew a line right on my jeans. On my bottom. 

So yes. Don’t wear your fanciest clothes. Some teachers take that and wear things like scrubs or have designated work clothes and designated home clothes. Some teachers immediately change when they get home cause of the germs. Some teachers wear aprons, which can definitely help because of the pockets/random things students will hand you at any given time. 

My best advice is to just dress comfortably. Wear things you can chase children around in. Wear things you can sit legs criss-cross in. Check with your school about dress codes. Usually the standards are no open-toed shoes and a sort of general “work appropriate” sort of rule. You know, things that you can wear around children. 

My school has super lax rules, so I tend to show up in jeans or leggings and some kind of top. If I wear a skirt or a dress I always have something on under (shorts, leggings). That’s important cause kids will try to pull up your skirt or dress. 

Good luck! Preschool is a wild ride, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here!

[blogginghaley]

I work with preschoolers and sometimes I spell things so the kids don’t know what I’m saying. 

The other day one of the kids was having a tough time during pick up and I turned to my assistant teacher and said, “She just said I-H-A-T-E-M-O-M.” One of my other students turned around and excitedly added, “S-P-O-T!” like HAHA you grownup I can spell things too

[blogginghaley]

I work with preschoolers. Today at recess they wanted to play Star Wars. As the adult, I obviously had to be the bad guy. So one kid was like “You’re Kylo Ren!” 

I responded as any normal person would with: “I LOVE DARTH VADAR. LOOK AT MY COOL LIGHTSABER. ANGST.” 

The kids were vaguely concerned. 

[blogginghaley]

How to April Fools, according to Pre-K students:

Randomly yell: “There’s a bear behind you!” (There is no bear). 

Say it’s your birthday. PS it is not your birthday. 

Try that bear thing that another kid literally just did. 

Say you have a mustache. Actually, every single person in the room has a mustache. (This works best if no one has a mustache). 

There’s another bear?

Just laugh and yell APRIL FOOLS! No context needed. It’ll be hilarious. 

Bears???