#haludh.

[kinlochs]

@haludh sent, ' [ edge ] sender brings receiver right to the brink, over and over, refusing to let them finish. '

This was cruelty at its finest. Oh, Maker, how cruelty could still be so beautiful. Lanaya has him wrapped around her finger. Sweat clings to the tense muscles of his neck, Cassian's hair tousled and lips spit-slick from earlier. Even the muscle peeking out of the hastily undone shirt flayed open spoke of endless tension.

He couldn't give her the satisfaction. He couldn't. He wouldn't. The way Lanaya looks at him, though, so intently and challengingly, makes him want to squirm again. Oh, yes, Lanaya's hands had wandered across his chest and down to the hard length between his legs. Over and over again, she had stroked and coaxed him to the edge, his grunts and stifled moans becoming so apparent it was hardly even a question.

'Lan—shit, Lanaya—"

Cassian's hips bucked upwards involuntarily. He chased the mounting pressure, that just-not-enough feeling while she strung him along so expertly. It was nearly painful how aroused he was. She could look at him the wrong way and he'd—

His entire body tensed as the pleasure swelled and threatened to peak. He moved into her hand desperately, practically whimpering beneath her—and then gasped.

Nothing. Again. Cassian's heart thrummed a million miles a minute, his entire body reeling with all this tension and nowhere for it to go. His chest heaved and another bead of sweat collected in the hollow of his collarbone.

'Fuck," Cassian hissed, "Maker, I'll— just do it myself. I—fuck."

[vorashvan]

@haludh decided to torture me (positive).

" i heard about your brother, " there's an apologetic look on the inquisitor's face. she had lost far too many people. if anyone could understand bellara, it might've been her. " i know we're not ... but i've been there ... if you ever want to talk ... i'm usually in the music room. "

When Bellara looks at Lanaya, she sees an echo of who she used to be. Before the Breach, before losing those closest to her, and prior to the Inquisitor's title weighing heavily on her shoulders. She can see it now—can hear it in her quiet voice.

Of all things that Bellara focuses on, though, she sticks on the last bit. It feels a little too much like clinging to normalcy, but it's the only thing that'll keep her grounded. Bellara is unmoored without Cyrian. Who does she have now?

"Oh." The silence is loud. "Why are you staying in the music room?" Bellara asks dumbly. Her brows knit and she feels heat rocket up the back of her neck. "Sorry, that's a weird thing to focus on. I'm just—thanks. It's, um—... thanks. We're arranging an Elven burial for him, actually." Bellara's gaze flickers uncertainly. "You could come, too."

[kinlochs]

@haludh said, "i would've married you, if you stuck around."

The words struck him quickly and deftly like a knife in the dark. For all he knew, the Inquisitor had just become his assassin. If there was a death out there for him—well, he supposed it would be better off to expose his neck to her for the cutting.

He thought these things and did otherwise. A thick lump had formed in his throat and he found himself turning away. The clench of his jaw withheld a crumbling dam of emotion that he dared not probe.

"You do not think that I have thought about this in my absence?" He edged tightly. "I know. I knew that, Lan, and it didn't change anything. Someone had to." For all that he had faced in the fade, he spoke very little of it. To save face, perhaps, or to attempt to forget it in vain. But this—Maker, he had avoided the what-ifs, the alternate timeline in which the world hadn't been so fucked up. The false hope, the fleeting comfort—and then the crash of despair that swiftly followed.

[kinlochs]

how is cass like as a father? (: also in teaching magic to them (if they’re mages), how is he with that? is he over protective? what if they became blood mages too? does he make sure to not ignore a non-mage kid, how is he with that? ty i love cassian.

cassian is a stern but loving father. he desperately wants to be a father in a way that he had never had himself as a child. his only role models were ones that he had come to loathe as time passed by (for very good reasons), and thus he does not want to replicate them whatsoever. he views himself as a fuck-up, too, something not meant to be here, per say. if he could avoid letting his children go down the same pathway as him, then he'd certainly try.

he's surprisingly adept at teaching magic to his children! it's something that he enjoys and that he teaches them to enjoy, to feel proud of, to foster and grow rather than repress and fear as they had taught in the circle. he would not follow the circle's teachings whatsoever. the children would be considered apostates, but he will never, ever surrender them to the chantry. the closest possible form of education would perhaps be through tevinter, as they treat mages quite differently.

as he himself is a blood mage, he cannot say that it is not allowed. rather, the children would be very well-informed as to the consequences and the stigma of blood magic and they'd be able to make the decisions themselves when they were older. ultimately, he cannot control their actions, only offer his own opinion.

a non-mage child would be more unfamiliar to him. he's grown up around children with magic, he was a child with magic, and so to not have this "burden" upon them leaves a sort of question mark in their place. still, it doesn't mean that they are any less worthy of love or attention. whatever their skills prove to be, he would be sure to nurture them--sword training for a warrior, contacting leliana for a rogue, etc.

tee hee THANK U

[kinlochs]

@haludh sent, ' a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency. '

All this time, Cassian had wanted to see her crack. The Inquisitor was not just a woman, but was also a symbol. In the eyes of the Chantry, she was practically a martyr. He, however, constantly tried to peek around the curtain, because if anyone knew how Inquisitor Lavellan felt at this moment, it would be him. How long would she keep up the charade? If it was anything like Cassian, it would only result in something terrible.

