St Halston of Moonhold, aka Halston “Torq” Thorkelson
He is the patron saint of city guards, people of orcish descent, and for (some reason) window makers. He is frequently depicted accompanied by a kitten and sometimes a duckling. His best-known injunction is to be excellent to each other and stuff.* His disciples refer to him as “Padre Torq” or sometimes simply “the padre.”
I really want to like mail this to matthew but (a) I don’t have an address, and (b) that might be kind of weird. I mean (c) i don’t even know if he would want it. Torq has just been such an important part of the podcast, and i’ve always loved the fact that he’s not just a big dumb hitter but he also gets and cares about people**
also i normally don’t care that i don’t have a scanner at my disposal but just this once it would be nice
obvs heavily inspired by ursula vernon’s animal saints
*this is sometimes interpreted as a plea for kindness and respect for other peoples’ property
**thinking back to the whole... trelle and ket drama from back on the sage coast, and also the ending of season 4b