Advice to my HBCU (First Year) Brothers & Sisters
First, congratulations! Many people will discredit your experience at an HBCU, many people will ask you “Where is that,” or “Is that even a credited University,” or “What is an HBCU”. Though your College or University may not (always) be a household name, it holds so much power and WILL be the best 4 years of your life. So congratulations, congratulations on deciding to surround yourself with like minded peers, congratulations on surrounding yourself with ambitious scholars that look the same as you (there is nothing more powerful than this, you also will never be surrounded by this many Black, ambitious scholars ever again in your life –I totally plan to right a separate post on this). Congratulations on choosing a Historically Black College and University, you’ve definitely made one of the best decisions you will ever, let me say it in the back for the folks who cant hear me, one of the best decisions you will EVER make in your life! Here is my advice to you before you begin your first year!
1. DO NOT GIVE UP.
You will now be surrounded by African-Americans that were Class Presidents, Valedictorians, Salutatorians and graduating at the top of their class, everyone has completed over 1,000 service hours, not just you! Do not let this intimidate you, allow your brothers and sisters work to push you to do more and to do better.
2. Do not Rant & Gossip on Social Media
For one, it’s messy. Two, Black folks find out information faster than you could ever imagine... In the amount of time it took you to type the message & rant on Twitter or Instagram the person or organization you’re talking about already knows. Don’t get yourself caught up in Twitter and Insta fame for being messy, it’s not cute and will bite you in the behind in the future... 3rd, You are NOT here for drama, you’re here to further your education. That leads me to my next point...
3. Do not get sloppy drunk.
This goes for boys too. It’s not cute, no one wants to take care of you. Know your limit and don’t test it. If this means getting ridiculously drunk in the house before you come to college, do that. There’s nothing worse than that one friend that has to be taken care of. It is embarrassing to those you are with but more importantly to yourself. And to be completely honest, you’re in the room with Black folks that are one day going to be Supreme Court Justices, CEOs, big time Lawyers, Superintendents, heck, your HBCU brother or sister in the room might even be a future President. So yes, it will happen, you will get really drunk but just try your best not to be sloppy.
4. Love your crew and don’t cross them.
It’s your first year, keep folks at a distance, but not too far. You’ll know when you find your crew. It’ll feel right and you won’t have to hide anything from them. You’ll be able to be your raw and true self. Your crew will not let you get sloppy drunk and be “that girl” or “that boy” at a party, they will have your back through thick and thin. They will become your support system, your on campus family and will love you no matter what flaws you show them. When you need someone to motivate you and keep you up during late night studying in the library, your crew will be there to let you sleep for 10 minutes and make sure you wake up to keep studying for your big test in the morning.
5. DO NOT, DO NOT skip class!
It’s so not worth it. You can miss so much in one class period. And it can be so hard to catch up. Obviously if your sick or need to take a mental health day that’s acceptable but don’t miss class because you want to sleep in late because you don’t feel like going to class. Just don’t do it. Get up, walk your butt across campus, go to class and take the notes you need to pass. You are not paying 40,000 a year for you to miss a class.
6. GET ALONG WITH YOUR ROOMMATE(S)
Ya’ll, do not let your roommate allow you to feel uncomfortable and do not let your roommate feel uncomfortable. It’s so unnecessary. We’re grown, talk out the little petty problems you may have amongst yourselves. You’re both paying for the room and deserve to feel comfortable in your own spaces. Nothing is that serious.
7. LIVE...
When I say live, I mean step out of your comfort zones. Join an organization you think may sound interesting, take risks (not anything ridiculous… Fun fact, I went out on the whim my First Year at Spelman and applied to a Summer Study that was in Ghana because it sounded cool, the trip ended up changing my life nonetheless and I got to spend a month in AFRICA… so take risks and be spontaneous), talk to someone you may not normally speak to, attend workshops and events that are held on campus. Go to parties, go to pageants, award ceremonies etc. Do everything, (in the words of my roommate this past summer) live your best life! You only get one undergraduate experience, do everything you can in your power… These 4 years go by so fast. Take it from the person who literally feels like they were walking through the gates at Spelman College for the first time yesterday and all of a sudden is a Graduating Senior.
8. Call your Family and Friends back home.
They miss you, they want to know how you are doing. They want to know that this sacrifice is worth it. Update them on the little things. Tell them how much you love your HBCU (speaking this into existence because you will absolutely fall deeply in love with your HBCU). Call them just to say hi, on your way to or from class or before you go to bed. Don’t get so caught up in your new (awesome) college life that you neglect anyone.
8a. Accept change back home.
I say this as 8a because it goes more so under friends back home… Accept that you will grow apart from some of your high school friends. Going away for college will change you in ways you can’t imagine. Going to an HBCU will change you in ways you cannot imagine. And unfortunately, sometimes that means drifting off from old friends and even your high school sweetheart. It is okay, it is not the end of the world. I promise you will be okay!
9. NO MATTER HOW HARD THINGS GET, DO NOT FORGET WHY YOU ARE HERE.
College is hard. No one said it would be easy. Being away from home is HARD. Being on your own is hard. College will test you in ways you cannot even imagine. But think about all the growth you will have over the course of just one semester. Remember that there is light at the end of every tunnel! Use everything as a learning lesson. No matter how hard things may get, they WILL get better and there is a reason you are here! Remember that you are not here to go out every day and get drunk and party. You are here to further your education, find yourself in the process and become a change agent that pushes your younger African American brothers and sisters to also attend HBCUs. And to be an incredible citizen of this (screwed up) country and to obviously be a leading light in making a change by being the best you can possibly be.
10. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
My last word of advice, take care of yourself. Take care of yourself physically and EMOTIONALLY. (If you believe in God) Seek the Lord, try to build or strengthen your relationship with him when you come to college. A lot of folks (myself included) get very caught up in the daily hustle and bustle of life and their relationship with God weakens in the process. DON’T let your relationship with the Lord diminish, try your best to get up for church every Sunday, especially if you know this keeps you grounded. Even if this means watching an online service! Write in a journal, take time to make sure that with all the stress College brings that you make time for YOU! When you are in your best state of mind life is so much easier!
Good luck with your First Year of College! Again, congratulations on making it thus far! I am sure you will do great things! I pray that you have an incredible experience and that you allow your HBCU to pour into and give you all the tools you need!
XOXO
Skye- Loren