He had not meant to see it like this. It was an inopportune timing, that she entered the chamber while Cassian was still replenishing his mana. Lanaya entered and the connection was immediate: like staring at one another through a glass window. Uninhibited—anger, grief, worry, despair—Lanaya's inner turmoil dragged him beneath the waves, and he let it.

For all the discord within his mind, that which was so tethered to Lanaya's in that moment, Cassian could only smile widely, like he had discovered something spectacular.

"There you are," Cassian breathed. At once, a new heat was added to the mix of emotion. He raised his hand up in a demonstration: he took his fingers and pinched his arm. Simultaneously, he saw the slight wince of pain on Lanaya's face. Irritation lanced through him along with something else.

Cassian smirked in response. A shiver attacked his body, rippling through their shared connection, the senses mirroring themselves. That was enough: between curiosity and a terrifying magnetism, they crashed together in a furious tangle of teeth, tongue, and hands that wandered. He could only attempt to parse the intense feedback loop of sensation between them. The scrape of teeth against a chapped lower lip or the indentation of an incisor in his neck, the short bursts of sunfire breaths between messy and desperate meeting over and over.

His fingers knotted in her hair and yanked Lanaya's head back to expose the column of her neck. Sweet, hot pain reverberated through his own nerves, as did the breath that fanned over her skin. Finally, Cassian planted a long trail of kisses along Lanaya's neck—only to sink down a harsh bite in the junction of shoulder and neck.

There, Cassian could not help it: a low, guttural groan escaped him, the ache upon his own neck simply the start of something dangerously addicting.

[vorashvan]

@haludh said " if we're going to work together, we need to put everyone aside and focus. "

Bellara momentarily pauses her adjustments on the eluvian. Magic shines brightly in a web of calibrations from her fingers to the crystal that dictated whether or not the eluvian would truly function. The pause is there, a flicker in the teal magic—and then it's gone.

"Okay," she responds simply. The problem is, Bellara is never a woman of few words. Her mind races. "I mean," Bellara stands, brushing her hands off and turning to look at Lanaya in the darkness, "You're the one who came and found me in the middle of the forest, so..."

She shrugs.

Bellara didn't know what she expected, but maybe it wasn't this. Maybe her heart had skipped a beat—or five—when she first laid eyes on Lanaya after all of this time. Just like that, she was a teenager again.

"You look older," Bellara adds—unhelpfully. The part she keeps to herself is, you're even more beautiful than before.

[vorashvan]

🔥 + okay this might be a lot but i’d love to hear about bellara’s audhd in relation to sex

EHFNANFNS i have done some research pertaining to this in particular and it might be a chunk of information. that being said—i think it's important to discuss how bellara's audhd ties into sex.

bellara is adept at imitating social behaviours and can generally read most subtext in conversation. though social behaviours to her don't come as naturally and don't make as much sense in her mind, she knows well enough that to foster connections with others that she needs to blend in (ie masking).

sexual interest to bellara is strongly tied with the bond that she has with a person. it's possible that this stemmed from the social difficulties she had in her upbringing. in addition, bellara can find various sensations extremely overstimulating. she becomes irritable, can't focus, etc.

isolated sensations like lips, hands, etc. are generally very positive for bellara. she enjoys the sensation and enjoys sex in general (provided it's with someone she trusts). in contrast to her low sexual interest between relationships, when she does ultimately become attached to someone, the switch flips. then it becomes abundantly clear that Bellara has a high sex drive. she seeks out that feeling of belonging, of pleasurable sensation, of connection.

in light of her adhd, bellara does have a few behaviours that are related to it. she becomes easily distracted during the act if her mind is preoccupied (and also may have trouble climaxing because of this as well). her adhd can cause periods of low sexual desire. on the flip side, bellara likes risky behaviour. she'll engage in impulsive behaviour. things like semi-public sex, multiple partners, etc.

[vorashvan]

@haludh said, ❝ you know, if you want to spend time with me, you only have to say so. ❞

Bellara glances over at Lanaya in the warm firelight and cannot help but to mirror the crooked grin that she finds on her features. She's been hovering all evening, but every time Bellara gets close enough to potentially say something, she changes her mind and dances back out of reach like a butterfly.

"I can't help it," Bellara offers, "you're sitting at the head of the table looking so intimidating. So scary," the Veiljumper teases liberally. Without further ado, she drops directly next to Lanaya and pulls out what looks to be a sheet of bark. She flattens it on the table in front of Lanaya.

"Can you still make origami out of anything and everything?" Bellara asks, the glint in her eyes undimmed after all these years.